by Leaona Luxx
“No time, my friend!” I yell, running down the hall.
I open the cabinet and start making Luci a bottle. While I wait on Alden to change her, I get started on some breakfast for us. I’m knee-deep into pancake stacking when they walk around the corner.
Their hair a matching set of tufts and smiles on their faces. “I wanted to ask you something.”
“Shoot.” He sits down with her, giving her a bottle.
I shift my feet, not sure how to ask. “I was wondering if you’d mind me taking some pictures of Luci?”
“You mean, like a real photographer or just around here?” He watches me as I flip the flapjacks.
I give a half shrug. “I actually go to school for photography and business.”
“You do? That’s amazing.” He smiles. “I don’t think I have pictures of her, other than selfies.”
“Yeah, I was gonna mention that.”
“Mention what?” He looks at me concerned.
“Her selfie game is on point, but yours needs a lot of work.” I wink at him as I set a plate full of pancakes in front of him.
“Har, har.” He catches my hand. “Thank you.”
Damn his blue eyes and these butterflies. “You’re welcome.”
“I need to ask you for a favor.” He twists his mouth.
I sit down beside him with my plate. “Why do you sound so nefarious?”
“I’m planning on kidnapping you both and robbing a bank so we can run off to Jamaica.” He chuckles.
“Oh, cool. Let’s do this.” I hold my fist, and he bumps it.
“Seriously though, I have a meeting Tuesday to discuss my future. Sam, my manager, had plans for me to have a recording contract by this time, but life went off the tracks.” He rubs the back of his neck.
“That’s not a problem.” I watch as he inhales his food. “I have to sign up for fall classes tomorrow, but other than work, I’m good to help this week.”
“I know, and I appreciate it.” He scratches his beard. “I’m afraid she's gonna want to get back at it.”
“You mean, singing and touring?” My chest tightens.
He chews on the corner of his mouth. “Yeah, I hate the thought of it.”
“But music is such a huge part of your life, it’s what defines you.”
“I’m not sure what defines me anymore, Charlee.” His pupils dilate as he gets lost deep in thought.
My heart clenches. I lay my hand over his. His eyes flutter to mine. “You don’t have to have all of the answers today.”
His lip quivers. “I need some of them soon.”
“One answer, one day at a time.” I squeeze his hand. “More will come as you need them.”
He grasps my fingers. “I am in awe of you, Charlee Rae.”
My pulse quickens. “Back atcha.”
“Ladies, what’s on the agenda for today?” He looks down at Luci, smiling.
“I’m not sure if I can make plans today, I already had some.”
His head snaps up. “You do?”
“Yes, there’s a great event at Netflix-n-Chill that I can’t miss.”
He cocks his brow. “I may be overstepping here, but would you like some company?”
“I’ll see what I can arrange.” I return his smile.
The following two days fly by and Tuesday’s here before we want it to be. Alden’s reluctance to leave us is heartwarming and troubling. He’s still vulnerable, and I’m afraid this isn’t in his best interest.
“I’ll text you as soon as I’m free to check on y’all.” He shoves his phone in his pocket and starts to button his shirt.
I’m holding Luci as we watch him run around the apartment nervously. “We’ll be here and I’ll make sure she’s taken care of, I promise.”
He rubs his forehead until it starts turning red. “I know. I know.”
“Alden, it’s gonna be okay.” I lay Luci down and walk over to him.
“Yeah, of course it is.” He runs his hand through his hair.
I stand in front of him, tiptoeing to fix his collar. His eyes flicker to mine. “Take a deep breath and remember who the hell you are.” I re-button his shirt and straighten it for him.
“I’m Alden fuckin’ Beck.” He pulls his brows low. “Minus the fucking.”
“Trust me, Alden. Where you’re concerned, there’ll always be fucking.” I wiggle my brows.
Before I know it, I’m in his arms. “Charlee Rae.” My heart skips a beat as my name leaves his lips.
