“Really?” Milo adjusted himself, sitting up more. “I don’t think that’s completely true, Samuel.”
“I'm not a child. I’ve experienced far more than others my age.”
“Yes, too much, and those experiences are going to take time to get over and move on from. You might not see—”
Samuel sat up and crossed his arms around himself. “I might not be the most intelligent person, but I'm not stupid. I know what I've been through, and I've spent almost a year working through them. You thought maybe I spent the first year of my freedom with my head up my arse and not remembering what happened, never thinking about who I’d become, what I needed to do to get better?” Samuel rubbed his forehead and let Milo stroke his back softly. “I had help.” He bit his bottom lip while he thought of Claudia. “She worked at the hospital in London where I was taken to right after I escaped. I stayed with her for about five months.” Samuel looked into Milo’s eyes. “They found me, I was afraid they’d find her too. I never went back to the house after I saw them, but I had to say goodbye, so I went to the hospital where she worked and told her I had to leave and why. We only saw each other once more after that when she dropped off my things.”
“We can check up on her if you like. Make sure she’s doing okay, let her know you’re alright. I'm sure she’d appreciate it.”
Samuel wanted to know if she was okay and he nodded.
“Don’t be afraid. I'm sure she’s fine. I’ll try to find her. Do you know her address?”
“Yes.”
“Type it into the laptop and show me.”
Samuel was surprised when the row of houses came up and he quickly pointed out where he’d lived with Claudia and told him the name of the hospital that she worked at where they met. Then he showed Milo the club where he’d escaped. Milo was jotting everything down as they spoke, making notes and being all business again. When Samuel had finished, Milo gently stroked his hair back from his face and smiled.
“She’s very important to you.”
“She was the closest thing to a mum I had since I lost my own. I’ve wanted to call her, write to her, but then I worried if they were watching her. It was best to leave her alone, to end everything. I had to keep her safe. That’s why I’ve stayed alone since I left her, I was sick of putting other people in danger. I don’t want you or Daniel to be hurt. I’d rather leave now than risk that.”
“We’re doing everything we can to not let that happen. Daniel’s important to me. I feel the same way about him.”
“I’m sorry for putting him danger.”
“I'm not just concerned about him. I'm worried about you too. I don’t want anything to happen to you, and I don’t want you to leave here thinking it will keep us safe. Even if you left, I would still continue to bring these men down, and I’d never stop looking for you. Neither would Daniel.”
Samuel shut his eyes and held himself tightly. He wanted to keep them safe by leaving, but he also wanted to stay and be selfish. To keep both of them in his life, because for the first time in a long time, he felt happy here. “I don’t want to leave you.”
“Good, because that’s how I feel too.”
“You should want me to go.”
“Because of the men who are searching for you, or because of how you feel about Daniel?” Milo shut the laptop and placed it on the floor, tapping the sofa beside him. Samuel shifted away, but the firm look in those dark eyes made him stop. “You’re bound to have strong feelings for him. He was the one who saved you. Who took you in and gained your trust when no man had done that for such a long time. This is why Daniel and I worry about you. These feelings, they’re something a lot of people in your position feel. I’m not saying I know exactly how you feel, and I'm not saying I'm right, but I'm trying to make you see there are reasons for you to feel so connected to Daniel, and to think about that.”
Samuel played with his hair, never once looking at Milo while he thought about everything he’d said. “I know there are reasons why I care so much for him, and yes, being rescued by him, being taken into his home like this, it’s part of the reason, but it’s not just those. It’s everything about him.” Samuel eventually turned around, tucking one of his legs under himself and moving closer to Milo. “I don’t want to cause problems between you two.”
“You’re not.” Milo glanced away and Samuel gently took hold of his hand.
“I am.”
Milo sighed then gripped his hand tighter. “Everything between me and Daniel is complicated. You’re actually keeping things simpler rather than complicating things further.” Milo smiled softly. “That seems wrong, but it’s not. If you hadn’t been here, I'm sure Daniel wouldn’t have taken me back so easily. He needs me here for the investigation. To help protect you.”
“That’s not why you’re here. He loves you a lot. You love him. Why wouldn’t you be together?”
Milo laughed. “That’s the million pound question. One we’re still working on sorting out.” Milo ran his fingertip down Samuel’s cheekbone, moving his gaze slowly over every inch of Samuel’s face while he thought hard about something. “Anyone who thought you were anything less than stunning is a fool. Don’t believe their lies.”
“It’s easy not to when I'm surrounded by people who make me feel like you two do. Thank you.”
“There’s no need to thank me.”
“I think there is. You should always thank someone after receiving a compliment. It’s difficult to believe two men as handsome as you, who are involved with each other, would even spare a glance at me.”
“I’m sure both me and Daniel could enjoy looking at you for a very long time.”
Samuel dropped his gaze to his hands curled in his lap, trying to not think about everything he wanted to do with Milo right then. He wanted to curl up on his thighs, wrap his arms around his neck and kiss him. Feel his hard body against him, feel how he wanted him. But then, did Milo want him? Just because he thought he was beautiful didn’t mean he desired him.
“I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.” Milo slid further away and Samuel turned to look at him.
