by Sky Sommers
He might suspect it’s another arranged marriage in the making…and he’s not very wrong.
Out loud he seems to be saying ‘You seem familiar. Have we met before?’
‘Per’aps,’ Ella says. Oh, I hope she does it in the French accent Loretta and I tried to drill into her.
Good, good, keep it up.
Nicholas asks her to dance, saying it’s his privilege to entertain their ‘foreign guests’.
Assumptions. Assumptions are good.
Now flatter him. Get his attention. Be a gentle wallflower.
Wait…what is she doing? Is she stepping on his shoe?
I adjust my binoculars and lean on the parapet.
After Ella has trod on his toes countless times, I see him scanning the crowd. Doubtless to find a less clumsy princess to dance with.
I see Ella backing up and raising the hem of her gown.
Not that again! He’s not going to fall for…
Nicholas takes an interest and during the next slow waltz is studying Ella’s face.
Has he recognised her?
He sways them back and forth, sweeping across the entire ballroom, his gaze never leaving her face and with everyone watching them. Two white doves in a sea of black.
I don’t know where Loretta got the dress, but it looks perfect!
I watch the prince’s mouth. If it goes crooked in a bad way, then he has recognised her and might suspect he’s being tricked. If it crooks in a humorous way, that’s a good sign. At least he has stopped looking at the crowd for a new dance-partner.
Ella asks him to show her the library.
The library?!? But I won’t be able to see, not like I can see into the ballroom.
If I remember correctly, Belle loves to read, maybe Ella is playing on that similarity. The prince must also be a fan of books as he seems to brighten at her request. Or he is using the excuse to drag her away and become better acquainted. They skulk off, looking as thick as thieves. Either way you look at it, it’s good. Most importantly, Ella is still incognito, fully clothed and it’s 11.30PM.
Now, if you can just keep him talking about himself and keep your legs crossed for the next hour, he’ll be hooked and you’ll be gone.
Two white doves in a sea of black.
Ella
Saturday, June 20th
My part is done…now it’s Nick’s turn…
You should have seen their faces when I stepped through the doors, scandalously late and wearing a magnificent white dress in a sea of black! White was supposed to be reserved for the royal family. Jaws dropped, eyes goggled, fans fell.
Attention - secured.
I thought about the things I love, like sunshine and daisies and shoes and dresses and smiled a genuine smile at all of them and at nobody in particular, especially NOT Nicholas.
I curtsied at Belle and the Beast, ‘Your Majesties, it was most kind of you to invite me.’
Belle gave me a once-over and nodded in approval. The king smiled and kissed my hand, ‘Do enjoy yourself, Princess Elizabeth,’ and handed me over to Nicholas. Literally.
Taking my hand, Nick almost rolled his eyes at Belle, doubtless thinking ‘not another potential bride, Mother!’ As he was bowing, he glanced up and almost tripped looking into my eyes. Out loud he said, ‘You seem familiar, Your Highness. Have we met before?’
Please let it be her, I heard him think.
I was so surprised I could hear him that I barely managed, ‘Per’aps,’ in the stupid accent Loretta and grace tried to drill into me. When did I start hearing Nick? Did we connect already back when… or is this because of the baby?
Without the mask, I felt naked.
‘May I have this dance, Princess Elizabeth?’ he asked. ‘It’s only befitting I entertain our foreign guests,’ he said to his parents.
Also, points to Nick for being clever. He probably wanted to see if he has danced with me before. Fortunately, in the shoes Loretta made me wear I stand about two inches taller and move as gracefully as a giraffe on stilts.
When I stepped on his toe - on purpose and for the third time - I think he was about to give up. I apologised and blamed it on the new shoes, raising the hem of my dress for him to sneak a peek. Which he did. He took the spins down a notch and we did much better in the slowest waltz I’ve ever danced in my life. It felt like we were swaying back and forth, except somehow, he managed to traverse the whole length of the ballroom doing it. My puffy dress kept him at arm’s length, so there was no way for him to compare if he had held me close before.
