by Tara Brown
“Oh yes, water and power and military.” He lowers his voice, “We should talk somewhere else. Back at your place.” He nudges Mr. Milson.
“Okay, let’s go to my place. You probably want a hot meal.” Mr. Milson’s worried eyes dart to mine. But he ignores whatever is nagging at him and leaves the lodge, heading for home. “What's going on, Harold?” he asks when the four of us are alone.
“They sent me back here to sniff out others.” His eyes land on me again. “Like you and me.”
“Oh.” I want to argue but there’s no point. He senses me the way I sense him. We hum together.
“Sent you back here?” Kyle sounds lost. “Who?”
“The president.”
“There’s really a president?” I scoff, clearly the only one who isn’t taking this as seriously as I should. “He actually lived?”
“Yes. He moved to Boulder instead of rebuilding. Said it was a better place to be, easier to stop the undead. And the East Coast isn’t faring well. Sewers backing up in the coastal cities and flooding."
“So why does he want people like us?” I’m a bit confused.
“He wants us detained. All bitten and all biters and all undead need to be taken care of.” His tone lowers, becoming grave, “He wants us dead.”
“What do you mean he wants us dead?” Kyle asks but I know the answer before old Harold says it in his hushed whisper.
“They know.”
“How?” The word trembles from my lips.
“The people in the South, they’ve started their own country, or so they say. They’re proving their strengths.”
“What?” It’s Mr. Milson’s turn to be confused. “Who knows what? What’s happening here?”
“Come on.” I grab Mr. Milson by the hand and drag him to his cabin. When the four of us are alone, I pull out the knife he gave me and open it.
“Lou!” He tries to grab my hand, but I move too fast and slice my palm, just as I did before. He gasps but then the blood does the weird thing it does: it floods my palm and then moves back inside the wound, sealing me up, lights and all. “What the hell?”
“That’s not all.” My shaky voice isn’t strong, though I prove I am. I grab Kyle and swing him into my arms, carrying him like a princess. He’s twice my size but I hold him in my arms like he’s a feather.
“And she can run thirty miles an hour. We clocked her on the road down from here,” Kyle adds, still held tight to my chest.
“Thirty miles?” Harold sounds surprised by that one. “The fastest one in Boulder could run twenty-seven. Were you a runner before this?”
“I was athletic.” I place Kyle down gently.
"She's modest. She was fast."
“How is this—?”
“The bite.” I lift my hand and show Mr. Milson.
“Jesus. You were bitten and you survived and now you’re this? What are you? A nanobot human? An undead zombie? Do you crave biting others?” He backs up once, eyeing up my hand.
“No. Sometimes I have the urge to be with the undead.” My eyes dart to Harold’s. “We hum the same.”
“Yes, we do. Which is how they plan on using me and the other guy they sent here. We’re to find anyone like us and bring you to Boulder. They fed us a pack of lies about it being to everyone’s benefit if we kill the undead together, saving the normal humans. And yes, in the beginning that was true, they were moving the ones like us to the cities and using us to kill the undead. But then the ones like us in the South started organizing and now everyone’s up in arms and they just want us all dead.”
“They told you this and yet sent you here?” Kyle asks the question I’m also wondering.
“God no. They have no idea I know. Being a feeble old man has some perks. People speak in front of you.” A grin grows infectiously across Harold’s face and mine. “And it helps that they don't realize how far we can hear. Not everything has been disclosed. Once we realized what was happening, we stopped fessing up to everything. Just the obvious stuff.”
“So the people like us know they can’t trust the government?”
“Oh yes.” He nods at me, his eyes darting from me to Kyle and to Mr. Milson. “We all agreed to get the people like us and head south. Go where we’re safe.”
“Where we’re safe,” I repeat, uncomfortable with the idea.
“You can’t stay here, you aren’t safe. None of us can stay with the normies, Lou. We have to go south.”
“Normies?” Mr. Milson asks, clearly not getting it.
“Normal people. Like you.”
“But my whole family group is filled with normal people. I can’t just abandon them. I have little kids counting on me. A little sister.”
“Bring them.” Harold’s eyes glisten. “In the South it’s the more the merrier.”
“Isn’t the South filled with the undead? I heard they migrated there during the winter.”
“The undead are not an issue down there.” He answers me, still smirking almost.
“And what happens if we stay up here?” I ask.
