by Fay Keenan
‘I’ll go and phone Mum,’ she said. Then she paused. ‘Gran…’
‘Yes, darling?’
‘You said that Barney got into an altercation with another dog. Was it one he’d met before? I mean, it’s just not like him to respond like that.’ Weimaraners were known for their liveliness, especially when called upon to be protective of their owners, but not for impulsive acts of aggression. Sophie couldn’t remember the last time the dog had acted up in public. On or off the lead, he was the perfect gentleman.
Lily hesitated, and Sophie immediately clocked the expression that flickered across her face, although the instant it did, Lily attempted to hide it.
‘What is it, Gran?’ Sophie said gently. ‘You can tell me. If there was another dog involved, it ought to be reported.’
Lily shook her head. ‘If I thought anything would come of it, I’d do something. But it won’t. I know it won’t.’ She couldn’t quite meet Sophie’s gaze. ‘It’s better that it’s just left alone.’
‘How can you say that, when you’re lying here in a hospital bed?’ Sophie said more loudly than she meant. Seeing Lily’s most unaccustomed look of alarm, she apologised. ‘It’s just that I’m so angry that this caused you so much pain.’
‘It’s really not that bad,’ Lily replied, a trace of the old wryness back in her voice. ‘And you’ve been telling me I should slow down for ages.’
‘This isn’t quite what I meant,’ Sophie said, taking one of Lily’s cool hands in hers. ‘I was thinking about maybe having more holidays.’
‘Well, perhaps this’ll be just the break I need; no pun intended.’ Lily smiled.
‘But that still doesn’t change the fact that there’s a potentially aggressive dog out there who could do this to someone else,’ Sophie said, not to be derailed from her line of argument. ‘What if it’s even worse next time? What if you and Barney meet this dog again? Are you sure you’ll be able to hold him?’
‘Look, I know you think that Barney’s too strong for me these days, but he, like me, is getting on a bit now. This was completely out of character for him.’ Lily looked at her granddaughter again. ‘And I’m grateful that you and Alex are stepping in to help with him while I’m in this… mess.’
‘You know it’s no bother,’ Sophie said, wondering how she was supposed to feel about the you and Alex reference. It wasn’t as if they were a couple, after all, this afternoon on the bench notwithstanding. ‘I’m just worried about you, that’s all. And you still haven’t told me who the other owner was.’
The pause was so long that even between Lily and Sophie it verged on the uncomfortable. ‘Well,’ Lily said, when neither could bear it any longer, ‘I suppose you’ll find out through the grapevine soon enough anyway.’
‘Who was it, Gran?’ Sophie’s voice was gentler this time.
‘It was Mark, and his dog Jimmy.’
Sophie felt her stomach flip. ‘What?’
‘Now you can see why I’d rather we moved on,’ Lily said. ‘You’ve only just got him out of your life, and I’ve absolutely no desire to be the reason you come into contact with him again. So, I’m asking you nicely, Sophie, to let this go and move on.’
‘How can I let it go, Gran?’ Sophie asked incredulously. ‘When you’re lying in a hospital bed? What on earth happened?’
Lily heaved a huge sigh. ‘I’d taken Barney out for his usual midday walk, and we were just on our way back up the high street. He was pretty shattered, since Alex had taken him out early that morning anyway, but I wanted to get out and get some fresh air, so I thought I’d take him for a quick run up the Strawberry Line. Anyway, I was about a quarter of a mile from home when I saw Mark and Jimmy coming up the road. You know how small dogs can react to Barney.’ Jimmy was some strange mixture of several aggressive small breeds, and had the temper to match.
‘Like small men,’ Sophie said with a bleak smile. ‘Something to prove.’
Lily grinned briefly. ‘Something like that. Anyway, I was going to cross over to the other side of the road but traffic was busy and there were those blessed parked cars all along the side by the zebra crossing, so I couldn’t get over in time. Mark was jogging with Jimmy, who was off his lead, and he had his headphones in, so he didn’t spot us until he was nearly on top of us. Jimmy’s aggressive at the best of times, and as he got closer to Barney he started to snarl. Well, poor old Barney didn’t know what to do with himself. My fault really, I should have taken him straight out of the way, but I couldn’t move quickly enough to avoid him. Before I knew it, Jimmy had gone for Barney’s neck, and Barney was trying to shake him off. He totally forgot it was me and not Alex on the end of the lead, I think, and that was when I ended up on the pavement.’