We kept dancing, a white pair of doves swanning in the deep black sea of jealous admirers. Nothing felt like it did at the previous ball. I was getting tired of my fake accent and the limited ‘Per’apses and Oui-s and Non-s.’ So, I begged his forgiveness and asked if the palace had a library. Nicholas perked up and nearly dragged me there. But not before I heard Grace think I should keep him occupied and my legs crossed for another hour so he would be hooked by the time I was gone. She made me so mad, I had to bite my lip so as not to say something.
I know Grace and Belle are worried about their scheme working, but I have feelings, too! It’s not just about tricking or hooking Nick, is it? It’s about my future, my happily ever after!!
To keep him occupied…
What did she think, we were going to the library to read books?
It was a blessing that Grace’s voice in my head was fading the further Nick and I went into the palace. By the time we reached the library, I couldn’t hear her at all, thank the gods. I thought - Grace could get down from the rooftop and mind her own business now!
I was so angry I forgot to panic about lying to Nick.
When I reached for the door handle, he yanked me behind a familiar flower vase and stepped up close. Too close. I felt his breath on my neck.
‘This feels familiar,’ he murmured into my ear. ‘You feel familiar... If only you had honey-coloured hair...’ I heard him mumble as he pulled me by my waist into the room behind us. He closed the twin doors after him and waved his hand about, ‘The library you wished to see, princess.’
‘What if I did have honey-coloured hair, Your Highness?’ I boldly asked.
To the hell with the plan!
Nicholas looked uncomfortable. I can’t tell a stranger, much less a lady that I am searching for another lady, I heard him think.
‘You can tell me. I’m not in the business of telling secrets,’ I told him.
‘And what are you in the business of?’ he furrowed his brow.
‘Reading minds,’ I said. I don’t even know why I blurted it out like that, but I did. Maybe it had something to do with my need to be honest when everybody wanted me to be deceitful.
‘Oh, so you can read any mind?’ He smirked. ‘My mind for instance?’
I shook my head, ‘Not any mind. But yes, I can read yours.’
‘Prove it,’ he said and thought of nothing at all.
‘Neat trick, thinking of nothing at all. Can you teach it to me sometime?’
Sometime in the future. If we have a future. If he falls in love with me again. If…
Nicholas blinked. ‘That proves nothing at all, princess. That might have been an educated guess.’
I rolled my eyes, ‘Fine. When I asked you what if I had honey-coloured hair, you thought it wouldn’t be proper to tell a lady you were looking for another lady.’
His cheeks coloured, ‘You could have deduced that using logic.’
‘Fine. The very first time you saw me tonight when you told me I looked familiar you thought ‘Please let it be her’.’
He thought ‘It’s impossible. I haven’t heard of a gift like that...’
‘A gift like mine? I don’t know anyone with this gift either,’ I replied.
Nicholas looked serious all of a sudden. ‘So,
if you can read my mind, do you know who I’m looking for? Do you know if she’s here? Can you find her for me?’
‘Admirable ardour, Highness. What you should be asking is WHY I can hear your thoughts.’
His brow furrowed, ‘Why?’
‘I can only hear the thoughts of those with whom I have formed an emotional attachment. I either love them,’ he brightened, ‘or hate them. Would you really ask someone who hates you to find your long-lost love?’
‘I never said I’m looking for a long-lost lover.’
Which made me wonder why he was looking for me. Out of a sense of duty? Had Belle told him what her contraption had revealed? Or because he was convinced I had drugged him and he was looking for revenge? Did he hate me completely?
‘And you don’t hate me,’ he took me by both my wrists and looked deep into my eyes.
‘You can tell just by looking at me?’ I asked, feigning mock surprise in an attempt to hide my fear. ‘Have you had much practice with liars, Highness?’
