His grim look made Rainey’s heart ache.
“She drove into the hills. It was late fall, and the days weren’t too bad, but the nights were bitter cold. She disappeared, and we spent two days hunting for her, for Aiden, for the car. For forty-eight hours I had no idea where she’d gone. What had happened. There was no note, no indication of what she wanted to do, just that request to take Aiden to day care. Which I’d refused.”
Long seconds ticked by.
Rainey sat silent, praying for him. She couldn’t imagine his pain then, but she saw the pain now. Pain and guilt, a wretched combination.
“They found the car on Sunday afternoon, just before dark. Martha had gone into the lake and left Aiden inside the car. The doors were locked. He must have wriggled out of his seat because the straps were still locked in place. He hadn’t had a diaper change or food for two days, but he’d found a half-filled water bottle in a cup holder and drank that.”
The thought of that little boy, desperate and alone for two days...
Rainey’s heart broke.
This was why Luke coddled the child. This was why he’d bent over backward to make Aiden’s world safe and serene. He’d tried to soften his son’s trauma by going overboard the other way. “Luke, I’m so sorry. So very sorry.”
“I know.” He stared at the floor for a moment, then sighed. “I didn’t mean to dump all this on you, but I don’t want you thinking I’m overprotective for no good reason.”
She nodded, empathetic. “And now?”
“Now I need to back off. You’ve showed me that, and I can see that it’s working. But last Sunday, when Hillary took those shots at you, when she put him in the middle with the puppy, all I could see was that I needed to protect him. And I did. But I left you in the cold, and that was wrong.”
He raised his gaze to Rainey’s and in his eyes she saw a hint of hope. “I want another chance,” he told her. “I want you to give me a chance to prove myself to you. I can’t promise I won’t mess up, but I’ll try not to. And that should count for something, Rain.”
His confession blindsided her, but cleared up some confusion, as well. Luke was a cop for good reason. He was a protector. The shock at not being able to help his wife and protect his child had broadsided him. And refusing to take Aiden to day care that day?
That innocent choice compounded his guilt.
Rainey stood. So did Luke.
She reached for his hands, and his gentle grasp made her heart sigh. “It counts for a lot, Luke. I’ve made serious mistakes in my life, but that’s in the past, and I’m determined to embrace the present and make a good future for my daughters. But like you, I have to be careful. I can’t risk messing them up any more than I already have. And my past is still tripping up my present.”
He started to contradict her, but she silenced him with a shake of her head. “I own my past, but I’m claiming my future. So, yes.”
His quick smile said he liked the sound of that word.
“Yes, I’d like to see where this goes. You and me.” She gripped his fingers tighter. “Because I care about you, Luke. Way more than I should.”
He stepped closer and drew her into a warm hug. The shelter of his arms said she’d come home at last, and Rainey relished the feeling.
“I watched that wedding,” he whispered, “and all I could think of was how happy Piper and Zach are now. How she went through so much with her family, but it’s come out all right. I want that, Rain. I want a second chance.” He hugged her tighter, his cheek against her hair, his voice husky with emotion. “I didn’t think I deserved it, but watching them, seeing you and the girls with them... I knew I wanted a chance at that happiness. I started to think that maybe I wasn’t so undeserving after all.”
“Guilt makes a poor master.” Rainey laid her head against his shoulder. The steady beat of his strong heart soothed her fears and concerns. “Jesus was abandoned by so many of His friends at His darkest hour. And still He came back to them, blessing them with the Holy Spirit. That’s the kind of love God wants for us. Things happen, but He wants us to move on. Be free of guilt. He wants His children happy.”
“My mother has told me that same thing.” Luke leaned down and caught Rainey’s lips in a gentle kiss. “I have trouble believing it, but it gives her strength.”
“He who forgives little is loved little,” Rainey quoted softly. “But he who has been forgiven the most, loves the most.” She looked up at the clock and pulled back. “You must go. I have to be up with the girls in time to help with chores and get them to church. And I’m working at the store tomorrow, so my day is spoken for.”
“Me, too. I’ll call you. Maybe we can get together this week.”
She pointed to the calendar on the wall. “Not a chance. I have to get my holiday displays done, put together a slew of gift baskets, make my cakes and bottle the milks I need to transport, plus maintain some level of normalcy for the girls.”
“Then we’ll have two days together at the festival.” His expression said he hated to wait, but Rainey knew her limits. Making this festival successful was important to her. God had led her back here to make amends, not make things worse. And that’s what she was going to do.
“Yes. Between now and then, I’m swamped.”
“I can help.”
She shook her head. “You can’t, not really, unless you take the girls for a few hours here and there. That would be a huge help.”
“And a delight.” Luke grinned, swept a kiss across her mouth and grazed her cheek with his hand. “You are so very beautiful, Rain.”
“It was a great dress, wasn’t it?” She smiled, pleased that he’d noticed. But then he moved closer and pressed a gentle kiss to her cheek, her ear.
“Not the dress,” he whispered. “The woman wearing the dress. You’re just as beautiful right now. And if hearing that makes you blush, then get ready to blush often, because I love telling you that.”
