by Mark Goodwin
She huffed. “Okay. What was the question?”
“What percentage of cold blooded killers experience a crisis of conscience after they’ve slain their victims?”
“I don’t know. Tell me.”
“Exactly zero. The very definition of cold blooded implies that a person feels no remorse for their actions. So, we can at least take that adjective off the table, right?”
“Fine.” She crossed her arms and continued to watch the countryside pass by the window. “I’m an empathetic murderer.”
“We’re moving in the right direction. Are you familiar with stand your ground laws, castle doctrine, all of that?”
Ava glanced at her father. “Yeah. Lee, my adoptive mom’s ex-husband, was a lawyer. I couldn’t write out the legal definition of either one, but I understand the basic concept. But this isn’t self-defense. I went to them!” She made a fist and turned away. “And killed them.”
“Are you sure about that?”
“What do you mean?” She glared at him.
“Are you sure you went to them? You don’t believe your country was invaded by communists? You don’t think the law of the land was usurped by these very same people, when they beat people up to keep them from voting? In your mind, that doesn’t qualify as a violent invasion, or at the very least a military coup to overthrow the legitimate American government?”
She was silent for a long while. Ava pondered what her father was saying. It was the very same argument she’d used on Sam, Betty, Charity, James, Foley, even her father whom she’d only moments earlier labeled as a monster eviler than herself. Ava was confused. She wanted to be mad at herself, at her father for devising the plan, and at Foley for going along with it. “Even so, it’s not my job to bring them to justice.”
“That’s the attitude that got us here in the first place. Think about all of the pastors in America who were concerned with new building projects, bigger HD screens, better coffee shops, everything except the things that really mattered. They didn’t think it was their job to stand up against wickedness. They saw no responsibility to defend freedom; felt no obligation to spur their congregations on toward fighting back against the far left.
“Stop me if this sounds familiar. After all, I’m simply rephrasing your material. You’re the one who told me it was the armchair conservatives that sat idly by while God was evicted from the classroom and replaced by atheism.
“The only thing necessary for evil to prevail is for good people to do nothing.”
Ava shook her head with her arms crossed. “I was wrong. I shouldn’t have said what I said. And you shouldn’t have listened.”
“You weren’t wrong,” he replied. “You simply didn’t understand the cost of your conviction. But nothing worth having is ever cheap, free, or easy.”
She remained silent.
Ulysses left her alone for several minutes, then broke the silence. “Jefferson said, ‘The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants.’ That sounds like he thought it was our responsibility.”
“One man’s opinion. Not law.”
“How about the second amendment. ‘A well-regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.’ Guns and militia are necessary to keep the state free. It goes without saying that the violence which accompanies guns and militia are also integral. That is every citizen’s responsibility. And it’s not some guy’s opinion, it’s the law.
“I’ll spare you the dissertation on how your backpack bomb, while more effective, has the same fundamental goal as your rifle. You already know that. And I won’t dismiss the ferocity of such a weapon. Using a weapon with that much destructive power is not an easy thing to do. It’s not an easy thing to see done. It will take you a while to process it.
“Once you get to the other side of what you’re going through, you may decide it’s time to cash out. That will be okay. You’ve done your part. You’ve done more than most. We can still go back to Oklahoma and support the Alliance States logistically. They’ll need food. Armies run on bread, lead, and gold. No one fights on an empty stomach. At least not for long.”
Ava remained hushed until they pulled into the drive of the campground. “I’m ready.”
“For what?”
“To leave. I’m ready to leave Texas. I want to go to Oklahoma with you. I can’t do what I did today. I can’t ever do anything like that again.”
Ulysses nodded as he reached over to pat her on the thigh. “Like I told your friends back at Sam’s, they’re all invited.”
“Thank you.” Ava looked in the side view mirror at Foley’s truck pulling in behind them. “I’m going to walk Buck, then get cleaned up and go to bed.”
“If you need to be alone, that’s fine. I won’t bother you, and I’ll make sure Foley knows. But you need to eat. All that stomach acid you’ve got going will eat a hole in your gut.”
“I’ll make a sandwich to eat while I’m walking Buckley.” Ava picked up her rifle and hurried to the trailer. She heard Foley shut the door of his truck, but she avoided eye contact with him. She’d been a captive audience for her father on the ride home, but Ava had nothing more to say to anyone. Neither did she want to listen to anybody else.
CHAPTER 23
Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee. Trust ye in the Lord for ever: for in the Lord Jehovah is everlasting strength: For he bringeth down them that dwell on high; the lofty city, he layeth it low; he layeth it low, even to the ground; he bringeth it even to the dust.
Isaiah 26:3-5
Monday morning, Ava sat on the ground near the bank of Lake Livingston, looking out at the water. Buckley lay at her side quietly, as if he knew she was troubled. Ava appreciated the fact that he wasn’t trying to console her with words of wisdom. She heard the trailer door open. She could tell by the footsteps that it was Foley. Ava wished she had a do-not-disturb sign to hang around her neck.