His eyes sparkle as they burn with the same frenzied desire that’s spiraling out of control through my body. His racing heart matches mine, and I catch my breath.
“You better get going.”
He searches my eyes, and I pray he finds what he needs in them. His hands slowly loosen, and he sets me free. “Yeah, I suppose I should.”
Luci coos and begins to kick. I reach over for her and pick her up. “Say goodbye to da—Alden.” I swallow past my faux pas.
“I won't be gone long, baby girl.” He kisses her forehead. “Love you.” He leans in kissing my cheek as he barely escapes my lips. “I-I’ll be back.”
“Yeah, we’ll be here,” I say enthusiastically.
The day drags without Alden here, or maybe it’s just the anticipation of not knowing. I’ve cleaned the house and finished the laundry. I suppose I could use a cleaning myself.
“Hey, Luci. I need a shower. What’cha say we go make a bubble bath and soak.” I pick her little wiggling butt up and grab a robe.
The water is the perfect temperature as I sink in, holding Luci to my chest. I didn’t add a ton of bubbles and I used her baby wash for what we have; the lavender is soothing.
I run a washcloth over her delicate skin as I listen to all of her sounds. She’s becoming a little more animated as time goes by, her cooing is turning into garbles as she tries to talk.
“Yes, baby girl. You’re good.” I smile as the goos sound as if she’s saying ‘I’m good’. My heart is ready to explode it’s so full of love for her.
“I promise you, Luci Renee. No matter where I am or what I’m doing, I’ll always be here for you. Always, sweetie.”
I hum along as my phone plays country music; it’s growing on me. I roll my eyes. I stop singing when I hear a noise through the house. Nothing. I decide to call out.
“Hello?” I pause. “Alden?”
Again, nothing. I continue bathing Luci, cupping my hand and sprinkling water over her. The door moves and before I can say another word, it swings wide.
“Hey, you two,” Alden says as he steps in and lays on eyes on us.
“Oh my god.” I grab the curtain and close it. “What are you doing?”
“I thought you were bathing Luci.” He chuckles.
“I am, but I’m taking one too.”
“I see that, nice.” I peek from the side of the curtain, and he’s grinning like a possum.
“Ass.”
“No, I didn’t see that.” He laughs.
I bite my lip. “No, but you have before.”
“I sure have and in my opinion, it’s the best around.” He waggles his brows. I throw a bottle of shampoo at him.
“Get out!”
“Don’t mind me, it’s nothing I haven’t seen before.” His eyes smolder.
I shake my head. “Starting things we can’t finish is a bad idea.”
“Oh, honey. I’d damn well finish and if memory serves, you would too.” He smirks.
I narrow my eyes at him. “Are you going to leave or should I get out and let you deal with blue balls?”
“I’ll take my chances.” He winks.
I point to the door, “Go!”
He steps toward me. “I’ll just get Luci for ya.”
“Alden!” He dies laughing and walks out, shutting the door behind him.
I can’t help the grin on my face. “Dork.”
“You like it!” He yells from the hall.
“Hello, Alden. How have you been?” Sam takes my
hand, placing hers over it. I hate when she holds it too long.
“Good, getting there.”
She steps to the side. “Please, let’s have a seat.”
“Thank you.” Walker smashes his mouth together. He does not approve of Sam either.
“Samantha Moxy.” She shakes Walker’s hand. “Please, call me Sam.”
Walker’s unimpressed. “Walker Pennington of Pennington and Pennington. My wife couldn’t be here today so I’m filling in.”
“All the good ones are taken.” She cuts her eyes to me. “Except for one.”
I rub my chin. “No time for that right now.”
“We can work on that.” She simpers. “Let’s get down to business.”
“You called us here.” Walker shifts in his seat.
Sam looks to him and back. “Yes, well I understand there are no time frames on things like these, but we would like to get you working again.”
“I agree, but I’m not sure when that’ll be. Luci is still having a few issues I feel I need to be present for.”
