When she asked him in the back of the ambulance if he really didn't remember her, he avoided the question. They were far from strangers. When he asked her last name and she answered, she didn't miss the change in his expression. She couldn't tell if it was sadness or anger. There was no way she wanted to have to explain her marriage to him. It was the second biggest mistake she had made. The only good things that came from her marriage were her children. She loved them very much. They should have been his children. He was the one she thought of every moment of every day. Her life was full of regrets.
She finally moved back home to be close to her parents. It had been twenty-five years. She figured it was safe to return. She managed to avoid running into him or seeing anything about him for two years before that night. When her mom asked her about being back, she told her that her feelings were long over and she would be fine. That was probably the biggest lie she had told herself. The second she knew it was him, she was done. Her world was spinning, and she couldn't stand it. All of her mistakes came back to her. She knew John probably hated her for not believing in them and going with him. If he knew what she did when he left, he would never forgive her.
“Are you in a lot of pain ma'am?” the paramedic asked her.
She had totally forgotten that she wasn't alone. There were tears running down the sides of her face.
“I'm fine,” she said. “I just saw someone tonight that I hadn't seen in a really long time.”
When they got to the hospital, she just wanted to go home. Her head hurt, and she winced each time they poked and prodded her. She sat waiting for them to take x-rays to be sure everything was okay. Her head was pounding. They gave her some medicine and stitched up one of her gashes. The rest of her cuts and scratches would heal on their own.
Her head was back and her eyes were closed when she heard a gasp.
“Are you okay, mom?” Kelly asked.
Her daughter hurried to her side and held her hand.
“I will be once I get home,” Sandy said with a laugh.
“What happened?”
“I'm not sure. Someone hit me from the side. I don't know much. There were lights and sirens everywhere. I couldn't see the other cars. The officer said there were three cars involved.”
“When can you leave?” Kelly asked.
“I'm waiting to make sure everything is okay with my head and neck. I'll be able to leave after that.”
Sandy felt bad for scaring her daughter. It wasn't her job to take care of her mom.
“Thank you for coming,” Sandy whispered. “When he asked me who to call, I said you. I hope that's okay.”
“Of course it is,” Kelly answered. “You're coming back to my house tonight. The kids would love to see you, and I want to make sure everything's okay. I don't want you alone tonight.”
“I'll be fine,” Sandy responded.
“I don't think so,” Kelly said, as she put her hand up to stop her mother from protesting. “You're going to my house.”
Sandy let out a sigh as she closed her eyes again. When the doctor spoke, she jumped.
“I didn't mean to startle you,” the doctor said.
“It's fine,” Sandy said. “I must have fallen asleep.”
“You're okay to leave. Everything was fine with the x-rays. Get some rest and make sure you take the medicine we give you. It will help with the pain. You need to stay home for a couple of days. I would rather you not be alone. If anything happens or you feel any worse, come back in.”
She got the prescription and her papers for release. Her daughter took her home with her and got her settled in the guest room. The kids were sleeping, and she was looking forward to seeing them in the morning. Hopefully her head would feel better by then. Once her daughter left the room, the events of the night hit her hard. Tears streamed from her eyes, and all she could think about was John. Exhaustion took over as she fought to keep her eyes from closing.
There were days that sleep was what she wanted most. That was when she was able to be with the man she truly loved. He still invaded her dreams most nights, and that night was no exception. It felt so real. It always did.
The feel of him touching her sent shivers down her spine. His hands were big and rough. He was the sweetest most caring man, but in the bedroom, he was someone else. They were high school sweethearts. She was his first, and he was hers too. From the first time they were together, he had a power over her. When he touched her, there were fireworks. Just his voice was enough to make her come. She knew there was no man in the world that could make her feel the way he did. They were young teenagers in love then, and she couldn't imagine what it would be like to be with him as a man. Her dreams were always of the young John, but that night was different. As she drifted off to sleep, it was the John she had seen just hours before that entered her dream. It was one she never wanted to wake up from.
Chapter 6
John's body shot up from the bed. His heart was racing, and he lifted his hand to wipe the sweat that was pouring down his forehead. He hadn't had a dream like that in years. His blankets hit the ground, as he got out of bed. Release, he thought. That was all he needed. His cock was rock hard under his boxers. That dream was more intense and real then any he had experienced in years. What the fuck, he thought.
He turned on the shower, as he let his boxers fall to the floor. Making sure the water was boiling hot, he stepped under the stream and closed his eyes. The water poured over his head and ran down his aching body. He must have worked out harder than he thought the night before. His hands rubbed the muscles in his arms and chest. Soaking up the feel of the heat on his skin, he put one hand on the wall and the other on his shaft. With his eyes closed, he took his hand up and down his cock. She was all he could think about as he stroked himself. He wanted her so badly. It didn't matter that she had let him walk away or that she had moved on with her life. He didn't care. John wanted her more than ever. All he could think about was her long, soft legs and how perfect her thighs felt against his lips. Her hair was long and brown, and her eyes were big and beautiful. They were such a dark brown. She still had the exact same beauty. He thought about looking into her eyes, as he held tight around his dick. Her lips were plump and perfect. He pictured himself grabbing the back of her and claiming her mouth. His tongue would thrust into her mouth and take ownership of what was his. She was his. He stroked his cock harder and faster than he had in so long. Thoughts of taking her against the wall of his shower entered his mind as he stroked even faster. His breathing was rapid and his heart was beating so fast. He roared out loud as his cum shot from his cock over and over. With his head against the wall, he waited for his breathing to slow.
