by Carol Grace
Laurie put her fork down. “If it weren’t for the apples.” She rubbed the small of her back, still feeling the muscles ache.
“What you need is a back rub,” he said softly, watching her.
Laurie pretended not to hear. Instead she concentrated on the food in front of her. She mustn’t think of lying flat on the bed, with only a towel to cover her, being massaged by Cooper, his broad hands finding every tender and sensitive spot, his fingers so strong, so skillful, so sure. She felt her face grow warm as tingling sensations radiated through her body. She was spared having to come up with any kind of answer when Cooper looked at his watch, ate the last shrimp on his plate and said goodbye. Reminding her to be back in the lobby at four o’clock, he went back to work.
But when four o’clock came and went and Laurie and Morgan were nowhere to be found, he returned to the hotel room to look for them. When he opened the door he saw Morgan was just where she was when he’d left, flat on her stomach in the middle of the bed. Laurie was sitting in the chair by the window, facing the Falls, reading. He stood in the doorway for a long moment, staring at her. Her pale blond hair brushed against her shoulders. He willed her to turn and smile at him. The smile that made him feel that he could move mountains.
As if she felt his eyes on her, she turned slowly and smiled at him. His heart turned over. Emotions he’d kept buried flooded his mind. The peaceful sleeping baby, the sight of Laurie in the chair, her legs draped over the side, waiting for him when he came home from work. Once that was all he ever wanted from life. He’d almost had it. But it had disappeared in seconds. In one night. One nightmare. It could happen again. He could reach out for happiness and have it all snatched away again. It was better not to try, not to even hope.
He cleared his throat. “What’s happening?” he asked her.
She put her book down, stood and stretched like a contented cat, her sweater riding up her midriff showing an expanse of flat stomach. He wanted to cross the room and throw his arms around her. He ached to hold her, to kiss her, to take her sweater off over her head and bury his face between her breasts. To tell her everything he’d been holding back, everything that had happened to him.
But he knew what she’d say. It’s over. Put it behind you. Get on with your life. Take another chance. Words that were easy to say, but impossible to do. He couldn’t do it. “Morgan never woke up,” she explained. “So I let her sleep. It was nice to just sit here and read and look at the view.”
As if she was just waiting for Cooper to arrive, Morgan turned over and opened her eyes. Her delighted smile said it all. Cooper was there. It was time to get up and get going. She held out her arms to him, but he held his arms stiffly at his sides. He couldn’t pick her up. She wasn’t his. His baby was gone.
Laurie shot him a brief puzzled look, then went to the bed and lifted Morgan to her shoulder. Grabbing a clean diaper she took the baby into the bathroom. “Be back in a minute,” she said. “Are we leaving?”
“No,” he said to her through the bathroom door. “That’s the bad news. I can’t leave until tomorrow. The good news is I think I fixed it.”
When she came out of the bathroom with a clean, fresh-smelling Morgan in her arms, she said, “If you fixed it, why can’t we leave?”
He explained as best he could, in layman’s terms, how the crack had to withstand a certain pressure over a certain period of time before he could be certain. He saw her look around the room while she was listening, as if just seeing it for the first time, and he knew what she was thinking. Just what he’d been thinking. Where would they all sleep?
“Ready for that walk now?” he asked her.
She hesitated for just a minute and he thought about her sore back. “I’ll carry Morgan,” he offered. “We’ll go over to Goat Island. It’s a nice walk. You’ll like it. I don’t know about you, but I’ve been in that plant all day and I’ve got to get out. We apple pickers have got to stay in shape.” He tucked a strand of blond hair behind her ear and hoped she didn’t guess that he had to get out of that room before he got lost in the depths of her warm hazel eyes, before he lost all desire to leave her or the room until he’d kissed her again.
The night ahead loomed before them, long and full of opportunities and temptations. All of which he had to resist. The wary look in her eyes told him she was just as determined as he was to resist temptation.
