“What do you know about my friends? You don’t know any of them,” I retort.
“I was referring to your family who loves you: Tau, Cole and I,” he corrects me as his face turns blank to hide his emotions.
Stunned, I stammer, “My family? Let’s be real—I never really knew you—any of you and what I do know of you I don’t like! You’ve been lying to me since I met you in high school!”
“You know me, Evie. I was your...” he trails off.
“My boyfriend?” I ask. “See, you can’t even say it now, just like you couldn’t say it when we were in school! You acted like we were sometimes, and then you’d act like I was just some girl you knew.”
“You’ve never been just some girl. I couldn’t tell you what I am because I wasn’t allowed to say it then,” he replies.
“And I’m supposed to believe you because you’ve been so honest with me?” I ask.
“I’ve always been honest with you, except for when I had to keep things from you in order to protect you.”
“Like the fact that you’re an angel?” I say accusingly.
“Yes, like that,” he frowns.
“What else have you kept from me?” I wonder aloud.
“A lot,” he admits with a guilty frown.
“Lucy Clark,” I say, thinking of the very popular and very beautiful girl that Xavier dated after he broke up with me in the summer before our senior year.
“She was an attempt to make you angry instead of sad...because you were really sad—“
“I was sad because you broke my heart when you broke up with me so abruptly and you didn’t even give me a good reason,” I say, pointing my finger at him.
“I told you we were getting too close,” he counters, like that’s a good excuse.
“Being close is a good thing,” I retort with a frown.
“Not when I can crush you. I almost did, so many times,” he says in exasperation. “Tau told me I was losing perspective. He ordered me not to date you.”
“And you listened to him!” I remark with scorn, not wanting to hear his excuses. I was the one who had to watch Xavier walking in the halls at school with Lucy hanging on him. We had been friends since the first day of freshman year and he acted like he didn’t know me. I was nothing—no, I had been less than nothing.
“Tau is your father,” he says in a stern tone. “You’ll have to reconcile yourself to that fact.”
“I realize that, but you’re not. You’re just some random angel who had the sheer misfortune of having to watch over the half-breed,” I reply in a stilted tone.
“Don’t call yourself that!” Xavier says in an angry tone that startles me. “You’re the first of your kind—that alone makes you valiant!”
“What do you want from me?” I whisper the question again.
Xavier’s jaw clenches as the spray of the water crashes loudly against the side of the ship far below. “I want you to know me as more than just a random angel that was assigned to protect you,” he responds.
“Why? Are you saying that it wasn’t random?” I ask in a raspy tone. “Why did you agree to this mission to protect me?”
Xavier hangs his head as he watches the water far below the railing. Rain drips from the sides of his face as he growls, “Would that I could’ve fought for you at Dominion—protected you there. I wouldn’t have been content to destroy just Pagan for you. I would’ve annihilated the entire war council for trying you as a…” he trails off.
“As a freak,” I finish, frowning.
Xavier tips his head back in frustration while a steady stream of Angelic words flows from his lips. It appears to me like he’s speaking directly to Heaven. When he gazes back at me, he’s calmer. “Never demean yourself like that in front of me again. You’re not a freak. You’re exceptional.”
I must look surprised because Xavier’s expression softens. “You don’t know how perfect you are,” he says in a meditative tone.
“I know that I don’t smell like cheese,” I reply. A reluctant smile comes to my lips before he begins laughing.
“That’s a start,” he says. His large hand covers mine on the railing. I withdraw mine and hide it within the pocket of my woolen coat.
Xavier’s hand remains where mine had been as he states, “You’re quarreling with your aspire.”
“We’re fine,” I say, brushing off his segue to pry into my personal life. My eyes shift to the swells of the sea.
Feeling the weight of Xavier’s stare, I glance at him as he says, “You needed him…when you were alone…when we…when I…” he trails off again, sounding like he’s struggling to find words.