‘At court? More than enough, I assure you. And you’re not lying. Although your pulse is elevated, but that could be from the dancing. Or this titillating conversation we are having.’
I nodded. ‘Very well. If I don’t hate you, then I must...’
‘Love me.’ That sounded almost like a command.
‘And would you ask a woman who is in love with you to help you locate another who is your heart’s desire?’ I whispered, looking down.
He let go of my wrists in an instant.
Ah, bless his heart. There is some decency left in him, after all.
‘I guess not,’ Nicholas said, running his hands through his hair. ‘But if I don’t find her, nobody else will do.’
My heart fluttered and stopped and I was glad he had let go of me.
‘Trust me, I’ve had hordes of women supplied to my bedroom by various courtiers and I suspect also by my parents.’
When Grizelda mentioned the prince has had relations since he was fifteen, I thought maybe one or two mistresses a year, ten maximum. He had said ‘hordes’.
I must have paled because he held up his hand, ‘Let me explain. I now know the difference between physical lust and love. Until a fortnight ago, I had never felt like I do now.’ He looked pained. ‘For the first time in my life, I know the difference between just a bed-sheet tango and genuine affection and I can’t find her. And so it wouldn’t be fair to lead anyone else on, princess. Not even someone as charming as you.’
When I just stood there, taking in his confession, he sighed. ‘Ever since I turned fifteen, I started finding women in my bed come nighttime. Maids, wholesome farm girls, I guess that was part of the practical ‘physical education’ that they don’t teach you at school.’
I think my mouth fell open.
Meanwhile, Nick continued, ‘Father reassured me this was normal and that the lasses were well taken care of. He made sure I used…things he got from the black market…from the Warriors…so no progeny could ensue.’
I thought back to our night together. We didn’t use any…thing. We got carried away. Maybe the contraption Belle had installed at Grizelda’s for that eventuality? Just in case?
‘Soon, the courtiers started sending their willing daughters. A year ago, I stopped having relations altogether after one nasty incident where a married woman demanded I ‘pleasure her’, AFTER she poisoned her first husband to free herself,’ Nick said, looking like he had tasted something vile.
‘Madame Pompadour,’ I whispered.
‘You know?’ He looked stricken when I nodded. ‘I don’t even know why I’m telling you this. I haven’t been with anyone for a year, not after the maids and farm girls all left…well, I guess they were replaced by older servants…ousted to make way for the courtiers’ match-making schemes.’ Nicholas stuck his hands in his pockets. ‘After Madame Pompadour, I told my parents they should better let it be known that any courtier who daredplant their daughter into my bed would be exiled for good. But even with that threat, the attempts didn’t stop… At first, I thought Addy was yet another aristo girl, trying to make herself interesting, and bedding me so she could be queen. Even so, we had such a good time, an understanding... I felt so free in her presence. So, I thought, if there has to be someone permanent, why not her? Maybe if she slept in my bed every night, maybe the offerings would stop…’
I just stood there, frozen. ‘Maybe what they did to you…will benefit your wife…some day…’ I whispered.
Maybe it IS better to know these things than be a bumbling princely idiot in your bed on your wedding night, although the ends justifying such royal means was simply awful!
‘You’re being too kind…’ Nick said as he leaned against the nearest book shelf.
‘Just…honest,’ I said and he looked up.
‘So was she. She was also honest and kind…and I…I made her mine…’ he whispered, closing his eyes.
I blushed, thinking, if he looked at me now, he would realise he was speaking about me. Praying he would look at me.
But he didn’t.
He sighed, and got lost in a daydream as if he was seeing our…encounter in his mind’s eye. ‘It was exhilarating, being the one to initiate things, for once. I am never usually this straightforward…or do the things I did…we did…’ Nick ran his fingers through his hair. ‘Maybe there was something in the wine…I don’t know. At this point, I don’t care. I don’t regret any of it, the part of the evening that I do remember was…magical… Even so, I was prepared for her demands, come morning, but in the morning, she was gone… And I’ve been looking for her far and wide ever since.’