Finished with his shower, he knew he had to get out of the house. She was driving him insane. One sight of her, and he was a fucking mess. He grabbed his phone and opened a new text to his brother's wife.
John: Are you home? Can I stop by for the cheesecake before my brother eats it?
Julie: I'm home. Come on by. Your brother went into the office today. We can sit around and talk shit about him.
John: I wouldn't miss it. On my way.
He threw on a pair of jeans and pulled a t-shirt over his head. Julie would help keep his mind off of Sandy. It would be nice to hang out with her for a bit. He walked into the kitchen to a delicious smell when he got to her house.
“What smells so good in here?” he asked.
“I figured you might want some real food before you eat cheesecake. I'm making soup. Is that okay?” she asked.
“Of course,” he said, as he hugged her. “I love eating all the food you women cook. Other than that, I always eat on the road. It's nice to have real food sometimes. I'm glad all the guys are finding women that know how to cook. It works out nicely for me. I don't have to hear any bitching while still getting the good food.”
“We don't bitch,” she said with a laugh.
“I'm just playing,” he said.
John sat down at one of the c
hairs while she finished. He had his head in his hands for a moment.
“Are you okay?” she asked. “What's going on? You seem different.”
“I'm fine,” he said.
“Ethan's worried about you too,” she said. “He said you need to get laid. He wants me to set you up with someone I know.”
“He doesn't need to worry about me,” John answered. “I'm just glad he's okay.”
“He said you saved his life, and he owes you the world,” she said. “I know what you told me. He's told me a lot as well. I wish I knew more. I try not to bring the past up. I know it makes him uncomfortable. I just want to know more about what he went through as a child.”
They were both deep into eating the soup she made when John looked up at her.
“He was in a bad place. When I got the call that they were going to put him in foster care, I couldn't let it happen. I was nineteen, but I knew I had to be there for him. The first time I saw him in dirty, old clothes, my heart broke. I couldn't believe my dad could be that big of an ass. Don't get me wrong, I knew he wasn't the best person. I just didn't understand how he could let that happen. I was never going to let him suffer again. I didn't care what I had to do.”
They sat in silence while they finished eating. Julie got up and got them each some cheesecake. They walked out back and sat on the deck.
“I know I joke around a lot. It's easier for me than showing my stress. I care about you, John. I'm so happy Ethan had you. You can talk to me. I won't say anything. I know something's bothering you.”
“You remember at the shower when you asked me why I was still a cop and didn't go off and enjoy my life?”
“Yes,” she said. “We were talking about the money your dad left you.”
“It was because of Ethan. I walked away from the only woman I have ever loved, and she let me. He was my life and family, and I had to protect him. I pushed forward for him. He wanted to prove that he could do everything for himself without any of our dad's money. I had to see him finish that goal. He scared the shit out of me with his behavior. I was so worried that something was going to happen to him. I needed his life to be great after the shit he had been through before. I didn't have the childhood he did. My dad took care of me. I knew I needed to always keep him safe. He was a grown man, but that didn't make a difference. He did stupid stuff. There was a lot of feelings built up in him.”
John took a deep breath. Julie quietly watched him.
“He's all I have been concerned with for twenty-seven years. Now he has you. I'm happy that you two have finally admitted what I've known for years. I don't know if you know what I mean. I know he's okay now. You'll take care of him. I don't have to check up on him anymore. I'm so happy for you two. I'm just not sure what to do now.”
“We still need you,” she said.
“I know,” he said. “It's different now.”
“Why don't you want love?” she asked.
“I just don't.”
“Tell me about her.”
“Who?” he asked.
“The woman you loved. What was she like?” Julie asked.
He shook his head no, as he looked down at his empty plate. He hadn't even realized he was eating.
“I'm taking a couple of weeks off,” he said. “I think I'm going to take a long vacation and figure out what I want to do with myself.”
“Where are you going?” she asked.
“I'm not sure yet,” he said. “I'm going to figure it out fast though. I just want some time to myself to relax and have fun. I was thinking Vegas or an island. How have you been?”
“I'm okay,” she said.
He titled his head and looked at her.
“I'll be much better once we go back to court. I'm so afraid they are going to let him out.”
A few tears slid down her cheek, and John knelt down in front of her.
“That's not going to happen, Julie,” he said. “We are all going to be there with you through his. You know that.”
“I still worry about it,” she said.