Sam scoots onto her desk and crosses her legs. “Let’s look at this from a business perspective, shall we.”
“Alright.” I side-eye Walker as he cracks his knuckles.
Sam tilts her head, ready to sell. “You want a recording contract, and I’m here to make sure you get it. If you’re not on the prowl, you’ll not find it. You have to want this, Alden, and I was under the presumption you did.”
“I did—do want it, but my priorities have changed.”
Her face contorts. “If I’m being honest, and let’s be real—it’s what you’re paying me for—it doesn’t feel like you do.”
“If I’m being honest, there’s nothing contractual that he isn’t doing. He has a right to a bereavement period.” Walker readies for a fight.
Sam inclines her head toward me. “Without a doubt, but with all the great foundation you’ve laid, do you want to take a chance? If it had been me, I would’ve publicized the fact you lost your brother and are attempting to raise his child.”
“I am raising her.” I sit ramrod straight. “Their death will not be used as a stunt; do you understand me?”
She uncrosses her legs and shifts her body. “I think I’ve been fair and given you time to take care of the things needed, but I want you back on the stage.”
“Let me be clear—you’re his management, not his life.” Walker’s jaw ticks.
Sam holds her hand out in front of her. “But I hold that here.”
Walker leans forward, and I tap his hand. “You manage my engagements and work toward getting me a recording contract; you do not dictate what’s more important between my work and life.”
“Alden, dear,” she purrs. “I only want what’s best for you. Dropping so many dates and not giving anyone an idea of what’s going on is ruining all that you’ve built.”
“I know,” I bite back what I want to say. “I’ll see what I can arrange and let you know by the end of the week.”
She leans forward, laying her hand over mine. “That’s all anyone can ask of you.”
“Strange, that isn’t the feeling I get.” Walker steeples his fingers.
Sam reaches over touching his knee, to which Walker cocks his brow before moving his knee. “Never the feeling I wanted to give.”
I shoot straight up out of the chair. “Good talk, I’ll be in touch.”
“As always, I’ll be waiting to hear from you.” Sam reaches for my hand, and my skin crawls.
I shake it to find Walker at the door. We practically run from the room. “Shit, Reese gonna whip her ass.” I chuckle on our way to the elevator.
“Hell yes she is, she’s walking on ice.” Walker stares straight ahead. “How in the world does Aksel work for her?”
“I have no clue, I do know he’s ready to get outta here.”
“Lea or One would raise hell if they knew how she was. They are not prone to business with someone like her.” Walker rolls his neck.
We step onto the elevator, and I wait until the door closes. “I don’t like her either, she gives me the creeps.”
“She should, she wants to fuck you.” Walker straightens his tie. “But don’t let it go to your head—she wants to fuck me too.”
I wrinkle my nose. “Yeah, I think she fucks a lot.”
“Oh, she’s been fucked a lot.” He side-eyes me. “The trick is to not let her fuck you.”
I grimace as the doors open to let us off. “Reese isn’t gonna like this.”
“Hell no she isn’t.” He pats my back. “But I get to be the one to tell her.”
That puts a smile on my face. “Sucks to be you.”
“No, I’m good.” He grins devilishly. “She’s a helluva woman when she’s mad.”
I squint, averting my eyes. “Why do I feel as though we’re talking about sex still.”
“Because we are.” He smiles.
I hang my head. “Sex, it’s been a long time.”
“What’s been a long time?” Aksel joins us, giving us fist bumps.
Walker jerks his head my way. “He has blue balls.”
“I thought Charlee was practically living with you?” Aksel’s brows furrow.
Walker strains to look at me. “She is, is she?”
I start walking as they try to keep up. “Am I wrong?” Aksel asks.
“No, she’s there.” I shove my hands into my pockets. “I haven’t figured it out.”
Walker takes a step back. “You haven’t figured what out? She’s a woman, you’re a man. She likes you and, correct me if I’m wrong, but the look on your face tells me you more than like her.”
