by Angel Lawson
“It’s just so exhausting.”
His next move surprises me. He throws his arm over my shoulder and pulls me close to him. I tense at first but then relax, craving comfort. Luke is different from the Immortals. For starters, he has way less baggage, but he also carries an optimism that after a lifetime of wars and pain, it’s hard for them to muster.
The train whistle sounds in the distance and he says, “Rest and recharge. That’s what these breaks are for. Rely on your allies—all of us. Don’t second-guess yourself, Hildi, that’s what my father wants you to do.”
I nod. “Thank you, that’s really helpful.”
I feel his chin on the top of my head. “You’re welcome.”
We sit together for a moment longer, until the vibrations of the train approaching turn thunderous. When the magnificent machine rolls into the station, we all rise, and Luke passes out the tickets.
One by one we climb into the passenger car and hand the attendant, a man with cool yellow eyes, our tickets. I have no idea what the third circle holds for us, but I guess we’ll get there by train.
As the train barrels into the night, we’re directed toward the sleeping cars.
“Oh, thank god,” Elizabeth says with relief. “I mean, riding is preferable to walking, but sleeping is even better.”
My aching feet agree. We’re issued five cars, each the size of a closet. Elizabeth and Luke quickly enter theirs, while I glance at Armin and Rupert. I’d prefer to spend the night with one of them, but that doesn’t seem likely under the current conditions.
“Sleep well,” Armin says, pausing to give me a kiss. “I’ll be next door if you need me.”
I squeeze his hand, and he opens the door to enter his car. Rupert and I stand alone in the hallway. The only sound is the rattling of the wheels on the train tracks and the rushing wind outside. Rupert’s eyes are pinned to the floor.
“Hey,” I say, leaning against the door. “Are you okay?”
He nods easily but his jaw is tight. I sense the tension and upset rolling off him in waves. I open my mouth to speak but no words come out. Hours ago, we joined in the most intimate sense. Now things are awkward and weird.
“Goodnight,” I tell him, coming up with the only words that make sense at the moment.
“Goodnight, Hildi,” he replies, before quickly ducking into his car.
I enter my own room and shut the door with a click. The room has a couch with a bunk overhead, a small sink and a spigot with water. I drop my weapons on the seat and face the sink, turning on the water and splashing some on my face. Spotting a bar of soap, I use it to lather up and wash up. That alone makes me feel better. I unlace my boots and stretch out on the couch. It should be easy to fall asleep to the rocking motion of the train, but my mind won’t stop. Luke’s pep-talk didn’t do the trick. I’m worried. I’m stressed. And I need to clear the air.
A moment later, I’m standing in the narrow hallway outside of Rupert’s sleeping car. Before I can knock, the door swings open and the tall Immortal stands in front of me. He’s no longer dressed like a prince. Those clothes were replaced by the outfit he wore before them—fighting clothes, similar to mine. Although the velvet robe was sexy, I prefer this look; leathers slung low around his waist and a loose white shirt partially unbuttoned. His hair hangs over his shoulders and heavy rings circle his eyes.
I look at him in surprise and ask, “Going somewhere?”
“To find you, actually.”
He steps back into the small compartment and gives me room to step in. He closes the door, and we stand inches from one another.
“I’m—”
“No—”
“Wait—”
“Gods—” I reach out and place a hand over his mouth, silencing him. I nod toward the bench seat. “Sit. Please.”
He does as I ask. and I squeeze next to him. His eyes are focused down, but I touch his chin, lifting his gaze up. “I think we need to talk.”
“What I did…”
“Wasn’t by choice,” I tell him.
“Hildi,” he says, hands tensing, “I need you to let me speak.”
His tone is terse and laced with anger. I snap my jaw shut, realizing that yeah, I probably do need to let him get a word in.
He takes a deep breath and exhales. “The person you saw in the second circle…I’d like to tell you that wasn’t me. That I’d been overtaken by Lucifer’s magic or that it was some kind of illusion. It wasn’t. That was me. That is me.”
