by Jean Kelso
“Sleep well, babe.”
I hit end on the phone and set it on the stand again. Then I roll back over and get comfortable. Sleep takes me not long after.
***
I wake to the sound of the television. Gabe must be here. Since I gave him that key, he definitely puts it to use. I slowly get out of bed and work my way towards the living room where I can see him. Gabe sits on the couch. Probably watching a movie.
I stop in the kitchen and notice my mail sitting on the counter. Another little piece of me melts for the man who sits not five feet from me. All the little things he does…He may not think I notice, but I do.
I lean down against the counter with elbows on the surface and my chin in my hands. As I stare at Gabe and smile, I take it all in. I never thought I’d let someone into my cold, broken heart. The past I suffered in college was so damaging, I never thought I’d be able to trust or love someone ever. Especially someone with such a strong character. Gabe snuck in. Little by little, he wiggled himself through the cracks I didn’t think I had exposed, and my heart is beginning to accept him. At first my heart and mind didn’t want to agree, but now with everything going on with my health, together they submit to him. Don’t get me wrong, that little bit of fear is still there, but I’m able to box it off deep in the hidden depths of my mind. Thus far nothing has triggered it. I plan to have a heart to heart with Gabe when I feel better to discuss the future of us. That is, if he wants a future with me.
I pick up an envelope with a sigh and open it. I’m not prepared for what I find inside.
Dear Miss Jones,
I apologize in the delay of informing you about this piece of information, but your case with Mr. Stacks was reviewed. He was recommended for early parole and he was granted an early release. Mr. Stacks was released from prison last week. He was paroled with no controlled circumstances. Again, I apologize for the late notice.
Sincerely,
Robert Bonner
Attorney at Law
The letter slips from my hands and bile rushes up my throat, burning as it comes. I turn and run to the bathroom. I stumble into walls along the way and kick the door open. Then I fall to my knees and vomit into the toilet.
Memories of that night flash before my eyes and I vomit again. Chills creep up my spine, and I begin to cry. It feels like it just happened yesterday—the rape, court, everything. I squeeze my eyes shut and try to block it all out, but when I do that, Mike’s threat starts to ring in my ears. I will fucking kill you, bitch! Over and over it repeats.
Gabe must have heard my urgent exit from the kitchen, because the next thing I know, he’s pulling my hair from out of my face and holding it back while I lean over the toilet. I gasp in short breaths. While I retch bile, Gabe begins to rub my back.
“You okay, Belle?” Gabe’s voice is full of concern.
I can’t answer him. I don’t think I can. My thoughts are a jumbled mess. They scatter about my past and the future I may never get to have. My whole body begins to ache as my muscles stiffen with every thought of the things Mike did to me back then. I can’t remember if I told Gabe about him and what all he did to me. I think I did, but right now I’m not sure about anything. All I know is that Mike’s out. He is on the loose. He is going to find me and he will kill me. He told me he would. For months after Mike was sentenced his friends harassed me with the same threat, but I could never prove anything.
I have to get out of here. I have to hide. I can’t let Mike hurt me or Gabe. I lift my head and push up from the toilet, but I get to my feet too fast. Dizziness hits me quick and hard. I fall backwards into Gabe.
“Whoa, babe. Where’s the fire?” He chuckles. Gabe holds me in his arms and stands us both up.
On my feet again, I don’t hesitate. I shift from Gabe’s hold, go to the sink, rinse my mouth and then brush my teeth. Once the feel and taste of vomit is gone from my mouth, I leave the bathroom. I head to the kitchen again with Gabe hot on my tail.
“Belle, what the fuck is going on?” Gabe asks. He sounds frustrated. I know he doesn’t know why I’m acting this way, so I need to show him.
Once in the kitchen I grab the letter and shove it into Gabe’s hands while I go in search of my cell phone. I need to call Mel. She needs to know Mike’s out. She isn’t safe either. Mel was in that courtroom, too. She was on that witness stand on my behalf, helping me put that asshole away.
I’m in my bedroom already when I hear a very loud “Fuck!” come from the kitchen. Footsteps stomp down the hall.
“Belle, is this the asshole that hurt you?” he asks.
