Fuck my life!
Chapter Four
Aspen
Lubbock, Texas – May 15th
The job search wasn’t going well at all. I tried to do what Mrs. Pepper had suggested: I looked for jobs in all the fields my degree in petroleum engineering touched upon. Unfortunately, all those jobs were outside of Lubbock, and I needed to stay in Lubbock to finish my grad work.
I couldn’t believe that with just one more semester to go, I’d hit a brick wall. I couldn’t find a job that would pay enough for me to continue going to school.
Margo and I sat at the small dining room table, slurping our Top Ramen while discussing our bleak futures. A noodle slapped the side of her mouth as she sucked it in. “God, I hate this!”
“Me too.” I put my fork on the table and stared into the puddle of colorless noodles in the bottom of the bowl. “What did I do to deserve this?” I’d been a good person. I’d worked when I had to. So, why me?
Margo got up and put her bowl in the sink. “I’ve applied everywhere I can within walking distance. Later on today, I’ll take my bike and apply at any places within riding distance. But shit, I’m tired!”
Sucking down the remainder of the noodles, I thought about where else I could look for a job. In the end, it wasn’t a matter of finding one that could pay enough for school, I had to find one to pay the simple bills of living.
“Okay, I think we should double up here, Margo. Get a couple of roommates to share these expenses.” I got up to clean my bowl. “We can fit our beds in your room then two other girls can put twin beds into mine, and then we’ll be splitting things four ways, instead of just two. That way, I might be able to pay for my classes as well as my bills.”
The way her dark eyes lit up told me she thought I was on to something. “I’m cool with that. Why don’t you put up a poster at the college to see if we can hurry up and get someone?”
“Okay. I’ll poster all the cork boards at school.” After washing my bowl, I dried it and put it away. “And we should really do some deep cleaning to attract a couple of good girls. We don’t want messy people living with us.” Margo tended to be messy anyway, but we definitely didn’t need anyone else helping her with that.
Taking my lead, she washed and dried her bowl and then put it up too. “Okay, I’ll take the kitchen and living room while you move your bed and things into my bedroom. That way we’ll be ready to go as soon as possible.”
Getting to work, it took nearly the whole day to get the place in order and the poster made. Noticing that the time had gotten away from us, Margo took a seat on the sofa instead of heading out on her bike to apply for jobs. “Looks like this day is a loss for job hunting.”
I went to find my laptop and came back to give it to her. “Here. You can apply for jobs online too. No need to waste a day.” I sat down beside her, tapping in my password to allow her to use the computer. “I’ve already applied for everything I could find that’s within walking distance. Since I can’t ride a bike, I can’t apply for anything further than that.”
“Whoa,” she said as she looked stunned. “You can’t ride a bike? Now tell me why I don’t know that about you, Aspen.”
Shrugging, I said, “’Cause I haven’t told you about that. I’m not really into talking about myself. You know that.”
“And why is that, anyway?” She asked as she pushed the laptop to the other side of her.
She must’ve thought I was about to open up to her. Wrong.
I picked up the laptop and put it right back on her lap. “You worry about finding a job and not learning about me. I’m a bore anyway.”
The fact was I did believe my story was boring. Having just a father to raise me had left me sheltered. I didn’t have any cool stories to share about my rambunctious childhood. I never rebelled, so I didn’t have any great stories of how I put it to my dad and got my way. And I never got into any trouble, so I didn’t have any ‘that time I went to jail’ stories either.
I was a bore.
Margo was insistent though. “Come on. At least tell me why you never learned how to ride a bike. You said your dad made good money. You grew up in a nice home. You two drove nice cars. So, why didn’t you learn how to ride a bike?”
“I really don’t know. I guess Dad never thought about it. And I never asked.” Thinking back, I couldn’t recall a whole heck of a lot of times that Dad taught me anything.