My mind flashes back to the concubines, the priest, the music and food.
“I’ve spent my lifetime, many lifetimes, regretting my upbringing. Fearing my desires.” His eyes pierce mine. “You revealed some of what I’d been hiding back at the Academy. But in the circle? I felt completely unleashed, like everything I’d been fighting against for so long was finally allowed to be free.”
My stomach twists anxiously. I knew something was bothering him, but this? This was more than I’d anticipated.
“Succumbing to that feeling—that desire—felt good. There’s no doubt Lucifer knew which circle was the perfect fit for my own weaknesses. When I woke up in that castle, it was like a do-over—of the life I once had. One, that back then, I feared. One, that currently, I could embrace.”
I swallow the lump in my throat. “What are you saying?”
“Life there was on a loop. During the day we fought to expand the Kingdom. At night we celebrated.”
“With the concubines.” I told myself not to be jealous, but envy spikes in my veins.
“I could taste the fear of the concubines on my tongue from across the room.” He licks his bottom lip. “It wasn’t about sex, you know that don’t you? Back in that place it was never about sex. It was about power. Control.”
I laugh darkly. “It’s the Lust circle, Rupert, don’t pretend it wasn’t about sex.”
His eyebrow raises. “Would you believe me if I told you that each night, a female was left in my room and that each night, I released her?”
“Uh…” I’m stumped. Would I believe him? I know what I saw. I know what I was told. “Your attendants were very specific. You used and abused the concubines. They were terrified of you. They’d much prefer to pleasure your guests than you—because at least that way they’d live another day.”
“The females taken to my room were released because I needed the entire Kingdom to think I was harming them. I needed that fear to manage my façade.”
“You’re saying you had control over yourself there?” I shake my head in disbelief. “Armin had no control in the first circle. He was completely lost to that world.”
“I spoke to Armin,” he says. “He was completely lost because he was focused entirely on you. The opposite is true for me. I was completely in control because I was entirely focused on you.”
“What are you talking about, Rupert.” My head pounds with confusion. “I don’t blame you for what happened in there. I don’t need you to make excuses.”
He takes my hand and holds it against his taut stomach. “I felt you the whole time, Hildi. At first just a faint tug, later like a dog pulling on a leash. I knew I was waiting on someone. Someone special. Lust did consume me, Valkyrie, it made me laser-focused on someone coming for me. The actual, true desire, was triggered the instant you walked into my kingdom.”
“You recognized me?” I was sure he hadn’t.
“As Hildi Axel? No.” He laces our fingers together. “But my gut told me you were special. That the girl with no fear and eyes like ice, and skin that looked so soft I would perish if I couldn’t have you. The priest and my companions thought I was going to kill you right there—they believed the rumors of my barbaric actions. I didn’t plan on taking you right there and then, but that’s when the lust overtook me.” His lips form a line. “I apologize for that. For claiming you like an animal for my entire court to see.”
“There’s no need to apologize. I felt it, too. I wanted it. I wanted you, so badly.” I crawl
onto my knees so I’m closer to his face. “I wanted to break you from the spell so I could bring you back to us.”
He runs a hand down my side, once again reaching for my hand. He thumbs the ring. “I never left, and I assure you, that I never will. The bond between us is greater than these rings. It affixed long before we entered Lucifer’s realm and it will stand long after we stop the apocalypse.”
The Immortal before me is not the one I met at the Nead. He’s not even the one I kissed in the library at the Academy. He’s stronger, bolder, braver. He knows what he wants and when he tilts his head and his lips brush against mine, I know that what he wants is me.
16
Armin
Empty plates sit on the table, our meal long gone. Coffee, black and bitter, is the drink of choice. Even after a full night of rest while the train rambled across the barren countryside, I think everyone feels a bit hung over from the second circle. Lust is as much of mind-altering substance as any other drug and although the affects have worn off, there’s a lingering feeling of confused regret.
