by Emlyn Rees
‘What?’ Taylor said. ‘You thought no one else knew? You’re not as clever as you think. We saw you . . . meeting him . . . down on the quayside yesterday . . .’
Taylor’s expression, there by the harbour, burst back into Kellie’s mind. The concentrated hatred in her eyes . . .
‘And today . . . up in the woods . . . meeting him again . . . talking about last summer in Italy . . . and how much you’re both in love, you dirty fucking whore.’
‘But you’re wrong. If you were there,’ Kellie said, her heart racing, ‘then you’d have heard that –’
‘I’ve heard enough!’ Taylor shouted. ‘You’ve fucking said enough!’
‘But I told him it was over. I told him –’
‘You’re a liar! You’re a fucking liar! You’ve lied to everyone. You even lied to my grandpa, about the name of the law firm where you work. Oh, yes, I’ve worked that out as well. Because you work with him, don’t you? You work with my fucking dad.’
‘Yes, but –’
‘Well let me tell you something. You may think you’re something special, but you’re not. He’s never going to leave us for you. Not now my mum is having a baby.’
Kellie felt as if she’d been hit. Isabelle was having a baby? Elliot’s baby? And he’d known all along? Had he ever intended to tell her? Not that it mattered now.
‘Taylor. Listen to me. You’ve got it all wrong . . .’
‘Let her go, Taylor.’
It was Simon. He was crying.
‘No. Not until she’s learnt her lesson.’
‘But she has, Taylor. She has,’ Simon implored. ‘Mum and dad are going to kill us.’
‘No, they’re not. Because no one’s going to tell them.’
‘But she will,’ Simon wailed.
‘No, she won’t. Because then she’ll have to tell them why we did it. Isn’t that right, you stupid bitch?’
‘Just let me out. I can explain everything. I won’t say a word. I promise. I’ll get right away from here and never come back.’
‘I’ll let you out when I’m ready. If I’m ready. And until then,’ Taylor said, gripping Simon by the coat collar and turning him away, ‘you can stay there and rot.’
‘Taylor! Taylor!’ Kellie shouted, as Taylor, Michael and Simon scrambled away. ‘Jesus Christ! Taylor!’ she shrieked, ‘Ben will be back. He’ll know I’m missing.’
But they’d gone and Kellie’s pleas were lost on the wind. She took a deep breath. They’ll come back, she thought. They were just kids, trying to scare her. They wouldn’t really leave her here, would they? Would they?
But she already knew the answer. She knew how determined Taylor was and exactly where that determination came from.
‘Shit. Shit. Shit!’ she shouted, shaking the grille as hard as she could. Then she noticed it, through the branches of the trees and bushes which surrounded the entrance to the cave: it had started to snow again.
Chapter 28
Nat’s tiny finger squeaked on the glass, as she drew lines on the steamed-up kitchen window. They looked like bars. How appropriate, Stephanie thought, because since the snow had started, the house had felt more like a prison than ever. And worse, there was no way she’d be able to leave today in this.
She hated Boxing Day. She had ever since she was a kid. It was the day when everyone felt hungover and stuffed full of too-rich food, when the best television had already been shown. And this year was setting a new standard in terrible Boxing Days. Stephanie knew she was responsible for causing most of the bad atmosphere, but she didn’t know what to do to make it better. She’d considered trying to smooth things over with Isabelle, but the moment hadn’t presented itself and she’d lost heart. She should be happy about the baby, that Isabelle and Elliot were having another chance after all this time, but she knew that anything she said now would just sound like a false platitude.
And she ought to be glad that David was back, but he was in the worst mood that she’d ever seen him in, and she wished he’d stayed at the pub. He’d hardly said two words to her since he’d arrived in the middle of the night and had slurringly asked her to help Kellie. It had been tense and awkward, not helped by the fact that David was trying to pretend that he wasn’t drunk and by the fact that she was only half sober herself.
