"Who died and made you so damn smart?"
"My granny," Mamie said.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean…"
"Hush. I mean it. She and I had these long complicated talks from the time I was a little kid. She told me that about men. You ought to know it anyway, being a preacher's daughter. How did your parents act in public?"
"Okay, but…"
"No buts. Now they've been together… what… thirty something years, maybe forty? A long time. How do you figure they act in the bedroom?"
"Good God, I don't even want to think about that," Julie said.
"Aren't you glad for two personalities when you think about it? One to share with the world? One to share with just you? Now tell me about the one that's got its roots in the bedroom," Mamie said.
"You first, sister," Julie said.
"He's a stud," Mamie said.
Julie's eyes widened and crimson crept up her neck. "My brother?"
"Your turn," Mamie said.
"I wouldn't know," Julie lied.
"Liar, liar. Pants on fire. Your silk panties are smoking," Mamie said.
"Well, I wouldn't know," Julie protested.
"You've got to stop lying or your ass is going to get burned," Mamie said.
"I'm going home. I've had all the sex talk I can stand for one day."
Mamie did something between a shiver and a wiggle. "Just wires me up thinking about it. I am going to call Eli and see if we can meet at a motel for dinner. I'll bring the dessert."
"Mamie!"
"Well, hells bells, we can't meet in the parsonage until we're properly married. It wouldn't look right, now would it?"
Chapter 18
NELLIE LUCKADEAU AND HER SISTER, ELLEN, HELD COURT under the shade trees in the backyard of the Double L Ranch. Queen Nellie's short gray hair had been cut in an easy to care for, feathered-back style. She wore her trademark stretch jeans, a blue T-shirt covered with a denim overshirt, and cowboy boots. Queen Ellen's long red tresses were ratted up in a bouffant style. She wore red Spandex capri pants, a yellow tank top, and a red sequined sweater.
Julie still had trouble believing two people so different could be sisters. Lizzy and Annie were more alike, and they didn't even share the same mother and father.
"Come on around and pull up a chair with us," Ellen shouted when she saw the Lucky Clover crew arriving. "Alvera is in the kitchen getting a cup of coffee. She'll be glad to see you. We won't have many pretty days like this. Winter ain't through with us yet, but we're going to enjoy this day."
"Katy Scarlett is in the den playing, if you girls want to go in there. Tim and Richie are at the sale with their father, so you might want to go on with Griffin, Chuck," Nellie said.
"Can we go with you, Daddy?" Lizzy asked.
"You have to sit beside me and learn about cows," Griffin said.
"Does Tim and Richie have to learn about cows?"
"The sale barn isn't a place for kids to run and play. If you want to go with me, you have to be still and learn about cows. They'll be sitting with their daddy," Griffin said.
"Then we'll stay here."
"I want to go with you," Chuck said.
"Tell the boys when they get tired of cows to come play with us," Annie said.
"I'll do that," Griffin said.
Julie slapped Griffin's arm. "That was a cop out."
"It is the absolute truth," Griffin said.
"Hate to agree with a man when us womenfolks are supposed to present a formidable front, but he's right. Kids shouldn't be in the sale barn unless they are there to learn. It's a place of serious business," Nellie said.
"See?" Griffin headed across the backyard.
"Don't you go getting all high and mighty with Julie," Ellen yelled. "She wasn't raised on a ranch but she's a fast learner, so watch out."
Julie pulled a green lawn chair across the yard and joined them. "Pretty day. Won't be long until it's so hot, we'll be whinin' for a day like this."
"It don't get too hot for me," Ellen laughed.
Nellie shook her finger at Ellen. "Don't you start about all your men and the hot times you've had. Just because you've got a fresh set of ears to entertain doesn't mean you have to."
Ellen winked. "We'll send her off to get us a beer or a glass of tea in a little while and then I'll tell you stories that'll straighten that pretty red hair right out straight as a judge on Monday morning."
Alvera pulled up a chair and joined them. "She can do it. Ellen always had a wild streak. Took Nellie to keep her out of trouble most of the time. Don't know what would have happened if they'd both been wild as Ellen."
Ellen pointed at Alvera. "That is definitely the pot calling the kettle black."
"Don't pay any attention to her. I admit I was a hellcat. Matter of fact, I still am. How are things over at the Lucky Clover?" Alvera said.
"Going well, from what little Griffin says. He doesn't tell me much, but then I'm a townie. I wouldn't know if it was making millions or if it was falling into bank ruptcy," Julie said.
Ellen smiled. "We wasn't askin' about the price of hay or the vet bill."
"Now you shush up, Ellen. These kids don't need us old meddling women to get in their business," Alvera said.
Jane opened the back door and carried a cute little girl outside. The child was the absolute image of her father with just enough of Jane's mouth to make her beautiful. Jane wore jeans and sandals. Ellie was dressed in a knit pink romper with a matching hat and sweater.