Whatever distance Rupert and Hildi struggled with the night before has vanished. And when they joined us in the dining car this morning, he had his nose stuck in the book Dylan sent. I sense that his mind is trying to cling to anything academic. He absently twists the ring on his finger, and it sends a faint, vibrating hum down my own.
“Look,” Luke says suddenly, running his hand through his hair, “as you now realize, my father is very good at what he does. His specialty is picking at a healing wound and make it bleed. I would like to propose that we put what happened in the second circle behind us and never discuss it again.”
“Sounds good to me,” I reply, gulping down my coffee.
“Same,” Elizabeth says. Her cheeks have been red for the last twenty-four hours.
“I think it’s best if we focus forward,” Rupert says, closing the book. “Any idea what we can expect next?”
Luke grimaces. “One of my father’s favorites. Gluttony.”
“Seriously?” Hildi asks. “How is that any different than lust?”
“They’re all slight variations of human weakness, which immortal or not, we all have.”
Hildi frowns in thought. “Who is most likely to be trapped there?”
“Marshal has never been able to turn away a good party,” Elizabeth says.
“True,” I reply. “But I’m not sure that would be torturous to him.”
Rupert’s eyes catch mine. “There’s one Immortal that does not like excess of any kind. That craves simplicity and peace.”
He’s right. There is only one Immortal like that.
The train’s whistle blows and the wheels squeal as the brakes slow the locomotive. With her hands gripping the edge of the table, Hildi’s eyebrows shoot up in concern. She’s just figured out who will be tormented in the next circle.
I drown the last bit of my coffee and stand. “Let’s go save Miya.”
17
Hildi
The train leaves us at the edge of a withered forest, but soon, as we follow Luke, the gray sky clears and a beautiful, cloudless, blue sky appears overhead. The dark soil on the ground turns lighter—sandier. The humidity vanishes and soon we’re trekking through what could only be described as a desert.
After the last two circles, we’re on guard—at least I know I am. If the lust ring taught me anything, it’s that I’m as susceptible to Lucifer’s tricks as his targets.
We carefully travel the worn path with Luke in the lead. Rupert and Armin protect our backs while Elizabeth and I fill the middle. My Fae friend has been quiet most of the day—her cheeks continuously flushed. I can’t help but wonder if I’m the reason for her discomfort.
“I’m sorry if that was uncomfortable for you yesterday,” I say, as we walk together.
“What do you mean?”
I give the girl a side glance to see if she’s being sarcastic. Her expression is sincere. “Well, for a start, Rupert and I had sex on a table in front of an entire room of people—including you.” A bird with massive, wide wings screeches overhead and I reach for my weapon. We both wait, watching it circle a few times before flying off. I sheath my dagger. “You also got left alone with the evil witch twins. That couldn’t have been fun.”
She coughs and then clears her throat. “I didn’t see you and Rupert. I promise.”
“Seriously? Even when he cleared the table, and everything went scattering all over?” Recalling the event sends a mixture of embarrassment and longing through my limbs. Odin, Rupert is sexy.
Elizabeth’s eyes remain forward. “I wasn’t really focused on you.”
“What were you—” I think back to the castle and the last time I saw Elizabeth. She’d been snuggled up with a very attentive Clara. I grab her arm. “Did you? With Clara?”
“And Cora,” she replies, ears tipped in red. “Something just came over me.”
I nod. “The magic was strong.”
“It wasn’t just the magic. I’ve had a crush on Clara for a while.” She wrinkles her nose. “I mean, nothing I’d ever act on—well, not at the Academy. She’s evil. But…just really sexy.”
I think about it. Yeah, there’s a certain appeal. Marshal seemed to think so. That memory pisses me off.
“I’m sorry,” she says. “I was supposed to be there to help Rupert and keep an eye out for you and I totally succumbed to temptation.”
