“Jeremy, thank you for your kindness and concern.”
“Sydney don’t you know why I’m with you? Don’t you know that I’m in love with you and your babies are probably mine?”
“Jeremy, please don’t remind me. I’m trying to forget that, so we can function as a family.”
Jeremy didn’t respond, he allowed Sydney to believe that he had accepted his secondary status in her life. At that moment, he would have said and done anything to be a part of her life.
* * * *
Sydney completed her stay in the hospital, with Jeremy at her side for five days, giving her support whenever she needed. He hadn’t seen the woman he was suppose to marry. He didn’t call Nadia to find out about the remaining paintings that were shown to potential buyers.
He trusted Nadia to sell his work because she thought she had an interest and an investment in him. Jeremy allowed Nadia to believe that she could be a part of his life; however, he forgot to tell Nadia that there was someone more important than her. That someone was Sydney, his brother’s wife. It wouldn’t make for a pretty picture or a good story to tell Nadia the truth, so, he refrained from ruining a good story with the truth.
Instead, Jeremy told Nadia what she wanted to hear—that he wanted only her, and he was willing to marry her to prove it.
Chapter 9
The Discovery
Sydney endured pain and anguish carrying her twin boys. She spent months in the hospital. Dr. Wolff’s team of doctors assured her that both babies would survive.
Nevertheless, Dr. Wolff informed Sydney that the smallest of the twins would need transfusions immediately after birth from his father and he would have to be located soon or the boy would die. Sydney tried to contact Danny but to no avail. It became imperative that he would have to be notified if the smaller child was to live.
Jeremy didn’t want to alarm Sydney by telling her that no one knew Danny’s whereabouts. He hadn’t been seen since his plane landed in the jungles of Brazil. Sydney thought that she should talk to Danny. He needed to know about the babies, and then he was sure to come home soon.
Their sons were in peril. She didn’t know what to do so she asked Jeremy to take a test to see whether his blood was compatible. Jeremy took the test, to the doctor’s surprise, it was a match. When Dr. Wolff brought the news, his face and eyes revealed his thoughts.
Brazil
The filming was long and arduous. The hot jungle only exacerbated Danny’s feeling of loneliness and abandonment. This was one of the worst times in his life. Danny was away from his loving wife and children. He knew in Sydney’s expressions, when he told her he was leaving again that she didn’t want another long separation. He hadn’t been with her while she was pregnant for their three children and it happened again. Danny promised her that he wouldn’t leave her, but he broke his promise. Sydney didn’t realize that his finances were depleted and he had to work.
Danny needed the money because his fortune was almost gone since he bought into a production company. He couldn’t bring himself to accept anything from Sydney. He always wanted to provide for her.
The Camp site erected in the middle of the jungle was the base for the equipment, actors, and directors. It was filled with mosquitoes and tents. Trees surrounded the camp with trunks the size of a small cars where no light shown except in Danny’s cheerful face.
Every morning had been the same dull whisper. He is up early filming in the dark. It appears to be dark even when the sun is shining. With the boredom of the day, Danny opened his journal and began writing.
October 20
Arrived in San Palo in the morning, and I am less than enthusiastic about the job. I am sad and lack commitment to the project. This will not make for a great movie. I’d better concentrate on how to deal with the situation. The place is a virtual a hell hole, yet I knew what I was getting into. I need the money, but is it worth it? I ask myself.
Every morning I turn my music on “Home,” by Michael Buble. I feel every ache and desire for you. I miss my beautiful children and my new baby. I have to stop this, it’s not helping my frame of mind and everyone is noticing. I need this job! I decided to have my tea before we film the next scene. I can’t drink anymore tea. I need a drink badly.
The heat is stifling and the only bright moment I have is talking to the little ingénue playing my love interest. She’s bright but too young. I long for the companionship of my wife. My love.
October 25
I can’t write every day. Too busy. Well maybe it’s because I don’t want to sound any more negative than I have been. I’ve found new ways to make the days pass. I’m in training for my part and the work is hard. Whoever wrote this script had to be a masochist. They have me cutting through brush with a machete and skinning small animals, this crap is driving me out of my mind.
I spend the whole day thinking of Sydney. I haven’t been able to contact her for weeks, she must be going insane. I miss her too much. I don’t want to leave her anymore, now I have no other choice. I’d better think of another career choice. Thinking about producing and directing my own pictures. Yea, that’s an idea. I can talk to Max when I get home.
November 1
I’ve become acquainted with Emily the ingénue. Now I’m more relaxed when kissing her. I close my eyes and I dream I’m kissing Sydney. I wonder if she’s missing me. Tomorrow the crew and cast are flying to another location and I hope to talk to Sydney then. I hope the director is not lying to me, if he is I’m done. For now all I want to do is get home to Sydney and our children. The only joy I have is dreaming about them.
November 2
I rose early to take a private plane to film another scene. More jungle. God! How much more of this can I take? The view is beautiful, more amazing than I could imagine. I have yet to see a waterfall as expressive as this. Scotland doesn’t have anything like this.