They walked briskly across the stone bridge to the island, the mood considerably lighter and impersonal as they escaped the confines of the warm and charmingly seductive bedroom. Morgan was bouncing happily on Cooper’s back, and the air was cool and brisk—perfect for walking. Laurie felt a spring in her step. She ought to feel guilty for not picking apples today, but she felt alive and rejuvenated. She’d enjoyed the afternoon, sitting by the window, reading the history of Niagara Falls, and staring out at the magnificent display of rushing water. As Morgan slept, Laurie daydreamed, dreamed that she had everything she wanted, a man who loved her and a baby of her own.
When Cooper came through the door, she thought for one magic moment that it had all come true. She had to remind herself sternly that Cooper was not the man of her dreams. No matter how much electricity between them, no matter how he looked at her over the kitchen table or across a bedroom with those smoldering eyes, the look that told her he wanted her.
The heat of passion had always been there between them, threatening to explode into a thousand pieces unless she was on guard against it. It mustn’t, it shouldn’t and it wouldn’t if she could help it, and she could. She was strong, she was determined and she was not going to give in until she found Mr. Right. Cooper Buckingham was Mr. Wrong. Wrong, wrong wrong, she repeated in time to her steps.
“What was that?” Cooper asked her, striding along beside her.
“What? Oh, nothing,” she assured him, squaring her shoulders. She knew that tonight would be the real test, a test she must pass. If only Cooper wasn’t so relentlessly attractive, so appealing, so generous, so sexy—she sighed. This was not the way to prepare herself mentally for the night ahead, she realized. She should be reciting a list of his faults, not his virtues. But for the life of her she couldn’t think of any.
She stole a look at him out of the corner of her eye. He caught her glance and reached for her hand, and they walked together, the three of them. Laurie was conscious of the looks from strangers as they passed, of the smiles they inspired, aware of the picture they made—a tall man, a blond woman and a pink-cheeked baby on the man’s back.
They think we’re a family, she realized as the warmth from Cooper’s fingers warmed her all the way to her heart. But the only one who has a family of her own is Morgan. The rest of us are just playing a role, with no more idea of what it takes to make a marriage and raise a child than the man in the moon. And no more hope, either.
“You’re quiet today,” Cooper remarked as they passed a cluster of vibrant red maple trees in full fall regalia.
“Just thinking of all the apples I’m not picking,” she said with a small guilty smile.
“That’s my fault,” he said. “I made you come and now we won’t get back until tomorrow.
“I wanted to come,” she assured him. “I think I needed a break. We all did. I just wonder...” She pulled her hand from his and continued walking, her hand in her pockets.
“Where we’re all going to sleep tonight?” he asked.
She was grateful for the cool breeze that fanned her cheeks. “How the work is going back at the farm,” she lied. It was only natural they’d both be thinking about the night ahead. But if she pretended it didn’t matter who slept where, that it wasn’t important enough to worry about, maybe he’d believe her. But from the knowing look in his eyes, she was afraid he didn’t.
“I’m sure everything is fine. The workers know what they’re doing,” Cooper said with a shrug.
Laurie nodded. If only she could be so casual about it. About him. About everything. There was no future in this relationship, so
why worry about it? Cooper didn’t. She should take a clue from his behavior. If he wasn’t worried about all three of them staying in his room, why should she?
After their walk they had dinner in the same dining room where they’d met, then watched television in the lounge without really paying attention. The only thing that lodged in Laurie’s brain was the weatherman forecasting possible thunderstorms in upper New York State. But she forgot about the weather when Morgan fell asleep in her arms and they went upstairs to Cooper’s room.
He lit a fire in the fireplace, turned off the lights and they sat at the window in matching upholstered chairs watching the lights turn the cascading water into a magical display and sipping an after-dinner brandy.