They sat silent for a few minutes. He held her hands in his.
“It's so strange how you and Ethan grew up in two totally different worlds, but you're both so similar.”
“What do you mean?” he asked.
He knew she was just trying to get their conversation off of her and onto him.
“You're both so closed off about stuff. You guys keep so much buried inside of you. He's getting better about talking. A little more comes out here and there. Maybe one day I'll be able to get you to talk to me. I know you have a lot going on in there.”
She was pointing to his heart.
“You can't let one person ruin your views on love. If I had done that, I wouldn't be with Ethan.”
John stood up and walked his plate into the house. He was done talking and ready to go. Julie didn't push for him to say anything else.
Chapter 7
Sandy woke up the next morning with a pounding headache. Her grandchildren were up and bouncing around the house. She walked out of the guest room with a smile plastered on her face. Her medicine helped pretty quickly, and for that she was relieved. The kids played around her and sat on her lap. Her daughter helped her look online for a used car. They found one that was pretty decent and cheap. Most of her money each month went to rent. She had only been on her own a few months, and it was tougher than she thought it would be. It didn't matter how hard she had to work, she was going to make it without help. She put up with enough the previous twenty-seven years from her husband. There was no way she was going back for more.
Her daughter and son-in-law picked up the car she found later in the evening. Sandy was so grateful for their help. She wasn't supposed to drive or do anything that day. Her boss knew she needed a couple of days off, but she was eager to get back to work. Sitting around all day gave her way to much time to think about her life and John. She knew she hurt him so long ago. It was hard for her. She wanted to know that he moved on and had a family that loved him, but selfishly, she wanted him to still care about her. It wasn't right, but she couldn't help how she felt. Just seeing him for one moment took her back to the wonderful, happy times they had together.
The next morning, her daughter took the kids to preschool. She told Sandy she would pick up the police report on her way back. Sandy still wasn't feeling perfect and wasn't sure if she wanted to run into John again. She had mixed emotions about everything. If she made a habit of seeing him, she knew she would ultimately have to tell him what she did after he left. That would not be a good thing, and she was sure he would hate her. She didn't want to admit to her mistakes. He was better off not knowing.
***
John heard the front door open, as he typed in the information he needed to finish the report he was working on. Paperwork was a major pain for him. He wasn't someone who wanted to sit behind a desk and was glad that he rarely needed to.
When he looked up, his breath caught in his chest. His feet were frozen in place, and he felt like he was losing his mind. It wasn't her. He needed to get his shit together. She looked just like her but younger. Was he seriously losing his mind? Was everyone starting to look like her in one way or another? He really did need a vacation.
The woman cleared her throat and pulled him back to reality. She gave him a strange look as she watched him. He stood up and walked to the counter.
“Can I help you?” he asked.
Breathe, John, he thought to himself.
“Yes,” she began. “I need to get a copy of a police report, so I can show it to the insurance company.”
“Sure, no problem,” he said with a smile.
Stop freaking the poor girl out, he told himself.
“You're name?” he asked. “I'll need to see your license.”
“Kelly,” she said. “I wasn't the one in the accident. It's for my mother.”
She dug through her purse and handed him her license.
“Your mother's name?” he as
ked.
He knew damn well who her mother was, but he didn't want her to know that.
“Sandy Robinson,” she answered with a smile. “Sandra, sorry.”
He shook his head as he took the license and walked away. John sat down at the computer and began to type. The address on the girls license was different than the one Sandy had given him at the accident. He avoided looking at anything about her after that night. There was no way he wanted to know any more about her marriage. As he looked at the girl's license for her address, he noticed her birthday. She was twenty-six. What the fuck, he thought? John felt his blood boil and was sure his face was turning red. He became more furious as he continued typing.
“Are you okay?” Kelly asked.
He shook his head.
“Just getting a copy for you,” he answered.
John was a calm man most of the time. He tried his best to never let his temper show. His friends always said he was shy and quiet. He liked it that way. John usually sat back and took in the behavior of everyone around him. He wasn't one to draw attention to himself. It was more like him to fade into the background. The opposite of his father. That was his goal. He never wanted to be like him.
He printed off some papers, walked over the printer, and grabbed the report. John walked over and set it on the counter in front of her. Then, he handed her back her license.
“This should be everything you need. It shows that the accident was not your mom's fault. She was hit when someone ran the light. Her car is in the impound yard. You should have the insurance check it out quickly, so you can junk it or sell it before the fees add up. I'm pretty sure it was totaled.”
“My husband went with me yesterday to pick her up a used car. I'll get her car out of there as fast as I can.”
“No hurry,” he said. “I just don't want you to waste money. Is she feeling better?”
Kelly looked at him and smiled.
“Yes,” she said. “I'm just glad she's okay. I don't know what I would do without her. She's my best friend and very good to my kids. I couldn't deal with my brother alone. Were you at the accident?”
Rescue of Love (Bachelor Billionaire #4) Page 3
