by GA Hauser
Keith forced himself to stop swooning and pay attention.
“Yes! Okay?” Carl roared, “I’m gay! Now you know. So? Disown me? Beat me? What? I don’t care. You won’t separate us.”
Betty let fly another smack at Carl’s face.
Keith hated seeing him hit, even in an acting context. Straightening his back, Keith argued, “We’re not gay. He’s just my lawyer.”
“Don’t lie to me. I saw you kiss. What do you think I am, an idiot?”
Carl grabbed Betty’s arm and led her off the patio. “You listen to me, Mother. You can’t tell what to do. I’m a grown man.”
“Cut!”
“Excellent boys. Very nice, indeed!” Charlotte yelled with her eyes on the monitor.
Carl walked back over to Keith, swaggering proudly. “You were helpless in my arms.”
“Was not.” Keith sure as shit was.
“Oh? Didn’t find your sticky fingers on my crotch this time.”
“I decided not to.”
“You were on another planet.”
“You wish!” Keith wanted to hop on him and hump him.
“Okay. That one will do, boys. Nice job.”
Carl grinned wickedly at him. “You better behave. I have another scene to do and I don’t want you distracting me.”
“What am I going to do? Flash my dick at you?”
“Don’t you dare!” Carl wagged his finger at him.
Keith puffed up his chest and pressed against Carl’s. “Who you ordering around? Hm? Big guy?”
When Carl grabbed Keith’s jaw and kissed him, for real, Keith knew they were not alone. Far from it. Pushing back he choked, “What are you doing?”
The look of complete devastation on Carl’s face cut through Keith like a knife. But Keith didn’t want anyone thinking he really liked Carl. Not here. “I was just teasing, Carl. Can’t you tell the difference?”
“Obviously not.” He repeated the line from their script but it was tinged with spite.
When Carl stormed away, Keith felt sick. “Oh God.” He didn’t want to upset him. He needed him. For fuck’s sake, he loved him.
Ken approached him to powder his shine. “You okay?”
“No. I fucked up.” Keith bit his lip trying not to cry.
“Don’t sweat it. The guy’s nuts about you.”
Keith stopped Ken and made him meet his eyes. “Did he tell you that?”
“He doesn’t have to.” Ken brushed Keith’s hair.
As he was attended for his next scene, Keith watched Carl’s performance. The man was so charismatic he upstaged everyone in the room. The anger Carl was evincing was like striking a match to dead wood. He was always on fire. Pausing to listen to his dialogue in complete awe, Keith wanted to own him, to possess him in ways he had never imagined wanting another person. “I’m insane.”
Ken chuckled softly. “No. You’re human.”
Keith gave him a soft smile in reply.
When Carl had finished his scene and it was Keith’s turn to act with another cast member, Keith waited as Carl attempted to storm past him. Grabbing Carl’s arm, Keith stopped him. “I’m sorry.”
“You have nothing to be sorry about.”
“No. You’re wrong.” Keith swallowed the lump in his throat. “We have that sex scene coming up. I don’t want you upset with me.”
“I’m not. Don’t be silly.”
“You sure?”
“Yes. Go do your scene with Marty. Go on. Concentrate.”
Checking Carl’s eyes, making sure, Keith headed to the set to continue filming the episode.
~
Carl felt so guilty for putting Keith in that position he was furious with himself. What was he thinking? Kissing him like that in front of the cast and crew? He had no doubt the leak would ooze out into the tabloid press. How did you swear fifty people to silence with a piece of meat that juicy? He had basically just sealed their fates.
He hadn’t meant to. They were flirting, teasing. It was just after they had caressed each other’s crotch, kissed like they had never kissed another soul. The power of that contact, what it communicated to Carl was love, pure and simple. It made him ache.
Leaning against a wall, watching that blue-eyed, handsome blond show so much drama and passion as he performed, Carl was in awe of his talent. It was authentic. Obviously he had been well developed in the art of theater. His stage presence was huge, and his manner was natural charm.
“Oh, Christ.” Carl brushed away a tear. “How can I fall for you? I’m such an idiot.”
~
Keith finished his dialogue scene with Marty getting a renewed sense of nerves as he and Carl were going to be taking one another’s clothing off for the next big love scene. Licking him. Keith was going to be licking Carl.
His skin broke out in chills.
They had a short break. Keith used the chance to slip to the men’s room for a quick pee, and psych himself up while Carl was getting the shine powdered off his face.
Charlotte was waiting for them near the set of Carl’s bedroom. Keith met her eyes for a moment and found her craning her finger at him. Feeling like a child about to get a scolding, he scuffed his leather soles to where she stood.
“Hey, babe,” she whispered. “You doing okay?”
“Yes. Why?”
“I just don’t want any tension showing between you two.”
“No. There isn’t. Don’t worry.” Keith figured she’d seen him push Carl away when he kissed him.
“It’s been perfection up to now. We need to keep that edge.”
