by Raine Thomas
“So this pain will go away?”
He nodded, his gaze enigmatic. “And you will be put into the standard state of repression.”
She knew what that meant. It meant she would no longer experience the flush of excitement and pleasure she got when she caught Ty training without a shirt on. Her pulse and blood pressure would remain the same regardless of how close he stood to her. She would no longer have to hide her confusing feelings for him with barbed comments and anger…because she wouldn’t have those feelings at all.
Catching his gaze, she whispered, “Ty?”
“Yes?”
“Can we keep this to ourselves?”
The sound of Sam’s—Sem’s voice finally pulled Kyra out of sleep. She blinked a few times against the bright sunlight coming in through the windows. Her gaze moved to the bedroom door, where Ty stood with his back to her. She guessed he was talking to Sem in the hallway, since she had heard her friend’s voice. Their voices were so low that she couldn’t make out what was being said. Judging by the general tone of what she did hear, the two cousins were arguing about something.
“Not now, Sem,” Ty said more forcefully.
When Sem started to protest, Ty stepped back into the room and closed the door on his words. Kyra sat up, wondering what had gotten the two guys so worked up.
“Is everything all right?” she asked.
His gaze jumped to hers. She realized he hadn’t known she was awake. That reminded her about the mental block in place now, which kept him from knowing her every thought.
“Sem is…anxious to see you,” he said, running a hand through his slightly mussed hair. It was more caramel colored in the daylight, she realized. The sunlight reflected off numerous golden highlights mixed in with the brown.
She frowned as his words registered. She was the cause of the argument? That didn’t sit well with her.
“Have I been in bed all day or something?” She looked around but didn’t see a clock.
“You slept for nearly eight hours. It’s almost noon.”
Too bad she felt like she hadn’t slept a wink, she thought. Maybe that was because of all the dreaming. “I think I remembered more stuff last night.”
He moved closer to the bed. “Did you? What stuff?”
She thought about the first memory. “I was asking my mother if I could go outside. She didn’t want me to. I didn’t get to go out much, did I?”
“No. Only rarely, and only in the palace gardens.”
“So I never traveled anywhere outside of the, uh, palace?”
“Not before your lessons began, no.”
“Oh.” She went back through the memory for more details. “What is a megai?”
“To put it into terms humans would understand, a megai is what you might think of as a kingdom or a country. Mynders, for example, come from the Dane megai.”
“So, Dane isn’t a family name, but a name representing your megai?”
“Yes.”
That surprised her. Since Sem and Ty were cousins and shared the name Dane, she had assumed it was a surname.
“Do all Mynders live in the Dane megai?” she asked.
“Many do, but not all. I, for example, live in the palace, which is in the Vawn megai. Sem and a number of other Mynders also live in the palace to protect you and the Guardians. Our families live in the Dane megai, however.”
She frowned. “So you never get to see your families?”
“Of course we do. We aren’t forbidden to leave, and they can always travel to the Vawn megai. Think of it like having family in another state or country here on Earth.”
Her frown eased. “Oh, good. That makes sense. I think I remember that there are Alametrians from many different megais living at the palace.”
“That’s correct. What else did you remember?”
The last dream flashed through her mind, but she didn’t want to talk about that one. “Nothing,” she said a little too quickly. Tossing back the covers, she climbed out of bed. She froze when she felt cool air on her legs. “What happened to my jeans?”
“They’re on the edge of the bathtub.”
“Uh…okay.”
Had she taken them off? She couldn’t remember much after Ty started kissing her. Actually, she remembered a lot of things after kissing Ty…just not from current events.
Tugging at the bottom of her T-shirt, she said, “Well, I’ll get ready and we can go and chat with Sem.”
She didn’t wait for his response, feeling vulnerable in her half-naked state. Once she was in the bathroom, she did what she could to get groomed for the day, beginning with putting her pants back on. She used the toothbrush she had found the night before and tugged her hair back into a ponytail. As she had the night before, she considered hopping in the shower. Thinking of transitioning while naked held her off, though. She made due with an unsatisfactory sponge bath and then headed back out into the bedroom.
Ty didn’t say anything to her when she emerged. She expected him to ask her more about what she remembered, maybe see if she wanted to kiss him again. But he just opened the door and walked out to scout for danger on the way to the kitchen without giving her a second glance.
Why was he suddenly acting so distant? Had she drawn the wrong conclusion about his feelings for her based on the memories that had surfaced? Maybe the kissing had solely been a device to stimulate her memories, and not an act of intimacy at all.
That thought stung like hell.
“Finally,” Sem said, grinning at her as they walked into the living area. He was sitting on the couch watching television. “Sleeping Beauty has graced us with her presence.”
“Ha, ha,” she said with a roll of her eyes.
Sem’s gaze moved between her and Ty. “For a minute there, I thought your Mynder was keeping you all to himself.”
Even though he’d said it in a joking tone, his comment bothered her. She didn’t want to come between the cousins. To distract him, she glanced at the TV.
“When Animals Attack?” she said, giving him a look that said, Really?