‘And where was Mark during all this?’ Sophie asked.
‘He’d jogged past without batting an eyelid, but when he heard the commotion, he turned round, too late to see what had actually happened. He did come back and help me up, but he caught the tail end of the altercation, the part where Barney’s hackles were up and he was trying to pick Jimmy up by the scruff of the neck, and assumed it was Barney who’d started it. At the time I thought I was all right, but by the time I got home I realised I was hurt more badly than I’d thought, and that was when I phoned my GP, who immediately called an ambulance.’
‘So, Mark walks away, with that aggressive sod of a dog, thinking Barney caused it all.’ Sophie sighed. ‘Figures. He always blames everyone else for everything.’
‘I don’t want you to do anything,’ Lily said. She suddenly looked very old, and very, very tired. ‘You’ve only just moved on from what happened between you and Mark, and I won’t be the cause for you two having to speak again. There’s no major harm done. I’ll be back on my feet in a few days and Barney’s fine apart from a puncture wound on his neck. It’s not worth pursuing.’
‘You might think that now, but what if this happens again?’ Sophie asked.
‘We’ll worry about that some other time,’ Lily said. ‘But for the moment, my darling, I’m telling you to let it go.’
Sophie knew better than to argue with an elderly woman in a hospital bed, but inside she was seething. As if Mark hadn’t done enough to screw up her life, now he’d managed to hurt her grandmother, too. Why was it that some people could just sail through life, hurting others without a second thought, and those who were caught in the crossfire came off worst? Feeling angry with him, rather than hurt, for the first time, she thought again about what a lucky escape she’d had when they’d split up.
16
After she’d phoned her mum with the latest from Lily’s consultant, and convinced her that she didn’t need to jump on the next plane out of Marseille, and then convinced Lily that she really did need to stay put until the doctors told her she could leave, Sophie headed wearily back from Weston General Hospital. Her cottage felt charmless and empty, and Sophie was definitely in need of some company but she didn’t fancy parking herself on a bar stool at The Stationmaster all night and drowning her sorrows. Just as she was reconciling herself to another Netflix box set and Nutella on toast, her mobile rang.
‘Hi.’ Alex’s voice was gentle, concerned. ‘Is it a good time?’
Sophie felt her throat constrict with tears at his tone. ‘I’m back home, if that’s what you mean.’
There was a pause. ‘Are you OK?’
‘Not really.’
‘You shouldn’t be on your own.’
‘I’ve got the cat.’ Sophie gave a shaky laugh. ‘Although she’s pretty pissed off that she hasn’t been fed yet, so she’ll probably sulk on my bed all evening.’
Alex laughed gently. ‘That’s not quite what I meant.’ There was a pause. ‘Look, why don’t I bring Barney over to keep the cat company and we can talk about how we’re going to stop your grandmother from doing any more damage to herself when she gets out of hospital?’
Sophie’s heart began to beat faster. ‘I’d like that.’ She sniffed. After all, it did feel as though
they had a bit of unfinished business from the bench on the downs that afternoon, although that now felt like a lifetime ago.
‘Do you have a favourite bottle of wine that I can pick up from Kelli’s place?’ Alex asked, his tone still soft. ‘That’s if you’d like me to.’
Sophie smiled. ‘That would be great. I’m less of a wine connoisseur than Matthew, though, so anything bone dry and fizzy would be great.’
‘Consider it done,’ Alex said.
As she ended the call, Sophie wondered if, had circumstances been different, she’d now have been racing around like a blue-arsed fly, trying to make herself more presentable for an evening with Alex. As it was, she barely had the wherewithal to run a brush through her hair and clean her teeth. Deciding against getting changed, as Alex was bound to notice if her clothes were different from when they parted this afternoon, she sprayed on a bit of her favourite perfume and checked the pantry to see if there were any nibbles in the house to mop up the wine. Finding a couple of packets of crisps, she decanted them into bowls and set to waiting for Alex.
