“Let me guess how he took it,” Margo wiggled her eyebrows at me. “He’s been at you like a dog in heat, right?”
I shook my head. “Wrong. I kind of thought that might happen, but that’s not what happened at all. He actually told me he was very sorry for not asking me more questions before we got as deep as we have into this thing. He said that he needs to work on himself. He’s been selfish and knows he needs to change. He’s actually been spending lots of time with his grandfather.”
“And have you met that man?” she asked.
I picked up my cup of water as I wasn’t allowed to consume caffeine, per the doctor’s orders. “I have. He’s very stoic. I’m sure he was a hard man when he was younger. Ransom has shown me pictures of his grandfather when he was in good health. He was handsome. He lost his wife when she was only thirty-five to dengue fever. She caught it when he took her on vacation to Hawaii. He never married again.”
“And his grandfather is cool with all this?” she asked. “Even the…you being a virgin thing?”
My face heated as I blushed. “He doesn’t know about that. Ransom nor I think he needs to know about that.”
“So, how do you feel about having a baby while you’re still a virgin?” She put the cup of coffee on the table to give me her full attention.
It was a little odd talking to her about it, but I felt like I needed to become more vocal. “I don’t know. Honestly, I’ve been kind of feeling lost lately. I don’t know if it’s the hormone injections or what. But I haven’t felt the same.”
“I’m sure it’s the shots. How can it not be the shots?” She looked up at the ceiling. “I don’t know how you’re doing this. I honestly don’t. I’ve been thinking about it a lot, and I don’t think you should do this just for the money, Aspen. I think there should be more. Like love and stuff. This is too shallow. I don’t like it for you.”
Somewhere deep inside of myself, I knew she was right. And I didn’t know how to explain things to her. “I think there are forces at work here that I don’t quite understand yet. But I think I am supposed to do this. I really do.”
“And I think you’re really desperate for money, and it’s making you think there are forces at work.” She picked up the coffee cup, taking a sip. “Be honest with me. How does Ransom treat you?”
I had to think about how to answer that question in a way that didn’t seem bad, not that I felt that he treated me poorly. I just wanted more from him than he wanted to give me. “Okay, here it is in a nutshell. I want that man more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my life. I dream about him. I think about him all the time. I want to carry his baby. I want to see that little version of us in our home.”
“Our home?” she asked.
“Yes.” That was one thing Ransom was insistent on. “He’s told me to call that place my home. I’m to make it my home in every way. He’s really nice about that.”
She looked at me with concern. “Is he not nice about some things?”
“No. He’s very nice about everything. I just don’t understand why he’s not attracted to me.” I twisted my hands together in frustration. “He’s got to give me four shots a day. In the middle of the night, he has to come to my bedroom, and he gives me one of the shots then. He tries hard not to wake me up when he does it. But I wake up as soon as he comes in.” I leaned forward to whisper the rest, “I want him, Margo. I want him just to take me already. I’m crazy about him.”
“And you’ve told him this?” she asked me as if that was a thing I could even do.
“No. God, no.” I took a drink of the water as I suddenly felt parched. “I could never do that. I keep all that to myself.”
She wore a puzzled expression. “Why?”
The girl was so clueless. “Margo, he’s not into me. Like, not at all, I don’t think. How can I tell him that I ache for him when he’s not attracted to me?”
“I can’t see how he’s not attracted to you.” She ran her hands over my cheeks. “You’re gorgeous. You’re funny. Nice. Sweet. And you’re a saint for having his baby. What’s not to love?”
“I’ve seen some pics of him and his buddies. They call themselves the Fearsome Foursome. I know it sounds totally gay, but they aren’t that way at all.” I thought about the pack of guys Ransom liked to run with. “Each one is drop-dead gorgeous. But I think Ransom beats them all in the looks and hot body department.”
Margo laughed, then smiled dreamily. “You better ask me to come over if any of them visit, Aspen. I mean that.”