Shrugging, he reached into the box of sugary cereal on his lap and stuffed some into his mouth. “What? It’s interesting. And I’m getting in as much TV viewing as I can before we leave. I’ll miss it.”
“Miss it? You mean there’s no TV on Alametria?”
“Nope,” Sem answered, his eyes glued to the show. “No TV, no phones, no personal computers or internet. No electricity either. Everything runs on alternative forms of energy. Alametria is pretty low-tech outside of our interstellar travel and medical equipment. We learned our lesson a thousand or so years ago when AI destroyed half the planet.”
AI? She tried to reason that out. “Artificial Intelligence?”
Sem nodded. “Yep. I figure humans have another hundred years at this pace, give or take. Then they’ll find out the hard way that when it comes to tech, less is more.”
She frowned, looking from him to the TV. Then she shook her head. It was too early for this in-depth conversation.
Sem looked at her when she didn’t reply. Holding up the box of cereal, he shook it. “Want some?”
She hid a yawn behind her hand. “No, thanks. Not that sugar-loaded crap, anyway.”
Snorting, Sem said, “Judging by that yawn, the sugar might help you wake up. I figured you’d be more rested after sleeping in.”
“Yeah,” she said as she walked to the kitchen and opened the pantry door. “Guess I’m still tired after all of the memory retrieval stuff last night.”
“What memory retrieval stuff?”
She decided on an English muffin and pulled the package off the shelf. “Well, Ty wanted to try k—”
No!
Kyra jerked as the thought roared through her mind. The package of muffins flew from her hand. She looked over and caught Ty’s eye. He looked pale, but his expression hadn’t changed.
Sem stood up and hurried over to her. “Are you okay, Kyra? What did he want to try?”
She had no idea how Ty’s thought had entered her mind, but she knew quite clearly that he didn’t want her telling Sem about the kissing. She took a moment to bend down and pick up the muffins to try and collect herself.
“Sorry,” she said in a shaky voice. “I think I’m having a hard time with everything. Every shadow makes me jump.”
Sem didn’t look convinced. Since the kitchen was flooded with daylight and there wasn’t a shadow to be found, she couldn’t blame him. She hunted for the toaster and a plausible explanation.
“I decided to try a form of hypnotherapy,” Ty said. “It seemed to help.”
“Hypnotherapy?” Sem repeated. His expression eased. “That seems like a good idea, actually.”
Kyra thought he sounded grudging in admitting as much, but she wasn’t going to worry about that. At least he bought it.
The real question in her mind was why Ty had panicked when she had been about to tell Sem what really happened. It was a question she intended to put to him the first opportunity she had.
Chapter 16
“Sem, it’s time for another exterior sweep,” Ty said as Kyr finished her muffin and a glass of orange juice at the breakfast table. “I would like you to conduct this one. Fresh eyes will ensure nothing is overlooked.”
His cousin rose from the couch and stretched. “All right. Let me know if you get a signal.”
“Of course.”
He waited until Sem left the house and then turned to Kyr. She set her glass down and met his gaze. Although he tried to read her thoughts, he couldn’t.
Damn it.
“How did you speak to my mind?” she asked.
He hadn’t expected her to be so direct. “I have no idea. That’s never happened before.”
“It hasn’t?”
“No. I can share thoughts with other Mynders like Sem, but not usually with anyone else. I can only assume that I somehow opened up a path to your thoughts last night. If the thought is intense enough, I can apparently communicate it to you.”
She stood up and carried her dishes to the sink. Turning on the water and wetting the dishcloth, she asked, “And why didn’t you want me telling Sem about what we did last night?”
Guilt poked at him, especially because he detected the hurt that she tried to conceal from her voice. He walked over to a window to watch his cousin conduct his search. Keeping his tone level, he replied, “Because a relationship between us is expressly forbidden.”
“What?”
Her gasp had him glancing back at her. She held her plate and the soapy dishrag without regard for the water pouring from the faucet. He walked over to the sink and took over washing for her.
“I am never, under any circumstances, supposed to touch you in the way that I did last night,” he explained.
She didn’t move or bother to rinse her soapy hands, so he turned the spigot so he could clean them for her. Her eyes remained steady on his face as he finished rinsing her glass and setting the dishes in the drying rack on the side of the sink.
“Why?” she asked at last.
“According to the Guardians, such a relationship would prove too distracting for me and potentially put you in harm’s way.”
She dried her hands when he handed her the dishtowel. “That’s crazy,” she said. “I’ve seen you doing your thing. You’re meticulous. Focused would be an understatement.”
“On the contrary, they have reason to be concerned. You do distract me, Kyr.” Stepping closer to her, he reached up to stroke the side of her face. “But it’s a distraction that I welcome.”
Her head tilted into his touch. She reached up to cover his hand with hers. “Ty, I’ve spent the past eight or nine hours remembering most of our past together. Although I don’t understand why or how, since I really was a rude and ungrateful bitch, I know that what we have goes beyond just physical attraction.”