“Yes, I need Reed,” I agree. “He helped me when I couldn’t help myself—when no one else would.”
“He has earned your respect,” Xavier says, his knuckles becoming whiter as they tense on the railing.
“He has earned my devotion,” I correct him. My eyes widen when his fingers bend the metal of the railing with a crunching sound.
Xavier closes his eyes, like he’s fighting some internal demons. He lets go of the railing. “I can see why he would merit your loyalty, but it was his duty to assist you. You’re Seraphim, while he is a Power—” Xavier begins.
“You’re wasting your time explaining angel rank to me because I find it a meaningless concept,” I reply with narrowing eyes.
“When did you become so unreasonable?” he asks. “It’s not meaningless when you consider that what he did for you was nothing less than his job,” Xavier shoots back as if his point is important in the least, which it isn’t to me.
“Protecting me was Reed’s job?” I ask Xavier in a tone that implies he’s insane.
He nods arrogantly. “Yes, every divine Power you encountered should’ve protected you.”
“All of them?” I ask in a calm tone.
“Yes,” he affirms.
“But, that’s not what happened,” I say with my eyebrow quirking.
“No,” he agrees grimly.
“You’re aware that angels mostly wanted to kill me?” I ask matter-of-factly.
“I am now,” he counters with his eyebrows drawing together in a black look.
“How did you find out?” I ask out of morbid curiosity.
“Dominion gave us a report when we returned and began searching for you—” he starts to say.
“You had to search for me?” I interrupt to ask him derisively. “Why? Didn’t you just say that you came from Paradise?”
“Yes,” he affirms.
“Then shouldn’t you have known where I was? What I’ve been doing? How things were going? Don’t you guys do recon? Have a plan?” I ask, finding his answers to be suspect.
“Where you’re concerned, it doesn’t work like that—information regarding you is highly guarded. I’m not omnipotent and I’ve been deliberately kept uninformed about your work here—”
“Why?” I ask, interrupting him again.
“Because I wasn’t allowed to be part of the equation again until now,” he replies, attempting to sound civil, but anger leaks into his tone.
“Okay, let’s say I believe you,” I say skeptically, which makes him frown at me again.
“Are you questioning my integrity?” he asks in a stern tone.
I hold up my hand to ebb the irritation caused by my last comment. “Fine—you didn’t know where I was or what I was doing. So, you went to Dominion for help?” I prompt him to continue.
He relaxes a little, but his jaw remains tense when he says, “Yes, we sought council with Dominion, and then…” he trails off, turning his back to the ocean, he leans against the bent railing to look at the ship behind me.
“And then what?” I ask.
“And then Tau and Cole had to stop me from tearing Gunnar apart,” Xavier says in a dark tone as his arms cross over his chest.
My mouth falls open at the mention of Gunnar’s name. Gunnar is the Power who was against me in my trial at Dominion—Pagan’s special friend on the w
ar council. “Why would you do that?” I ask, still not comprehending him at all.
“Because Gunnar made your binding ceremony with Reed a realistic course of action,” he replies in a sullen tone.
“And you don’t approve of my aspire?” I ask, not sure if I find him amusing or offensive.
“No,” he retorts through gritted teeth.
“Why not?” I ask with growing anger, decidedly offended.
“You owe Reed nothing,” Xavier replies in a bitter tone, “certainly far less than the forever that you promised him.”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about, Reece,” I retort, using his last name to sever some of the familiarity between us.
“Reece…Reed…isn’t that a silly coincidence?” he asks, his mouth twisting in a grim smile that neither reaches his blue eye nor his green one.
“What are you talking about?” I ask while my mouth goes dry and dread creeps over me like a cold sweat.
“You don’t remember what I’m talking about,” he replies in an intense tone, while he points his finger at me. “And you bound your heart and soul to Reed without even knowing—” He doesn’t finish, but clamps his teeth together tightly. Slowly, he drops the finger he’d been shaking at me.
