by Lexi Blake
“My training Dom is the problem.”
Now she had his attention. Those deep blue eyes were focused on her, his jaw a harsh line. “He’s done something he shouldn’t? That was quick. It usually takes the assholes a few days to show their true colors. You were paired with Eric Vail. I didn’t see that coming. I would have told you he would make an excellent Dom. Sean is going to be upset. I’ll need to know exactly what he’s done.”
She shook her head and took the seat in front of him. She didn’t want to get Eric in trouble with Chef. “No. It’s nothing bad. Eric is a great guy. I mean he did spank me, but I agreed to it.”
Ian’s brow cocked. “You were first day spanking girl?”
Damn, she already had a nickname. “I’m afraid so. Master Alex pretty much demanded it.”
“If you pissed off Alex on the first day, you likely deserved whatever Master Eric gave you,” Taggart stated flatly. “So what is the problem? Did you disapprove of his spanking method? Are you a connoisseur? What exactly do we call those? Spankpert? Do you have a checklist of how you need to be disciplined when you get out of line? Perhaps Master Eric needs one of those. Put some glitter on it so he can’t miss the salient points.”
Wow, those words were icy cold coming out of his mouth. When that man got pissy he could practically frost over a room. “I didn’t have a problem with the spanking. It was fine. I had been rude and I agreed to all the parameters of discipline at Sanctum. The problem is Eric himself. I don’t think we can work together.”
Taggart went still as he watched her. “Do you have a degree in psychology? Because the man who paired you up with Master Eric does. Several of them, in fact. Are you telling me Master Kai has made a mistake and you know of a better partner for you? Because I believe you plainly stated that you had no preference and would be eager to work with any of the Doms.”
That was because she’d never dreamed Eric would be there. “Master Kai is brilliant, I’m sure, but I would be more comfortable with someone else.”
Taggart sighed. “Good. I’m glad you felt like you could express that feeling, and I think you should look forward to lots of spankings in your future. You can go now.”
She stood up. That had been easier than she thought. “Okay. So, I’ll meet the new training Dom tonight?”
Taggart was back to looking at his maps while he unpacked his lunch. He grimaced at the salad, but picked up the fork anyway. “Not at all. You can accept the Dom who was given to you or you can leave the program. Welcome to Sanctum and all that.”
What had the man misunderstood? “But I can’t be with him. I can’t. I have to work with him so I can’t have a relationship like that with him. He’s kind of my superior. I think that would be inappropriate.”
“It sounds perfectly appropriate to me. He bosses you around at work. Now he bosses you around in the club. You should be used to it.”
She could feel the beginnings of tears because he wasn’t listening to her. “I don’t think it’s going to work.”
“Then the door is right there. Feel free to walk out it.”
She stood. This was useless. There was no moving him. It looked like she was going to have to leave the program. She turned to walk out.
“I hate crying females. I guess I hate crying anyones. Except for Adam. It’s fun when Adam cries. And the twins. I can’t ever hate them. Stop and tell me why you don’t want Eric as your Dom. You’ve got exactly one minute to tell me the truth and if you don’t, I’ll let you walk out and you won’t be welcome back. Don’t bullshit me about him being your boss.”
Her stomach was in knots. “I don’t want to care about him.”
“All right. I believe that. Is it only him or any male you don’t want to care about?”
A very good question. “Any, I suppose. I was married and I don’t want to do that again. I don’t want to do any of that again.”
“Then maybe a club where people do kinky sex things is not for you,” Taggart said. “Might I suggest a nunnery? I think there are a few of those left.”
She nearly groaned her frustration. “I want to have sex. Sex isn’t the problem. Well, it was one of the problems with my marriage, and that’s why I want to explore it. I don’t want to have a relationship.”
He nodded as though he finally understood. “All right. I’m sure someone can find the number of a male escort service for you.”
“That’s not what I want at all.” How did anyone deal with this obnoxious man?