He hadn’t taught me how to cook. When he was alive, he bought takeout all the time. Neither of us cooked. It wasn’t until after I realized that takeout costs way more than food you can make at home that I learned how to cook a little bit—enough to get by anyway.
Margo wasn’t satisfied. “So, what else do you not know how to do?”
I had to think on that a minute before I said, “I don’t know how to swim. I don’t know how to dance. I don’t know how to sew. There’re lots of things I don’t know. But I do know how to study hard and get good grades. I do know how to focus on one thing at a time and accomplish each goal I need to.” I’d had enough of her questions and I got up to leave. “And right now, my goal is to get us some roomies to share these bills with. I’ll be back in a little while. I’m going up to the college now.”
“I’ve just got one more question for you, Aspen,” she called out after me.
Stopping at the door, I turned to look at her. “What, Margo?” She’d exasperated me already.
Her dark brows raised. “Have you ever had sex?”
“Oh, God!” I pulled the door open to leave.
“Well, have you?” she shouted out after me.
“Margo, you are incorrigible.” I began to pull the door closed behind me.
Suddenly she was right there, holding onto it so I couldn’t close it. “No! Tell me the truth, Aspen. Are you a virgin?”
“It doesn’t matter,” I said as I started walking away.
“You are, aren’t you?” she shouted.
“Hush, Margo. God!” My cheeks were hot with embarrassment. “Go back inside. The neighbors don’t need to know our business, girl.”
“OMG! I’ve gotta get you laid, girl!” she screeched.
Then I broke into a run to get the heck away from her. It mortified me that she’d yelled that for all the world to hear. Sometimes the girl could be so clueless.
Once I was far enough away from her, I slowed down to a walk. If she knew more, then she’d really give me hell. Not only had I never had sex, but I’d also never kissed a boy or even masturbated.
Not that I never had sexual thoughts about guys. I certainly did. Especially about hot ones. But I didn’t ever want to bring any guy home. Dad could be a real bear about me.
Of course, I’d had a couple of years without Dad around. It was getting kind of hard to keep using that as an excuse. But I’d been so busy with school and work that I never gave any guy who tried much of a chance. Or really, any chance at all.
Walking onto the campus, I saw a couple making out underneath a tree. Right there in front of God and everybody, they were going at it. The guy was even going so far as to dry hump her.
“Yuk,” I said out loud.
Not that they cared one bit. They didn’t even pause for even a second to look at me.
“Animals,” I mumbled. “Nothing but animals.”
I didn’t understand how some people could do things like that out in public. But then again, I didn’t know how they did things like that at all.
My father had never brought a woman home. And he’d never spent the night out either. I didn’t ask Dad about women, and he didn’t ask me about boys. He told me things about boys, but he never asked me if I had a boyfriend.
He didn’t have to. He made it clear that my head needed to be in school. Leave boys out of it. And any friends that didn’t have the same ideas I had, needed to be left out of it too.
So, I had one friend while I was growing up. The neighbor girl. Courtney. She was homeschooled though. Her parents were strict as ‘H’
‘E’ double hockey sticks. She and I got along well. We mostly colored when we were together. There wasn’t a lot either of us had to say.
Maybe because I grew up with just Dad and me at home, I never was that great at communicating. So much so that when I was a freshman in college, one of my professors told me I needed to add on some communication classes. That was the only subject matter my education lacked.
At first, I was kind of mad that he would say such a thing. But after taking speech and even one drama class, I realized I needed to beef up those essential skills.
Growing up with only a father hadn’t been bad, but it had been different—judging from what I’d heard from others anyway. But not bad at all.
Dad and I had gotten along well. No real arguments to speak of. Nothing dramatic. Just life, day in and day out. Him working, me going to school. We had our jobs, and we did them. And no one needed to gripe or complain. It wasn’t necessary. It was just life.
At times, I envied my friends who had two parents. But at other times, I cherished the fact that I didn’t have to listen to my parents arguing. I didn’t have to witness any awkward displays of affection.