Knowing that my face has gone from flushed to pale, I ask, “Without even knowing what, Xavier?” The need to hold my breath is almost irresistible as I wait for him to answer me.
He pushes away from the railing while saying, “I’ll take care of it.” He begins to stride away from me toward the entrance of the ship.
“You’ll take care of what?” I ask his broad, retreating back.
“Everything,” his response drifts back to me.
I allow him to take five more steps toward the interior of the ship before I cast my spell. Xavier stops abruptly, brought up short as he bumps into the invisible wall of energy I created in front of him.
“Evie!” he growls as he turns to look back at me. He rubs his nose like he would if he had just run into a closed door.
“I’m sorry, but your last comment sounded eerily like a threat to me. What did you mean when you said that you’d take care of everything, Xavier?” I ask calmly.
He just glares at me before he takes a few steps in my direction. I flick my wrist and his forward progress is halted as he collides with another invisible wall. “Reverse your spell,” Xavier demands.
I take a step back in response to his anger. “Answer the question,” I reply.
“No,” he rejects stubbornly.
“What did you say?” I ask, before closing my eyes and whispering lyrical words to myself.
When I open them, I slowly move my hand laterally. Xavier’s eyes widen as he stumbles sideways. He pushes back against the moving energy that continues to edge him toward the railing of the ship. As he resists my magic, I feel the sheer force of his strength as he literally pushes back. It causes some of the power to surge at me, stinging me inside. “Last chance, Xavier,” I grunt, forcing him closer to the side of the ship.
When he shakes his head “no,” I drive both my hands sideways in the air, pushing him to the railing.
Xavier holds on tight to it. “Evie,” he growls my name, causing goose bumps to break out over my skin.
“Sorry, I can’t hear your answer,” I respond with faux calm, cupping my hand to my ear.
Xavier doesn’t respond, but instead, he lets go of the railing before leaping up onto it. Poised above me, his wings spread wide as he flies straight up when he finds the weakness in my magic; my wall has no ceiling.
“Uh oh,” I breathe. Searching the sky to locate where Xavier went, I quickly conclude that I’ve lost him. “Not good,” I mutter clenching my teeth in fear.
Defensive strategies pulse through my mind. I react to the first viable solution that presents itself. Concentrating, I crouch down on one knee as a hundred of my clones explode from me; the perfect replicas stand on the deck like images in a house of mirrors, camouflaging me from the menace stalking me from the sky.
I wait a few moments before I decide that I’m better off inside the ship. As I inch forward toward the companionway, I send my clones to wander around ahead of me, but I pause when Xavier materializes on the deck twenty yards away.
Dripping wet from the rain and thoroughly pissed off, he wipes his mouth with the back of his hand while his huge, red wings move restlessly. I attempt to adopt a serene expression in order to blend in better with my clones, but my breathing is coming out in soft pants that I find hard to control.
Sniffing the air like a wolf, Xavier growls low, causing my heart to speed up and lodge somewhere in my throat. While his eyes scan all the clones on the deck to my left, I stand perfectly still and watch water drip from his chin onto his now bare chest. My knees weaken as his eyes drift to mine and then narrow when they lock on.
Xavier stretches his arms out wide from his sides as he walks negligently toward me. Each clone that he touches on his path to me swirls like fairy dust in the air, disappearing in winding billows of smoke, but he never even glances at them because his eyes never leave mine.
When he reaches me, I’m weak with fear. I don’t even struggle when he grasps the lapels of my pea coat, pulling me the last few inches toward him.
“How did you know which one was me?” I ask him weakly.
“I know your heart,” he replies. Pulling me up to him, he kisses me tenderly, his lips a plea against mine. Then, he whispers sadly against my mouth, “Remember me.” His grip eases on my lapels and he reluctantly lets me go.