“Let me see if I can figure this out, Deena. You want sex without emotion. I don’t know that you’ll find what you’re looking for with Sanctum’s brand of D/s. Certainly not since all the asshole Doms went and found the feels and shit. Li was your best shot and he’s all about his wife now. Communication is important and that means getting to know a person. Contrary to popular belief, you won’t find hundreds of unattached Doms willing to service your sexual needs. There are maybe ten Doms without subs. What happens when you run through them?”
She stared right back at him now because she wasn’t going to take that. Not from anyone. “I thought you were different. I thought I wouldn’t get slut shamed at a place like Sanctum.”
A long sigh came from Taggart and he sat back. “I wasn’t shaming you. I don’t care how much uninvolved sex you have. It likely won’t touch what I did when I thought my wife was dead. I was only pointing out a few problems with your plan. My point is that you will get to know all of these men. You’ll get friendly with them and you will develop feelings for them because you’re human and that’s what we do even when we don’t want to. If you weren’t capable of caring, Kai would have disapproved your application. Me? Now I think every club needs a cold-ass bitch, but every time I bring one in, my wife kicks her ass. If you’re looking for a quick, anonymous hookup, you should go to a bar because the men I bring into Sanctum will try to take care of you, and that seems like something you don’t want.”
“You’re twisting my words.” She didn’t like the way it sounded when Taggart said it. She thought of it as fun and carefree, but he was right that she was afraid of the emotional aspect of sex. It was all so confusing.
“Am I? Or do you simply not know what you want? Look, I’ve read your file. You went through a shitty divorce and you’ve decided no one is ever going to do you wrong again. You won’t accept a relationship where you could get hurt. But I’m asking you if you intend to go through the rest of your life without ever trying. And what’s next? Because I’ve found that when you cut yourself off from one form of relationship, you get harder on the others. So when a friend fails you next, will you cut all of them off? Because if those are your intentions, skip the Sanctum membership and start collecting cats.”
He was starting to make her mad. Though she’d signed on as a sub, she wasn’t willing to simply keep her mouth shut. “You don’t have to be so harsh. If you don’t want me in your club, I don’t have to be there.”
“I’ve got room in my life for one stubborn bitch right now and it’s not you. I selected you because Sean thought Sanctum would be good for you. I thought it would be good for you. Kai thinks you need it to find yourself. But it doesn’t sound like you want to find yourself. It sounds like you’re trying to hide from the world. Do it on someone else’s time. I just lost my brother. He doesn’t get the chance to find himself. I’m spending my days marking grid patterns so I can pay a group to search the fucking ocean for his body. You don’t want to allow a damn decent man to train with you, fine.” He stood and sighed. “Damn it. Now you’re really crying.”
“I tend to do that when people are mean to me.” She wished she could be cool and calm like other people, but her natural reaction was to tear up. It was something her ex-husband had complained about. Why do you have to be so emotional, Deena? Can’t you ever be logical?
It was why she never let herself cry anymore. Last night had done a number on her. Being spanked by Eric seemed to have opened something up inside her that would better be
left locked away.
Taggart moved across the room toward her, that bleak visage lightening marginally. He stood in front of her, big hands on her shoulders. “I’m sorry, Deena. I’m under a lot of pressure and you’re not a fair target. Give it a chance with Eric. No one else in the group was right for you. He’ll be patient and understanding.”
“And what if I give in?”
“I’m going to say something to you that I say to everyone who has this problem. Don’t sleep with him. It’s very simple. Go into this experience with an open mind and locked knees. You should be fine. Though you should know a good Dom can get through those locked knees. And please forgive me for being unkind. I am many things, but I hope I’m not that. Losing my brother has been hard on my sense of humor.”
She sniffled and wiped her tears. She’d never had a brother. She was an only child and now it seemed she was intent on isolating herself further. The idea that she was being hard on the people around her might not be so wrong. Walls could protect but they could also keep out good things. “I’m sorry I’m being so inflexible. And I put a slice of lemon cheesecake in your box, but I think you should eat the salad because I’ve met your wife and she scares me more than you do.”