Yep, I must have told him. “Yes,” I mumble as I begin to search the contacts on my phone. I don’t look up at Gabe. I can’t or I’ll break. I need to control my emotions right now. I need to inform Mel, prepare and plan.
I hit dial once I find Mel on the list. She picks up on the first ring. “What’s up girl?” she asks, always the chipper one.
“Mel.” I get right to the point, no need to dance around it. “He’s out.”
I hear her gasp and I wait. As much as I know she is a happy-go-lucky kind of girl, when it comes to my past, Mel’s a huge badass bitch. I know she’s going to lose her ever-loving mind, so I count it off. Three, two, one…
“Motherfucking bitch! Are you serious?” I can hear her grit her teeth through the phone.
I want to laugh at her antics, because she sounds hilarious when she swears, but now isn’t the time for laughter. “Dead fucking serious, Mel. He was released last week. Just got the notice today. Fucking lawyer sucks ass.” I growl a little. The fact that my lawyer didn’t prepare me for this makes me angry, but my fear overpowers everything. “What are we going to do?” I ask.
Gabe grabs the phone from my hand, glares at me and speaks sternly to Mel. “She’ll call you back, Mel.” Gabe hangs up on her.
“What the fuck, Gabe. I was talking to her.” I narrow my eyes at him. I can’t believe he did that.
“Belle! I’d like to be part of this. I need to be part of this. Let me in! Talk to me. Let me help.” Gabe reaches his hand to the back of his neck and blows out a breath. “I know parts of the story, Belle, but not everything. Tell me everything, please.” He sits on the bed.
I take a slow breath, exhale and sit beside him on the bed. I know it must be hard for him to sit on the sidelines and watch. I’ve never wanted to let anyone else in on my past. With it coming back to me…well, it makes it worse.
I can’t let Gabe sit and stew over it. If he wants to help, then I’ll try to let him. I face him and begin to explain my torrid tale. I tell every explicit detail—since he wants it all—from the beginning of when I met Mike in college, to how he treated me. I describe to Gabe every little detail of the night of the rape and the whole court fiasco. I explain that Mike was to spend ten years in prison, but according to the letter, he got early parole.
Gabe listens and holds my hands through the whole talk. I watch his facial expressions when I detail the rape to him. I think his stomach turns just as much as mine as I explain. It’s not a night I want to live through again. It took a very long time to repress that memory and the triggers that came with it—and it all came back with that stupid letter. Eight years of a somewhat normal life now vanished. I hope I’m able to keep myself from shattering.
Gabe reaches up and pushes some loose hairs behind my ear. His touch is gentle and loving. I know the man cares. It breaks my heart to have to explain this crap to him, to drag him into my shitty past…but Gabe’s touch feels nice. I’m beginning to crave it. I lean into his hand and smile.
Gabe looks into my eyes and leans closer to me. He takes hold of my face with his hands as he speaks. “You’ve become a huge part of my life, Belle. There’s no way I’m going to let some asshole ruin what we have here.”
I feel tears start to stream down my cheeks as I hear those words. Words I never thought I’d hear or deserve.
“We’ll take one day at a time. If you need to stay at my place,
then that’s what we’ll do. I’ll keep you safe, Belle.” Gabe leans right into me and presses his lips to mine. Passion takes hold of me, something that I’ve never felt before.
An emotion I can’t explain begins to swim through me as our lips and tongues tango together. Fear be damned! Gabe’s touch is a good distraction. I wrap my arms around his neck and pull myself even closer to him. Our bodies meld together as one, fitting like layers of skin--meant to be. I let myself go and let Gabe take over. His power over me, the control he has, is phenomenal. Gabe knows just what my body craves and gives it everything, sending me into utter bliss. All my worries and fears are forgotten—At least for the moment.
***
We’re in each other’s arms as we lay on the couch. Time to relax is a must. I’m rather tired after telling Gabe everything, and it feels good to just lay here in his arms. Music plays softly in the now dim room. Gabe runs his fingers up my torso and kisses my shoulder when I turn my head to look at him. “He’s going to come after me,” I whisper to him.