She dropped her chin, embarrassed, but he smiled, kissed her cheek one last time and backed away. “I’ll take the girls on Tuesday after school. And then bring them here after supper, okay?”
“Okay.” Rainey wanted to sound strong, matter-of-fact, but her voice betrayed her emotions.
He winked, turned and jogged down the steps and across the yard in his well-fitted suit. At the bottom he turned. “So. You liked the tent? And the tables and chairs?”
He’d sent them to save her time. To make things easier for her. Her heart stretched wider and she leaned against the porch post, smiling. “Yes, thank you. You shouldn’t have spent all that money, but they made my life much easier this week.”
“That’s all I wanted.” He ducked into the car and offered a silent salute with his hand.
As she watched him drive away, her thoughts went back to what he’d told her about his wife. Her death. Aiden.
Luke’s honesty shed a new light on him. She saw his earnest attempts to change things to help his son, and she applauded his goals. But two people burdened by so much baggage might not be a good combination, and Rainey had no intention of wading into uncharted waters. Part of her loved Luke’s attention.
But her precious girls came first, no matter what. Prayer and time would remain her two best friends, and she had no trouble using both to avoid more mistakes.
Chapter Eleven
“I’m kidnapping you and the girls as promised.” Luke strode into the dairy store at three o’clock on Tuesday afternoon and reached for her hand. “The twins are already buckled in the car. Come on.”
“I can’t.” She planted her feet and heard Marly laugh behind her. “You’re supposed to take them, not me. We’re busy.”
“Your mother is coming over to cover. She knows you need a break. So do I. It’s been a crazy couple of weeks for you, with more to come.” He steered R
ainey toward the door, grabbed her jacket from a hook and waved to Marly, then Lucia as they met in the doorway. “See you later, ladies.”
“Luke, I—”
He turned, stopped and simply held her gaze.
“Oh. Well. When you look at me like that...” she grumbled as she followed him to the SUV.
“Like?”
“All puppy-dog cute and expectant. It’s almost irresistible.”
“I’ll make note of that.” He pulled into his mother’s drive about fifteen minutes later and tooted the horn.
Jenny and Aiden came out the side door, smiling.
The girls barreled out of the car and charged toward the house. As Rainey started to release her seat belt, Luke put out a restraining hand. “We’re not staying.”
“What do you mean?”
He grinned, waved to the kids and laughed at Rainey’s confused expression as he backed onto the road. “You and I are going horseback riding.”
The thought of riding made her smile. Luke’s timing didn’t. “I should be making signs for the booth tonight. Putting together gift basket arrangements. Tying Indian corn into bunches for decorations.”
“Except the festival takes us right into holiday time,” he reminded her as he pulled into his driveway. “So relaxing on one of the few nice days we might enjoy until next spring isn’t exactly a crime. I promised Spirit and Star we’d take them out.” He got out of the car, came around and reached for her hand, then led her to the barn. “We’ve only got about ninety minutes of daylight, so let’s not waste it arguing, okay? Let’s just ride.”
He’d saddled the horses before coming to pick her up. Star was antsy, but Spirit stood waiting, patient and strong. “You take Spirit,” Luke said. “Star gets twitchy when she’s been corralled too long.”
The big, dark horse breathed deep as Rainey drew near, then puffed out a long breath, a sigh of excitement.
“See that?” Luke smiled as he gave her a leg up. “He’s happy to be hitting the trails with you.”
Spirit was happy. Rainey sensed it in the quiver of his withers, the angle of his head, the way he tipped an ear toward her, waiting for her command. “Okay, Spirit. Let’s take a walk, shall we?”
Luke led the way out of the paddock and across the back field. His house sat midway up a sloping hill overlooking Kirkwood Lake. A creek curled downhill, not too deep right now, but a true gully washer during spring runoff. They rode together through the woods and down the hill, not pushing the horses. When they reached a broad, bright meadow, Luke gave Star her head and let her run.
Spirit followed suit, but didn’t race. He kept his pace measured and smooth, and when Star finally paused, panting, Spirit kept on, a true distance runner. When Luke gave a hand signal, Rainey slowed the aged horse into a cool-down walk.
“This way.” Luke waved toward the drop-off south of them. “There’s a great view over here.”
As they approached the edge, Rainey caught her breath. “Oh, Luke. This is gorgeous.”
The ground beneath them ended in a steep drop to the creek far below. Beyond the thin curve of water, a finger of land stretched into the lake. The village of Warrentown nestled on the narrow peninsula, making a picture-postcard scene with its old homes, new cottages, mature trees and spired churches.
“Pretty from up here, isn’t it?” he asked.
“Not pretty.” He’d brought Star alongside Spirit and Rainey turned to face him. “Stunning. It’s like a Currier and Ives print.”
“I love it,” he told her. His expression turned more contemplative as he indicated his acreage with a shrug of one shoulder. “I bought this after Martha died. I needed a new beginning. I couldn’t face our old house, and Aiden was young enough that he doesn’t recall the other place. This has been home to him for as long as he can remember.”
