by Kristy Marie
The pain isn’t excruciating, but it pinches enough that I whimper.
“Are you okay?” he asks, pulling back.
I kiss his lips. “I think I need a minute.”
I knew the minute the words left my mouth, I shouldn’t have insinuated I was in pain.
“We should stop.” His eyes are worried, but his body is coiled tight.
I squeeze him with my legs. “Do you want to stop?” There’s a teasing lightness in my tone. “Because if my pussy isn’t as awesome as you thought—”
His eyes narrow. “Shut up.”
And that is how you distract Bennett.
I smooth my hands across his shoulders. “I’m fine,” I admit. “It just feels a smidge more super-sized than I thought.”
He rolls his eyes, but the tension eases from his shoulders as he trails a line of kisses down my neck. Arching, I allow him better access as the pain eases to something more manageable.
“Aspen?”
I look down and find his worried gaze. Stroking his face, I lean up and press his lips to mine. “I’m fine, I promise.”
He nods, but it’s forced.
“Move, BJ,” I tease. “Don’t make me steal your glory and ride you on our first time.”
That seems to help, since a smile tugs at his mouth. “You sure?”
I’m as sure as one can be. “Yes, please move.”
He needs no more convincing. Moving his knee for a better angle, he gets leverage and boy does he move. The first push is aggressive, pounding me hard enough to steal my breath. I can’t even be mad, though, as he moves against me, slipping his arms under my butt, lifting me so he can get deeper.
“Oh, wow,” I say, back arching, hands gripping his shoulders.
“Please God, tell me that’s a good wow and not a ‘wow, please stop’.” His words are broken by begging pants of breath. Even if it hurt, I would never stop him, not with the intensity in his gaze as he volleys between my eyes and where he disappears within me. He’s beautiful, like a noble warrior, finally claiming what’s his.
“I love you,” he says, before his eyes pinch closed, shutting me out. “I tried not to, but no matter what I do, my love for you only continues to grow with every day that goes by.”
I reach for his face. “Bennett, look at me.”
His eyes flash open, his stare transparent and vulnerable.
“I love you too.”
Nothing more needs to be said. There’s no point in bringing up that we don’t have to fight this. We don’t have to hide our love from our families or ourselves. It will never matter. For Bennett, our love means choosing between his father and me. I can’t ask him to do that. I can’t expect him to, but I can hope that one day, just like the rules, he’ll find a way to make us work.
His gaze drifts to our chests where we wrote the last rules. As he thrusts, we watch as the words wash from our skin.
“It’s done,” I tell him. “No more rules bind us.”
He shakes his head. “I can’t—” His hips push in and out faster, his cock filling me to the hilt. “I won’t last,” he whispers.
I don’t know if he means right now or for the summer. Hell, he could mean the rest of our lives.
Either way, I’ll never regret loving him.
“That’s okay,” I assure him. Because I will last for the both of us.
With one last thrust, I cry out. Bennett’s mouth swallows my screams as we let go of years’ worth of want and heartbreak. Years’ worth of forbidden love.
Summers are not endless
Aspen
“No…”
The whine is super cute. “I need to check your sugar,” I tell him, prying his fingers from my hip. After we ran the water cold, we made it to the bed where I let him tell me how sorry he was for banging my head on the shower door when he stumbled getting out.
It didn’t hurt, and honestly, I was high-fiving myself for making this graceful quarterback a fumbling mess with only my pussy. But if he wanted to go down on me as a way of an apology, then who was I to argue?
“My sugar is fine,” he mumbles, still not letting me up.
“You’re sleep deprived and enjoying naked time. I highly doubt you’d know if your sugar is high.” He also hasn’t eaten in a while.
“I’ll check it later.”
I turn my head and narrow my eyes, but his are closed. “Who are you and what have you done with my Bennett?”
Since when has Bennett been irresponsible?
He cracks open his eyes and grins. “Your pussy ruined him.”
I laugh, using the opportunity to pull away.