At first, she’d been annoyed that he’d brought home random strangers, but then she’d recognised Ben and had busied herself dressing Kellie’s head. Her father had insisted that Kellie should stay and that Stephanie should keep an eye on her. And so, when Simon had got up to see what all the fuss was about, Stephanie had suggested that Kellie sleep in his room, and had later taken Simon to bed with her. She had no idea where David had slept, but she assumed it must have been on the sofa.
‘Ah, that should do it,’ Gerald said, moving away from the stove, where a huge vat of liquid was bubbling on the hob. He wiped his hands on his apron, which had the torso of a voluptuous woman in a bikini pictured on it. A blob of tomato puree adorned her belly, like a stab wound.
Stephanie looked at the debris all over the table and units. It was the same every year, this ridiculous Boxing Day ritual he went through: in an uncharacteristic flurry of culinary activity, her father boiled up the turkey carcass to make turkey broth, which he then froze in little Tupperware pots. It smelt disgusting.
The effort involved was by no means commensurate with the taste of the rather salty weak soup, but her father insisted on its nutritional and healing qualities, serving it up whenever anyone in the family felt ill.
It had taken a great deal of will power on Stephanie’s behalf not to point out to him that if he’d only spread out the effort he made in the kitchen over the whole year, instead of exhausting himself on Boxing Day, he might have a much better diet.
He tapped the top of the new bread-baking machine and looked at his watch, satisfied. Apparently, there was sun-dried-tomato focaccia in the offing too. Stephanie didn’t have the heart to tell him the fancy loaves he’d made so far with the machine had been almost inedible. After yesterday, she’d forfeited the right to make any kind of negative comments to anyone. Her father was still upset by what had happened and was trying his best to chivvy her along, but Stephanie knew that this was all too much for him, that he wasn’t used to dealing with emotional situations. She felt duty-bound not to stamp on his fragile efforts, or comment on the fact that the longer she spent in his company, the more odd and eccentric he seemed
She smiled weakly. ‘Smells great, Dad,’ she said.
‘I thought I might clean this lot up and then make a start on unpacking those boxes in the studio. What do you say? Why don’t you give me a hand? Nat, why don’t you come too?’
‘OK,’ Stephanie said, too exhausted to argue.
‘Hello, Uncle Elliot,’ Nat said, as Elliot came into the kitchen, carrying a folded newspaper. He looked dishevelled and angry as he opened and shut all the cupboards.
‘Hi, sweetie-pie,’ he said, but the usual affection in his voice was missing. Stephanie supposed that he must be feeling tired too.
She saw Elliot tuck a bottle of whisky under the newspaper. He caught Stephanie’s eye.
‘What?’ he said.
‘Nothing,’ she replied. ‘Aren’t you starting rather early?’
‘What’s it to you?’
Stephanie realised her father was watching her. She knew she couldn’t start another argument with Elliot.
‘I’ll be in the dining room, if anyone wants me,’ Elliot said.
‘Would you like a bowl of turkey broth?’ her father asked.
‘You know I hate that bloody awful stuff, Dad.’
‘Well, you don’t have to be so rude. I’m going up to give some to Kellie. I’m sure she’ll like it.’
‘She’s not here,’ Elliot said, bluntly. ‘She’s gone back to the village. She went ages ago.’
‘Well, no one told me,’ Stephanie said. She was rather offended that Kellie hadn’t said goodbye. It had been a couple of hours
, she realised, since she’d last seen her. She’d assumed that she was upstairs having a bath and relaxing, but apparently, she’d sneaked off – but then she must be embarrassed, Stephanie thought. It must be horrible waking up in a strange house with a hangover. Still, it was odd that she had slipped out without even thanking Gerald for putting her up for the night.
‘Oh, dear,’ her father said, clearly disappointed. ‘I suppose she wanted to get back to Ben.’
They both watched Elliot walk out without saying anything more.
Stephanie bit her lip. ‘He’s not in a great mood, is he?’
‘I don’t think anyone is,’ her father replied. ‘Now, give me a hand, would you?’