She didn’t have long to wait. Obviously anxious not to leave her on her own to stew, he turned up twenty minutes later. She was reassured that he, too, hadn’t smartened up and was still wearing the shorts and T-shirt that he’d worn on their trip to Bristol. He had a bottle of sparkling wine in one hand, and Barney’s lead in the other. The dog looked docile and as if he’d had a lot more exercise than he usually got, and, when Sophie opened the front door, it was all Barney could do to raise his nose and give her a sniff.
‘I decided he needed to get out this afternoon!’ Alex said as Sophie commented on the knackered Weimaraner. ‘And I think we went way further than he’s used to.’
‘I told you he was lazy.’ Sophie smiled as, released from his slip lead, Barney wandered through to the living room and collapsed with a martyred sigh on the rug by the patio doors, which Sophie had left open as it was still stiflingly hot.
‘He doesn’t cope well with the heat,’ Alex replied, smiling fondly down at the prone hound. As if he’d forgotten himself, he suddenly started and passed Sophie the bottle of wine, which had obviously just come out of the fridge at the wine shop, as it had condensation on the neck. ‘Here, I hope this is dry enough.’
Sophie looked at the bottle of cava he’d passed her. ‘It looks great. I’ll grab a couple of glasses.’ Passing the bottle back to Alex, she smiled.
Hurrying through to the kitchen, she grabbed the crystal flutes from the top shelf of the cabinet and headed back to Alex. The glasses had been a present from her grandmother on her twenty-first birthday, and they’d survived eight years through careful handling. They were made of Edinburgh crystal; Lily had been adamant that you should only drink good sparkling wine from crystal, and Sophie had tried to adhere to that as often as possible. At the thought of Lily, lying alone in that hospital bed, Sophie blinked back the tears. It comforted her a little to think that Lily was probably lying awake plotting her next bestselling novel, and not feeling sorry for herself in the slightest.
Alex undid the foil on the bottle and popped the cork into his palm, obviously doing his best not to make Barney jump. Pouring two glasses, he handed one back to Sophie. She took hers across the room and sat on the sofa, motioning for Alex to join her.
‘So how are you doing?’ Alex asked once they were settled.
Sophie took a sip from her glass, appreciating the flavour and the exquisite dryness as a distraction from her emotions. ‘I’m OK. It’s Gran we need to worry about.’ Her hand started to shake, and she put her glass down on the side table. ‘I can’t believe it happened.’
‘How exactly did she fall?’ Alex asked.
As Sophie recounted the story, she saw Alex’s face darken, first in shock and then in anger. When she said that Lily didn’t want to take things any further, Alex shook his head in consternation.
‘But she could be badly injured. This Mark guy should at least make sure his dog gets a muzzle or something. What if it does the same thing to someone else?’
Sophie sighed. ‘I’ve tried to convince her, but she doesn’t want to have anything more to do with him. She knows how upset I was when Mark and I split up. I suppose she thinks she’s protecting me if she just lets it lie.’
‘And how do you feel about that?’ Alex’s voice was so gentle, spoke of such concern for her, that Sophie felt her eyes fill with more tears.
‘I want to see him held responsible for what he did, even after everything that’s happened between us.’
‘Why did you break up? If you don’t mind me asking.’
Suddenly, after the day she’d had, and all the worry over Lily, Sophie felt an overwhelming need to tell someone, anyone, about the deeper reasons for the split with Mark. Alex had such understanding in his dark brown eyes, and as his hand crept across the sofa and covered her own she felt reassurance like she’d never known.
‘I was in a bad place when Mark and I split,’ Sophie said quietly. ‘If I’m being honest, it wasn’t just him screwing around with Jenna that ended it. I wasn’t the best person to be around for a couple of months before that.’
‘I’m sure that’s not true,’ Alex murmured. ‘I can’t imagine not wanting to be around you.’
Sophie smiled, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes. ‘No. You don’t understand.’ She swallowed. ‘Not even Mum or Gran know this. In fact, I haven’t told anyone.’