“Come on, Asp,” he whines. “Come back to bed. I promise we’ll check it in the morning.”
I look at the clock on the nightstand and grab one of his t-shirts from the chair. “It’s the afternoon, Bennett. Morning was over about four hours ago.”
Gah, we’ll never get our sleep back on track. We’re going to need to go on evening runs since we can’t seem to remain conscious during the daytime.
“Fuck.” He groans. “I feel like I could sleep for days.”
Same, but I enjoy eating, so I doubt I could manage it. “I’m going to get us some water and then I’ll come back and check your sugar.” I pause, eyeing snuggly Bennett whose eyes drift close. “Unless you want to get up and check it while I’m gone.”
I barely catch the head shake before he rolls and pulls the blankets over his head. He’s adorable, but he’s going to check his sugar, even if I have to yank him off that bed naked. Hmm… that might not be a terrible idea.
Striding into the living room, I expect to see a shithole littered with beer bottles and open takeout boxes from Fenn and Drew, but I’m pleasantly surprised. Both the kitchen and the living room are relatively tidy.
“Nice to see you’re still breathing.” Fenn is putting away the dishes.
“Are you—” My mouth falls open, the words lost on me.
“Don’t get excited,” he says with a grin. “We’re hiding all the good shit for the party tonight.”
Ah. Now that makes sense.
“I figured you and Bennett wouldn’t feel up to joining us.” He scans Bennett’s shirt hanging to my knees.
“Probably not,” I return, not giving a shit that he and Drew know exactly what kept Bennett and me up all night. “I think we’ll spend the evening resting.”
Fenn scoffs. “At least eat something so you don’t pass out.”
“Like that girl I dated freshman year,” Drew chimes in, handing Fenn some of Mom’s expensive wall art, and snapping his fingers. “Passed right out as soon as her feet hit the floor.”
I smother a laugh while Fenn shoves the pictures into the pantry and tosses me two protein bars.
“I literally thought my dick had killed her.” Drew plucks a bar from my hand and tears it open before handing it back. “I wasn’t sure if I should be proud or terrified.”
“You settled for screaming like a little bitch,” my brother fills in. “I had to call Mom and promise her a visit in exchange for the medical advice.” He shrugs. “So, now we keep protein bars on hand.”
I shake my head at these two idiots who I love way too much. “Thanks for the tip,” I tell them, taking a bite of the bar and frowning. “Ugh. It’s sugar-free.”
Fenn rolls his eyes. “Of course they are. We keep the sugar ones in the nightstands, but since you’re going back to Hulk, you’ll need to feed him sugar-free garbage.”
And here sometimes I think they don’t care about each other. “You both are the sweetest—”
Drew grabs me like he’s going to put me in a headlock, like he used to when we were kids, but then pauses. “I probably shouldn’t wrestle with you in Bennett’s shirt.”
I smooth my shirt down. “Probably not,” I agree. I don’t bother telling him I have no underwear on. I think he can take a guess.
“Yeah,” he agrees. “I think I’ll keep my bones in one piece today.”
I nod and he points to the b
ar in my hand. “Is that going to be enough?”
I chuckle, then cross into the kitchen and open the fridge, pulling out two waters. “I think we can tear ourselves away to eat.”
Drew ponders my statement like he never thought you could take a break between sex.
I shake my head. “What time is the party?”
Fenn pipes up. “Eleven.”
Looks like it’ll be another salad evening. I kiss Fenn on the cheek. “I’ll see you later.” I watch as he wipes my kiss off his face before I turn to Drew and kiss him too. Unlike my brother, he doesn’t wipe it off. “Don’t break my brother,” he tells me.
I nod. “No promises.”
More than likely, his brother will break me.
Taking the bars and waters into the bedroom, I find Bennett exactly how I left him—asleep and sexy. “Rise and shine,” I sing, setting the supplies down and grabbing the black bag from the bathroom.