Laurie knew she was in danger of falling under the spell of the moment. She knew, but suddenly she didn’t care. Yes, she’d vowed never to be taken in by another gorgeous man, by a sexy voice or by a heated glance. But Cooper wasn’t trying to take her in. He’d been upfront with her from the beginning. There was no hope of this ever turning into anything even vaguely permanent. She knew that, she just didn’t know why he felt that way.
Suddenly a flash of lighting lit the sky, more dramatic than any artificial lights, and was followed by a hollow boom of thunder. Laurie gasped and her heart pounded.
Cooper gave her a surprised look. “Don’t tell me you’re afraid of a little thunder and lightning?” he asked.
“No, of course not.” Bravely she raised her glass again then set it down on the floor with a thump. “Well, maybe just a little. But I’m fine now. What... were you going to say something?’’
“As a matter of fact I was going to propose a toast. To the future.”
“Mine or yours?” she asked, looking at him instead of the sky outside.
“Yours wherever it may be.”
“I’ve been thinking of joining the French Foreign Legion,” she said jokingly.
He choked on his brandy.
“What’s wrong? You don’t think I’d have the nerve to do it?”
“I don’t think they let women in, but I think you could do anything you put your mind to,” he said solemnly. Hah, she thought. She’d put her mind and her heart and her soul to getting married and having a baby and look where it had gotten her. Taking care of somebody else’s baby. Falling in love with men who didn’t want to get married. Not to her, anyway.
“Let’s drink to your future instead,” she suggested. “At least you know what’s in store for you, excitement, adventure taming one of the great rivers of the world.”
He didn’t look that excited about the prospect, Laurie thought with a glance at his profile in the semidarkness. She only hoped he couldn’t read between the lines, couldn’t guess that if he asked her she’d follow him from river to river. But she was safe. He wouldn’t ask.
Out of the corner of her eye she saw the lightning again, zigzagging across the night sky. She held her breath until she heard the thunder that always followed. Then she started to shake uncontrollably.
Cooper got out of his chair and pulled her up by the shoulders. “You are scared, aren’t you?” he asked, tightening his hold on her. “Don’t be.”
“I... I can’t help it. It’s stupid, I know, but I was on a flight once, a few years ago. Somewhere over Kansas our plane was struck by lightning. It knocked out the plane’s electric system. We fell 10,000 feet in half a minute.”
“Oh my God,” he said.
“That’s what I said,” she said, brushing a strand of hair off her forehead. “But I didn’t panic. The pilot regained control and I soothed the passengers. I acted like it happened every day. We continued to Newark airport and landed safely. Nobody was seriously hurt. Everybody walked off the plane.” She looked at Cooper, but her mind was miles and years away. “When I got into the airport, I fell apart. I threw up in the ladies’ room. I couldn’t sleep for weeks. Every time I fell asleep I’d relive the whole thing, the storm, the lightning, the thunder, and finally the plunge toward the earth. You know how they say the scenes of your life flash in front of you?”
He nodded.
“Well, all I could think of as we fell to our certain death was that I hadn’t collected the headsets. Isn’t that crazy?” Her voice shook and Cooper pulled her close and wrapped her in his strength, his compassion and his understanding.
Slowly he turned his head until his lips met hers, in a kiss that gave warmth, assurance and asked nothing in return. She tightened her arms around his neck and kissed him back, wanting to forget, wanting to pour out her fears, to lose them forever in his arms. The intensity of their kisses increased. She wanted more from him than comfort, but she couldn’t have it. She ought to know that by now. She pulled away, her lips tingling, her whole body aching. She reached for the drink she’d left on the floor and steadied herself with one hand against the back of the chair.
He picked up his glass and raised it. “Here’s my favorite toast,” he proposed. “May you be in heaven half an hour before the Devil knows you’re dead.”
“Where did that come from?” she asked with a shaky laugh.
“It’s an old Irish toast my grandfather used to say,” he said, his eyes warming and kindling a flame somewhere near her heart. Then he took their empty glasses and set them on the table.