I knew she did. “Okay, I’ll try. Anyway, any of the pictures I’ve seen show all the other guys with hot girls. Any girl I’ve ever seen on Ransom’s arm is always…” I have a hard time finding the right word as I didn’t want to be catty, “…plain. Kind of frumpy.”
Confused, she asked, “Are you telling me that he likes chunky, ugly girls?”
“No, I didn’t say he likes them.” It didn’t seem like he liked them to me. “He’s never kept one around for longer than a roll in the hay. So, I don’t think he’s into them the way it might seem. To be honest, I think that he knows he won’t fall for any of them. They’re easy prey is all.”
“Easy?” Margo asked as one brow arched. “He likes them easy,” she mused.
I had to clarify, “Again, I don’t think he likes easy girls. I think he just messes with them, so he doesn’t become attached to anyone.” I thought about all the times he looked at me and told me nice things that later made no sense. “He thinks I’m gorgeous. He remarks on every physical trait I have. And each time, he ends with something like you’re not my type at all. It’s kind of mind-melting.”
“I know you’re not into playing games, Aspen. And you most likely don’t even know how to play games. But this guy is playing them with you. He’s attracted to you. He would have to be half blind and half gay not to. He’s keeping you at arm’s length, so he doesn’t fall head over heels for you.”
I had to admit that I was getting so sexually frustrated that I was willing to play a game or two. “Any idea what I should do to get him to come around and give me what I want? No…need. I need him, Margo. I do.” I fanned myself as heat moved through me. “I feel like I’m going to die if I don’t get him to take what I feel is his for the taking.”
“I can teach you the ways of the dark side, Aspen. But you need to understand that getting him into your bed doesn’t mean he’ll stay there and stop his philandering ways. Can you handle that?”
Can I?
Could I take it if Ransom and I had sex on the regular, and then he went out and had it with other girls too?
“I can’t handle that. You’re going to have to teach me how to get him and keep him.” I knew Margo had it in her to do that. She’d had many boyfriends in her time. It was she who never wanted to keep them, not the other way around.
I was in good hands. And when she gave me the nod, I was elated.
“This takes time, Aspen. It’s not as fast a process as just getting a guy to show he’s interested in you. That stuff is easy. Getting him to see that he’s not only interested in you but wants only you takes time and patience. Do you feel that you have that patience at this time?”
I didn’t have any. Not an ounce of patience. But what I did have was the ability to set a goal and do what it takes to achieve it. “You have no idea how much more I fall for this guy each passing day. Our plans are to spend at least the next eighteen to twenty years living under the same roof and raising our kid or kids if we have more than one. And I can’t imagine doing that with anyone else.”
“Now that’s just weird, Aspen.” Margo shook her head. “I’m serious, girl. That’s not normal. You don’t know him well at all.”
“Do you believe in love at first sight, Margo?”
“No,” she answered quickly. “No, I don’t.”
“Well, I’m here to tell you that it’s real. From the moment I first saw him, I just knew that I would fall in love with him. And I have fallen in love with h
im.” I tried not to have another hot flash as I thought about him, but it didn’t work, and I broke out into a sweat.
“Oh, honey,” Margo said as she fanned me. “You’re sweating. I know it’s the shots now. They’re making you crazy.”
Crazy for him.
But I had to use my brain. Could she be right? Could it all be the hormones? And what would happen I was done with them?
To hell with it.
I didn’t care. “Tell me how to make him love me, Margo. I want to know. I’m not going to let you leave until you tell me how to do it. I want him. I want all of him. Every last bit of that man should be mine.”
She sighed then popped her knuckles. “This isn’t going to be easy for you, Aspen. But the hormones might actually help you do this.”
I was confident that she was going to tell me that I had to seduce Ransom—a thing I had no idea how to do. I wasn’t slick, cool, or remotely sexually adequate. I’d never even kissed a guy. It would take a miracle for me to be able to seduce that man.
Ransom was the seducer. Maybe she’d teach me how to make him do that to me. That would be so much easier than the other way around.