“I brought you coffee.”
She said nothing, did not look at him.
“I can leave it here.”
She knew punishing him would not make her feel better. “That’s okay. You can sit down if you want.”
Foley sat on the other side of Buckley and passed the cup to Ava. “How did you sleep?”
“I didn’t.”
“I tossed and turned all night, also. I always do after I’m involved in any type of action.”
“I kept seeing the bomb blow up in my mind. I kept hearing the screams; and that kid. I won’t ever forget it.”
“Probably not, but the memory will get less vivid with time. It will fade, and it won’t be so haunting.”
She took a sip from the cup. “Thanks for the coffee.”
“That’s what we do. We take care of each other. Take some time. Work through things, but don’t check out on me, okay?”
“Yeah. I guess my dad told you I’m having a hard time.”
“I heard the conversation over the phone. We were connected the whole way home, remember?”
“Oh, right. I was so freaked out, I didn’t even think of that. I’m a real mess, huh?”
“You’re having a normal reaction to a very abnormal situation. And when you get ready, I’ll be here to talk. You can’t bottle all this up. Pain shared is pain divided.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means when you share the pain you feel inside, you shed a chunk of it off. Just talking about it reduces the weight you’ll be packing around in the days and weeks to come. It’s hard to open up, but it really does help. For a lot of the guys I was in Syria with, it was the difference between life and death. The guys who opened up, they made it. The ones who didn’t . . .” Foley shook his head. “A lot of those guys aren’t around. Or if they are, they aren’t really functioning on a human level. And of course, you know
my story.”
Ava couldn’t imagine that anyone else on the planet had ever felt the way she was feeling. “You heard what Ulysses said to me?”
Foley nodded. “Your dad.”
“Yeah, whatever.”
“It’s not whatever. The tendency is to alienate and isolate. By calling him by his first name, you’re pushing him away, even if you don’t realize it.”
“Okay, my dad.”
“I’m not trying to beat you up. It’s just that I’ve seen this movie; nearly a hundred times. If you can simply see what’s happening, what the Devil is trying to push you into, you can be better equipped to mitigate it.”
“Thanks, I guess.” Ava ran her hand through her too short, too black hair. “But I don’t feel like it’s the Devil. I feel like God is angry with me, that I’ve committed the unpardonable sin.”
“That’s not God. Revelation 12 identifies Satan as the accuser of the brethren. What your dad said to you on the way home yesterday was all true.”
“I know. But that’s from man’s standpoint. Jesus told us to turn the other cheek and love our enemies.”
“You can love them, you can pray for their salvation, but when you have an enemy trying to eradicate everything we hold dear, that’s not what Jesus was talking about when he said to turn the other cheek.
“Make no mistake, the Social Justice Legion flies a flag with the hammer and sickle, just like their predecessor, Antifa. If communism takes root in America, it will outlaw churches, Bibles, and Christianity entirely. If it doesn’t this will be the first time in history that a communist revolution hasn’t banned every mention of God. It is a militaristic, atheistic system that does not make compromises or allowances.
“Turning the other cheek is about disregarding an insult. No one ever died from being slapped on the cheek. Jesus did not intend for you to lie down and let people run all over you.
“Jesus said the greatest commandment was to love the Lord your God with all of your heart, mind, and soul. He said the second is like it; to love your neighbor as yourself. That’s the golden rule. Do unto others as you’d have done unto you.
“In the light of the second greatest commandment, consider this. If you did not know Jesus, wouldn’t you want someone to stand up to Markovich and protect your right to at least hear about Him, so you could make your own decision as to whether you wanted to follow Christ or not?”
“Yeah, I suppose.”
“Then you can’t expect someone else to do it for you if you wouldn’t do it for them. The God of the Old Testament not only consented to battles, He commanded the Israelites many times to completely wipe out their enemies. He’s the same yesterday, today, and forever.
“Yes, God calls us to be merciful, but he also calls us to take a stand against evil. Like your dad said, it’s the church’s dereliction of that duty which has put us in the predicament we’re in now. Twenty years ago, the Church could have come together to fight back in the political arena and spared us this battle. But now, it’s too late; blood will be spilled.
“You’ve done your part. I believe God is very proud of your bravery. I don’t think He is mad at you at all. Proverbs 31 tells us to take a stand for those who can’t speak for themselves, to defend the poor and needy. That’s what you did yesterday. While scores of men are hiding under their beds like cowards, you took a stand. Nothing is more righteous than that.”
Ava listened and was quiet. She sipped her coffee and stared at the water. “Maybe you’re right. But I’m done. I’m going to Oklahoma with my dad.”
Foley nodded. “You’ve done your share of the heavy lifting.”
She was silent for another long while. Then she said, “You could come with us.”
Foley looked out at the slight waves. “I will. For a while, at least. I’m not sure I’ll stick around the farm very long. I’ll probably hook up with one of the militias.”
Ava did not want him to go into battle anymore. She loved him and didn’t want to worry every day, wondering if he was dead or alive. “To secure the border or to attack Markovich’s forces?”