He’s here, she told herself. We’re here together, but not for long. One night, that’s all. The baby was sleeping soundly. She might as well relax and enjoy it. But just as she’d willed herself to relax, another flash of lightning shot through the sky and lit the room. It was closer and brighter than the one before and was followed immediately by a loud booming roar of thunder.
Laurie threw her arms around Cooper and he gathered her in, kissing her frantically, her eyelids, her temples, her lips, seeking and giving comfort. The lights flickered and went out. Cooper lifted Laurie off the floor, staggered across the floor in the dark and set her on top of the waist-high chest of drawers.
“I want you, Laurie,” he muttered against her mouth. “Whenever I’m with you I want you so desperately. And when I’m not with you I can’t stop thinking about you. Why is that?”
Her answer was to lean forward, put her arms around his neck and kiss him eagerly, passionately, wildly while the weather outside the picture window grew as wild as their passion.
A roaring heat flared between them. Laurie’s lips parted and he delved into her mouth with his tongue, seeking, exploring, mating with hers in the most elemental way. All rational thought was gone, replaced by a frantic need, a compulsion to make her his, to take her there and then. She wrapped her legs around him to bring him closer and he felt his control slipping away. He pressed her against his chest, against his arousal until he couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think.
She made tiny noises in the back of her throat that urged him on. She was so responsive, so warm, so open, so giving. Possessed by a hunger to feel her warm skin, he slipped his hands under her shirt and cupped her breasts in his hands, massaging the tender buds, feeling them harden with need under his touch.
“Please, Cooper,” she whispered against his lips. “Please...” He cut off her words with a hot, searing kiss that left her throbbing with desire. She was only vaguely aware she was on a chest of drawers. All she knew was that she wanted Cooper, wanted him then and there. Wanted to be part of him, part of his body, part of his life. If only he’d let her, she could make him alive again, fully, completely. She could, she knew she could. If he’d let her.
Without breaking the kiss he lifted her from the chest. She tightened her legs around him, clinging to him, not knowing or caring where they were going. The world spun around her, her incoherent thoughts revolving around this man, and his strength, his masculinity, his desire. He wanted her. The certainty of that made her spirits soar. He wanted her. She wanted him. What could be more simple?
The bedroom was dark. The whole hotel was dark. The baby slept. The rain beat against the window as he took her down on the thick, plush carpet and leaned over
her. “Laurie,” he said.
The word was a question, and she answered it by reaching for him, pulling him down on top of her. The heat from his body made her dizzy. Her mind said yes, but the word stuck in her throat.
If she couldn’t tell him, she had to show him how she felt. She ran her hands through his hair, thick and dark and heavy. She pulled him closer and kissed him until he moaned deep in his throat.
“Do you know what you’re doing to me?” he demanded, his hands on her shoulders, his lips a breath away from her.
She shook her head. She wanted him to tell her, to show her.
He paused and brushed her lips with his. “Yes, you do,” he muttered, his warm breath teasing and tantalizing her warm skin.
Her hands grew restless. She wanted to touch his skin, to feel the muscles in his thighs, the hard planes of his chest. She reached under his shirt as he’d reached under hers a minute ago. She ran her hands over the crisp dark hair on his chest, reveling in the feel of him. She heard him gasp when she reached the waistband of his slacks and he breathed harder, faster.
Lightning illuminated the room once again, lasting only long enough for her to see his face above her, to see the passion burning in his eyes. The thunder rocked the floor beneath them, or was that her imagination? She clung to him, pressed her lips against his throat and tried to kick off her pants at the same time. She didn’t know how she could exist if he didn’t fill the emptiness inside her. Now. This minute.
He was busy yanking off his slacks before helping her with hers. He turned her on her side to face him, the carpet soft and warm beneath them, and tugged her sweater off over her head. He tossed it to one side and then there was nothing between them but her panties and his briefs. Her breasts were full and warm and heavy in his hands. He heard her short, quick intake of breath as he buried his face in their lush fullness.