Never stopping his touch, Gabe wraps his leg around mine. “He can try, but he won’t get to you.” He leans down and kisses my lips softly. Then Gabe pulls me closer as if shielding my body with his. “You’re mine to protect now. I’ll do everything in my power to protect you, Belle. Now sleep.” Gabe lays his head back down and I feel his muscles relax.
CHAPTER 11
Belle
A KNOCK ON MY DOOR startles me awake. I have to slowly wiggle out of Gabe’s arms which still wrap around me. I cover myself in a blanket that’s on the back of the couch and look at the time. It’s midnight. Who could be at my door at midnight? A chill goes up my spine. Should I wake Gabe? No, I’m a grown woman. I can answer my own door.
I walk slowly and quietly to my door. I check my peephole and see nothing. A look back to check on Gabe which shows me that he’s still asleep. I take a deep breath and slowly unlock the door. The door creaks slightly as I open it and I cringe. No one’s outside the door. I peek my head out and look around. Still there’s nothing.
“Hmm, that’s strange,” I mumble. I close and lock the door again thinking to myself that maybe I’m just hearing things, letting my situation get the best of me.
I make my way back over to Gabe, careful not to trip over anything in the dark. I bend over the side of the couch and kiss him on the lips. “Wake up, hot stuff. Let’s go to the bed. It’s cold out here.” I watch Gabe stir awake and hear him grumble. Not much of a happy camper being woken up, I guess. I snicker to myself.
“What’s up, babe?” Gabe yawns and grumbles. He blinks his eyes at me as he rolls to sit up on the side of the couch.
I smile at him and his nakedness. Gabe has such a strong, beautiful body. It’s so hard not to touch him all the time, especially when he says that I’m his, which in turn makes him mine. “It’s cold out here. Let’s go snuggle under the blankets in bed.” I start towards the bedroom.
Gabe isn’t far behind, I know. I hear a low throaty growl, and I smirk. Then a smack on my ass makes me jump and giggle. I move faster, knowing what Gabe had in mind.
“Seeing that fine ass sway in front me…Damn the things you do to me.” Gabe’s on me in seconds. I don’t get the chance to turn around or pull the blankets down. Facedown on the bed I go. I laugh as Gabe leans down with a smirk on his face. Another smack on my ass and my hands are over my head. Gabe’s firm grip holds me and instantly my mind begins to wander.
“Stop!” I speak loudly. “Let go of my hands. Not this way, Gabe. I can’t.” I wiggle out of his grasp and turn my head to look at him. “Please...”
Gabe moves off of me and sits on the edge of the bed. He bends his head down to his hands. “Shit! I’m sorry, Belle.” He looks up at me, a look of pain if I’ve ever seen it, and then back down.
I sit up beside him. I’m not mad at him—I just can’t do it that way. Not yet at least. I still need to work on that. With Gabe’s help, maybe one day soon I can. “Gabe, it’s okay. I’m just not ready for that.” I reach over and force him to look me in the eye. “I want to do that for you, but I need time.” I plead to him with my eyes, my words— my heart. I’m falling hard. So hard for Gabe. I’d do anything for him, but I just need him to understand me first. Understand the triggers and help me get over them.
Gabe smiles a sad smile in return, but pulls me into him for a hug. “I got you, babe. Let’s just sleep. Tomorrow’s a new day. We’ll start fresh.”
We stand up. Gabe pulls the blankets down and tucks us both into the bed.
In Gabe’s arms—with my head on his chest—I can hear his heartbeat, feel his breath and his warm skin against mine. I could sleep like this every night, but I know I have to take it one day at a time. I close my eyes and pray for a happy future with Gabe.
***
I wake from a restless sleep. Having had nightmares for the rest of the night, I feel exhausted. I need more coffee than my little Keurig can provide at one time. I stand in my sun-filled kitchen, wearing the tank and boxer shorts I tossed on prior to leaving my room. I lean on the counter and watch as the little machine brews the delicious smelling cup of caffeine. I figure if I watch it long enough that maybe it’ll brew faster. Wishful thinking here.
I can hear Gabe in the bathroom. The water runs in the shower and I closed my eyes with a smile on my face. I can picture Gabe’s naked body as water runs down his chest, his abs and sexy ass, and I get all tingly inside. What’s this man doing to me? To think I once told myself that I’d never love a man, that I’d never deserve the love of a man. Here I am now. It’s been a struggle, but I am actually happy. Who would’ve thought?