“Yes. We will. Please stop worrying.”
“Good. Go get into character.”
Pivoting around, Keith found Carl already standing in his place waiting, watching him curiously.
“Get scolded?” Carl whispered.
“Yes. Never mind.”
“Okay, you two love-birds,” Charlotte shouted, “I’d love this in one take. I don’t want any break in the action. But all I can ask is for you two to do your best. Will you do that?”
“Yes, Mother.” Carl grinned sheepishly.
“More porn,” Keith muttered out of the side of his mouth.
“Yup,” Carl responded the same way.
“Right!” Charlotte backed up behind one of the cameras.
“Bedroom love scene. Take one. Action!”
Instantly Carl began shoving Keith’s jacket off his arms. Battling with everything else on his mind, Keith made the transition from himself to Dennis Jason, and did it fast.
He wrapped around Carl’s neck and kissed him, licking at Carl’s tongue and closing his own eyes. Carl backed them up to the bed.
Keith’s body was so keyed up, he knew they had lines as well and prayed they’d remember to say them.
“You gorgeous fucking creature,” Carl hissed sensually. “I need you naked.”
Keith’s skin washed with chills. “I love you so much, Troy. Let’s never let anyone tear us apart.” Carl peeled Keith’s shirt off, tossing it on the floor.
“No. Never.” Carl pushed him back on the bed, tugging off Keith’s shoes and socks quickly. Keith knew he had to start working on Carl’s clothing as well, he just needed Carl to give him that chance.
When Keith was down to just his briefs, he grabbed Carl and dragged him down to the bed with him. Sitting up, Keith worked on Carl’s shirt buttons with shaking fingers. Maybe Carl sensed his tension, Keith didn’t know, but Carl began helping getting him undressed. Keith managed to get Carl’s top half naked. Having to strip off his shoes, socks, and slacks, Carl stood off the bed. Keith had a momentary panic attack thinking Charlotte would shout out to cut the scene because Keith wasn’t undressing Carl quickly enough. She didn’t stop the action.
Jumping off the bed, Keith grabbed Carl’s face and kissed him again as Carl stripped down to just his briefs. Once they were standing, facing each other, kissing, Keith felt more in control. Digging his hands through Carl’s hair, sucking on his mouth, Keith felt Carl di
g his hands into the back of his briefs, cupping his ass. It sent a charge of dynamite through him and he moaned and rubbed their dicks together through the cotton fabric.
Carl seemed to know they had to get going with more dialogue. Keith suddenly began to lose track of the time.
Gently Carl urged Keith to kneel on the bed. Once they were both on their knees, staring at each other, Carl said, “I want you to make love to me.”
The intensity of Carl’s stare made Keith’s skin burn with fire. “I want that as well, Troy. With all my heart.”
Leaning closer, Keith licked Carl’s chest, running his tongue over his large pectoral muscle. A deep whimper vibrated under Carl’s ribs. With Carl holding onto Keith’s shoulders, Keith ran his tongue up his neck to his jaw and sideburn. Carl grabbed Keith on either side of his face kissed him, dropping them down on the bed. He rolled over on top of Keith, still kissing him deeply and creating the most overwhelming sense of heat Keith had ever felt in his body.
As Carl pressed his hips into Keith’s, connecting two very erect penises, Carl leaned back on his arms to stare at him.
The gaze sent the tears rushing back to Keith’s eyes instantly. It was so filled with adoration, it did indeed turn Keith to mush. “Oh God, I love you!” Keith gushed his last line before the end of the scene.
Carl fell back on top of him, kissing him, digging his hands into Keith’s black briefs, dragging them down his hips as if he meant to tear them from his body.
“Cut!”
Carl parted from his mouth. They were both panting and sweating.
Before Carl climbed off him, Keith caught that look in his eye again. Not acting. No way.
Slowly Carl inched away from Keith to sit up on the bed with his back facing the camera to compose himself.
A woman with a sheet rushed in to give them privacy.
Clearing his throat, his hands covering his eyes, Carl shouted to Charlotte over the blind, “Any good?”
“Beautiful, boys. Very touching.”
Keith watched as Carl exhaled a deep sigh in what could have been relief. Scooting off the bed, Keith picked up his slacks and stepped into them, fastening them as Carl did the same. The woman with the sheet lowered it and walked away.
“Well done. That’s it for you two today. Great work, guys.”
Keith followed Carl to the wardrobe area and they changed in silence.
~
Trying not to lose himself in the last scene, Carl dressed with his back facing Keith, his mind racing and blank at the same time. The amount he wanted those sex scenes to be real was gnawing at him.
Straightening out his expression, Carl noticed after they had finished changing that the next episode was being handed out. Hurrying to get his copy, he held it in his fingers and flipped the pages anxiously.
Keith leaned against his side. “More kisses?”
