He remained silent, and I carried on my little tirade. “I mean, seriously, how hard is it to find a job in IT? Do you at least consult? Don’t you get any self satisfaction from working?”
The breath being forced through Jay’s nose was the only sound in the room. But he still didn’t say anything. I don’t know why but I couldn’t stop. I paused to let him respond, but he sat there, staring at me. I wanted to shake a reaction out of him. And I wanted to smack myself for caring, I brought him here to fuck me, not justify his existence to me. But I couldn’t help myself.
My tone got even harsher. “How do you live? Off a pile of your daddy’s money? I mean really, who gallivants around all day, drinking overpriced coffees and having champagne in the park?”
Before I could react, he stood and walked out the door. I sat, frozen in place. The hottest man who'd ever shown any interest in me was sitting in my condo, only moments away from ravishing me on my bed, and I drove him out. Why didn’t I keep my big mouth shut?
I finished the rest of the bottle of red. I went to the fridge, pulled the spoon out of the neck of the champagne bottle, and finished it. The whole time I was trying to keep my mind from whirring. I am so stupid. Repeat.
Over and over, I’d pick up my phone and set my phone back down. Jay hadn’t texted. The drunker I got, the more antsy I became. The antsier I became, the more I had to hike my dress back up. I’d been trying not to throw anything, but I broke down, lifted a scatter cushion high over my head and chucked it across the room. It didn’t make me feel any better.
The action had caused my tit to pop out of my dress and my bra. For the zillionth time that evening, I started to hitch my dress back up. In my drunken anguish I looked down at my sad, lonely boob. A tit that mere hours ago was being kissed and sucked by Jay. Gorgeous, fun, sexy Jay. My womb contracted at the thought of my loss. How could I undo this entire evening? Take it right back to the sofa?
Without further thought, I pushed my dress and bra down around my waist and took a selfie. I cropped my head out and left a slight bit of my pink dress so there could be no doubt of whose tits they were. I texted it to Jay, with no words. Heh, my first foray into sexting. I toasted myself with my empty glass.
My phone rang the following morning. My heart leapt, but it was Jenny. I couldn’t face talking to her and hit reject.
I’d barely slept all night, I was too busy checking my phone for any response from Jay, but it had been radio silence. Countless times, I’d type out a big long apology - for both my behavior at dinner and the sexting, and countless times I’d deleted what I’d typed. I should phone him, talk to him and apologize like a normal person but I didn't have the courage.
Nor could I face telling Jenny what had happened.
I dragged myself out of bed and rummaged through my bathroom drawer for painkillers. My head throbbed, I was paying the price for drowning my sorrows but I deserved all the emotional and physical pain I was suffering for the way I’d treated Jay.
By noon I still hadn’t heard anything from him though Jenny had texted a wink. I guess she figured he’d stayed the night. And that I was wrapped in his arms right now, having morning sex. Which I should have been. Could have been. If only I’d kept my big mouth shut.
By early evening I still hadn’t eaten and put another piece of lasagna on a plate. I sat in the same seat I’d been sitting on last night when I’d decided to verbally rip apart my houseguest. Rude! I had been plain rude and my poor, dearly departed mother would be ashamed I’d treated anyone that way, whether they’d deserved it or not. Regardless of whether I’d been trying to get naked with them or not.
I picked up my phone.
Sorry. My behavior was inexcusable.
A few deeps breaths later I managed to push send. It was too difficult to sit in the same place, looking across at the empty seat across from me. I picked up my plate and moved to the sofa.
After every bite of food, I’d pick up my phone and check for a reply. There was no need to do this, I had the volume set to maximum, and the vibration turned on. Still, I couldn’t help myself. Hope is a difficult thing to quash.
15
Bleary eyed, I tossed my bag on my seat, slipped off my sneakers and put on my heels. I’d dragged myself to work early, so I’d get there before Sam. I figured if she’d been there to watch me walk in I wouldn’t be able to make it to my desk.