I wanted to tell him ‘You should have looked closer to home, darling. We don’t live that far from the palace.’
Then it registered that Nick remembered everything about that night! He had told the king who had told Grace that he didn’t remember. That he thought I had drugged him! Except I hadn’t and he knew it. Because otherwise, he wouldn’t have been looking for me. I must have gasped.
‘What I loved most was that she saw me for me, you know? And she didn’t want anything from me. Just to be with me.’
I nodded again.
Already then I had seen the good, kind, gentle soul that Nick was. Still is, despite the ‘hordes of women’.
All he ever wanted was to find someone who would accept him for who he is.
All I ever wanted was to find someone who would accept me for who I am.
With my gift and after…everything.
The sad thing was, that girl he was speaking of was gone. Because this girl wanted something from him. Although, if he didn’t want me, I vowed I would leave the kingdom and raise my baby by myself.
‘Again, I don’t know why I’m telling you this. I don’t expect you can help me. No one can. And you can probably read all that information from my mind anyway,’ Nick said and finally looked at me.
‘I can only hear what you think in this present moment we are together, Nicholas,’ I said, dropping the accent.
‘Say that again…’ He looked so hopeful.
‘Nicholas.’
He grabbed a mask from the library wall and put it over my eyes. ‘Again.’
‘Nicholas.’
He stepped closer, pressing the crinoline into my legs until there was no room left between us.
I whispered, ‘Nick.’
‘Addy?’
I nodded and closed my eyes, bracing for his anger. I had run away. Tonight, I had played him for a fool for most of the evening. He must be angry with me. Disappointed, at least.
The mask fell to the floor as I felt Nick tilting my chin. I opened my eyes, drowning in his, like I had done that night. Then his mouth was on mine, devouring me against the book stacks. With me devouring him right back as I looped my hands around his neck.
‘It is you,’ he
breathed ten minutes later when we both came up for air. ‘Why did you run away?’ He said into my hair, holding me tight.
At that exact moment, the clock chose to strike twelve.
I looked over his shoulder at the source of the chimes. It was midnight. ‘And I’m going to run away again. Tonight.’ I slid along the bookshelf, disentangling myself and swiping a few books from the stacks with my skirts. ‘It has to be like this for your reputation and mine. But don’t worry, I’ll leave you a better clue than a bloodied sheet this time. I have to go. I’ll explain later. I promise. Find me.’
He grabbed my hand. ‘No, I’m not losing you again, Addy. Stay with me. I love you. Please stay. Forever. I’ll announce our engagement right now, I swear. If you want me to.’
‘Nick. I do. I want to stay. But if I do and you announce the engagement tonight, everyone will be up in arms about it. They will want to know who I am, whether I am suitable, good for you, good for the kingdom, without an agenda etc. etc. This will stall the wedding. And time is what we don’t have. I have to go. Right now! The shoe will fit only me, no one else. I promise, you will find me.’
‘What shoe? Why don’t we have time? Are you sick?’ He wasn’t letting go of my hand, concern radiating off him.
‘I am on some mornings.’
He blinked and I freed my hand from his grip. ‘I’m not dying, Nick. I love you, too. I’m…we are having a baby, Nick. You’re going to be a father.’
I kissed him quick and bolted. Pushing the double doors open, I turned back to see him frozen and whispered, ‘Find me!’ And then I ran. Down the steps, through the gardens and into the woods, clicking my heels and shedding one shoe when I felt airborne, just as Loretta had instructed, feeling a little fearful about what my life would be like if Nick didn’t come looking for me.
Chapter 31. The Shoes
Grace
‘I forgive you,’ Ella says from the doorway, taking the prince’s hand. At the last minute she turns and I hear her say ‘Thank you’ without opening her mouth.
‘Well, now that that’s over with…’ I say and head upstairs, screwdriver in hand.