“Don’t ever kiss me again,” I say as I look in his eyes. “This isn’t high school. I’m not in love with you anymore. I’m not the same girl—”
“I’m not talking about high school. Remember me,” he says again as he looks into my eyes with his hands holding my shoulders.
Too stunned to react for a moment, I just stare up at him before a flood of color rushes to my cheeks. “Remember you? Don’t tell me that you were my soul mate, too,” I say in a strange, choked voice.
“No,” he replies in an equally strained tone. “You only get one soul mate—human. I’m an angel.”
“Oh,” I murmur, exhaling deeply, “then...you’re saying, what? That we knew each other…before...when we were…” Using my index finger, I point up toward the sky.
Sadness enters his eyes as he gazes at me. “I wasn’t your soul mate in Paradise, Evie…I was your angel,” Xavier replies.
“Xavier…that’s not funny,” I stutter.
“I assure you, Evie, there is nothing I find less amusing,” he replies with a grim expression as his hand reaches up to cup my cheek.
“Xavier, you have no binding mark on you,” I say, pointing to his chest.
“We said we’d wait until this was over—until we return together to Paradise,” he answers.
“I can’t hear this right now,” I say while panic makes my heart beat out of control. Placing my hand on his chest, I try to push him away, but he doesn’t move except to cover my hand with his own. I focus on it. Strong, I think.
“This isn’t going away, Evie. I’m not leaving you again,” he says, sounding resolved.
“You have to go away!” I reply in a plea, not looking at his face. “I have an aspire! You’re too late.”
His hand tightens over mine. “The binding with Reed was a commitment exacted under duress.”
“No,” I reply, shaking my head, “I wanted Reed.”
“It was coercion,” he counters.
“It was free will!” I say plainly. Xavier’s jaw tightens as his frown deepens.
“You haven’t had free will since I saw you last,” he replies. “Everything after that has been survival—compulsion—force,” Xavier says while his fingers curl around mine.
“Who else knows about this?” I ask, feeling the heat of his fingers warming mine.
“About us?” he asks, and I blanch and nod. “Tau, Cole, Phaedrus—” he says, and he smiles when my eyes sh
oot to his in surprise.
“Phaedrus knows? How long has he known?” I ask.
“I spoke to him at Dominion. I needed answers and…his council,” Xavier admits.
“And he advised you to tell me that we were friends before we came here...forget high school, I mean, before high school...umm...before I was born?” I ask as I worry my lower lip in concentration.
“We were more than friends in high school, and yes, we were much more than friends before Earth, but…no, he didn’t advise me to tell you,” he replies. Holding my fingers in his, he brings them to his lips and kisses them.
“Don’t,” I say, pulling my hand from his. “What did Phaedrus say?” I ask, needing to hear Phaedrus’ opinion. Phaedrus is a Virtue, not to mention the angel who performed the binding rites between Reed and me.
“He has his philosophy…and I have mine,” Xavier states cryptically.
“What’s his philosophy?” I counter.
“You are as tenacious as ever,” he smiles.
“Xavier,” I growl at him while he tucks a wisp of my hair behind my ear.
“Time,” he responds. “He thought that you might need time to know me again—”
“THAT WAS GOOD ADVICE!” I scold him.
“No,” he objects, “you’ve been running wild on your own without me. You’ve had to keep moving just to stay alive. I need you to know that I’m here for you…and why. I need you to know me again—that it was your plan for me to be here with you.”
“Why should I believe you or trust you ever again? If what you’re telling me is true, then that means you left me here alone,” I accuse as my voice turns raw with emotion, for which I can’t account.
“I hope that you never learn the exacting toll of being ripped apart like that,” he replies quietly. Pain registers in his eyes as his hands close around mine. “To ache from the knowledge that I may never hold you again—to count the moments, like grains of sand, while we were parted only to escape the sky and find that you still only know me as a boy from school…” He trails off. His eyes search mine for any glimmer of recognition from me.
Incendiary (The Premonition Series (Volume 4)) Page 24