“You’re not wrong,” Aksel chimes in. I gape at him. “What? It’s written all over you.”
“All over you.” Walker flails his hand in front of his face.
“Have y’all slept together again?” Aksel gets all up in my business, making my mouth hang open.
“Nope, she’s stopped that. Look at that face.” Walker chuckles.
Aksel nods. “But that must mean you haven’t been with anyone since her.”
My head spins between these two. “Hey, assholes. I’m right here.”
“Exhibit H, I, J. You’re here and she’s at your home.” Aksel grins.
Walker eyes me. “Is that true? You’ve haven’t been with anyone else since her?” I look toward heaven to keep that my business.
Aksel covers his mouth. “Yep, that’s it. That’s the look right there.”
“All of the telltale signs.” Walker rubs his chin.
I jump back, gaping at them. “What in the hell are you talking about?”
“Three questions.” Aksel cuts his eyes to Walker. “You have to answer this honestly, dude.”
I’m hesitant. “Hell, I’ll do anything to make this interrogation stop.”
“Do you have anything that belongs to her that she doesn’t know you have?” They stare at me.
“What’s the next question?”
Walker grins. “Have you had sex with any other women after her?”
I twist my mouth as I fold my arms. “Last question.”
“Do you love her?” Aksel smiles.
Walker shakes his head. “If the answer to the first two is yes, you don’t have to answer the last one. Unless, you’re admitting it to her… or yourself.”
I kick at an imaginary rock. “I can’t get her outta my head. It’s like she’s under my skin, and I like it. She’s always right and I hate it, but I like that she’s always right.”
“I’m guessing you haven’t slept together since.” Walker quirks his brow.
“Man, Reese threatened my balls if I hurt her.” I throw my hands in the air. “And…”
“And what?” Aksel leans in.
I look at him and then Walker. “I told her we had to forget it ever happened because all we could be was friends. Just friends as she likes to remind me.”
“Alden, she’s been by your side for a while now. It’s obvio
us to everyone to the point we thought it was official and you hadn’t announced it.” Walker shrugs.
Aksel looks at me. “The easy part is knowing it.”
“So what’s the hard part?”
They answer in unison, “Keeping it.”
A knot forms in my throat. I swallow hard, hoping my words will make it past it. “I think my life is proof enough I can’t keep love. Or people.”
“Alden, the things that happen to you only define you if you allow them to. I’m proof of it, and the fact that love with a good woman can change everything.” Walker sounds so much like Cid right now.
“First of all, you have to be willing to love before you can accept the best parts of it.” Aksel raises his shoulders and lets them fall.
I run my hand through my hair. “I know, they’re all I think about.”
“Is that a problem?” Walker studies me.
“How do I leave them? You know how women are; do you think Charlee will be okay with the way they act? Most importantly, will I still have a chance of keeping Luci if I go on the road?”
Aksel slips his hands in his pockets. “Alden, I’m going to tell you something and I want you to hear me.”
“I’m listening.”
“You’re a good man.” Aksel puts his hand on my shoulder and pins me. “A good man, trust it.”
Walker bumps me with his elbow. “You heard him, sometimes even the best of us need to be reminded.”
I rub my hand over my face. “I’ve got to get it all figured out.”
“You will, don’t doubt.” Aksel holds his fist out, and I bump it.
“I need to head home. The Penningtons are growing weary. I feel it in my bones,” Walker says with a smile.
I shake his hand. “I appreciate ya. I need to get to my girls.”
They side-eye each other. “My girls,” saying in unison as they chide me.
“Assholes.”
I climb into my truck and debate sending her a text. After a minute, I decide not to send one. “I’ll surprise them.”
The drive home, I reflect on the last few months and how I feel about Charlee. I’m still not convinced it’s love; sometimes I think people are so in love with the idea of it that they don’t grab the context of it.
The place is dark when I pull up. Charlee’s car is here, so I know they’re home. I open the front door to find nothing. There’s no sign of them in the kitchen or Luci’s room.
