by Guy Adams
‘Then we should give them a show,’ said Christine.
The audience began to move, rushing towards the stage as if they meant to attack Christine and Loic. I guess that’s exactly what they meant to do actually. At the time I was just stood there freaking out at the sight of the things. They were skeletons, the few lights shining off their wet bones as they climbed over the backs of the seats, and made to attack.
Of course, Edgar and Erik weren’t going to just stand back and let that happen.
They dived in, Edgar pulling the things apart as he bounded across the rows. He snatched a leg bone from one and used it to smash others to pieces. Erik hardly had to do anything, he just walked down the central aisle, occasionally ducking as a skull was thrown past him. Every now and then he would swing his cane and help out, but Edgar did most of it. That rangatang had a real skill for tearing stuff up. It took next to no time before we were stood in the middle of a broken theatre, crunching our way over snapped bones.
As we gathered on the stage a voice came out of the speakers.
‘Well, that was an annoying way to end a perfectly good bit of fun,’ it said.
‘Would this be Monsieur DuChamp?’ asked Erik.
‘Yes, it would you bone-faced freak,’ said the voice. ‘A man that will take considerable pleasure in paying someone to have you and your ugly wife shot at the earliest opportunity.’
‘Oh dear,’ said Erik, glancing towards Christine. ‘I am afraid you may have angered Madame Daaé, a woman I would be blessed to call my betrothed, naturally, though is in fact, merely by guiding light, my shining beauty, my…’
‘Oh shut up and go away,’ said the voice. ‘I have far more important things to do than listen to you for a moment longer.’
‘Pray just attend us a few seconds more,’ said Erik, gesturing for the rest of us to make for the door. ‘I think you’ll be amazed when you hear what Madame Daaé has to contribute. She is, after all, the major attraction in the entire country, if not the world…’
‘Really?’ DuChamp laughed. ‘That I would like to hear!’
He was saying it in that annoying way adults have of meaning the complete opposite to what they’re saying but making it really obvious. Never got that, it’s just pointless and annoying.
Erik rushed off the stage, pushing all of us in front of him. We ran out of the room as Christine moved to centre stage, stretching her arms out in the beam of the spot light.
‘Run like your heads depend on it!’ Erik said as we belted our way through the foyer and out into the street.Having seen what she could do I could imagine our heads really did depend on it so I did as I was told.
There was this building noise as Christine ran through a scale of notes, getting higher and higher and then, even from outside we had to cover our ears as a single loud note bashed its way out of her mouth and appeared to take out the front part of the building. I mean, when your singing can knock down walls you know you’ve got talent, I’ll give her that.
I’ve no idea what DuChamp made of it but I like to think his head blew up just like the old man’s had. Sat miles away, being all smug and annoying then POW! Brains all over the wall. Brilliant.
And that’s it. The brilliant story of how I saved Loic (after he might have saved me a little bit).
Of course that’s it, that’s how you finish stories! With big explosions!
Well, no, some stuff happened afterwards but nothing really brilliant. Christine came out, she was fine. We convinced her and Erik that we would get a bunch of people together and listen to her sing properly but you know about that don’t you? Some of you were there, all bored like me, at the la la la…
She didn’t even blow anyone’s head off or anything, she just sang. BORING.
Obviously we got back safely, I’m here aren’t I? Stupid to tell you that. Like bothering to tell you I’ve got legs when you can see them with your own eyes.
The point is: we went out there, did some brilliant stuff, were really clever and then came home again. What do you want from me? Blood?
I suppose I could tell you about what happened on the food run last week—yeah of course Loic lets me go on the food runs now, he needs me to watch his back, obviously—that was pretty good. I didn’t know pirañas could fly… Eh? Oh. Paulette says we haven’t got time because you all need to go to bed, sorry, maybe another day. It’s a pretty good story, a man has his legs eaten while running along the Champs Elysees… Yeah, yeah, fine Paulette, bed, whatever.
ADRIEN GETS UP and leaves Paulette to tuck the kids up and put them to bed.
In the doorway, Loic is waiting for him, a big smile on his face.
‘My hero,’ Loic says.
‘Yeah well,’ Adrien shrugs, ‘you’ve got to big it up a bit when you’re telling a story don’t you?’
‘You do,’ Loic agrees and they both walk off to get on with the rest of their lives.
When Pen inherits the job of caretaker for a London building with no doors and only a secret entrance from the caretaker’s lodge – which she must never use – little does she know it will lead her into unbelievable danger. For Azmordis, also known as Satan, a spirit as old as Time and as powerful as the Dark, immortality is running out.
In the house with no front door, a group of teenagers are trapped in assorted dimensions of myth and history, undergoing the trials that will shape them to step into his cloven footwear – or destroy them. Assisted by an aspiring chef called Gavin and Jinx, a young witch with more face-piercing than fae-power, Pen must try to stop the Devil’s deadly game – before it’s too late.
‘Jan Siegel is probably the best British fantasy writer working today, and The Devil’s Apprentice is, true to form, a box of delights. It is entirely unmissable.’
Lavie Tidhar, World Fantasy Award-winning author
‘She writes in a quiet but uncommonly witty style that can soar into elegance or mute dread.’
Publishers Weekly on The Witch Queen
www.ravenstone.com
Jade is a seventeen-year-old mixed martial arts fighter. When she’s in the cage she dominates her opponents—but in real life she’s out of control.
After she has a confrontation with a Hollywood martial arts star that threatens her gym’s reputation, Jade’s coach sends her to a training camp in Thailand for an attitude adjustment.
Hoping to discover herself, she instead uncovers a shocking conspiracy. In a world just beyond our own, a man is stealing the souls of children to try and live forever.
‘Shadowboxer is a fast-paced, gripping contemporary dark fantasy thriller. Everything about this book feels utterly real, from the monsters out of Thai mythology to the cage fights, but especially the incandescent Jade Barrera, whose passion and fury are sometimes bigger than she can control.’
Justine Larbalestier, Andre Norton Award winning author of Liar
www.ravenstone.com
“What’s the first thing you think of when I say ‘angel’?” asked Mallory.
Alice shrugged. “I don’t know... guns?”
Alice isn’t having the best of days - late for work, missed her bus, and now she’s getting rained on - but it’s about to get worse.
The war between the angels and the Fallen is escalating and innocent civilians are getting caught in the cross-fire. If the balance is to be restored, the angels must act - or risk the Fallen taking control. Forever. That’s where Alice comes in. Hunted by the Fallen and guided by Mallory - a disgraced angel with a drinking problem he doesn’t want to fix - Alice will learn the truth about her own history... and why the angels want to send her to hell.
What do the Fallen want from her? How does Mallory know so much about her past? What is it the angels are hiding - and can she trust either side?
‘Dark, enticing and so sharp the pages could cut you, Blood and Feathers is a must-read.’
Sarah Pinborough
www.solarisbooks.com
e Change 3: Paris