“You didn’t.”
“I think I did.” Milo started to get up but Samuel slammed his hand on his muscular chest and kneeled up.
“I don’t need you to think for me. I’ve had enough of that. I'm able to think and do things for myself. I'm not as brainless as you think I am. Stop doing it. I'm allowed to feel and think what I want to. You can judge those feelings and thoughts, but you can’t tell me not to have them, or make me feel I'm wrong.”
“I didn’t mean—”
“I know you’re both looking out for me, but I need to feel I can at least think for myself. Even if I get it wrong, I want to experience that. I'm innocent in a lot of ways, but I'm also sneaky and manipulative when I want to be. I've had to be like that. I've been through things most people my age will never experience, but I’ve learned to cope with those things. It’s the everyday things, like shopping and deciding what to wear and what to buy which throws me.”
“You’ll have time to become used to those things. And you’re right. We can be too overprotective, but it’s just difficult right now to let you have a lot of space. You’re still not safe, Samuel, but you will be. Until then, we’ll just have to learn as we go along how to deal with everything. As long as you’re happy here, and okay with everything, then we have time. Just tell me if I’m being too overbearing, I tend to do that a lot. I don’t have a soft touch like Daniel does. Maybe together we can keep you happy.” Milo laughed at that, then shook his head.
Samuel bit his lip then looked at his feet. “Daniel’s too soft with me. You’re not, but I need that too. I’m so used to having people do everything for me, it’s easier to just let that continue, but I don’t want it to keep happening. I don’t think you’ll let that continue.”
“I won’t. I'm not a push over. And even though I care about you and keeping you safe, that won’t mean I’ll change totally. I�
�ll try to be more…” He chewed his lip. “Well, just less abrupt. Less me.”
“I like you being you.” Samuel smiled softly at him and got one back.
“I'm glad.”
Both of them shared a long look, then Milo took in a deep breath and stood up. “I have some things to finish off, or start depending on how you look at it. Why don’t you play around on the laptop? Take a look at what’s been going on in the world. I’ll be in the kitchen if you need me.”
Samuel took the laptop from him and settled it on his lap. He had no idea what to do with it, but he was sick of living in his little bubble. He may not be able to leave the house, but that didn’t stop him from seeing the world.
Chapter 18
Milo sat back in his chair and watched the grey haired woman sitting in front of him. Claudia Hemmingworth was easy to find. Not only was she still a registered nurse, but she still lived in the same little terrace house where she took Samuel.
Milo talked to her for hours. What started off as a telephone conversation a day ago led to her being called in to give an official statement. She insisted on coming to Manchester to do it too, instead of just letting an officer in her local station take it. She was here to visit Samuel, of course, and after talking to her in detail about his time with her, Milo knew both of them would have an emotional reunion.
Her account of what their little Sleeping Beauty went through after he escaped had been difficult to listen to. Milo was too involved for it not to be. He couldn’t just sit back and let the information filter through his barriers, it slammed into him and took everything over. He couldn’t hide how angry he was or how much pain he felt for Samuel. It was something Claudia appreciated, and she even commended him on doing such a good job of protecting him.
It would have been easier to accept if Milo felt like he was doing a good job. He felt like part of him was taking advantage of Samuel, even if it was just internal and never acted on. Almost a week had gone by since their first day alone together. A week of them being together alone a lot due to Daniel’s shifts at the fire station, and Milo not wanting to draw any more attention to where Samuel was staying by keeping them both under a self-imposed house arrest.
Claudia finished off her tea, talking to two detectives from CID while Milo drifted in and out of the conversation. He’d heard most of this before, but still half listened for anything new she’d forgotten. He was only here because he was driving her to Daniel’s house for her visit. He checked his watch, five thirty. They were expected at sixish and Milo didn’t want either Daniel or Samuel to worry about her being late, so he stood up and flashed a quick look at the guys across from him.
“If you’re done, I’d like to get going. Ms Hemmingworth will be available for questions tomorrow morning before she leaves.”
“We’re just wrapping up a few loose ends. Give us ten minutes, then she’s all yours.”
Milo clenched his jaw and nodded. “I’ll be changing out of my uniform. Ms Hemmingworth, I’ll be back soon.”
“I’ll be here waiting for you.” She smiled widely. “I can’t wait to see my little Sammy.”
“He’s very excited about this visit. Worried too.” Milo silently glared at the men beside him as he walked off. “Which is why I’d like to get going on time tonight.”
After a quick change, Milo leaned against the wall in the changing rooms and called Daniel up. “Hey. I'm late. Not my fault this time. Tell Samuel Claudia is fine and can’t wait to get out of here so she can see him.”
“I’ll let him know. He’s worn a hole in the floor pacing around for the last half of the day. We need to buy him an Xbox or something.”
“Books are good. How’s he getting along with the Kindle?”
“Urgh, don’t. You have some shit books on there. And what’s with all the randy romance shit?”
Milo grinned down the phone. “I like light reads after work. I don’t want murder and mystery. I get enough of that in my real life."
“You’d think some of that romance might make it into your real life at some point.”
“I have ideas. I can be romantic.”
“Really? When?”
