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Hold Page 5

by Kristi Beckhart


  “Oh, dear. Eve, honey, I don’t know. We can’t find him.”

  “For how long?”

  “It’s been a couple of weeks. He checked himself out of Riverside, and we don’t know where he went. We’re pretty upset.” She sighs. “I guess we should have called you.”

  “You guess you should have called me? Uh, yeah, you should have.” I can’t even believe this woman right now. “He’s here. He’s pretty much stalking me. Aren’t you tracing his credit card? Or his phone or something?”

  “Eve, he’s an adult. He cancelled his credit card, and his phone is still here, disconnected. He left it here when he went to treatment.”

  “I gotta go.” I tap the red phone icon on my screen to hang up.

  I don’t even care what she says. My trust in her and Jack is completely gone. It’s time to take matters into my own hands.

  I pull out my laptop. Aaron is still asleep. Mia said he had the sniffles and was sneezing last night, so he must be fighting something. Poor little buddy. I look at his picture on my keepsakes shelf. He’s my everything, with his dimpled cheeks and pudgy knees and big happy eyes. I can’t let one more day go by when he might be in danger.

  My hands hover over the keyboard. Okay, Google, time to fix this. I type “how to place an order of protection” into the search bar. I should have done this a long time ago.

  It takes hours to do the research and figure out how this process works because when Aaron wakes up, he’s cranky and sick and demands my full attention. I’m stuck at home with a sick baby, so I can’t do anything with this right now.

  Sam brings over dinner and provides moral support between his own phone calls and work. At the end of the day, we get through about ten minutes of a show on Netflix before we pass out on the couch, eventually moving to the bedroom.

  We usually have some sort of conversation before we sleep in the same bed, which happens so rarely, but tonight, it’s short and sweet. Our bodies naturally move into a spoon position, my back to his front, his arms around me, one hand cupping my breast. Being with him is so comfortable and warm. And once again, for this one night, I feel safe.

  Chapter 15

  Sam

  “I usually do yoga in the mornings and I really need it today,” Eve says, brushing her fingertips along my cheek.

  The morning sunlight illuminates every distinct feature on her face. Cheekbones, eyelashes, eyebrows, green specks in her eyes, all are glowing and breathtaking, so I have no chance in saying anything but yes to her angelic face. But my dick is hard and I need her to stay in bed with me.

  “I usually need you.” I put my nose to hers and grab her ass to pull her closer.

  She pulls one arm around my neck and the other grabs my ass. She inhales as I drag my fingertips from behind to her puckered hole and down to her wet slit. She gasps, exhaling hot breath into my ear.

  I’m in a trance, wired and buzzing from the sensation that is Eve. Everything about her, every move, every touch brings me to a place that I shut out of my mind long ago. The thoughts creeping into my mind now were filed and locked away years ago. The urges to dominate are being ripped out, filling every pore and threatening to control every muscle in my body.

  Her moan in my ear brings me back to our bodies writhing together. My now-throbbing cock is enveloped and squeezed inside her warm, wet cunt. The pressure is so great, I feel the need to push harder, the need to fuck until it hurts, the need to make my mark. To bruise us both and make us swollen for days. To break the pain/pleasure barrier with her.

  It’s Eve. There’s something about her makes me need it again, but I have to hold back. My rhythm steadies as I pull back to my knees, her on her back, my thumb on her clit. My cock teases that place inside her until she moans my name repeatedly. Her whole body is shaking beneath me, and I can tell she’s holding back so as not to wake the baby. Pulling my cock out, I spill my release on her belly and tits. The view is intoxicating as she looks at me with adoring eyes, so full of lust, always ready for more.

  Using a tissue to clean her off, I say, “I want to watch you do yoga.”

  “I was hoping you would join me.” She sits up, leans over, and takes my still-hard cock into her mouth.

  “I’d rather watch.”

  Pumping my length with her mouth and hands, she looks up with a smile like an evil temptress. She releases me from her mouth and kisses the tip.