Jane put the baby in Nellie's outreached arms.
"They might need meddling old women to get in their business. I can remember two other stubborn folks who benefited from their meddling," Jane said.
"Drag up a chair and entertain us before Ellen gets started telling Julie stories," Nellie said.
"So where's Milli?" Jane asked.
"She dropped off the two kids in the house with Hilda and Rosa and went straight to the barn. She says she's buying a particular heifer today," Ellen said.
"She knows cows as well as her husband. I could probably run Slade a close race when it comes to horses, but a heifer is a heifer to me. I let him take care of that part of the business," Jane explained to Julie.
"And where do you fit in?" Ellen asked Julie.
"I was raised in the city. Well, not really a city. A medium-sized town. Jefferson, Texas, over on the Louisiana border. We drove into Shreveport when we wanted something from the bigger city. I'm a schoolteacher and I understand that isn't such a good thing to be among the Luckadeaus. I reckon I could teach the cows to read or add two-digit numbers, but other than that, I'm out in the cold."
"Never know what you'll be next year at sale time," Jane said.
"In my own house again, I hope," Julie answered.
"Oh?" Nellie stopped baby talking and looked at Julie.
"I'm thinking about putting a double-wide trailer over on my five acres. Lizzy and Chuck can stay with me on the days she's not in school. The kids will have a fit when they don't get to spend every night in the same house, but they'll adjust. I'm just hoping Chuck gets to stay with Griffin," Julie said.
"Ten bucks," Ellen looked at Nellie.
"Pro or con?"
"Pro. She's sassy and she'll listen to reason instead of her heart. She'll do just what she said. Put a trailer on her own land. That's pro," Ellen said.
"You got it. Double the ante? Twenty? I say it won't happen," Nellie said.
"Fifty. I live in Saint Jo and I'm better at meddling than either one of you. Put me in for fifty on the con," Alvera said.
"What are they talking about?" Julie asked Jane.
"They bet on everything. I couldn't tell you how many times a twenty-dollar bill floated from Ellen's bra to Nellie's while Slade and I were figuring things out. Right now they're betting on whether you'll set a trailer on your acres or whether you and Griffin will stop fighting the inevitable and get married," Jane said. "Hey, put me in for twenty. Con."
"What's Ellen betting?" Julie asked.
"Pro. I'm betting you put that trailer over there on your own five acres and have a passionate affair with Griffin for a year and then marry him. You're smart enough to see if the sex is as good in a year as it is right here at first," Ellen said.
"I'll see your twenties and raise each of you five. I'm betting twenty-five that I put a trailer on my five acres and never marry Griffin," Julie said.
"Hey, hey," Jane said. "A strong woman but even the mighty fall, so Ellen and I'll see your bet. You move out of the ranch house and into your own place, we owe you twenty-five."
"Not me, if you move out of the ranch house, you owe me fifty. I'm not playing with small potatoes," Alvera said.
"Fifty to you then," Julie said.
Milli climbed over the yard fence at the far corner. Two little blond-haired boys and one red-haired one crawled between the rails and hurried off into the house.
"Who's betting with Ellen and what are we betting on?" she asked.
"Pro, Julie moves out of the ranch house and into a double-wide. Con, she marries Griffin by summertime," Jane said.
"How much?" Milli asked.
"Julie raised the stakes to twenty-five and says she's pro. She doesn't want to marry our cousin-in-law or even have a passionate affair with him. And to think we didn't like her because she was out to take Griffin to the cleaners," Jane said.
"Well, she is a schoolteacher and they can't be trusted. Put me in for twenty-five. Con. She's already been to bed with him. The fighting isn't over and the votes aren't in, but I'll say anyone who has wild passionate sex with a Luckadeau isn't going to move out and leave it behind."
"Milli!" Julie gasped.
"Truth is truth. Pour chocolate or cow shit on it and it's still the truth when you get out the garden hose and wash it down. Griffin sent me to bring the boys in to play with Lizzy and Annie and to bring Julie back to the barn. He says you need to see what it's like to be on this end of a sale. I already bought my heifer. Griffin is spitting nails because I outbid his sorry ass," Milli said.
"Well, that's just great. I have to go contend with him after you make him mad," Julie said.
"Five. Pro." Ellen looked at Nellie.
Nellie shook her head. "I ain't losin' my money."
Julie followed Milli a few steps and looked back. "What were they betting on that time?"
"Whether you already know about that wild passionate Luckadeau sex," Nellie said.
"Don't put me down on that one," Milli yelled as she went over the fence.
"You are all crazy women," Julie said.
"Probably, but ain't it fun? And only a Luckadeau man could put a glow on a woman's face like you got, so I'm not losing my money betting you haven't had sex. It's pretty evident that you have," Milli said.
Julie just smiled.
"See, you aren't even denying it," Milli said.
"I don't kiss and tell. It might have happened, but then it might not have," she said.