Then it hit me. Maybe that’s why I don’t feel comfortable with the opposite sex.
Maybe because I grew from babyhood never seeing a couple interact put something in my head. Like it wasn’t normal, at least for me, to be doing things like that? Like kissing, hugging, having sex.
I came up to the first cork board and found a spare thumbtack. But the poster just underneath it caught my eye.
Someone wanted a mother for his baby. Or rather, he wanted a woman to have his baby. And he would pay them to do it.
I pulled the pin out of the poster to hold the page closer as I’d forgotten my reading glasses. “Wanted: One woman in good health, physically attractive, mentally competent, intelligence is a plus. Needed as a surrogate mother to my child. Willing to pay top dollar to the right female. No strings attached. No sex attached. In vitro fertilization method.” I looked at the bottom, seeing a phone number there.
Looking around to see if anyone would spot me grabbing the paper, I began folding it into a smaller size so it would fit in my pocket.
What am I thinking?
I couldn’t do that. I couldn’t have some guy’s baby then have nothing more to do with the child.
Who knew if this guy was trustworthy enough to have a baby all on his own?
Shaking my head, I tried to bring myself back to reality.
You are not going to entertain this thought, Aspen Dell!
But then I thought about him paying me top dollar. Basically, I’d sell him an egg that would be fertilized and then implanted back in my womb. Technically, my womb would be rented out for nine months, then the baby would be born and would belong to him. I assumed that was the way he wanted it.
And I could go on my merry way, finishing my master’s degree and then onward to the career that I would flourish in. And what if he planned on raising the baby. Alone.
Dad did it. Why can’t this guy?
No, there was no way I could do that. I pulled the paper out of my pocket, ready to toss it into the next trashcan I saw.
Funny thing. I didn’t see a single trashcan as I walked home.
Is this fate?
Chapter Five
Ransom
Lubbock, Texas – May 15th
Having placed posters around various places in Lubbock, I’d set up the framework for my idea that I thought was brilliant. Hiring a surrogate would allow me to produce the heir my grandfather now required, and I wouldn’t have anything binding me to some woman.
We both would get what we wanted. Not that I wanted a baby. But if it would mean I got to keep the money he would be leaving behind, so be it.
Plus, it would feel nice to have some blood in the world with me. That was one of the first things that came to mind—no longer being all alone.
This would fix everything. After the baby was born, I would just hire a nanny to raise him. It might mean that I would have to stay home a little more. But other than that, I didn’t see that my life would change that much.
The posters had been placed in areas where I thought smart women would be: libraries around town and several places around the college too.
So far, the calls I’d gotten hadn’t thrilled me. One woman sounded like she smoked. After watching my grandfather deal with lung cancer that probably resulted from his many years of smoking, I wasn’t keen on that.
Another asked me questions that made my skin crawl. Asking if I was going to do weird sexual things with this baby? Not that she minded, she just wanted to know. She made me sick. I didn’t want a thing to do with her.
Sitting on the garden patio behind my grandfather’s estate, I saw my cell vibrating on the table in front of me. Chelsea, one of the maids, came across the lush green carpet grass, carrying a tray of fruit and cheese and a carafe of red wine. A little snack before dinner.
Picking up the phone, I nodded at the young, pretty maid. Her features were great: high cheekbones, naturally flawless complexion, and shiny blond hair. She looked healthy enough. But I knew I couldn’t ask any of the staff to be the surrogate; they would be too close to me. The ties wouldn’t be easily broken unless I fired them, which would be the wrong thing to do.
As it was, my grandfather was currently onboard with my idea. If I went so far as to ask any member of his staff, he wouldn’t be onboard anymore.
“Thank you, Chelsea.” I took the wine, filling my empty glass.
“You’re welcome, sir.” She curtsied then turned to leave me.
Answering the call, I said, “Hello?”
“Hi, I’m calling about the surrogate job,” came a woman’s high-pitched nasally voice with a horrible southern twang.