Alex reached across the sofa and took Sophie’s hand. ‘It’s OK. You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to. I won’t be offended.’
‘It’s not that I don’t want to tell you.’ Alex’s hand was warm around hers, and Sophie was grateful for it. ‘It’s just that it’s hard to go back there. I guess I never really dealt with what happened, and just filed it away. And when Mark was caught out cheating, it seemed easier to be angry with him than admit that I’d actually withdrawn from the relationship long before it ended.’
Alex looked at her with soulful dark eyes, turned even darker in the low light of the setting sun. Neither of them had wanted to move to turn on the lamps in the living room, and now the sun’s last rays gradually faded into dusk. ‘I’m here for you, Sophie,’ he said gently.
Sophie took a deep breath, bracing herself to say it out loud. It had been something she’d shut away for nearly a year, and she’d fooled herself that it was over, but being with Alex made her want to be completely open with him.
‘A couple of months before Mark and I split, I found out I was pregnant. It was a total accident. I’d had a bout of food poisoning and my contraceptive pill hadn’t been enough to cover me. I was getting complacent; I’d been on the pill for so many years that I just assumed it would all be fine. It wasn’t.’ She shook her head, surprised that she could sound so matter of fact about it when it had hurt so much at the time.
‘Mark and I had been seeing each other for about eighteen months, and, although neither of us had talked about a family, it seemed to be heading that way. I wouldn’t have been surprised if we hadn’t moved in together sooner or later. Anyway, I’ve always been as regular as clockwork, so when I realised what was happening, I was shocked, but not overly worried. If Mark didn’t want to be around, then I was more than happy to keep the baby by myself. Mum had already been dropping hints about settling down, and, although it wouldn’t have been ideal to raise a baby on my own, I knew I’d be fine. Then, just as I was getting used to the idea, I had a miscarriage at ten weeks. I hadn’t told Mark about the pregnancy – I’m not really quite sure why. I wonder if, deep down, I knew things weren’t going to work out between us, so I was holding back a bit. Don’t get me wrong…’ she glanced up at Alex, who was listening intently ‘… I’d have told him soon after that, but then I lost it, and there didn’t seem much point. The miscarriage wasn’t pleasant, but I was physically all right fairly quickly. I just needed a week or so off work, and I pretended I’d had a stomach bug. No one asked any questions.’
She
laughed hollowly. ‘Much as I miss Mum, it’s actually quite convenient that she lives in Marseille these days. It was easy to pretend I was just ill. Gran wondered where I was, I think, but I texted her and kept up the pretence that I had this awful stomach bug and didn’t want to infect her. I don’t think she guessed.’
‘That surprises me,’ Alex observed, thinking privately that Lily was about as shrewd as they came.
‘Anyway, after that, I wasn’t up to much, if you know what I mean, and Mark started getting frustrated. I can’t blame him, really, although it would have been nice if he’d let me talk to him about things in my own time. I couldn’t talk about it, you see. It was all such a shock: finding out I was pregnant, getting used to that idea and then suddenly discovering that it had ended before it had really begun. I think if I’d had more time, I’d have managed to discuss it with him, but, as it was, he started looking elsewhere and that’s when we split.’
‘Still doesn’t excuse his cheating,’ Alex said. He’d turned away, but Sophie was sure she saw something unfathomable in his eyes before he composed himself and looked back at her. ‘I’m so sorry you had to go through that alone.’
Sophie shook her head. ‘I know it sounds harsh, but perhaps it was for the best. There’s no telling what caused it; the baby could have been damaged, or there might have been something else wrong, something with me. At the time you go on the internet to find answers, but really there are no hard and fast rules. And perhaps Mark and I just weren’t meant to be.’
‘Perhaps you’re right on that score,’ Alex said, a husky note in his voice. He pulled Sophie into a warm embrace and she luxuriated in his closeness for a long, delicious moment. ‘But for what it’s worth, I’m sorry about the baby. Raising a child alone is hard, I know that from what my mom went through in the early years of my own upbringing, but so is losing one before time.’
