“Did you know? Did Papa tell you what he’d done?”
Mama shook her head. “I have no notion what you are referring to. Please say something other than questions.”
“I can’t. Not here. Not in the carriage with Papa. I will tell you when we are home.”
Gathering all her inner strength, Susan managed to hold back her tears during the ride home in their carriage. She quickly said goodnight and rushed up to her room, where her maid waited to help her undress. Once she was safely wrapped in her sheets, she let the tears come.
By now the anger had gone. Her tears came slowly, a great sorrow pulling her down like a whirlpool. She would ask to return to Huntfield, tomorrow if possible.
Mama tapped on the door and entered wearing a wrapper over her nightshift. She bustled to a chair beside the bed. “Now, my dear, please tell me what is amiss.”
“I should have told you from the start, but I was afraid you and Papa would have discouraged me. You see, I want to use Aunt Hildebrand’s house as a school for the poor children, but I needed more money than my income brings each year. I spoke to some of your friends‑I’m surprised they all kept my secret‑but I was not quite at my goal. Somehow I mentioned this to Lord Knightwick and he agreed to help me find sponsors.”
She drew in a shaky breath and blew her nose on her handkerchief. “I thought it was from the goodness of his heart, but now I wonder if he has one.”
Mama gasped. “Lord Knightwick? He has always been an upstanding gentleman. What did he do to you?”
“He and Papa had an agreement. If Lord Knightwick could convince some man to marry me, he’d get a foal in return.”
“Your father agreed to this?” Mama’s face grew red and she grasped the edges of her wrapper in fisted hands.
“I heard him say so. Papa thought I’d marry Lord Knightwick and he wouldn’t have to give up a foal.”
“I can’t believe he’d do such a thing. You must have misunderstood.”
“I wish I hadn’t heard it at all. Now I wonder if any of the gentlemen who’ve spoken kindly to me were only doing so at Lord Knightwick’s request. They never paid me any mind in the past.”
Rising to settle on the bed beside Susan, Mama stroked her hair away from her face. “You wouldn’t let them, my dear. You hid yourself away at any opportunity. Your countenance was polite, but not welcoming. They likely felt you had no interest in them.”
“It’s true, I had no desire to even be at a ball.”
“In recent weeks, there is a glow in your cheeks and a sparkle in your eye that doesn’t dim when a gentleman approaches. It encourages them to speak to you.”
“I still have no interest in them, Mama. In any man. I wish to go home. If your friends are still willing to sponsor the school, I will make do with what money I have raised. Do you think Papa will allow it? It’s my money and I’m of age to use it as I wish.”
“I think your father will be quite proud of you. You are so good to think of others as you do.”
Mama stood and pulled her wrapper closed. “I will order the carriage be readied for us tomorrow. Papa can follow as he wishes, or go on to the next race meeting. You will feel right again when you are working on your school.”
“Thank you, Mama. I love you.”
“I love you, too, my pretty girl.”
~*~
The following morning, Knightwick called on Hannah to determine if he could assist her in any way with the card party. While he was there, the footman brought in a note.
Hannah unfolded it and read. Her slender eyebrows drew together. “Lady Susan regrets that she will not be attending our party. She is called suddenly to Huntfield.”
He frowned. “I hope all is well with her sisters. I shall call on her father to be certain.”
“What will you do now? Will you seek pledges from the ladies I’ve invited, in Susan’s stead?”
He strode to the bookcase, not really seeing the books. “I suppose I must. I know enough of her plans to give a fair recounting of them. Won’t she be surprised to return to Town and find she has all the money she needs.”
Hannah folded the note and tucked it in her pocket. “Indeed. Almost as surprised as I am to be hosting an evening of cards.”
Knightwick’s good spirits vanished when he spoke to the earl later.
“Susan was quite distraught when she left Town,” Huntfield said. “My lady wife wasn’t able to tell me the whole of it, but somehow the girl had the impression I’d paid you to find her a husband.”
“What?”
“That’s exactly my reaction. She heard mention of the foal. She took it to be a matchmaking fee, I imagine. The poor girl was beside herself, her mother said.”
Closing his eyes, Knightwick swore. He’d known how foolish this entire scheme had been when he agreed to it. “I’m sorry she overheard us. She must have misunderstood.”
“Misunderstood what? Everything we said was the truth. You were to help her find a husband. I was willing to consider giving you the foal you’d been asking for.”
“It wasn’t as simple as that, was it? I don’t remember it that way.” He began to pace as if he’d find his thoughts somewhere around the room. “I had been asking for the use of Raven, that much is true. And you sought my assistance in showing Lady Susan to her best advantage. But the two were not directly related.”
Knightwick turned and met Huntfield’s gaze. “Were they?”
“Of course not. I’d never sell my daughter’s affections in such a way. And certainly not so cheaply.” Huntfield sighed and tugged his gold waistcoat down over his protruding middle. “I’ve made a mess of this.”
“We both have. She’ll never speak to me now.” A large hole opened up in his heart at the thought. She’d become a good friend.
