by GA Hauser
“Bet the poor guy didn’t sleep a wink last night.” Carl entered the studio lot, showing his ID at the gate.
Once he had parked, dashing across the busy parking lot, Carl made his way to the set and looked for Keith. He found him sitting on a folding chair, reading the script.
Pulling up a chair beside him, Carl asked, “You okay?”
Keith gave him a pained look.
“Give me your mobile number. I wanted to call you to talk about it but couldn’t.”
Before Keith opened his mouth to reply, Carl grabbed someone to borrow a pen and paper. Once they had exchanged information, Carl waved the assistant away. Staring down at the script on Keith’s lap, Carl asked, “Will you do it?”
“What the hell choice do I have?”
“You always have a choice, Keith. Sit Charlotte down and tell her you won’t.”
Keith gave a sarcastic, choking laugh.
“You want me to say something?”
“No. I’ve reread that scene a hundred times. I spoke to my agent, and he said just because I’m nude doesn’t mean they’ll show my dick on the television.”
“True. But how do you feel about being in the buff in front of the cast and crew? Are you that confident? If you are, I envy you.”
“I’m not ashamed of my body. But I have to admit I’m slightly anxious about being the only one naked in the room.”
“I can fake it. I’m under the damn sheets.”
“I know.” Keith flipped pages to the scene in question. “Look, it says I take off my clothes and stand facing you, then I climb in with you. So? It’s got to be a back view.”
“That would be my assumption.”
Keith shrugged. “Then it’ll be a quick shot of my ass. Big deal.”
“Really? You’re that okay with it?”
Exhaling in frustration, Keith hissed, “What the hell am I supposed to do if I’m not, Carl? I’m brand fucking new. If I start screwing with Charlotte now, she’ll write me out by the next episode. I need the money. I have to keep going.”
Without a thought, Carl pushed a strand of blond hair back from Keith’s eyes. “I hear you. Really, I do. If and when it’s my turn, I’ll just grit my teeth and bear it. Literally.”
Keith was staring at him strangely.
“What?” Carl asked curiously. Suddenly he realized he had touched Keith. “Oh. I’m sorry. I don’t know why I did that. I feel like an idiot. It was just hanging over your eye.” Carl went crimson. “Christ, that was really forward of me. I’m sorry, Keith.”
“No. It’s all right. I suppose the more comfortable we are with each other the easier this will be.”
Carl began beating himself up internally. Why on earth did he do that? Since he felt like a complete imbecile, Carl stood off the chair to escape. “I’ll let you finish.”
“Thanks.”
Walking away, Carl tried to find a corner to hide in. What the hell was he thinking reaching out and touching Keith like that? Was it a good thing he felt so relaxed around Keith,? Or was it something else?
~
Keith stood alongside Carl as they watched two other characters going through their lines. Keith knew they were up next for blocking. It was just a read through to get directions, so he didn’t have to peel off his clothing just yet. Or at least he didn’t think he would have to.
Charlotte beckoned them to the stage which was the set of Carl’s bedroom. Fully clothed, Carl climbed on the bed with the script in his hand.
“Okay, Keith, Dennis knows this is payment for services, so he’s slightly apprehensive.”
Nodding, Keith was glad because that’s exactly how he felt in reality.
“But as soon as your two bodies collide between the sheets, it’s magical. Got it?”
“Yes.”
“Need a script or prompt?”
“No.”
“I love you! Christ, people, the new guy already has the stuff memorized. He’s making you all look bad.” She winked to soften the tease. “When you’re ready, sweetie.”
Focusing on Carl’s expression of sincere support as he lay on the bed waiting, Keith began pretending to take off his clothing. “I hope it’s enough for you, Troy.”
“Will it ever be enough?” Carl read from the script, looking back at Keith.
“It better be. You can’t expect me to keep whoring for you eternally.” Keith mimed stepping out of his pants.
“Whoring? Is that what you’re doing?”
“Sex as payment? What do you call it?” Keith was supposedly naked now, so he faced Carl, his hands on his hips.
“I call it love,” Carl mocked.
“Love?”
Carl craned his finger at him. “Get over here. Now.”
As Carl animated lifting up the covers, Keith pretended to crawl under them.
They scooted down on the bed, facing each other.
“You know I think you’re incredibly handsome,” Carl purred, stroking Keith’s hair back from his face. “And judging by your hard-on, the feeling must be mutual.”
“It’s only hard because it’s been a long time since I’ve had release.”
“And I have to ask myself why.” Carl continued to stroke Keith’s hair.
It was relaxing Keith so much he fought to concentrate.
“You know why. You know what I’ve been dealing with. That woman is blackmailing me.”