I’m sorry, she wanted to say, but she didn’t. She couldn’t. She didn’t know quite what she should apologise for. For bringing her misery into her father’s Christmas, perhaps? Or for causing a scene? His tone made it perfectly clear that the only way she could make amends was by not causing any more trouble. As she cleared up the kitchen, she felt like a teenager again.
Upstairs in her father’s studio, it was cold, so Nat went downstairs to find a jumper to wear over the sparkly Barbie princess dress she had yet to take off.
‘Might as well start with this box,’ her father said to Stephanie, after he’d turned on the lights. ‘Just see if there’s anything you want to keep. I’m on for doing a big clear-out. It’s mostly old photos.’
Stephanie opened the box. It was full of pictures of her wedding and of the kids when they were little. She sighed. ‘I know what you’re trying to do, Dad,’
He shrugged and tried to look innocent. ‘I just thought you’d want to look. If you want to just throw them all away . . .’
She put her hand on the box. ‘I told you last night, my mind is made up.’
‘I know, but I just thought . . . well, . . . the thing is . . .’ he paused and stepped towards her. ‘I want to tell you something.’
‘What?’ She felt exhausted. Was he going to launch into a lecture about the sanctity of marriage?
‘You see, I’ve been waiting for the right moment. And I wanted to say something yesterday, but . . .’ He looked at her and looked away again quickly.
Here it comes, thought Stephanie, folding her arms like a child receiving a talking to.
‘It’s just that I’ve been seeing someone. Here.’
Stephanie didn’t move. She stared at him open-mouthed. These were just about the last words she’d ever imagined him saying.
‘What do you mean? Seeing someone?’ she managed, eventually.
Gerald took a deep breath. ‘I haven’t told the others yet. I wanted to tell you first.’
Stephanie felt her knee trembling. She wished it would stop. How could this be happening? How could he be telling her this now?
‘Is it serious?’ she asked.
‘Fairly serious. She’s called Tina Belling. She moved into the Steadmans’ old cottage last year, and . . . well, she likes the same things that I do and . . .’
Stephanie hardly heard what he was saying. There was a woman here that her father had been seeing? What did that mean? She had no idea how to process the information he was telling her.
‘Her family is here for Christmas. Her daughter Toni and her grandson Oliver. I haven’t met them yet, but I thought that I’d invite Tina over tomorrow for a drink. If it’s OK with you. Only now that David is back, I thought –’
At the mention of David’s name, Stephanie snapped back into focus with what he was saying. So this big confession was all so that her father could present a loving, happy family? He thought that Stephanie and David and Elliot and Isabelle would make him look good. The doctor and the lawyer. Happily married. That’s what he thought. She could see it in his eyes.
Had he no idea what she’d just been through?
She wiped her hands over her mouth. She felt like such a fool. Now that he said it, it was so bloody obvious. All the clues had been there and she’d missed them. She thought about how well he looked, how he’d disappeared with the dog – when they’d first arrived and again after lunch yesterday. She hadn’t given it a second thought, but now she wondered whether he’d been keeping secret assignations behind everyone’s back. Had he gone to meet this Tina person, to let off steam about his own family? Is that why he’d been so rational and understanding towards her last night? Had he consulted Tina about it?
And this morning – he had stuck by her side. She could tell now that he’d been on tenterhooks wanting to tell her this.
‘Well, Dad, um . . .’
She ran out of words. She’d thought he was her rock. But he wasn’t. He belonged to someone else.
‘You’ll like her,’ Gerald appealed to her.
She thought back to how he’d been this Christmas. How content he seemed. How strong. Had Tina done that? Is that why he’d moved here permanently? To be near her? And all this time she’d been worrying about him . . .
Stephanie suddenly felt as if the world had turned upside down without her noticing. Everything was different. Everything she’d assumed about the way her family would always be had just been ripped away from her.
She tried to conjure up a memory of her mother to help her, but she could only see her father standing in front of her like a nervous teenager. He was wringing his hands.
‘I want you to be happy for me, Steph.’