“Your brother made me promise to feed you.” I giggle, putting my knees on the bed and crawling over him. “Just in case you stood up and passed out like the freshman girl he dated.”
I’m not even shocked it happened. Wherever Drew goes, ridiculousness always follows.
“Ugh. Tell me he didn’t say that.”
He turns onto his back and I’m able to straddle him properly. “He did.” I hold up the bag. “But just so we don’t have to call emergency medical services, we’re going to make sure we head off any episodes.”
Bennett rolls his eyes. “I’m fine.”
That he is, but not in the sense he means. “Humor me.”
I use his words against him. “Fine.” He sighs.
There’s that word again.
I open the bag and pull out an alcohol pad and the glucometer. “Wait,” he says, suddenly more alert.
“What?”
He sits up, sliding me back with his hands on my hips. “How are you feeling?” He slips his fingers between my thighs. “Are you sore?”
I shrug, pulling on his wrist. I need him focused for what I’m about to do, not distracted with me. “I’m a little sore but nothing terrible.” I shove at his chest, but he doesn’t lay back. “Don’t even think you’re getting out of the rest of the summer.”
He narrows his eyes. “That’s not what I was thinking.”
I can never be too sure what goes on in that pretty little head of his. “I’m fine.”
“And annoying,” he adds.
“No more than you,” I return, getting back to my task at hand. I open the wipe and lay it on his chest. “We’re going to try something different today,” I tell him.
“No,” he clips. “I don’t want to do this today.”
Clearly, this isn’t the first time I’ve tried this. Unlike before, though, I didn’t have the power of my pussy. “Bennett,” I chide. “You need to learn how to give yourself a shot.”
Honestly, it weighs on my mind. “I can’t leave not knowing if you can give yourself a shot.”
He waves me off. “You could just not leave?” He offers.
How can a handful of words reach down into your soul and crush you? “I’m serious, Bennett. I need to know you can do it.”
We both know we’re out of options at the end of the summer. In order to stay together, Bennett will need to transfer and give up a year of football and possibly piss his football career away or I will need to work with Thad. Which, in all honesty, wouldn’t be the worst thing I could decide. But there’s part of me, a tiny part, that hears what my mother said. Who is Aspen without Bennett? Is she going to chase her dream or his?
I haven’t decided yet. We still have four weeks left. Hopefully, we’ll know by then.
“I’ll do it next time,” he says, after a heavy-weighted sigh.
I nod, letting him weasel out of it this time. Grabbing his finger, I clean the area and quickly check his sugar. “Have you given any more thought to transferring?”
He nods, both of us looking at the meter. It’s within range, but he still needs his insulin.
I gather the supplies as he watches me. “I think I’m going to transfer schools,” he says. “Would you be okay with that?”
I clean his abdomen and pinch the skin, injecting the medicine. “Transfer where?”
He shrugs. “Wherever you decide to go.”
My heart spasms. Isn’t this what I’ve wanted to hear for so long? “What about football?”
“What about it?”
He’s acting so casual about it, like taking a year off won’t hinder his chances in the draft.
“Football will always be there,” he says, leaning up and tucking a piece of hair behind my ear. “Why? Do you not want me to go with you?”
“No,” I return solemnly. “That’s not it.”
He sits up farther and slides the bag out of the way. “Then what’s wrong?”
What’s wrong is the fact that even him going with me won’t change the rules. We might have written the last rule of the summer, but I’m not naïve enough to think this summer will undo years of responsibility and guilt he feels towards his father. Bennett won’t change his mind after one amazing night with my vagina.
“Aren’t you tired of sacrificing for everyone else?” My words come back to me. Am I tired of sacrificing for everyone else?
Bennett’s brows furrow as he pulls me into his arms. “Are you not telling me something?”
I shake my head. “No. I’m just thinking that you’re always looking out for our families.” I flash him a sad smile. “Football is your thing. You shouldn’t give it up for anything or… anyone.”
“Are you saying you’re planning to stay in Atlanta, then?”