  Still naked, she stands up and flips the switch on her nearby boom box, which plays earthy, twinkly new age music. She sets out a yoga mat and faces me with her hands folded together, legs straight and feet crossed, closes her eyes, and breathes deeply.

  God. She’s beautiful like this.

  Her hands push up to the ceiling and spread apart, making a circle around her, exposing her breasts until she leans down and sets her hands flat on the yoga mat. She bends and swings her whole body into a backward U-shape, then there’s more swinging until she eventually stops in a pose that makes me moan. Ass up, bent forward, feet and hands flat on the mat, she pushes her breath out and I hear her hum.

  That’s about all I can handle. She smiles seductively at me, hair hanging upside down while I walk up behind her and kneel. I run my hands up along the insides of her straight legs, starting at her ankles, and end at the bare lips of her pussy, still shaven just for me. I trace my tongue from her clit up to her pussy. She’s so wet, I feel her drip onto my chest. Reaching underneath her, I pinch her nipples and lash my tongue inside her.

  Moaning and gasping, she orgasms as her knees buckle. I pull her onto my lap, and her back leans against my chest, her head rests on my shoulder.

  “Mmm.” I copy her yoga sound.

  I feel every inch of her skin in this position. I swear she reads my mind and lifts with her legs to position herself over my straining dick. I lean back on my hands a little. She bounces over me, slick and warm, and I have the most perfect view of her ass, bent knees, and pussy between them.

  Fucking perfect.

  The morning light still pushes through the curtains and highlights her silhouette moving over me. Our combined scent is so intoxicating, I want to bottle it up and bathe in it. With hushed and heavy breaths, we come together in one final thrust.

  Lying behind her on the floor and combing through her mountain of hair, I find her beautifully sated face and kiss her cheek and jaw. Her palm finds my cheek, and we’re back to the very pose we found upon waking.

  “I think I like yoga,” I whisper and nibble her cheek.

  “Oh, you haven’t seen nothing yet.” She bites my chin and we laugh.

  Right on cue, Aaron’s voice squawks through the monitor. Our time is up, but I can’t complain. She’s amazing, and I’ll take any time with her I can get.

  Chapter 16

  Eve

  It’s dark outside, and I’ve done everything I can to distract myself all day. Yoga helped. Making love to Sam this morning helped. Being at school helped. But since I got home, I’ve been so worried. After putting Aaron to bed, I tried to read a book, watch TV, play a game on my phone while I watch TV. Nothing. I can’t get rid of this creeped out feeling knowing Matthew might be watching me. He’s out there somewhere. Again.

  Maybe it’s an irrational fear. We had a perfectly good exchange the last time I saw him in Minnesota. He’s sorry. He feels bad. He wants to get better. I want to give him the benefit of the doubt, but what I can’t get out of my mind is that he threatened Sam. This has gone too far, and now I’m scared.

  I pick up the phone. I need to talk to Sam.

  “Eve.”

  “Sam.” My voice is trembling.

  “Are you okay?” His voice is a little higher pitched, as though I’ve set him on high alert.

  “Yeah. Well, I think so. I don’t know.”

  “What’s going on?”

  “I need milk. And some other groceries, I think.” I sniffle. “But I’m too scared. I don’t want to leave my place.”

  “I’ll be right over.”


  “No, you don’t have to. I just wanted to call you. I think I just needed to hear your voice to get my mind off it.”

  “I can get you some groceries.” I hear his keys jingle in the background.

  “I can get them tomorrow. It’s okay.” My head is pounding with indecision. “Never mind. Good night. Sam.”

  “No, I’m coming over.”

  “No, you’re not. I’m fine. I’m sorry to bother you. My life is so full of drama. You don’t want that, do you?” A sob escapes me. I don’t want this either. It’s too much. Maybe if Matthew thinks Sam and I are no longer together, he’ll leave Sam alone. Maybe he’ll go home and check back into Riverside. I don’t want to do it, but I say, “I don’t think we should see each other anymore.”

  “What? No. Eve, stop.”

  “Don’t call me anymore, Sam. I’m sorry I brought you into my mess of a life. I’m sorry. I’m doing you a favor. You’ll see. Please respect my wishes.”