“You needn’t fear any awkwardness. I doubt she’ll accompany me to any future race meetings. You likely won’t have cause to see her again.”
“I will leave you now. Although I doubt she’ll hear them, please extend my apologies to Lady Susan.”
He could never make this up to her. If he’d had any influence on her at all regarding her feelings toward marriage, those were gone now. She’d never marry. Never know the happiness of filling her heart with the love of a husband and family.
The idea was like a knife to his gut.
This was all his fault. What had begun in jest had erupted into what had to be the destruction of Lady Susan’s ability to trust anyone, much less fall in love.
How could he remedy this? He’d never be able to heal the wound, but he could apply a balm of some sort, couldn’t he?
He could. He must tell Hannah to go forward with their plans for the card party. He’d find Lady Susan her sponsors and at least show he believed in what was closest to her heart.
~*~
At Hannah’s home the next evening, Knightwick took advantage of the intimate setting of a small group at his table to bring up the subject of Lady Susan’s school. “It’s such a generous idea, don’t you think, Lady Raleigh?”
“It sounds rather revolutionary to me. What will come of us if the poor are as educated as the nobility? Will there be nothing to separate us but our income?”
Knightwick raised an eyebrow but kept silent as he tossed down his cards.
“I’m all for schooling for everyone,” Mrs. Parry said.
He added her to his mental list to speak to in more detail.
During breaks, he strolled about the room, sizing up his chances of success with each one. In addition to Mrs. Parry, Lady Nighbury had committed some funds, and Mrs. Elbert had said she’d consider it and discuss it with her husband.
He considered the evening a success. He’d write to Lady Susan…well, perhaps he’d have Hannah write her, and tell her he would have these final sponsors contact her. She could establish her school after all.
Chapter 7
Huntfield
Rather than send a letter, Knightwick felt he should call upon Lady Susan
in person and offer his apologies‑grovel, if necessary‑in hopes of restoring some of the girl’s faith in her fellow man, if nothing else.
How crushed she must have been to hear what she did. He pressed a fist to the burning pain in his gut that had arisen in recent days. If a man had done to his sisters what he’d done to Lady Susan, he’d call the man out. It didn’t matter that her own father was as complicit in the scheme. In fact, that probably made it worse. If she couldn’t trust her father, how could she believe what any other man said?
As the groom led away Knightwick’s horse, he approached the butler awaiting him in the doorway.
“Lord Knightwick to see Lady Huntfield.”
“I shall see if she’s at home to visitors.” The butler allowed Knightwick to wait in the entry hall.
After he’d ridden three hours to call upon them, they’d better allow him inside. If not, he’d wait under a tree on the lane until someone would see him.
Shortly the butler returned. “If you’ll follow me, your lordship.”
Lady Huntfield sat in the drawing room and motioned for Knightwick to take a chair. “I’m happy to see you, my boy. Rather surprised, but happy. You are well?”
“I am, thank you.”
“And your family is well?”
“Quite well, ma’am. How is Lady Susan?” He cut straight through the small talk.
“She is in the village at the moment. She is overseeing the preparations for a school in town. I believe she mentioned her plans to you.”
“Yes. That’s why I’ve come, in part. I have some news for her.”
Lady Huntfield glanced at a small clock on the mantelpiece. “She should return shortly. You are welcome to wait for her. I’ll ring for some tea.”
“Thank you. That’s very generous of you.”
The next hour dragged with polite talk, but the hour after that, the conversation turned to racing. Lady Huntfield paid much more attention to the horses than Knightwick would have thought, certainly more than his mother.
Finally the front door opened and light footsteps rang out. The sound carried up the stairs and in another direction at the landing.
Knightwick sighed, and looked at the clock. If the butler told her Knightwick awaited her, would she come to the drawing room or refuse to see him?
A short time later his question was answered when she entered the room.
“There you are, my dear. Look who has come to call upon us. Lord Knightwick.”
“I see,” Lady Susan said as she took a seat beside her mother on the settee. “How do you do?”
“I am well, thank you. Your mother tells me you’ve begun preparing for your school.”
“Yes.”
The brevity of the single word said so much about her feelings toward him. “I’m pleased to hear it.”
He glanced toward the window where the sun poured in through lace curtains. “Would you care to walk with me, Lady Susan? I’m eager to see your father’s estate.”
She looked at her mother, then at her hands clenched in her lap. “Yes, thank you.”
Lady Susan donned her gloves and bonnet and walked beside him out the front door. She left a greater distance between them as they went, as if she feared having her skirts brush against him.
“I owe you an immense apology that words could never equal.”
“You are correct. You needn’t trouble yourself with an attempt to convey it.”
He flinched at her sharp tone. “If I could, I would spend a lifetime trying to show how sorry I am for what I did.” As he said the words, he knew them to be true. He cared about her more than he’d admit to anyone. “As I only have as brief a time as you will spare me, I offer you this.” He took a note from his pocket and handed it to her.
She took it and turned it in her hands without unfolding it.