I never did phone Jenny back, but I’d sent both her and Sam texts saying things didn’t go well and that I wasn’t ready to talk about it yet. I hoped Sam would respect my wishes.
Fortunately she didn’t make one reference to it, and we got on with our work. Yet another stupid waste of time new report Calvin had come up with. At least this one was only going to be monthly.
I dug around in my bottom drawer for some papers and came across the stack of emails that had started the whole thing with Jay. I took the folder out of the drawer and set it on the desk. It wouldn’t hurt to leaf through them, to confirm my belief that they proved Calvin was incompetent.
The file was still sitting there early afternoon, and I scanned through the emails. There’s no room for doubt, they show Calvin as a hideous man. Not only do they prove he doesn’t know what he’s doing, they show how rude he is to me even when I’m helping him. I kicked myself for helping him at all. Why did I help him? Ugh, I was so mad at myself for it, but still I put the folder back in my drawer.
There had been no word from Jay. Jenny and Sam were kind enough not to pry, but I’m sure it was killing them. My mood had been sour, and they had both allowed me to act like a sullen child and not tried to rip the information from my throat.
It had been almost a whole week since I’d seen Jay, and I still hadn’t heard from him. I didn’t know what to do. Send him another text? Or let it die. He’d said he was into me, so on one hand I should be glad he’d vanished from my life. I didn’t want a relationship last weekend. But now, I’m not sure. I missed his company. Hanging out in the park that afternoon was the most fun I’d had in years. If not ever. And sitting with him at the basketball game had been exhilarating. He was so much better than Matt it wasn’t even funny. But it took Jay leaving for me to realize what I really felt.
Except I’d already hurt him, and I felt terrible. The guilt has been crushing me all week, as is now to the point where it’s becoming suffocating. I could not figure out what to do, I was exhausted from days of little of sleep. Between Jay and Calvin, I was an emotional wreck by the time the fucking Friday Weeksend report rolled around.
My chest heaved and I felt nauseous. Without saying anything, I stood up and left.
I walked all the way home in my heels. At eleven am on a workday. I collapsed in my bed and cried. I hated myself for crying and I cried even harder.
I had nothing left to lose. Before I could chicken out, I brought up Jay’s name and pressed call. Please pick up, please pick up. I squeezed my eyes shut and chanted. Three rings, four rings,
“Abbie.” My chest swirled with joy at the sound of Jay’s voice.
“I’m so sorry,” I blurted.
“Are you okay? You sound upset.”
I swallowed and tried not to sound like I was crying, “I am upset! I treated you so terribly!”
“Are you at work?”
“No, I left. I’m at home.”
“Stay put, I’ll be there in fifteen minutes.”
The line went dead, and I stopped breathing for a few moments while I stared at the phone in my hand. My brain kicked my ass into gear. Jay was coming!
I pulled myself from the bed and washed my face, trying to reduce my red, swollen eyes as much as possible. I reapplied my make-up and smoothed my hair. Lastly, I went to the kitchen and poured myself a huge glass of water, downed it and filled it again.
Even though I was expecting him, I jumped when the intercom buzzed.
16
I pulled open the front door and waited, my heart thumping so fast I thought I might pass out.
; The elevator door opened. Jay walked out, wearing an exquisitely cut Italian suit and looking better than ever. He covered the hallway in long strides and before I knew it, he’d pulled me into him and pressed me hard against his chest.
My chin quivered, and I blinked back tears.
“I’m sorry,” I murmured.
He kissed the top of my head, shuffled me into my condo and shut the door. I slipped my arms underneath his suit jacket, and there was no way I was letting go until he pushed me away.
“Hey, hey,” he said looking down on me. I looked back up at him and got drawn into his deep brown eyes. I managed to stop my chin quivering for long enough to force a small smile at him.
“Abbie, Beautiful, listen. You have nothing to be sorry for. I’m the one who should be sorry, for leaving and ignoring you all week. It was terrible of me, I thought, after what you said, that you weren’t interested in me and it was kind of hard for me to take.”