She sounded old. “May I ask your age, ma’am?”
“Thirty-three. But I’ve got five kids. You know I’m fertile,” she let me know.
I wasn’t impressed. What kind of a woman who already has kids wants to have one for a stranger? Something had to be wrong with her.
“Is that so?” I drummed my fingers on the table, trying to decide how I would tell her that she was too old, and I thought something might be wrong with her mind. I was pretty sure it would not be a good idea to say those actual words.
“It is,” she went on as if she thought she was impressing me. “Shoot, I had my first one when I was sixteen and my last one when I was twenty-eight. I figure I can shoot another one out for ya. So, how much money are we talkin’ ‘bout here?”
Oh, how to tell her that there’s no way in hell that I’m going to allow her to be the biological mother of any child of mine?
“Well…” I said.
She cut me off, telling me more that she seemed certain would fill me with confidence that she was the right one for this job, “Now, don’t go lettin’ my age throw ya. My momma had kids up ‘til she was forty. And most of them were born alive. A couple were stillbirths. That’s understandable though. She had fifteen pregnancies between the ages of fourteen and forty. Now, that’s impressive. You’ve gotta admit that. And I am her daughter. I’ve got those great genes. And I can pass them on to your kid. And how much money did you say it was?”
The sound of my phone beeping had me pulling it back to find another number was calling. “I’ll have to call you another time. Sorry.”
“But…”
I pushed the button to switch over to the other caller, ending our stimulating conversation.
What a nut case.
“Hello?” I answered the call, praying it wasn’t another looney bird.
“Hello, this is Aspen Dell. I saw your poster.” She went quiet. “This was a bad idea. Sorry.”
Her voice was so light and sweet, but with an edge that told me she was smart too. “No, wait. Please. I would love to hear more. You said your name is Aspen Dell. Well, it’s nice to make your acquaintance, Aspen. I’m Ransom Whitaker.”
“Whitaker D
rilling Company?” she asked about my grandfather’s business.
“That belongs to my grandfather.” I loved the lilt she had to her slightly southern voice. I couldn’t let her off the line yet. “So, you’ve heard of us then?”
“I have. I’m a student at Texas Tech, majoring in petroleum engineering,” came her reply.
She’s intelligent!
My criteria for the mother of my child was very different from my criteria for girls I wanted to get into the sack with.
I wanted physically attractive candidates who were intelligent. I didn’t want to saddle my kid with some unattractive features and not much brain to work with after all.
I just had to ask, “So, I can tell that you’re an intelligent woman. Do you mind telling me about your physical appearance?”
“Well, I’m still not sure I’m going to do this.” She seemed hesitant, but then she went on, “I’m five-five with dark, naturally curly hair that goes to my waist and is very thick.”
“Is it soft?” I asked as I imagined it.
“Well, yes, it is.” She paused again. “My skin tone is naturally tan. My eyes are brown with dark green and gold flecks in them.”
“I do believe those are called hazel eyes, Miss Dell.” I had to make sure she was single. “It is miss, isn’t it?”
“Yes. I’m not married or anything like that. There’s no man to get in the way if you pick me.” She sighed. “Wait, I can’t do this. I can’t. I’m sorry for taking up your time.”
“Hold on now. There’s no reason for you to make any hasty decisions. Well, the decision needs to be a little bit rushed, but there’s still some time.” I thought it might ease her mind some to know the situation. “You see, my grandfather has cancer. At this point, the doctors are still trying to get rid of it with chemo and radiation, and I’m holding out hope for him.”
“That’s good,” she said. “You’ve got to have hope.”
“I do. But you see, he’s the only blood relative I have left. And he doesn’t want to leave me alone in this world. He’s kind of put the gun to my side and added to his will that I’ve got to have a baby before he passes on or his entire fortune will go to charity.” I had to hand it to the old cuss; he knew how to put the screws to a person to get his way.
The Virgin's Baby_A Forced Marriage Romance Page 3