I tuck my head into his shoulder. “I don’t know. I’m so confused.”
And scared.
I might have hoped that one day, Bennett would change his mind and stop with the rules, but I don’t know if that hope will die right along with all the other years I’d hoped for the same thing. Being with Bennett is all I’ve ever wanted. But I’m not sure either of us should make such enormous sacrifices that will ultimately leave us in the same position we’ve been in for years.
Friends with rules.
Am I really never going to get married or have children because the rules prevent us from being together? This entire summer was a terrible idea. I should have never suggested it. And yet, I don’t know that I could have ever lived without it.
We’re a mess.
“It’s okay to be confused,” he says, the strength of his arms comforting.
“Yeah,” I agree, snuggling into him and closing my eyes, giving into the sleep I so desperately need. “Let’s just take one day at a time.”
“Fuck off.”
My dress is ruined, and it’s all Bennett’s fault.
“Your mouth is delightful tonight.”
I stop on the side of the dirt road and slip off my shoe and hurl it through Bennett’s window. “Go away!”
He dodges the heel easily and continues coasting next to me. “Get in the car, Aspen.”
“My feet will be blistered before I get back in that car with you.”
His voice is calm and not nearly as angry as mine. “I imagine that won’t take long now that you’re down to one shoe.”
“I hate you!” I scream.
“No, you don’t.”
I stop and slip off my other shoe.
“If you throw another shoe at me, you will not like what happens.” His lips flatten. “I’m tired of chasing you tonight.”
“And I’m tired of talking to you!”
It wasn’t my best comeback, but my heart has been crushed into a million tiny pieces.
“Get in the car, Aspen.”
“Go to hell, Bennett.”
The only warning I get is the crunching of gravel as he slams the car in park. I take off running, but with no shoes and gravel digging into my feet, I don’t get very far before he scoops me up and tosses me over his shoulder. “Let me go.” I beat on his back.<
br />
“No.” He tosses me into the passenger seat like I’m some kind of ragdoll. “Do not make me tie you down,” he threatens when I lunge for the door. I’m almost willing to test him, but when he squats down, his tux getting dusty as he hauls me up to meet his gaze, I decide I’ll wait it out. “Is this what you wanted?” he grits, his nose pressing to mine.
I try to shove him but at sixteen years old, he doesn’t move. “No,” I lie. “I don’t want you anywhere near me.”
It’s a lie of epic proportions. Truth is, senior prom is a total let down when you go with your BFF who refuses to dance without a foot of space between your hips. And heaven forbid, you drink a couple glasses of spiked punch and throw yourself at him.
“I’m sorry if I hurt you,” he says, his voice lower than it was earlier.
“I don’t even care anymore, Bennett,” I say bitterly. “I’m leaving for college in a couple of months. I’m sure some drunken frat boy would love to pop my cherry.”
It was a shitty thing to say. Especially when Bennett stands, giving me his back and yelling, “Fuck!”
“What do you want me to do, Aspen?” He’s in my face in a hurry, his jaw twitching in barely controlled rage. “Fuck you and send you off to college alone?”
I shrug. That’s not exactly how I’d prefer my first time to go down, but I’ll never tell him that. “At least I wouldn’t be a college freshman who’d never been kissed.”
Some things you just have to do before you get to college. And I thought if I wore a pretty dress and dragged Bennett out to some boring high school dance, he’d be happy to leave. Maybe I just wanted him to get jealous of the several stares I openly received. I was counting on him getting angry and doing something rash. What I wasn’t counting on, was him turning me down as I leaned in for a kiss on a dance floor full of my classmates.
“No one will know you’ve never been kissed,” he argues, his damn jaw still rocking that twitch.
“Well, it’s a good thing you showed me, huh?” I narrow my gaze. “At least now I will know what it’ll feel like when they laugh once they find out.”
My comment seems to deflate him. “That wasn’t my intent. You know I would have kissed you if I could.”
“Right.” I scoff. “The rules.”