But when she spoke, words I didn’t understand came out of her mouth, “I’m going to teach you how to be a bitch, Aspen.”
Huh?
Chapter Seventeen
Ransom
Lubbock, Texas – May 31st
Even though it was seven in the evening, the sun was still relatively high in the clear blue sky, and the temperature was a sizzling ninety-three degrees. I’d donned my swimming trunks after dinner to take a dip in the pool to cool off.
Aspen had gone into town to visit her friend Margo for the day. She managed to make it home just before dinner in time for next shot. I found her acting differently towards me: cool, somewhat distant, and she hardly ever made eye contact.
When I invited her to join me for a swim, she turned me down flat with no reason why. A simple ‘no thanks’ was all I got, and it left me feeling a little weird.
When I’d asked her what she would be doing to entertain herself, she told me not to worry about it. She sounded kind of bitchy when she’d said it.
As I swam a few laps around the pool, I chalked it up to the hormone injections. After all, the side effects did include moodiness. The doctor had explained the importance of not pushing Aspen when she was in a foul mood. She’d also suggested I do things to take her out of that mood while trying not to bother her about it.
I thought about going up to find her and giving her a foot rub or even a back rub if she wanted one. But then my cock got interested, and I backed off from that idea.
The fact was I wanted Aspen. The virginity thing had only served to further pique my interest in her. It was my selfish streak that stopped me, as backward as that might seem.
Seeing myself for what I truly was had been an eye-opener for me. I’d made sure to spend as much time as I possibly could with Grandad. And I treated Aspen with respect at all times. I wanted her to know that I wasn’t after a piece of virgin ass. And that was hard. But she was giving so much of herself to this baby that I had to try to put that out of my mind.
Flipping over to do the backstroke for my next lap, I spotted the curtains moving on the top floor above me. Had Aspen been watching me?
I wasn’t sure of that. It could’ve been one of the staff members. But I wondered if Aspen did watch me at times. I wondered if she did want me the way I wanted her.
This had never been like me. I was the aggressor. It was me who took the lead, and women did as I wanted them to. But I couldn’t be that way with Aspen.
Not only because I needed so much from her. Not only because I wanted her to be around for a very long time. But because she intimidated me a bit.
Aspen was strong. Smart. And sexier than she realized.
Quite frankly, she was more woman than I was used to. Her head was straight. Her mind, sharp. And her presence, inspiring. She was the total package.
My kid would be lucky to have her as a mother. She had this aura that shone out from deep inside of her, and it just let you know that she would be a wonderful person, even though she didn’t talk a whole hell of a lot.
I wouldn’t call her shy, but I would call her a little reclusive. And she was tightlipped about things that concerned her. Her past, her present, and her future were things I knew little to nothing about.
Maybe that was my fault? I supposed I could’ve initiated conversations that would give me more information about her. But anytime I was around her, I had to fight myself to make sure I was doing the right thing where she was concerned: keep my hands to myself, so to speak; watch what I said and how I said it; try not to flirt, which was hard for me.
In short, I had to be the respectable man I knew she needed me to be with her.
To be that guy, I mostly had to stay away from her and make sure there was plenty of space between us. Because when we were close, I felt this energy all around us, like we were in a vortex or something, and if I wasn’t careful, we’d get sucked under.
I couldn’t afford to get sucked under. I couldn’t afford to alienate the mother of my child. And I knew I would do that if we ever had sex. If I ever gave in to what I wanted from her, I would effectively get her under me. Once that happened, I would look at her with different eyes. She would no longer be that strong woman in my eyes. She would become just another notch on my bedpost—a woman with no more will than the last.
I’d never told a soul about what I’d seen my mother do when I was young. I’d kept it to myself, and sometimes I’d even hidden it from myself.
I loved Mom. Dad loved Mom. No one would want that to end. And if I had told a single person about the things I’d seen, it would’ve all ended.