A strange noise emanated from my throat, halfway between a sob and a laugh. I can’t believe he apologized to me. It was kind of surreal.
I buried my head back in his chest, and felt guilty for getting salty tears on his expensive suit.
“Cup of coffee,” he said. I didn’t know if he was asking for one, or offering to make me one.
“I’m not leaving my condo.”
“Don’t you have any coffee here?”
“Of course I have coffee.” We went into the kitchen, I set up the coffeemaker and it started percolating. The ritual calmed me, as if I was resetting my day.
Jay came up behind me and placed his hands on my hips. My eyes shut, unsure where this was going. Where I was going. I thought Matt’s actions had ensured I would never feel anything towards another man again. But here I was, intoxicated by both his touch and his presence.
I leaned backwards into him, his hands turned me around and soon our mouths were locked together. All my muscles relaxed under the firm pressure of his hands on the small of my back. I leaned into him, willing him not to stop.
He tilted my head sideways and kissed down my neck. When he reached my blouse, he nuzzled at it while his hands fumbled with my buttons. I frantically worked at his dress shirt from the bottom up. Each time a button revealed more of his chiseled muscles, I traced my fingers over them before moving onto the next.
Both our work shirts hung open, and we pressed our bare skin against each other. He radiated warmth against me. Desperate for more, I pushed him in the direction of the bedroom while trying to completely remove my top so I could get at my bra.
Jay stepped back, out of my reach, and I looked at him in a panic.
“Take it off,” he demanded.
His words forced a smile across my face, and I took my top and bra off. He nodded in approval, but made no move to touch me. He seemed to be waiting, so I took off my skirt and nylons, and stood before him in only my panties. My stupid, everyday three year old work underwear.
“Fuck you’re perfect,” he said and swept me into my bedroom and onto the bed. I laid there watching as he removed his top and suit pants, still amazed a man like him was in my condo.
Jay knelt beside me, as if surveying where on me to start. He leaned over and kissed me, but quickly moved down my neck and over my shoulders. Butterflies flapped madly at the contact of his hands with my breasts. He cupped them both, flickering my already erect nipples with his thumbs.
He looked up at me and said “I liked the tit shot.”
Mortified, my entire body flushed red. Before it had a chance to calm down, he clamped his mouth around my nipple and sucked so hard the walls of my pussy clenched. He did the same to my other nipple before trailing kisses down my belly.
He reached the edge of my panties, and without looking at me, hooked his finger in the waistband and tugged them down around my knees. I unconsciously rolled my thighs in. Aside from Matt, no man had seen me so intimately. I started to pull my legs all the way together when his hand slapped onto my thigh and yanked it wide open.
He kept his hand on my thigh, gripping it to keep it in place as he kissed the points of my pelvic bone, then moved his mouth down. First, he nuzzled and kissed over both of my thighs, blowing across my lips as he moved from side to side.
“I’d love to see some garters on these thighs.”
I groaned and widened my other leg for him. Very lightly, almost imperceptibly, his tongue licked my lips crossways. Then back again. Over and over, he took his time no matter how I moved my pelvis to try to urge him in.
I reached my hands above my head, and held tight to my pillow, waiting. I stared up at the ceiling, my eyes fixed on the light shade. The coffee maker beeped, signaling its readiness.
At last, his tongue slid up my slit, and down again. It found my hole and taunted it a few times before licking back up to my clit. He flicked it a few times, my eyes squeezed shut at the intensity. He removed his hand from my thigh and without hesitation plunged two fingers into me, pushing a loud moan from my lungs.
“Jay,” I panted. He rammed them into me again and again in the same steady rhythm while he sucked my clit hard into his mouth. My body welled and filled until I squirmed. He pushed his other hand down on my belly, to hold me still, without breaking his rhythm.
I screamed as a massive orgasm ripped through my body.
Before my body calmed, he moved his body over me, and kissed me hard on the mouth. His lips moved in a frenzy over my neck as he rubbed his hard cock against me, through his boxers, grinding against my still tender clit. My hands ran over the muscles on his back and shoulders, through his hair. I ached for him to enter me, but waited for his lead.