“Because?” Carl leaned closer, almost to Keith’s lips.
Keith’s pulse skyrocketed, his breathing was getting impossible to control. “Because…I’ve been with a man.”
“Precisely,” Carl agreed.
As Carl drew nearer, about to touch lips, Keith’s heart was pumping so hard it was making noise in his eardrums.
Charlotte’s voice commanded, “Fine! You’ve already made love…move to the scene after when you’re lying back on the pillows.”
Keith dropped to his back, staring at the lights suspended from the ceiling. His body was so wound up he was in pain. How on earth was he supposed to do this naked?
Paper rattled and Carl found his place on the script. “See? That wasn’t so bad, was it?”
“No…” Keith panted. “Not bad at all.”
Carl crawled over to rest on Keith’s chest. “I could really let myself go with a man like you.”
“Don’t count on it being permanent. Think about it, Troy. My damn lawyer is protecting me from a blackmailer, while using me for sex. Do you think I’m doing this because I want to?”
“You want to.” Carl stroked Keith’s chest.
Keith suspected Carl could feel his pounding heart. He’d have to be numb not to.
Twisting around to face him, Keith cupped Carl’s jaw, feeling the stiffness of the shadow of his beard. It felt as foreign to him as Saturn’s moons. “You’re right. I lied. I’ve wanted you ever since my brother brought you to our house for dinner five years ago. I just never knew you felt the same way.”
“I do, Dennis. I was just afraid to tell you.”
“And now?”
“Now? I’m no longer married and I’m free to be myself.”
Keith knew they were supposed to kiss again here, but they didn’t. “Can I tell you a secret?”
“Of course.”
“I’ve always loved you.”
“That’s not a secret,” Carl laughed seductively. “That, my handsome lover, is a fact.”
The next act was an embrace, and the end of the scene.
Charlotte shouted, “You two are so fantastic! I can’t wait to see this tomorrow for camera rehearsal.”
Keith knew she meant without their clothing on and with all the action in place. Climbing off the bed, he felt as if he needed a shot of brandy he was trembling so badly.
Sensing someone behind him as he filled a cup with juice, Keith looked over his shoulder at Carl.
“You okay?”
“Yeah.” Keith nodded, gulping the juice.
“I felt you trembling.”
> “Shit. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t worry. I doubt it was noticeable.”
“Wish I had fucking booze.”
A low chuckle rumbled from Carl’s chest. He opened a bottle of mineral water and sipped it. “Don’t get into that habit. See that woman over there?”
Keith asked, “Betty? The lady who plays your mother?”
“Yup. She’s into the booze every shoot. Keeps it in her bra or something, I don’t fucking know. But she reeks.”
“Ew, nice.”
“You don’t have any scenes with her yet. When you do, she’ll drive you crazy. She never remembers her damn lines. I think the only reason they have her on is for nostalgia. She was in some sitcom in the seventies and Charlotte loves using the old timers to get the boomers interested.”
Keith finished his juice and poured more.
“Why don’t you sit down?”
“Christ, do I look that bad?” Keith hoped no one else noticed.
“You have to expect to be nervous, Keith. I was the same during my first couple of episodes. And I wasn’t naked and expected to kiss a guy then. I’ve had a season to get used to it.”
Keith sat down on a folding chair. Carl relaxed in the one next to him leaning over his lap as he looked at the stage and the next scene being run through.
“Can I call you?”
Carl sat up and met Keith’s eyes. “Of course.”
“I mean, just to talk over the lines.”
“I know what you mean.”
“How late do you go to bed?”
“Around eleven or twelve. I spend most of the evening memorizing.”
“Maybe we could read together, over the phone.”
“We could do that.”
Keith wondered if he was beginning to sound like he was insecure. Well hell, he was a little. “Are you sure you don’t mind?”
“I’m sure.” Carl gave him a warm smile. “If I were you, I’d be asking for some moral support right about now as well.”
“My fucking parents have no idea.” Keith lowered his voice. “I don’t know how to tell them.”
“Keith! You’re not coming out to them.” Carl tried not to laugh.
“Almost. My dad will see it as the same damn thing.”
“Oh, come on.” Carl shook his head at the thought. “It’s a job, Keith. A good job that pays well.”
“Did your parents react at all when you said you were playing a gay man?”
“I wasn’t originally. The whole first season my sexuality was kept up in the air. I suppose I should have known. When a main character doesn’t have a girlfriend? Nowadays that only means one thing.”
“So? What did they say when you told them about this season?”
Carl’s cheeks went crimson.
At his shy expression, Keith burst out laughing and was told to shush by someone near the set. He covered his mouth and whispered, “You didn’t tell them either.”