My life would’ve turned out different. I knew I’d been right to keep it to myself. But keeping it inside made it a bit of a sore where the secrets were stashed. A sore place near my heart. It made it impossible to fully trust a woman. At least for me, it did.
The door to the patio opened and out came Dumphy. Alejandro was walking in just behind him. They’d caught me completely by surprise. “What the hell are you guys doing here?”
Dumphy was all smiles. “We surprised ya, huh?”
Pulling myself up on the side of the pool, I got out then grabbed a towel. “What has you boys in town?”
“A little bit of business with your oil company—and you, of course.” Alejandro grabbed my hand, pulling me in for a side-to-side bro-hug. “Plus, it’s Saturday. We figured you could show us a good time at one of Lubbock’s finest nightclubs.”
“Oh, guys, no.” I gave Dumphy a bro-hug too. “I’ve got to give Aspen injections every six hours. She gets one at one in the morning. If I go out with you guys, I won’t be back in time.”
Alejandro took a seat on one of the lounge chairs, stretching out his long legs. “Can’t you get a maid to do it, bro? It’s been a while since we’ve hung out.”
Can I?
I shook my head as Dumphy frowned at me. “I can’t. But I can steer you guys in the right direction if you want.”
Dumphy took a seat too. “Sit down, Ransom. We’ve got to talk to you. It’s about this situation.”
With a deep sigh, I took a seat and readied myself for an argument. “Just say what you’ve got to say, and then I’ll say my piece.”
“Cool,” Alejandro said. “You see, you’ve got your priorities all screwed up. Tell me, have you had this woman sign any type of a legal agreement keeping your inheritance safe?”
His family business was in law. I should’ve expected this out of him. “No, I haven’t. We’re not getting married or anything. She’s being compensated for even living here. Why would she ever want more than what I’m giving her?”
Dumphy laughed. “Ask my father. His six wives have more money than God, thanks to them each robbing him when they left him.”
Dumphy was forgetting a common factor in his father’s divorces. “W
ell, your dad did cheat on every one of them. I think he knew he had those trips to the cleaners coming.”
Alejandro nodded. “He did, bro. My family’s law firm represented two of his ex-wives.” He turned his attention to me. “But you have yet to ask for our services, Ransom. Why is that exactly?”
“For starters, she’s not even pregnant yet. I don’t see the need for any kind of legal agreement at this point. And we’re still on somewhat shaky ground as anyone could expect.” I looked up as I saw the curtain move on the upper floor again.
It has to be her.
She had to be wondering who I was talking to down here. I wondered if she would come down to introduce herself to my friends. I knew any other female wouldn’t miss the chance to meet a couple of wealthy bachelors who weren’t hard to look at.
My insides went hot with what I thought might be jealousy. Since I’d never had an attack of that before, it was hard to tell.
Probably just indigestion from the enchiladas at dinner.
Dumphy had to put his two cents out there, “In my opinion, you shouldn’t be doing this.”
“I know that.” My eyes rolled all on their own. “You’ve already told me this over the phone.”
“Yeah, well, I thought it needed to be said in person since you didn’t listen to me before,” Dumphy added. “Can we meet this trick? I want to see what she’s like.”
“First of all, don’t call her a trick. She’s not one. She’s far from any girl any of us has ever met. She’s rare. I can tell you that.” I felt pride swelling up in my chest but wasn’t sure why that was.
Alejandro sat up with a grin on his face. “Let us meet her then. Let us be the judges.”
Dumphy agreed, “Yeah, let us be the judges. Don’t you respect our opinions?”
“I don’t need you to judge her. Nor do I want you to.” I had a huge rush of adrenaline all of a sudden and got up. “As a matter of fact, I won’t allow either of you to judge her. She’s perfect. I mean perfect in every way. She’s gorgeous, personable, even sweet most of the time. The hormone injections have made some temporary adjustments to her normal attitude, but that’s to be expected. And I will not have anyone say a bad word about Aspen. I mean it.”
The Virgin's Baby_A Forced Marriage Romance Page 10