“I don’t know. I wouldn’t be in charge. But I have a certain skill set and it wouldn’t be right if I didn’t put it to use. I risked my life fighting in someone else’s civil war. If I sit back when it is my own country, I think that would be a sin.”
She swigged the end of her coffee. “You’ve been involved in all our missions. You said I’ve done enough. You’ve done everything I’ve done. Why can’t it be enough for you?”
“It just isn’t.”
“I think it is. You said we take care of each other. You can’t take care of me if you’re not around.” Ava’s attention shifted from her self-loathing to worrying about Foley.
Ulysses came out of the trailer. “Did you tell her?”
Foley put his hands up. “We got to talking about other stuff, and I completely forgot.”
“Tell me what?” She turned to her father.
“Woods is dead. They’re blaming it on us.” Ulysses stood by the pine tree.
“What? Woods was nowhere around any of us!”
Foley shrugged. “They said he was hit by a bullet.”
“Is it possible?” she asked.
“Not even remotely. I was targeting the center of that Antifa gathering on the lawn opposite from where you were. It’s a false flag. One that suits Markovich very well. He probably had Secret Service kill Woods; for the good of the country.”
Ava considered the implications. “So Markovich is president? He gets the keys a month early.”
“Yep.” Ulysses nodded. “And Woods becomes a martyr.”
Ava shook her head. “What’s sick about the whole thing is that even if Woods had known Markovich was going to have him killed, he’d still have stayed on and sacrificed himself.”
Ulysses said, “But the bad news is that they’re really after our scalps now. We’ll have to lay low, stay off the roads a little longer than originally planned. We’ll see how the manhunt goes. Maybe we can head home Wednesday. The news cycle is pretty short these days. A lot can happen between now and Wednesday.”
Her father turned to go back to the trailer. “In the meantime, I’m going to get a big stack of pancakes going. Even if you don’t feel like it, you need to eat, Ava.”
She forced a smile. “Thanks, Dad. I’ll eat when they’re ready.”
CHAPTER 24
Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep.
Romans 12:15
Ava stretched her arms, waking from a long nap Wednesday. “Where are we?”
“San Marcos. Almost home.” Foley cut the ignition. “We’re going to gas up. Keep your eyes open. You’re currently America’s most wanted.”
She yawned. “How long was I out?”
“Three hours, at least. You needed it.” Foley stepped out of the truck and closed the door.
Ava surveyed the gas station. She saw her father three pumps down, fueling up his old truck, which was pulling the travel trailer. Their eyes met briefly, but Ulysses quickly turned away. Ava understood that if anyone were to spot her, Ulysses’ element of surprise would be her only hope of escape. She watched Buckley in the back seat. He spun around to get comfortable for the remainder of their journey.
Minutes later, Foley stepped back inside. “All set.”
“We really took the long way around.” Ava took a sip of water from her sports bottle.
“Ulysses wanted to make sure we skirted Houston and Austin. Taylor, too, since that’s probably where they’re looking for you the hardest.”
Ava slumped back down in the seat so to be harder to spot. “I don’t think I’ve slept three hours straight since the attack.”
“It will get better.” Foley started the engine but waited for Ulysses to pull out of the filling station before putting the truck in gear. “The nightmares may not ever go away, but they’ll get less frequent.”
&
nbsp; “I really wish you’d stay at Dad’s place, once we get to Oklahoma. I don’t think I’ll sleep when you’re gone.”
Foley tightened his jaw. “Hopefully, I’ll be able to join up with a crew nearby. If I’m on the border, that’s not far at all.”
Ava adjusted the ball cap on her head. “Dad’s place is in the north-east corner of Oklahoma. It’s at least 250 miles from the Texas border.”
“That’s not so far. I can be there in a few hours.”
“Next week is Christmas.”
“It sure doesn’t feel like Christmas.”
“Promise that you’ll at least wait until after New Year’s to join a militia. You’ve done a lot. You’ve earned a break for the holidays.” She reached across the seat and put her hand on his knee. “Please. For me.”
“I can do that. I’ll hang around until New Year’s.”
Ava hated the thought of being separated from Foley. But in the same way he’d respected her decision to get in and out of the war, she had to respect his. She switched the radio on. “Did I miss anything while I was out?”
“Insurgency attacks against Markovich’s regime are happening all over the country. Kentucky, Tennessee, the Carolinas. Fort Rucker in Alabama has sided with the Alliance States. The base’s leadership refuses to recognize Markovich as a legitimate commander in chief.”
“How is that going to play out?” Ava asked.
Foley shook his head. “Who knows? Since Alabama hasn’t officially sided with the Alliance, I’m guessing it will get messy.”
“Still no word on Florida or Georgia joining up?”
“I suspect all the southern states are waiting for the others to make the call. No one wants to be the first to commit. All the Alliance states have at least one border shared with another Alliance state. That’s one border they don’t have to worry about getting attacked, and it’s a way for them to get assistance if they’re overwhelmed by an attack.”