“It’s beautiful, Luke. A perfect place to raise your son.”
His smile deepened. “Of course, we’ve got lots of room here.”
She knew what he was hinting at. That there was plenty of room here for her and the girls. But she wanted to take things slow. Why wouldn’t her heart obey her head?
“You do,” she answered, then turned Spirit to start the uphill climb, changing the subject at the same time. “It’s getting late and I don’t want Spirit to stumble in the shadows. Not at his age.”
“I know.” Luke’s voice revealed his true affection for the horse. “He’s rallied through good times and bad, but his days are growing short. I dread saying goodbye to him.” Luke hesitated, then added, “It’s probably not good for me to get so attached, but in some cases, like Spirit’s, I do.”
“Loving your animals isn’t a bad thing,” Rainey scolded lightly. “How old is he?”
“Twenty-seven last month.”
She made a sound of sympathy that Luke acknowledged with a nod. “I try to prepare myself, but I’m never really successful. Does that make me a sap?”
“It makes you a wonderful man with a big heart,” she told him. “It’s also what makes you a good cop, Luke. Strength and empathy. The sheriff’s department is blessed to have you.”
“Thank you.” He smiled at her, matched Star’s pace to Spirit’s and ducked beneath a low branch. “We’ll get these guys put up, then have supper at my mother’s. She made a pot of stew that the kids might not like, but we will. And just in case they’re not big fans, she’s got Dad making hot dogs on the griddle.”
“Our backup plan most days,” laughed Rainey.
Once they finished tending the horses, she paused and placed a hand on his arm.
He glanced down, and the easy look of affection in those blue eyes called to her.
“Thank you for this.” She settled her gaze on the contented pair of horses. “I didn’t know I needed this, but you did, so thank you.” She stretched up on tiptoe and kissed his cheek. “Thank you so much.”
His smile called her closer, and she couldn’t refuse a sweet, shared moment beneath the gold-leafed maple. His kiss said he liked sharing time with her, alone. Talking. Laughing. Courting.
She sighed and pulled back. “Supper.”
He agreed with reluctance. “All right. But I’m glad you enjoyed the ride. Spirit did, too.”
She’d felt the horse’s joy as they’d started out, but she’d sensed his tiredness at the end, too. “It was the perfect length for him at this stage. Just enough.”
“Funny, when I think about time with you, the word enough never enters into the picture, Rain.” They climbed into his SUV and he started the engine, then turned to her. “And I love feeling that way. So if you share those feelings, blink once. If not, just pretend I didn’t say anything, okay?”
She smiled and gave one long, slow blink.
He grinned, put the vehicle in gear and headed back up the road. “I was hoping you’d say that.”
* * *
Luke looked over a checklist the following night. “Booth is made.”
“Check.”
“Cinnamon milk is bottled.”
“Yes.”
“Cakes and Christmas gift baskets are made for sampling and display.”
“Yes.”
“You’re worried about this weekend.”
Rainey scowled as she drizzled milk syrup on the last cake. “Let’s not mention it, okay?”
“Okay. But a wise woman told me that warm cinnamon milk is soothing. You might want to try some.”
She made a face at him, then straightened when a knock sounded at the door.
“I will answer.” Lucia made her way past three tired kids in the living room. She opened the door, then waved the person in. “Come in, Lacey. How are you? How is your father doing?”
Lacey Barrett unwound her scarf and shook her head. “Not well, I’m afraid. Aunt Ellen
is there right now, so I wanted to get over here and talk to Rainey. Mostly because Dad insisted.”
“Of course.” Rainey motioned to a chair at the table. “Let me finish this cake and I’m all yours.”
“Here, Lacey, sit down.” Luke pulled the chair out and then nodded toward the front room. “I’m going to grab Aiden and head home, Rainey. You’re okay with our setup plans for tomorrow?”
“Where you and Marty do all the work while I get food ready?” She smiled. “I’m totally in favor of that idea.”
“Good.”
“Good.” Lucia added her agreement, then offered Lacey coffee.
“No, not now, I’d never sleep, but thank you, Lucia. What I’d like to do is talk to Rainey about carrying our apple products at your store, and we’d reciprocate by offering a cooler of your dairy products on our side of the lake. With the weather turning and the holidays coming, it makes sense to diversify what we offer our customers. And we all know people are more reluctant to drive distances in the winter.”
“Great idea, Lacey,” Luke called out from the front room.
“I’d love that,” Rainey replied. But she couldn’t let Lacey come into this without being honest. “Our business is down, though. Since I took over.”
She didn’t wait for her reply, but moved across the kitchen, kissed Aiden goodbye and shared a smile with Luke, returning to the table once the two of them had left. “I don’t want to put you in an awkward position,” she explained. “Your family has been good to so many in this community.”
“Well, this isn’t about being good,” Lacey replied, though Rainey was pretty sure the woman’s giving nature was what had spawned the current offer. “It’s about good business and winter approaching. I see this as a smart business arrangement.”
“Mutually beneficial,” Rainey supplied, and Lacey laughed.
The Lawman's Holiday Wish Page 14