He stopped breathing as he held her earnest gaze. Before he could respond, she continued, “Can’t we just tell them how we feel? Maybe someone else will have to become my Mynder, but at least we could be together. Right?”
Lowering his hand, he shook his head. “You apparently don’t remember how relationships between males and females are formed on Alametria.”
A line appeared between her dark brows. “No. I’m guessing it isn’t a simple matter of two people falling in love?”
In his mind, falling in love was anything but a simple matter. But he let that lie. “No. A relationship match, called an amanti, is made by a female Mynder and must be sanctioned by the Guardians. Only once the Guardians have given their blessing may two Alametrians engage in a romantic relationship.”
“Romantic?” she scoffed. “That doesn’t sound romantic at all. Two people being forced into a relationship with someone they don’t know?”
“I never said the two Alametrians were unknown to each other. Many factors go into a Mynder’s decision about an amanti. Compatibility, amount and quality of social interaction between the pair, physical attributes…”
“Wait a minute,” she said, as though she was just remembering something. “The repression.”
He frowned. “What about it?”
“I had a memory resurface.” Her cheeks turned pink and she avoided his gaze. “I wasn’t going to mention it, but, well, I remembered when we decided to prevent my repression.”
“Ah.” He didn’t react, knowing she was embarrassed. “I see.”
“So how do people—Alametrians—enter into relationships if they don’t feel that kind of attraction to each other?”
“All repression is removed from a couple when the Guardians have given their blessing on an amanti.”
“Oh, that’s right. I remember saying something like that in my last memory. But what about these life lessons we’re all supposed to be learning when we’re old enough? I don’t understand how Alametrians can have really effective lessons if their sexuality is repressed.”
That impressed him. “You’re correct. Some lessons can only be learned by tapping into that part of an Alametrian’s psyche. Your lesson in humility before you came to Earth, for example, would not have been as effective if you hadn’t been attracted to the male who taught the lesson.”
Her eyes narrowed. “Seriously? You’re bringing that up now?”
“My point,” he continued, “is that the repression is eased while an Alametrian is learning those life lessons. Even Sem and Avana had theirs removed before traveling here so that they could interact more naturally with everyone. The repression is reintroduced once an Alametrian returns home. A ritual is performed by a high-level Mynder to ensure the male or female no longer retains any memories tied to specific individuals encountered during their training. This prevents Alametrians from suffering any acute loss if they formed attachments on other planets. The Mynder leaves behind only the knowledge imparted by the lessons. Negative emotion is purged and positive emotion is enhanced.”
She nodded slowly. “The Ruvex Rite.”
“Yes.”
“That sounds like an awful lot of mental and emotional manipulation. It seems to me like it takes an Alametrian’s individuality from them.”
This was boggy ground. The truth was, he happened to agree with her. To say so, however, was the equivalent of treason.
“You feel that way so strongly right now because of the planet we’re on,” he said. “Humans are millennia behind us in terms of evolution. They have only managed to tap into a fraction of their mental abilities, whereas most Alametrians have fully opened their minds. Such advancements come with great responsibility and risk, however. Over time, Alametrians developed the Ruvex Rite to maintain the right balance.”
She made a face. “It still sounds like mind control to me. They make the decisions about what each Alametrian retains from their lessons? What if…what if they decide that I shouldn’t remember our experiences together?”
Sensing her growing alarm, he once again reached out to touch her face. “You have nothing to
fear, Kyr. As your Mynder, I will conduct the Rite for you. I would never remove the memories we share.”
In fact, feeling much as she did on the subject, he didn’t intend to repress anything at all. But he didn’t share that.
She relaxed, reaching up and twining her fingers in the hair at the nape of his neck. A familiar burn started in his forearms as she stood on her tiptoes and brushed her lips against his. The faint taste he got of her wasn’t sufficient in the least, but he knew Sem would be back any moment.
“Is this what you meant by these markings being a constant reminder of your place?” she asked softly, running her hands along his faintly glowing forearms.
“Yes. A penalty for overstepping myself.”
Her expression clouded. “I guess it’s safe to say the Guardians wouldn’t sanction an amanti between us, then.”
Something tightened in his gut. “No. They don’t see me as a suitable match for you. I’m fated to be your protector, nothing more.”
A sound outside the front door had him stepping away from her. He drew on his years of training to subdue the pain and glow of his markings. Kyr blinked rapidly and took a deep breath as the front door opened and Sem strode in.
“Anything to report?” Ty asked.
“As a matter of fact, I’ve been trying to get you to come outside to look at something,” Sem responded with a frown. “You didn’t answer.”
Ty cursed silently. He’d been so intent on Kyr that he hadn’t received Sem’s thoughts. This was exactly why he wasn’t supposed to be involved with her. He saw that she understood, as well, when a guilty flush filled her cheeks.
“Apologies,” he managed to say in a brisk tone. “I was working with Kyr again on memory retrieval. My mind must have been too caught up in that to pick up your thoughts.”
Sem pursed his lips and glanced at Kyr. “Did it work?”
“A little,” she said.