I’m enjoying the trip because of Emily, she insisted on coming along even if she doesn’t have any more scenes with me. She said she’s flying back to the states tomorrow and will not get a chance to see Brazil like this again.
Something is happening with the plane; I look at the crew and feel something uneasy. The co pilot is walking through the plane but his face can’t disguise his panic. I think we’ll be alright. Besides, I didn’t come this far to die in this jungle. Now I pick a great time to be positive.
Danny woke in a canopy of trees with wreckage of the plane and bodies encircling him.
November 3
I feel as though I’m waking from a dream. I’m the only one that’s breathing. I’ve discovered that I’m the only one that has survived this crash. All I think about now is getting back to Sydney and the children. I must appear to be a monster because that’s all I can think about, except thank God it wasn’t me. I look at that beautiful young girl, and I can only think of myself. I have to survive long enough to get home. I have to get home!
November 4
I found food, cans of meat and vegetables that opened on impact. I found the energy to clear the area of vegetation, and bury the dead. The only way I managed to bury Emily was not to think of her as a person, but God, she was so young that I keep seeing her face and eyes. She had eyes like Sydney, brown, clear, matured and loving.
I realize that I have to concentrate on living. I have plenty of food and water. Someone packed supplies for a month. Maybe the director was lying when he said a day. Too late to find out; why am I going on like this? I guess I need someone to talk to. All I know is that I have to get out of here. I have to make a shelter and hope someone will see my signal. I have to bury the dead.
November 14
The pilot radioed our position before we went down. The whole crew is gone and I have to find my way out of here otherwise it may take forever for them to find me. Dear God get me through this. I have to believe that people are searching for us.
November 15
I found a note from Sydney. She must have slipped it into my shirt pocket.
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Danny you are the love of my life. I could never love another. You are my first and only love. Come back to me soon! Take care of yourself my love.
Your loving wife,
Sydney
I had a long cry and now I have to decide whether I can get out of this jungle. I know nothing about walking through a jungle. All I know is if I stay here, I’ll die. I have to decide soon. I don’t know how I can carry enough food to last me, but I have to try.
Chapter 10
Lost
The apartment was enormous but the walls were too close and everything in Sydney’s world was falling apart and she didn’t know how to straighten it out. She didn’t know how to put a square peg into a round hole. There weren’t any directions to figure this out.
Where was her husband? She hadn’t seen or talked to Danny in weeks and no one seems to be able to tell her anything. Her last resort was Max, Danny’s agent. He had sent Danny off on this horrible trip. He was always sending Danny somewhere when she needed him the most.
Sydney reached for the phone to call Max when the phone rang in her hand.
“Yes this is Sydney. Max I was just trying to call you. I know I’ve been a nuisance and I haven’t given you a moments rest. I know you will be happy when Danny returns. Sorry for talking so much. Have you heard from Danny?”
There was a long pause. “What is it Max?”
“Are you sitting…?”
“Stop the crap and just tell me Max.”
“Well…Sydney…I don’t know how to tell you because…”
“Because what Max? Tell me!”
“Danny’s plane disappeared somewhere in the jungles of Brazil.”
Sydney closed her eyes and took a long breath. She didn’t speak, she didn’t ask any questions. She fell to her knees and cried. Her moan was heard throughout the apartment. She couldn’t feel anything she couldn’t think. She became cold and reached for a blanket to wrap around her body. Sydney crawled on her knees and said a prayer and after an hour of disbelief and pain she reached the phone to call Jeremy.
“Jeremy I have to see you as soon as possible,” she shouted.
“I’m coming Sydney,” and he hung the phone up and left his loft. It took him only minutes to reach her apartment.
“Come in Jeremy, it’s about Danny. There was a plane crash and it’s possible that he’s… dead.” Sydney said in a rush of words.
“Who said he is dead?”
“No one Jeremy, just hold me and don’t let go, please don’t let me go.”
“Sydney I want you, but I don’t want you like this. I didn’t want this to happen to Danny, please believe me.”
“I believe you Jeremy; what am I going to tell the children?’
“Don’t tell them anything. I’m going to charter a plane and find my brother.”
“I’m coming with you.’
“You can’t go. Sydney, look at you. She glanced down at her stomach and rest her hands on it.
“Please Jeremy. “ Jeremy hold me and stay with me. I can’t be alone, not now!”
“I won’t leave you ever,” Jeremy took Sydney in his arms, held her, and rocked her in his arms. He wanted every emotion that Sydney had for Danny transferred to him. He was as selfish now as he had ever been. He didn’t want Sydney’s pity; he didn’t want to win by default; he didn’t want this. He wanted to defeat Danny on his own merit; otherwise, he would have empty love.
All night Jeremy tried reassuring Sydney but she could not be comforted. She would wake and cry for Danny. Jeremy asked her to think about the children and the fragile state they were in.
Jeremy couldn’t sleep and spent the night making arrangements to leave the next day. He had to get someone to stay with her so he called Steven. Steven agreed to stay for as long as it took for Danny or Jeremy to return.