Stephanie didn’t know whether to cry, or slap his face, or both, but she forced herself to do neither. For the first time in her life, she recognised that her father needed to stop being a parent for a moment and for her to be an adult. Against every instinct inside her to run away, she took a step towards him and hugged him.
‘I guess Mum would have wanted this,’ she whispered, a tear spilling down her cheek. ‘She wouldn’t have wanted you to be lonely.’
‘You can meet Tina. You can see for yourself,’ he said. She felt his body relax in her embrace. Stephanie forced herself to swallow her tears as she stepped away.
Then behind her, the door opened.
‘Ah, David. Come in, come in,’ Gerald said, as if he hadn’t just dropped a bombshell, as if everything was completely normal – and Stephanie saw now that it was for him. This was his world. ‘We were just talking . . .’
David cleared his throat. He didn’t move. Stephanie wondered for a second whether her father had stage-managed this in order to get them to talk.
‘Ben’s downstairs,’ he said, immediately dispelling any doubts in Stephanie’s mind about her father’s involvement. His tone was hard. Detached. As if he didn’t want to be anywhere near Stephanie or her father. ‘He says Kellie went to see him this afternoon, then he went to get his boat, but when he got back, she wasn’t there. He’s worried about her and thinks she might have called back here.’
‘No, we haven’t seen her,’ Gerald said.
Stephanie walked past David into the corridor and he jerked away so that she wouldn’t touch him. It felt unbearable being this close to him. It was as if they both repelled each other like the opposite ends of magnets.
Stephanie went down the stairs ahead of him.
‘I was merely asking you whether you’d seen her. I’m capable of sorting this out myself, Stephanie,’ he said.
She thought about the photographs she’d held in her hands only a few moments ago. Could those really be pictures of her and David? How could two people so happy and together end up like this?
‘I should look for her, or at least find out what’s happened,’ Stephanie said. ‘She’s my patient. If anyone needs to find her, it’s me. She’s had a nasty bump on her head. She could have fainted or fallen down.’
‘Well, perhaps you shouldn’t have let her leave so soon.’
‘And perhaps you should be taking care of your new friends, David. Since you obviously enjoyed such a heart to heart with them last night, I’m surprised you haven’t been with them asking for more advice.’ It still annoyed her that he’d so obviously told Kellie and Ben al
l about their problems. How else would Kellie know so much about her and her family?
She regretted it the moment she’d said it – not because it wasn’t true, but because all the comment would do was further fuel David’s resentment, and thereby lengthen this conversation. She had no more words left to give him. She’d said all she could say to him yesterday. Before he could answer, she hurried down the stairs.
Isabelle was talking to Ben in the hallway.
‘I found this carrier bag by the front door with my clothes in it,’ Isabelle was saying. ‘She left a note, thanking us.’ She looked up at Stephanie.
‘Well, I wish she’d listened to me,’ Stephanie said. ‘She should be resting. Hello, Ben.’
‘Hi, Stephanie,’ Ben said. ‘I’ve looked everywhere else. She said she was going to bring Isabelle’s clothes, then she’d wait at the pub, but she hasn’t been back there. I really thought she’d be here.’
‘I have no idea where she could be,’ Stephanie said. There was something odd about this. She could feel it.
‘But she can’t have just disappeared. People don’t just vanish.’
‘Don’t worry,’ David said, coming down the stairs. ‘She’ll turn up.’
‘I don’t understand it. We’re meant to be going back tonight. That’s why I went to get the boat.’
‘I thought you might. I was going to ask you whether you’d take me with you,’ David said.
He didn’t look at Stephanie. She’d been planning on asking Ben to take her and the kids back to the mainland, but if David was prepared to bail out first, then so much the better. This was, after all, her family home and not his. She thought about what her father had just told her. She couldn’t leave now, even if she’d wanted to.
‘I’m not going anywhere on the boat in this,’ Ben said. ‘It’s horrible out there. That’s why I’m so worried about Kellie.’