“You needn’t fear it’s a feeble attempt at begging your forgiveness. I don’t hold much hope of that ever happening. No, you will find written there a list of the sponsors I was able to find for your school, and the amount they are willing to offer. Lord and Lady Oakhurst asked me to tell you that should you need anything in the future, you need only let them know. They will be happy to assist you in any way.”
Without looking up, she whispered, “Thank you.”
His heart ached that she wouldn’t speak to him, but he could expect nothing better. “I make the same offer. If you are ever in need of me, send word and I will come.”
He paused, hoping for one last chance of her meeting his gaze.
She did not.
Knightwick sighed. “I will leave you, then. Please thank your mother for allowing me to call. I will trouble you no more.”
He strode off in search of the groom.
~*~
Susan ran up the stairs, ignoring her mother’s calls from the drawing room. She clenched Knightwick’s letter in her shaking hand, both eager and afraid to open it.
Throwing herself on her bed, she unfolded the paper.
Four names were written there, and a number beside each that was greater than she could have hoped for. A much better sum than she’d asked from her mother’s friends. She could now board another three or four pupils, and perhaps even bring in a dance tutor.
She smiled at the thought. Dancing was not something these children would have a need for, except perhaps in small gatherings with friends. They’d likely learn a few country-dances from their parents and be happy with that.
What she could do was offer the vicar a slightly higher stipend for his tutorage. And bring by bushels of apples or freshly baked biscuits.
Happiness filled her, spilling out in laughter. She no longer need worry about whether she could keep her school open through the years. The income from the money the sponsors provided would even cover repairs to the house when needed, so she wouldn’t have to pay the cost from her own money, that which wasn’t already set aside from the school.
She looked again at the paper, at Lord Knightwick’s fine penmanship. Her finger traced over the letters as though she’d understand him somehow through the ink from his pen. Was he really the proud but generous man she’d first thought him to be?
How could he be, to agree to such an arrangement as he had with her father? The recollection of his words at the ball that night threatened to destroy her joyous moment. She’d only begun to admit to herself how deeply she missed the time she’d spent with him. Most of all she missed being able to talk freely around him, to be herself with no worry of condescension.
Which was the true character of the man? The two facets of him didn’t align at any point. A man so kind and generous, so lighthearted and pleasant to be around could never be so deceitful.
Yet her father had been complicit in the act. That hurt almost as much as Lord Knightwick’s part in it. She couldn’t imagine Papa had pretended all this time to love her.
Jumping to her feet, she marched down to the drawing room. “Mama, I must speak with you.”
Her mother set down her book. “What is it, dear? Did you enjoy your visit with Lord Knightwick? He didn’t stay long, after traveling so far to see you.”
“That’s not why I’m here. I wish to ask you about Papa.”
“Your father? How odd. What is it you wish to know?”
“How could he make a wager on my future as he did? I thought he loved me. Is he truly so shallow?”
Mama shook her head. “Men don’t see things the way we do, dear. He thinks finding you a husband is how he can best demonstrate his love. He wants to know you’ll be taken care of when he’s gone.”
Susan held her hands out in question. “He knows Aunt Ferrars has seen to my future. There’s no need for him to worry.”
“You’ve filled Aunt Ferrars’ house with children from the village. Where will you live?”
“With you, I imagine, when you move to the dowager house when the estate goes to Cousin Nicholas.”
“And when I die?”
Her jaw clenching, Susan bit out,
“I have two sisters, I won’t be alone. I could spend the years visiting my friends, never staying long enough to impose on anyone. I could find a small house in the village and hire a companion.”
“Very well, you have many choices. But none of them is the life your father and I imagined you to have one day. A nice home, perhaps an estate like this one. Children of your own. You care so much about the children in the village, I can’t understand why you’re so opposed to having some of your own.”
Susan wrapped a ringlet around her finger and continued to toy with it. “It’s not the children that worry me. It’s finding a man like Papa, who loves you with all your‑”
Mama cocked her head to one side and narrowed her eyes. “All my what, dear?”
“I meant to say all your delightful characteristics.”
“Of course you did.” Mother kept a stern expression for a few moments, then they both burst out laughing. “I don’t know what you see in yourself that a man couldn’t love. You are shyer than your sisters, but many men prefer that type of demeanor.”
“How many men would humor my wishes in regards to the school? And my readings in Town? My book…”
“No man will chastise you for reading, or if you find such a man we’d never allow you to marry him.”
“No Mama. I meant the one I’m writing.”
“Oh, are you still working on that one? The collection of poetry, is it?”
Susan sighed and leaned back in her chair. If her own mother didn’t pay attention to Susan’s passions, how could she expect to find a man who’d do so?
“Now it’s my turn to ask you a question. What was there between you and Lord Knightwick? You were so heartbroken I wondered if there’d been an understanding between you.”
“Not on his part. And I’d call it a misunderstanding on mine. How could he pay such marked attention to me if he had no feelings for me?”
“He might have been completely unaware of his feelings. Most men are. Sometimes you must tell him how much he cares for you, and repeat it until he thinks of it on his own.”
Susan laughed, some of her melancholy fading. “Is that how you and Papa fell in love?”
Sweet Summer Kisses Page 14