“No. Not yet. Hell, the stupid show doesn’t air for another month or so. I figured I had some time.”
Smiling at Carl’s modesty, Keith never would have thought a guy who was so popular on a hit series like this would be so cool. It was such a relief to have him there. If Carl were a snob, full of himself, or unfriendly, Keith didn’t know how he would have handled the difficulty of such a demanding role.
“Thanks.”
“For what?” Carl asked.
“For being so nice.”
“Christ, Keith, we can’t hate each other. Tomorrow we’ll be climbing all over each other in bed.”
A shiver raced down Keith’s spine. He assumed it had to be from nerves. “At least you get to wear something. I’m stuck in my birthday suit.”
“You wait. I know Charlotte. I can’t be acting all self-assured and cocky about it. It’s just a matter of time.”
~
Carl picked up some Chinese food on his way home from the studio. After eating it hungrily, he changed into a pair of loose fitting gym shorts and relaxed on his bed to memorize his lines. When the phone rang he picked it up and didn’t bother to check the caller ID. “Hello?”
“Carl? Are you busy?”
“Just reading the lines. Trying to get it in my damn head.”
“Want help?”
“You want to go through it?”
“I do.”
“Okay. I’ll try not to cheat. You start.” Carl hid the face of the script.
“Okay…ready?” Carl heard him inhale, then say, “I hope it’s enough for you, Troy.”
“Will it ever be enough?” Carl slid down on his mattress, into the soft pillows.
“It better be. You can’t expect me to keep whoring for you eternally.”
“Whoring? Is that what you’re doing?”
“Sex for payment? What do you call it?”
“I call it love.” Carl felt a stirring in his body and it almost distracted him enough to stop paying attention.
“Love?”
Pausing, Carl struggled for a minute. Before he peeked he remembered the line. “Get over here. Now. You know I think you’re incredibly handsome.” Carl imagined Keith’s face. “And judging by your hard-on, the feeling must be mutual.”
“It’s only hard because it’s been a long time since I’ve had release.”
“And I have to ask myself why.” Carl reached between his legs and touched himself. He was almost erect.
“You know why. You know what I’ve been dealing with. That woman is blackmailing me.”
“Because?” Carl strained to listen to some movement that came across the line behind Keith’s dialogue. Carl wondered what he was doing.
“Because…I’ve been with a man.”
“Precisely,” Carl said. Pausing, he added, “That’s it.”
“You’ve got it down. Or were you cheating?”
“No. I didn’t look at the script. Once I get going, I’m okay. I sometimes flounder when I begin a scene.”
“Carl?”
“Yes, Keith?” Carl stopped touching himself, suddenly feeling it was grossly inappropriate.
“I’m really nervous about tomorrow.”
“I know. Look. When you begin to take off your clothes just look at me. Forget everyone else. I’ll try my best to make you relax.”
“My luck I won’t sleep tonight.”
“The first run through is only a camera rehearsal. So you’ll get to do it without scrutiny. Next will be the dress rehearsal. Don’t worry. You’ll have a few run throughs before it gets serious. On the final taping, Charlotte gets a little more impatient. But by then, you’ll be used to it.”
“You think as this goes along, we’ll get more and more scenes?”
“I do. But that’s not a bad thing, Keith. On the contrary.”
After a pause, Carl asked, “Do you live alone?”
“No. I share an apartment with a woman named Patty.”
“Oh. Are you two…”
Carl heard Keith sigh first. “We have slept together.”
“And?”
“Well, it’s kind of a weird set up.”
“How so?” Carl was intrigued.
“I originally moved in to be platonic roommates. But one night we just did it.”
“But you didn’t refer to her as your girlfriend.”
“She is and she isn’t.”
“Does she know that?” Carl laughed.
“You know how some women get.”
“I do.” Carl looked down at his bare chest, wishing he had someone to screw, even if it was just occasionally.
“Well, she’s got this waitress job because she can’t get any work acting, and she comes home completely exhausted. I don’t blame her.”
“But you’re not getting laid.”
“Exactly. And I don’t want to go out and find some other woman, because if I brought a girl home it would kill Patty.”
“I get it. I do.”
“How about you? Are you dating anyone, Carl?”
&
nbsp; “I was a few months ago. But it just didn’t click. Now to be perfectly honest, I have decided to put my work first. I’m not actively looking.”
“How old are you?”
“Thirty.”
“In my book, that’s still young. Besides, none of these actor relationships ever work out.”
“Some do. Don’t lose hope.”
“Anyway, thanks for being there for me.”
“No problem. Any time you need me, call.”
“Thanks, Carl. I guess I’ll see you tomorrow, and you’ll be seeing more of me than you’d like to!”