“Danny…” Milo laughed. “You know, you could do the same thing for me. Why does it have to be me?”
“I once arranged a weekend away and you went mental. We ended up not going.”
“You booked it without me knowing. I had work commitments I couldn’t get out of.”
“Well, how could I surprise you with my romantic gesture if you knew about it, huh?”
Milo sighed. “I'm going now.”
“Wait! Samuel wants you.” Daniel passed the phone over and he heard the gentle breaths of Samuel before he spoke.
“Milo, is Claudia really okay?”
“She’s fine, Princess. I'm bringing her home now. She did really good.”
“Did she… you know, tell you everything?”
Milo ran his fingers through his hair. “Yeah, she did.”
Samuel waited a few moments, then took a deep breath. “Are you okay?”
Milo laughed as he shook his head. Samuel knew what Claudia had told Milo, and he was only concerned about him. “Yeah, I'm…” He wanted to just spew some shit out and hide everything like he usually did, but he found it hard to be so detached around Samuel, and right then, there was no hiding the small shake in his voice or the thickness in his throat as he spoke. “I'm more determined than ever to get these fuckers. And I need a hug or something from you when I see you.”
“I can do that.” Samuel chuckled softly. “Don’t tell Daniel,” he whispered the words and Milo sighed.
“We should tell him, perhaps not the detailed version like what I got, but… just the basics.”
It was different hearing Samuel’s watered down version of his kidnapping and recovery, but hearing it from Claudia, seeing the pictures she took for evidence, it was heartbreaking and something Milo didn’t want to share with Daniel. But they were all in this together and he should be up to speed.
“Thank you. I cooked dinner.”
“I'm sure it will be good. I’ll be home soon, okay?”
“Okay. Bye, Milo.”
“Bye, Honey.”
Milo walked back through the building to his department and found Claudia looking out of the window and appearing deep in thought. “Ms Hemmingworth, if you’re ready, Samuel’s waiting for you.”
“Of course.” She wrapped her coat tighter around her and took a deep breath. “I know he’s been living rough since I last saw him, but after talking to you, I feel better about how he’s doing. I thought he’d slip up and start using again. I’m really happy to hear he stayed clean.”
Milo gently pressed his hand against her back and walked with her to the lift. “He never wanted those drugs in the first place. No matter what happened to him after he got clean, he’d never go back to using.”
Claudia smiled softly as they waited for the lift to arrive. “I felt that too, but all the same, there was still that little doubt in my mind. And, I had no idea if those horrible men found him again. I’ve been so worried. His last letter was so long ago. He’s like my son.” She wiped a tear from her eyes as the doors slid open and they stepped inside. “I love him like my own. I know that’s insane, but we went through so much in such little time. I’m not the easiest person to open their heart up like I did. I’ve seen a lot over the years. I guess like you in this job, you get a tough skin.”
Milo nodded, watching the lights tick down on the floors.
“Samuel’s just so easy to love.”
“I know.” Milo smiled softly as the doors opened.
Claudia followed him out, then stopped him by placing her hand on his arm. “You love him differently from me.”
“What?” Milo stared into her eyes and took a few breaths. “I didn’t say that.”
She shook her head. “You love him. It’s easy to see. The pain you showed when you saw those pictures. Saw what he’d been through at
the hands of those disgusting men. You’ve been in this job too long for it to affect you like it did.”
“I'm not in love with him. I don’t fall in love like that.” Liar, Milo. What about Daniel? You knew the moment you saw him just how much you would love him. “And I'm very concerned about his mental well-being. I'm his guardian, not legally, but right now… He’s my job. I care about him keeping safe.”
“You’re in love with him.” She fastened her coat buttons and walked off, leaving him in a frustrated state and not moving. “Don’t lie to me. There’s no need. He needs loving. I can’t think of a better person for it to come from either.”
“Look.” Milo stopped her before they reached the exit by holding her elbow. “He’s living with my boyfriend.” Milo ran his fingers through his hair again and sighed. “I don’t want you to think I'm… well, that we’re… It’s innocent.”
“I believe you, Milo.” She stroked his arm and smiled. “Doesn’t your boyfriend mind you being so smitten with his house guest?”
“Not when he’s even more smitten with him.” Milo rolled his eyes. This sounded even worse out loud than in his head.
“Ahh.” She laughed loudly, then walked out of the door. “I see. And he’s the fireman who rescued Samuel, isn’t he?”
“Yeah. I know what you’re going to say. We’ve been through all this over the last ten days since we met Samuel.”
“Saving Samuel will take more than just you. I'm happy he has two strong, capable people around him.”
Milo nodded, looking at his car in the distance. Sometimes he wondered if it was Samuel being saved, or if he was saving the two of them. Since he’d come into their lives, things moved so much smoother. “I don’t know if loving him is the right thing to do.”
Claudia laughed again. “Since when is love ever the wrong thing to feel? And who the hell could stop it from happening anyway? Love is love. The heart can’t be told what to feel. It has its own way of dealing with these types of things, and does what it wants. Even if you don’t want it to. You can’t fight it. Does Samuel return your feelings?”
Manchester Ménage 01 - Saving Samuel Page 13