"Don't play coy with me, Julie Donavan. Is he any good?"
"Only a Luckadeau woman knows about the glow, so you tell me."
Milli laughed.
"I'm going to grow up and be like Ellen," Julie said.
"Then you'd better lose the bets and get on with life. That woman has had at least four husbands and I wouldn't want to see the tally sheet on her affairs. It'd take the rest of your life to catch up to Ellen. She's forgotten more than you'd ever know even if you started right now."
"Ellen?" Julie couldn't believe Milli. Maybe the woman still didn't like her and was putting her in a precarious situation with the three older women.
"She grew up in the casual sex, burn-the-bra-and-to hell-with-it-all era. She can tell stories that would put an erotic romance writer to shame, and most of them begin with, 'Well, I bought a bottle of Jack Daniels and guess where it led me.' She'll never grow up."
Julie smiled. "I hope not. She's a sweetheart."
"She's a first-rate hussy and when she dies she'll bust into heaven a first-rate hussy. She's never going to change, either. Nellie is a sweetheart. She'd do anything for anyone. There is Griffin up there. First row on the balcony. Stairs are over there by the bathrooms. I'm going to the other side where Beau is looking at a few calves," Milli said.
Julie climbed the steps up to the balcony overlooking the sale floor. Griffin motioned her over but kept a few inches of space between them when she sat down. Two elderly men in bibbed overalls were on his other side. Griffin wore jeans and a faded blue T-shirt. His straw hat rested on the seat between him and the older men. He couldn't think if Julie was touching him, not even shoulder to shoulder, and he really wanted to buy a particular heifer.
"This is Julie Donavan and this is Harvey Limens and Tom Miles." He made introductions when she sat down.
"Pleased to meet you," they said in unison.
"Likewise," she said.
"He says you're his lucky charm. His cousin's wife got a heifer he wanted and he says it's because you weren't here," Harvey said.
"I did not," Griffin raised his voice just slightly.
"Well, you damn sure should have," Tom said. "Honey, if he don't want you to be his lucky charm, you come on over here and sit by me. I'd even pay you to be my lucky charm."
"Man got a lucky streak in his hair shouldn't need a lucky charm," Harvey teased. "Wish I had all that black hair with a white streak in it. Maybe I'd get the pretty red-haired girls."
"Old man, you'd just like to have any color hair up there on that bald head of yours," Tom said.
"You're one to talk. All you got is a monk's rim left."
Old men or old women. Seemed they delighted in pestering each other. Julie wondered if Harvey and Tom had already put down five- or ten-dollar bets on whether she'd bring Griffin good luck.
Slade and two of his hands herded a massive Angus bull into the center ring. Griffin leaned forward, placing his forearms on the rail in front of him, and studied the creature while they walked him around the pen.
Julie studied the man. He was the best thing since ice cream on a stick and she was in love. A quick pass through memory lane in a hayloft and her hands went clammy.
"Biddin' or passin'?" Harvey asked Griffin.
"Passin'. He's a fine old boy, but I'm not in need of new blood right now," Griffin answered.
"I'd buy him just to stand out there in the pasture and look pretty," Tom said.
"Not if I wanted him," Harvey said.
"We going to get into it?"
Harvey leaned forward and raised his hand when the auctioneer started the bidding. "I think we might."
"What are they doing?" Julie whispered.
Her warm breath was so close to his ear that passion stirred in his blood. He forced himself to think about something else. The heifer he wanted was coming up for bid soon and if he started thinking about Julie, Milli Luckadeau would bid it right out from under him. After he'd bought the cow, Julie had better be careful or he'd have her naked in the hayloft so fast she'd wonder if she'd ever even dressed that morning.
He whispered back, "Bidding against each other. They're both richer than Midas. Harvey is from west Texas. Milli grew up on the ranch next to his. Tom is from east Texas. They're old time sale barn buddies."
Tom raised his hand to outbid Harvey and glanced over his shoulder at Griffin and Julie. "Y'all don't be talkin' about us. Pay attention to each other and not to us. I come up here next year, I expect to see a baby."
"Baby cow?" Julie asked.
"No, a baby Luckadeau."
"Stop your meddling, old man. They can take care of their own business without you," Harvey said.
"Will you save me a dance tomorrow night?" Tom asked Julie.
"Going once, going twice," the auctioneer said.
Tom raised his hand to up the bid. "You old fart. You nearly caught me off guard. Now that bull is going to cost you double."
"Why are they doing that?" Julie asked.
"It's a game from here on out and benefits S
lade. Neither of them needs the bull. They both want it to win the game. It's kind of like the pile in the middle of a table at a poker game."
"But the money?" She gasped when she heard the bid go in excess of five thousand dollars.
"It'll get higher. That's one of Slade's registered bulls. He'll go for at least ten thousand and maybe higher if these two keep up a bidding war. Slade has raised him and about ten others for this day."
Getting Lucky Page 31