“Please,” I whispered, my mouth searching for his.
“Do you have any condoms?”
Thank you Jenny. “In the drawer,” I said, pointing.
The plastic wrapping on the box took forever and a day to take off so he could get at the contents. He ripped the box open and tossed one of the wrapped condoms onto the bed beside me.
I watched as he stood at the side of the bed, stroking his own cock, encouraging it to a rock hard state, my pussy getting wetter at the sight of his massive member and its impending arrival.
At last the condom was on. Jay moved to the end of the bed, seized my calves and yanked me down, so that my ass ended up on the very edge of the bed. I cried out in surprise as he flipped me over onto my belly.
He grabbed my hip bones and wrenched me against him. My pussy contracted in lust when the tip of his cock bulged against my entrance. I held my breath, my entire body prickling in anticipation. He slid one hand up my spine until it reached my neck. He took hold of my shoulder and pulled back, at the same moment he drove into me.
I gasped at the sudden fullness in my pussy and tried to remember to breathe. He slammed into me, over and over, pulling on my shoulder each time. His other hand inched inwards across my skin, his fingertips searching for my clit. He located it and as he pinched it between his fingers, jolts of electricity shot up my back.
He started to move faster and faster. I put my weight on my left side so I could reach down and cup his sack. He groaned at my action, spurring me on to fondle and roll his balls around in my hand. The sack grew tighter, and his cock growing harder within me.
Abruptly, he pushed my hand away, and stopped moving. We stayed still while his cock pulsed against my pussy walls.
“I need to kiss you,” he said, his voice low like a growl.
I squealed as he withdrew from me, spun me around and lifted me. As our tongues danced, I wrapped my legs around his waist and latched my hands behind his sweaty neck. He stepped forward, until my back was against the wall, and pushed his cock into me.
Gravity pulled me down on him, forcing his cock deeper into me. He grunted as he thrust deep into me, pounding me against the wall, causing the clutter on the dresser to vibrate and shift. Every one of my nerves was burning with Jay’s heat. My body crashed into another orgasm, billowing waves overtook me.
&nbs
p; “Jay,” I screamed, “Jay!” I expelled the rest of my breath and screamed even louder, “Jay!” Screw the neighbors.
He sighed, pinning me against the wall and his cum shot into me. Our bodies slick with sweat and our chests heaving. While we caught our breaths, he leaned into me, holding me in place against my wall and I never wanted the moment to end.
“I’m slipping out,” he said. Cradling me, he turned around and placed me on the bed.
He pulled the condom off and laid down beside me. Side by side, we laid on our backs staring up at the ceiling. I was torn between resting my quivering legs and succumbing to the smell of the now not-so-fresh coffee.
“I’m all sweaty, I’m taking a shower,” Jay said.
“Sure,”
“Are you going to show me where it is?” My condo is six hundred square feet, does he need me to show him?
17
I pointed and said, “It’s through there,”
He grabbed my pointing hand and pulled me off the bed and into the bathroom. My belly fluttered all over again.
“Wow, that’s quite the mirror, I like it.”
He pulled me in front of him, both of us facing the mirror. The dreaded mirror that haunts me every morning. I was too exposed and tried to move away but he held me in place.
I watched his face in the mirror. His hands traveled over me, along the curve of my hips and the swell of my breasts, Jay’s eyes followed wherever his hands went. He looked into the reflection of my eyes and we held each other’s gaze.
“You have the most perfect body,” he said. I swallowed at the comment and watched in the mirror as my cheeks reddened.
“Mm,” I muttered, the noise a noncommittal acknowledgement.
“I sure would love to see you in some pretty lingerie.”
My breath quickened at his words, and I had to look away before any tears had the chance to form in my eyes. How was he saying these things? Was he looking into the same mirror as me?
Trusting Jay: (A Chicago Suits Romance) (Loving Jay Book 1) Page 5