The news of Jeremy leaving didn’t go over well with Nadia, especially since she had a showing of Jeremy’s paintings. When Jeremy explained to her that he had to find his brother Nadia pretended she understood.
Nadia worked overtime to see that every important person in the arts were in attendance at the showing. She had an investment in Jeremy. She planned to marry him. Nadia wasn’t a woman that one should cross. She felt that once Jeremy had proposed to her, he was hers, and nothing was going to come between them. Nevertheless, she knew he was spending an inordinate amount of time with Sydney.
Nadia wouldn’t entertain any thoughts of Jeremy being unfaithful because when he wasn’t with her he was with his sister-in-law.
Brazil
November 20
I’ve been in the jungle for over two weeks and my only salvation is the thought of Sydney and my children. I still have food and water. I’m so lonely and what I’ve learned in the survival course is helping me. I keep a fire going; but the snakes scare me to death. Animals are everywhere; I guess that’s why they call it a jungle. I’m trying to inject a little humor. I keep walking, I don’t know if I’m going in circles or heading deeper into the jungle.
November 21
The rainy season has started, just my luck. It’s raining day and night. I’m sick of this but what can I do? I hear noises all the time. Sound like a large cat of some kind. I’m playing games to keep my mind from straying. I hear another cat sound and it sounds different. I don’t want to ever find out what animal made that sound. I haven’t slept in days. Large insects are biting me day and night.
November 22
I woke to gunshots and voices. Maybe I can scream, but no sound is coming out. I tried to scream again. Now I hear people, animals, shooting all around me, and coming my way. I think someone heard me. Wait... I see someone.
Danny drops his diary and runs in the direction of the voices.
New York, Steven’s Spa
“Sydney, if you ask me you are suffering from “Stockholm Syndrome,” Steven stood and pranced to the window as if he was a famous doctor revealing his theory for the first time and dispensing information that is foreign to Sydney.
“What do you know about “Stockholm Syndrome?”
“Well I read too,” Steven revealed as if he had been insulted. “You are identifying with your abuser. Remember he seduced you when you were intoxicated. And I know a thing about rape, well maybe not in that sense. I was raped of my affections.”
“Are you finished Steven? He didn’t take me. I was a little drunk. And I am a big girl.
“You’re still sick over Danny. I have a question for you. Did Jeremy do all he could to find Danny?”
“All that was found was his diary and I know he was thinking of me the entire time and I can’t forget that. He was alone in that jungle and I wasn’t around to be with him and die with him.” Tears trickle down her cheeks. She reached for a tissue setting on Steven’s desk.
Sydney looked over at the windowless room where a window might exist as if she wanted to stare out and look for the sky, a bird, anything that would cause her heart to ache a little less or her thoughts to disappear. Instead, she fixated on the brick wall where she began to count bricks the way a child counts cars waiting for a mother.
“You know Danny might never be found. Why don’t you embrace your good life and accept it instead of wishing you are dead. Jeremy looks just like Danny and you’re even carrying his baby. What could be more convenient than that?”
Sydney stared at Steven as if he had lost his mind. He just didn’t get it. How could Sydney substitute a deep and powerful love for a new love, and so soon? There wasn’t enough time in the world to erase what Danny meant to Sydney.
“Steven you are making me more upset. I think I had better leave.” Steven did not stop Sydney, so he called her car, kissed her, waved goodbye, and closed the door. The car pulled away into the clogged traffic and brought her home.
The ride was only a few blocks, but it gave her time to think. She looked at the people walking along the sidewalk and picked a woman with smile on her face; she wondered about her life. There was no limo ferrying h
er from place to place. Yet she looked happy. Why with all her money and children was she so miserable?
Before she could answer her question, she was home.
* * * *
Jeremy slinked into the condo he recently purchased. Nadia sat in a chair in the corner of the room where no light was present, and the curtains were drawn. He wondered why he had an uneasy feeling, dropping his keys in the glass astray; he turned to see Nadia perched in the corner.
“Where have you been Jeremy? I’ve been trying to contact you for a few days. I let myself in with the key you left at my apartment. Why didn’t you answer my call?” Nadia didn’t want to sound possessive and she spoke her words in a manner as not to emphasize her hurt and concern.
“You surprised me. I didn’t expect you.”
“Well I guess I’m your fiancé.” Nadia said with scorn in her voice and an expressionless face.
Jeremy moved to kiss her and to prevent her from asking more questions. He knew how to fool women he didn’t have deep feelings for. It was a training ground. The only person he could ever love was Sydney and he didn’t want to fool her or deceive her any longer. He wanted to come clean with her and find a way into her heart. He had to be in a position where he could give her the things he thought she needed.
“You are my fiancé and let’s not talk about it again.”
Jeremy stood looking into Nadia’s stark black eyes, and then he put his hand in her short hair, threading it as he moved his hand through. He touched her face and her neck as if he was working on a painting. He peeled away her white shirt, button by button. He unzipped her skirt and with his hand, tore the button that held it up. It fell to the floor like a dead body.
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