Taggart laughed and she was happy she could put a smile on the man’s face. He walked back to his desk and sat down again. “I will eat my jerk chicken salad and then share my cheesecake with a couple of babes. I mean that literally. My twins are madly in love with solid food. I can’t tell you what that does to a diaper.”
She didn’t want to know. She couldn’t handle a pet much less a kid.
Maybe she could handle Eric. It would all come down to communication. “Thanks, Sir.”
“And Deena,” Taggart called out as she began to leave. “Remember when I told you I tell everyone not to sleep with their partners? No one ever listens.”
She intended to be the first.
CHAPTER FOUR
Eric stopped what he was doing and stared at Javier. “You can’t be serious. She wouldn’t do that.”
Javier was busy chopping peppers, his hands moving at lightning speed. “I’m telling you what I heard. Big Tag told his wife, who mentioned it to Grace, who called Chef, and I overheard that conversation.”
His best friend did have some issues. “You eavesdropped on our boss?”
Javier never missed a beat. “I eavesdrop on everyone. It’s a hobby. How do you expect to run your own place if you don’t listen in on your employees? You have to stay on top of that shit. Like I happen to know that two of the busboys are having an affair, and it’s not who you would think.”
He hadn’t thought any of them would have an affair. “With each other?” That wasn’t the point and he wasn’t going to get into the soap opera that played out in every restaurant he’d ever worked in. He was concerned with his own little drama. “She tried to dump me as her training Dom?”
It made him feel like he’d gotten kicked in the stomach. He knew she’d been in a bit of shock after the kiss they’d shared. When he’d helped her pack up her car, she’d been quiet and unable to meet his eyes¸ but he’d expected her to bounce back the way she always did. He’d explained that he would pick her up after he got off work and she’d nodded and taken off. She wasn’t working the dinner shift so he would have to wait until later to see her.
To ask her how she could possibly have tried to dump him after that kiss.
“She apparently tried to get them to assign her to someone else and Big Tag said no, so the man has your back,” Javi said.
Why was he pushing this so hard? The woman didn’t want him. He should accept that and move on.
There were other fish in the sea. Lots of them. Hell, he could likely even date someone here if he amped up the charm.
He turned back to his ovens, checking the timer for the hundredth time. “I’ll talk to him myself. If she wants another Dom, she can have one.”
He’d been looking forward to tonight. They were supposed to sit together and go over the standard contract before writing in their own clauses. They were supposed to start to talk about what they both needed. He’d been looking forward to that. He’d talked to her many times over the past year. He knew a lot about her. He knew her parents had split up when she was young and she hadn’t seen her father much after that. She’d been raised by a hard-working single mother who she loved dearly and talked to at least twice a week. She wanted a dog, but her apartment didn’t allow pets. He’d studied her, but they’d never talked about sex. It hadn’t been appropriate. The conversation tonight would be all about sex.
Would have been.
“You’re giving up pretty easily,” Macon said.
Eric hadn’t heard the big pastry chef come in. He turned and noticed Macon was accompanied by the new guy. Chef had recently brought in a sommelier. Sebastian Lowe was a tall, elegant man who seemed to think a three-piece suit was proper attire for a kitchen. He looked somewhat out of place amongst the crew of Top. Chef tended to hire ex-military men and Sebastian didn’t fit the bill, but according to his resume he was one of four master sommeliers in the entire state of Texas. He’d only been working for a few weeks, but he was quiet and efficient, never spending too much time with anyone on the staff with the exception of Macon.
“Do you have my plates ready?” Sebastian asked in his slow, Southern accent.
Sebastian was given a tasting plate of every item on the menu for the night and he paired the wines from there. He insisted on tasting even dishes he’d had before because according to him tiny variations in a recipe made a difference to his perfect palate.