I raise an eyebrow. “Was it worth it?”
She laughs. “Alternate universe sex with an evil witch? Yeah, it kind of was.”
I toss my arm over her shoulder. “Good, that’s all that matters, because we’re literally trapped in hell and something good has to come from it.”
This place is draining and overwhelming—a different kind of battle than I’d expected. I could say that about every step of the way with this mission. I never expected the Academy or the challenges that came with being surrounded by a bunch of spoiled immortal brats, or the humiliating tactics Roland and Victorine used to try to break me. Every move has been emotionally taxing, including the relationships with the Immortals. My Immortals. It’s caused a bone-aching exhaustion that I don’t know if I’ll ever recover from.
Up ahead, I see Luke standing at the ridge of a cliff, the wide sky and endless desert ahead. He covers his eyes and searches the distance.
“Are we lost?” I ask, catching up to him. Elizabeth holds back for Armin and Rupert.
“I don’t think so.” He scans the horizon. “There.”
I follow the direction his finger points to. I don’t see anything.
“What am I looking for?”
“Halfway across the desert—do you see that glint?”
I shade my eyes and peer in the direction. “See what?” I ask, trying desperately to find what he’s referring to. I can’t find anything but miles and miles of dry, deserted sand.
“Here,” Luke says, coming up behind me. He presses his body against my back and takes my head in his hands, adjusting it to where he wants me to look. His hand are strong, and his breath tickles my ear. “There, do you see it?”
Far in the distance, probably miles away, I do finally see a shimmer of light. “What is that?” I ask over my shoulder.
“The one thing you always want to find in a desert.” He replies, slowly releasing me. “An oasis.”
18
Luke
Once everyone catches up, I offer to hang back. I need a little distance and possibly some self-reflection. Getting close to Hildi like that…close enough to feel the curves of her body and her soft skin. To smell the sweat on her neck…well, it was not a good idea. It was a stupid, stupid idea. And if we were already trekking through Hell, I’d probably send myself here as punishment.
What am I doing?
The apocalypse is not the time to make a move on a female, particularly one magically bound to five other men. Immortal, bone-crushingly strong men. Not when we have so much on the line and the odds of us actuall
y making it through this in one piece are slim. I sense what my father is doing with this game. He’s wearing us out, breaking us—particularly Hildi—down. Sure, she has a slight advantage with the rings and book Dylan gave her, but it’s not enough.
To beat my father, we’ll have to be at the top of our game, mentally, physically, emotionally.
“You look like someone kicked your dragon,” Elizabeth says, dragging me from my thoughts.
“Dragon?”
“Or whatever kind of pets you have down here.”
“Hellhounds mostly, although they tend to be loyal to my father, so it’s best not to trust them.”
We trudge through the sand, the oasis looming closer, but still far away. It’s dusty and hot, dehydration has started to settle in my bones. I try to keep my eyes off of Hildi—the long lines of her neck, the way her leather pants hug her hips—several yards away, but I keep getting drawn back to her over and over again.
“I guess what I was trying to ask, is what’s going on with you? You seem extra down.”
I look at the small girl next to me. Ever the optimist? “We’re in Hell, Liz. Barely scraping by as we enter these twisted games my father has created.”
“We’ve been successful so far.”
I grimace. “You’re right, we have, and that’s one of the things that makes me uncomfortable. It’s been too easy.”
“You think that’s been easy?” she asks incredulously. “I guess you don’t have the regrets of making out with an evil witch in the last circle.”
Thankfully, I’d been locked in a cell, or Gods knows what regrets I would have had.
A slight breeze wafts by us, cooler and a little refreshing. Hildi looks back in question and my stomach flips.
“The longer we’re here, the more my father can hone in on our weaknesses. Each circle is going to get harder; more draining and more personal.” I hold Elizabeth’s eye. “It’ll definitely get more dangerous.”