A knock on the door brings me out of my glorious daze. My coffee finishes brewing at the same time. I take my cup from the machine and walk to the door. When I look through the peephole I see nothing. I unlock the door and slowly open it. Again I peek my head out and look around. Nothing. “I must be losing it,” I mumble to myself as I close the door and lock it again. I return to the kitchen to get a coffee started for Gabe.
The water pipes groan as the water turns off. I know Gabe’s naked and wet. The thought makes me a little damp in the panties. I shake the thought of jumping him before I even finish my coffee. I leave the kitchen and head to the living room to sit in my comfy chair.
As I sip my hot beverage and soak up the delicious taste and smell of the French Vanilla roast, I almost don’t hear Gabe come into the room. He holds my cell in his hand.
“Mel’s on the phone, babe.” Gabe smiles big and confidently. Only a towel covers him from the waist to his knees. What a glorious specimen Gabe is with his muscled-pecs and well-defined abs. I just want to eat him up. But I can’t right now.
I return the smile and lick my lips. I try not to be too obvious as I thank him. “Thanks, babe.” I take the phone from him and watch him walk back towards the bedroom. I assume to get dressed. “Hey, Mel. What’s up chick?”
I can hear voices and traffic in the background. Mel must be on her way to work. “Hey, girl. Just checking in and making sure you are okay. I got a letter from the lawyer this morning about his release, too.” I hear her sigh loudly. I know it scares her just like it does me. We were the only two witnesses to take the stand. We put him behind bars. Why wouldn’t we be scared? “I think you and I need to have a talk soon. There’s something else I need to talk to you about.”
“I hope it is nothing serious. Are you okay?” It’s not often that Mel openly tells me that we need to have a sit down. Since she wants to now, means something’s up. “I’m free whenever you are. Just stop by when you can.” I try to sound cheerful and brave, but I know she doesn’t believe it.
“Just try to stay relaxed. I’ll stop by after work. I’m working the short shift today. Love you chick.” Mel hangs up.
I set my phone down on the table in front of me. Then I sit back and try to think of what Mel could have to talk to me about. Is something going on at work? Did something happen between her and that guy s
he started seeing? I wrack my brain and come up empty-handed. Guess I’ll have to wait and see.
I hear Gabe before I feel him or see him. I’m not saying he’s heavy, but in my small apartment, sound travels and it’s a rather quiet morning. I turn just as I feel him touch my shoulders and lean down to kiss the top of my head.
“Mmm. Morning,” I tease. “Coffee is ready for you in the kitchen.” I look up at him and smile.
“So I need to go to the bar today for inventory. You want to come or do you have plans?” Gabe asks as he walks to the kitchen to grab his coffee.
I watch Gabe’s gorgeous ass in his denim jeans as he walks. Sexual thoughts begin to swim through my mind. He distracts me so thoroughly that I don’t hear him come back into the room.
“Belle, babe. Did you hear me?” Gabe chuckles.
I give an innocent smirk. “Nope.” He knows exactly where my thoughts were. There’s no way my thoughts aren’t heating my pale skin to a nice rose pink color right this moment.
Gabe walks over to me and stands in front of the chair I sit in. He reaches down, takes hold of my hands and pulls me up. Wraps his arms around me, cups my ass and squeezes. “Is my girl thinking dirty thoughts after only one cup of coffee?” He grins at me.
I slide my tongue across my teeth and bite my bottom lip. “I’m not even finished my first cup.” I pronounce the p with a pop and return his grin. I wrap my arms around Gabe’s neck and stand on my tip-toes as I lean in for a kiss.
All I get is a little peck on the lips. Nothing to satisfy the craving I have for him at the moment. “You can’t imagine how hard it is to say no to you right now, babe. But I need to get to work.” Gabe squeezes my ass again and grinds his pelvis into me. I can feel his hardness and can’t deny that he wants me. What a tease he’s being! Stupid men. Never playing fair.
I take a slow, deep breath and stand down. I move my arms down to Gabe’s chest and lean my forehead there as well. I want to be at least held by him. He moves his hands from my back side and cuddles me closer, into a tight hug.