“I set them out on the prep table for you,” Eric explained. After Sebastian had nodded and moved to the plates, Eric turned back to Macon. It looked like Javi wasn’t the only one who listened in. “What am I supposed to do? I can’t force her to be my partner.”
“Big Tag already did that for you,” Javi pointed out.
Macon leaned over and picked up one of the perfectly sliced green pepper strips, popping it into his mouth and munching before continuing. “Those have an excellent flavor. And Javi’s right. The hard work’s been done. Now you have to prove yourself.”
“And if she walks out?” He wasn’t sure that he could be the reason she was forced to walk away. He’d seen how excited she’d been the night before. She wanted to try this. She just didn’t want to try it with him.
“She won’t,” Macon assured him. “Look, don’t tell Ally I told you this, but Deena came by after she dropped off lunch at McKay-Taggart. She told Ally that Big Tag is an asshole—stop the presses—but that he made sense and she kind of ended up liking him, so she’s going to give it a shot tonight. You have your six weeks with her.”
They were a big old group of gossips and thank god for that. Still, after that kiss they’d shared, he’d been absolutely sure she would give them a shot. Instead, she’d gone straight to the big boss and asked for a change. “I don’t know. I might be opening myself up for a whole lot of heartache.”
“She’s not an easy nut to crack,” Macon replied. “She’s been through a lot.”
Javi looked up. “Yeah, what’s up with that girl? She’s so nice to everyone, but then she seems to push people away when they try to get close.”
“You tried to get close?” He could hear the hardness of his own voice. Yes, he got jealous. He was only human and Deena was a beautiful woman. Javi was six foot, well-muscled, and all Latin lover. More than one woman had found herself locked in a closet with Javi before she truly knew what she was doing.
Javi rolled his dark eyes. “Don’t get your back up. I asked her some personal stuff one night. About her ex. She got cold really fast.”
Javi obviously hadn’t done the same snooping Eric had. “She got married straight out of high school and put her asshole husband through law school. He promptly dumped her for a woman he met at his new firm.”
Macon stared for a moment. “Stalker.”
“I asked a few questio
ns and did a little digging. I was curious.”
“Well, you’re right, but it’s worse than that,” Sebastian said, reminding everyone that he was there.
Eric turned toward him. He was finishing up his tasting and writing down some notes on a clipboard. “How would you know? You’ve been here a month.”
“In vino veritas,” Sebastian said. His sandy blond hair was slicked back, his clothes maintaining a perfection Eric would never know. He could wrinkle a T-shirt in four point five seconds. “When the rep from Hanover wines came in, she helped me taste. She didn’t understand the idea of taste and spit.”
“You spit out the wine?” Javi asked, horrified.
Sebastian shook his head as though they were all barbarians. “I can try up to a dozen vintages in one tasting. Yes, I spit it out. Otherwise my senses would be dead by the time I got to the later bottles. Deena had fun with it. And she flirted with the rep.”
“That’s great to know,” Eric said. She liked wine reps.
“So she talked to you after the tasting?” Macon seemed to be determined to get past Eric’s jealousy.
Thank god he had a sensible friend. He needed to shut that shit down or he would scare her off. “What did she talk about?”
“She’s a lightweight. She got flirtier after the fifth taste. She was drinking roughly a quarter of a glass each time. The funny thing was when he asked her out, she seemed horrified and apologized,” Sebastian said. “I drove her home. She talked about her ex-husband. They grew up together, dated in high school. She didn’t realize how much he was changing until he walked in one day and told her he’d grown out of the marriage. He’d had all these experiences that she’d made possible, but because she spent all her time on him, she’d stayed the same. His new girlfriend decided she didn’t want a husband with all that debt. She hired her father, who is one of the biggest bully divorce lawyers in town, and they gave Deena an ultimatum. She could agree to a simple fifty fifty division of their assets or they would tie her up in court for years and she would have to pay the attorney fees. And they managed to freeze their accounts. So Deena had nothing to fight with.”