  I hang up and turn off my phone. Every muscle in my body shakes, and I can’t breathe.

  I’m probably not thinking clearly, but this seems to be the best answer. From what I can tell, getting an order of protection will take too long, so I need to handle this myself. Just like I did when I left Minnesota. I can do this. I’m strong enough, and I will not let Matthew hurt me or anyone I love ever again. Including Sam.

  Chapter 17

  Sam

  Long streaks of white, green, and blue city lights seem to pass the windows of my car like scattered neon lights. Or like a UFO. It fits with how I feel right now, like I’m in the fucking twilight zone.

  She thinks she’s doing me a favor. Wrong.

  The stoplight ahead slides from green, to yellow, to red. I’m going so fast that when I press on the brake pedal, the tires of my Audi squeal on the pavement and my car reels to a dead stop.

  Don’t call me, Sam.

  Please respect my wishes.

  “Call Ricardo,” I say loudly into my bluetooth speaker above my head.

  “Whazup, amigo?”

  “Can you check around her place again?”

  “Ten-four.”

  “You’re there all night?”

  “You know it, bro.”

  When the call disconnects, the sub-woofers fill my car with Linkin Park’s rhythm guitar. It’s just what I need right now. Hearing my jam and playing the air guitar against my steering wheel relaxes me. A block away from her apartment, I decide to respect her wishes for tonight and give her some space, but tomorrow I’m gonna find out what’s going on.

  There’s a hole in my heart the size of Texas right now. All I want to do is break down her door and fuck some sense into her, but I know that won’t work. Patience might be a virtue, but it’s not a strength of mine. Maybe a swim and a good, stiff drink will help.

  ******

  The drive home did nothing for my nerves. Neither did the swim.

  This might be the worst night of my life.

  How the fuck did this happen?

  I grip my hair and walk around the house. Passing through the living room, I kick the glass-topped coffee table and it cracks. I consider doing more damage to the furniture, but I’m not mad at the furniture. I’m mad at her. I just found her, and with barely a tick of the clock, some shit happens. It figures.

  Lupita, my housekeeper, leaves food for me every day, but when I open the door to the fridge, none of it looks appetizing. I slam the door shut and pour two fingers of scotch. It shoots down my throat like fire.

  I lean on the kitchen counter, palms down, and drop my head. The more I think about this, the more I want her, the more I need her.

  She has locked herself in her apartment, afraid of this guy stalking her, and I’m fucking pacing my house talking to the walls. I’m not the type of guy who sits back and lets someone else take care of what is mine. And Eve is mine.

  I feel as though every cell in my body needs to be near her. In my bedroom, all I can see and smell and hear is her. Flipping off my shoes and landing face first on my bed, I turn on the TV and try to drown out the overwhelming urge to get in my car and go break down her door.

  The gray hue of the images flashing on the large flat screen quells my nerves enough to make me sleepy. Or so I assume, since the next thing I remember is waking up the next morning in the same position, swim suit still on, drool caked on my cheek where it meets the comforter.

  I peel myself off the bed and flip over. The vaulted ceiling is so tall. I never noticed how far away it seems. The birds outside are loud. The traffic on the highway interchange miles away is louder. I’m cold. No, I’m hot.

  What am I doing? I’m just wasting precious time. Time that I need to remedy this. I slept all night, but I didn’t sleep it off. I need to see her, and I can’t wait another minute.

  ******

  I make it to her place in record time considering the traffic and sneak in when someone walks out of the building. When I tap lightly on the door, I hear whispers inside before it opens. She doesn’t smile when she sees me. Instead she leans on one leg and rests her hand on her other hip. Her little pajama shirt with the thin straps hugs her curves. Her pajama shorts with the ruffles along the bottom accentuate the strong lines of her legs. Her hair’s in a bundle on top of her head. She’s stunning.

  “I broke up with you. What are you doing here?”

  “I came to talk it out. I gave you some space last night, but now we talk.”

  She steps back to let me in, so I brush past her and sit on the couch while she watches me with suspicious eyes. Eventually she joins me.