“I haven’t found any yet.” Carl wanted more. “Oh, thank fuck.” He found a kissing scene. Tingles washed over his skin.
Keith looked at it from his side. “Is it a good one?”
Carl closed it quickly, like he’d been caught ogling a nude magazine. Keith laughed at him for his strange reaction and found his own copy. As they walked out of the studio to their cars, Keith stopped short.
Carl imagined he’d located the scene he was just reading. Opening the door for them to exit, he called out, “You coming?”
“It looks like she wants me to.” Keith shook his head in disbelief. “I’m dressed, but we’re kissing with your hands inside my jeans.”
Smiling, Carl allowed him to pass first following him to his car. When they arrived at the Subaru, Keith leaned on the fender, reading.
Carl relaxed beside him.
“I can’t believe they can get away with this on cable.”
That made Carl smile again. “They can and they do.”
“Wow.”
Carl looked around the parking lot, watching people coming and going in the busy area.
Once Keith closed the script and tucked it under his arm, he faced Carl and whispered, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to push you away like that earlier.”
“You did the right thing. I was so fucking out of line.”
“I just don’t want anyone to know.”
Carl focused on Keith’s blue eyes. “Know what?”
“You know.”
“No. Tell me. Know what?” Carl felt his heart pounding.
Keith scanned the area, replying shyly, “About us.”
“Us? Is there an us?” Carl felt his body ignite, his cock go hard.
Those bashful light eyes had a hard time meeting his.
“Keith.” Carl wanted to touch him. To cup his face and tilt it so Keith would look at him. “Please.”
Keith tossed the script on the hood and hoisted himself up to sit on it. “I don’t know.”
Moving so he was leaning against Keith’s knees, Carl urged, “I have to know.”
Keith nudged Carl back so they weren’t in contact, taking another paranoid look around.
“Sorry.”
“It’s okay.” Keith rubbed his own legs with his palms nervously as if they were sweaty.
“I know you’re afraid.”
“Scared shitless,” Keith muttered.
“You don’t think I get that?”
“I thought it was bad enough I was pretending to be a gay guy on TV,” Keith began. “If I see you as something other than a co-worker and a friend, then I am a gay guy. Not just an actor playing one.”
“I know.” Carl was dying. There was no winning this war.
“So, I can’t see you as anything other than a friend and co-star.”
“Fine.” Carl twisted away to walk to his car. He figured that’s what would happen. He shouldn’t have had any expectations.
~
Watching Carl walk away was so hard, Keith felt that stupid lump form in his throat again. But someone had to be the smart one. How could they ruin two careers after one hit show? It wasn’t sensible. Waiting until he could no longer see the taillights of the ‘Vette, Keith slid off the hood and opened his car door. As he sat behind the driver’s seat he punched the steering wheel in fury.
~
When he arrived home Keith tossed the script on the table with his keys and picked up the phone.
“Adam Lewis, can I help you?”
“Adam.”
“Hello, Keith. I’ve been meaning to call you. I’ve got an offer for you to appear on Oprah.”
“Oh. Cool.”
“Is everything going all right? I’m excited about the new season. The premiere is coming up soon.”
“Yes. It’s actually going great. I’m loving the work and Charlotte is a kick in the ass.”
“I’ve heard she’s fantastic. I’m glad it’s not a rumor.”
“Speaking about rumors.” Keith dropped down on the sofa.
“Oh? What about them?”
“Look, we’ve had this discussion before…”
“Keith, please stop worrying.”
“No. This isn’t the same question.” Keith rubbed his face, running his fingers through his hair to his scalp.
“I’m listening.”
Keith couldn’t believe he was going to voice his concern to another soul, but Adam was gay, and his trusted agent. “If…if Carl and I—”
“Carl Bronson? Your co-star?”
“Yes. If Carl and I were to, you know, have sort of a relationship outside of work…”
“Relationship as in friendship, or as in lovers?”
Keith choked. He couldn’t answer.
“Keith?”
He managed to croak out the word, “Lovers.”
“I see…” Adam paused before he continued. “And? You want me to tell you if it’ll be damaging?”
“Yes.”
“Is it a fling? A one time thing? Or more?”
“It’s not a fling. Actually, it’s nothing yet.”
“But if it was more?�
��
“Yes. If it was more.”
Adam let go of a deep breath. “I wish I could say hurray, go for it.”
“You can’t?” Keith felt sick.
“Look, Keith, this is the strangest business on the planet. On one hand, it’s liberal, open, accepting of alternate lifestyles, and to be honest, more men and women in this field are either gay or bi than anyone realizes. But…”
“Why is there always a but?”
“There are some men who have come out, who have claimed later that it has ruined their careers.”
“That’s exactly what I thought.”
“I can’t say for sure if you and Carl got involved that way, if the same thing would happen to you both. You’re young, gorgeous, and have a whole career ahead of you. But saying that, if it does make a difference and the public rejects you, then your long careers will be a bit shorter.”