  “In case you were wondering, we slept at Mia’s last night and Aaron’s still there, so we can yell and swear.” She squints at me. “I broke up with you.”

  She’s so adorable, I almost think she’s joking, but she’s not.

  “You mentioned that.”

  She sighs.

  I clear my throat, but I’m confident about what I’m about to say. “You’re not breaking up with me to protect me and we both know it. You’re scared.” She crosses her arms, closing herself to me, but I press on. “I could just walk away right now, because frankly I’m pretty pissed, but I care about you, so I’ll be honest. I’m the real deal. I’m not Matthew. You’ve even said it yourself.”

  Her lips are pressed together, but her eyes are intent on me. She’s listening.

  “I know you were traumatized by the things he did, but you don’t strike me as a victim.”

  She sits back, arms still crossed. I stay where I am, planted at the edge of the couch, elbows on my knees, hands folded in front of me, leaning forward.

  “You’re talking about turning away from me.” I bring my hands to my chest. “A guy who can bring you some stability and support. I’ve already pledged myself to you and Aaron. I’m not sure what else I can do to convince you.”

  She stands and leaves the room, but she quickly returns with two cups of coffee. Time passes while we take a few sips, but it doesn’t take long before tears bead up in her eyes.

  She puts her cup down and leans forward, almost hugging herself. “You’ve given me no reason not to trust you, but when you’ve been through what I’ve been through, decisions don’t come easy. Making the decision to leave Matthew was easy, but becoming a single mom wasn’t. Everything I do now has an impact on my son, and I don’t have a partner to bounce ideas off of. So being with you is a big fucking deal.” She stands and paces the room. “Now, the worst-case scenario spins in my mind almost all the time. I have a hard time making decisions. Hell, I almost lose it just trying to figure out what to make for dinner.” She sits back down and rubs her eyes, clearly trying to hold back tears. “You’re right, I’m not a victim, but sometimes I feel myself falling into that way of thinking. And last night, I thought if I broke up with you, maybe Matthew would leave us all alone. But today, I realize that makes no sense.” One tear falls slowly, drawing a line down her perfectly smooth skin.

  I swipe my thumb across her cheek and cat
ch the drop before it falls. “I’m so sorry you feel you have to do this alone. I can’t make the decision for you, but I can tell you that I’m here to stay if you’ll let me.”

  “Please forgive me.” Her eyes plead with me. “Please. You’re right. I don’t want to break up with you.”

  I brush my fingertip again along the soft mocha skin covering her delicate cheekbone, and she leans into me. “Of course. That’s why I came over here. I’d do anything for you.”

  We’re still for a while. Together. Just breathing next to each other. I hold her, and she holds me back.

  I pull her massive mound of curls to the side and kiss her temple. “Move in with me.”

  “Yeah, right.” She snorts, then her eyes widen. “Wait, you’re serious.”

  I nod.

  “You don’t have to do that.” She shakes her head and smiles nervously. “Aaron and I will be fine, but you’re sweet to offer. Maybe someday though.” She draws her shoulder up in a shy gesture.

  “I’m not suggesting it to be nice.” I take her hands and search her eyes. “I want you to move in with me.”

  “You know it’s not a good idea to move in with someone out of necessity, right? I love you.” She squeezes my hand. “I’m not going anywhere, and I don’t need saving.”

  “I know you don’t. That’s not why I asked. I love falling asleep with you and waking up with you. I love hearing Aaron’s feet pitter-patter on my floor. I love listening to your beautiful voice when you sing ‘Old MacDonald’ to him or read him the Elmo book. I want you with me because I love you, not to save you.”

  I stroke the tops of her fingers with my thumb while I watch the change in her eyes. They start out the greenest of all forests, and as she comes to terms with what I said, specks of gold and brown appear, adding a whole new depth to their beauty.

  I’m so in awe of her transparency in this moment. I watch her face change too, morphing into one of acceptance, followed with gratitude, and finally joy. I almost push her down and attack her neck with my mouth to thank her before she even says…

 

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