“They will eventually figure out who we are. You’ll be spotted and captured and killed. Boulder is a free city.” The glisten in his eyes is replaced with something else: horror. “The undead are all gone. Several cities have been cleared. Walls are built and manned. Guns and ammunition have been gathered. The military used these last months wisely. Honestly—” he pauses and laughs, shaking his head.
“What?” Mr. Milson presses him.
“It’s—well—it sort of seems like maybe they knew. Ahead of time.”
My insides tighten. “They did.” I don't know how much I trust him, but he’s shared so much, I might as well be upfront with him. “The military made this happen. By accident, sort of. They made the nanobots, the robots in our blood, and were going to use them for terrorism and other things. One of the doctors got sick or something and changed the programming in the robots to judge humans and kill instantly if you’d sinned a lot or they let you live if you were a good person, but you had to bite to spread them to the next person. I don't know that he intended for us all to be zombies.”
“No,” Kyle interrupts, “it sounds more like the robots would turn off after a week of judging everyone—one week to infect everyone. And all that would be left were people who were innocent enough to not be judged. He thought the world would be perfect then. Cleansed. And the military couldn't stop him.”
“So they tried to change the switch. The scientists were able to change the switch off to a kill signal. It would self-destruct the zombies.”
“They did this to us?” Mr. Milson stares right at me.
“It seems like they did.”
He sighs heavily. “Well, I guess I’m not surprised. Just disappointed. How could they do this?” He’s lost some of the color in his cheeks and glisten in his eyes. “All those people.”
“Yeah.” I don't know what else to say. He’s right. How could they do it? How could they be so irresponsible? All these people dead and gone and lost.
“I guess it doesn't matter now.” He sighs. “Now we carry on. We find the people like us and we survive this. At least until the government realizes we are merely trying to have lives and not be a threat to them.”
“Sounds like we need a plan.” Kyle’s eyes dart to mine.
I don't want a plan. I'm honestly tired at just the thought of trekking down South with the Littles, Furgus, Jamie, and Sasha. Miles, Erin, and Lee wouldn't be an issue, but everyone else would literally be the worst.
Chapter Eighteen
They stare at me, blank faces and confused gazes.
I gulp and wait for the bottom to fall out. None of them speak, even Kyle seems a bit lost on it, though he was there with Harold and Mr. Milson.
“You want us to leave here?” Miles finally speaks.
“Yeah.” I nod blankly at him. I don't have a single other gesture in my arsenal.
“And travel south to where the biters and the undead biters who aren�
��t quite human or changed are?” Erin’s eyes narrow in on the bite mark on my hand.
“Yeah.”
“No.” Jamie gives her brother a plea with her eyes. “We can’t leave here.”
“There are zombies on the roads below. They try to come up here all the time. The guards have been killing them for a while. Eventually, we will run out of bullets and they’ll make their way up here. We’ll be sitting ducks. The main road could wash out and you’d starve up here.”
“And the gas,” Kyle points out, “it has a shelf life of like a year. Eventually, it’ll expire. So it will be too late to flee then.”
“What?” Erin gives him a look. “Is that true?” she asks Miles.
“I have no idea, but he would know. He knows everything.” Miles sighs.
“We have two options: stay here and hope to God this whole mountain community works out or go south—”
“Well,” Mr. Milson interrupts, “there’s also the choice of going to the city. Boulder is a free city, no dead. Everyone would be safe from biters and anything else. Harold says they’re taking normies. People like us. They let them come in and give them houses and food and jobs.” He clearly hates saying it but he’s right. They would all be safe there. I am the only one not wanted in the city.
“But we can’t leave Lou.” Lee grabs my hand, squeezing tightly.
“You can.” I act like I was part of this plan. I'm not and it’s killing me but it's what my dad would do. He'd sacrifice himself. It's my turn. My stomach aches and my heart pounds and my throat dries, but I know this is right. “You’ll be able to keep the Littles safe there.” My voice cracks.
“Lou,” Miles says as everyone gives me a look, the same look, “we can’t split up. We have to stay together.”
I don't answer. Instead, my gaze drifts to the top floor of the house where the Littles are coloring and playing. They have the door closed, no doubt so we won’t hear whatever little things they’re giggling about. I can’t bear the thought of leaving my sister but this hillside isn’t going to keep everyone safe. It’s covered in snow half the year, and with only one road in and out, it has the chance of becoming a trap. Me being up here makes it safe. Me being gone or dragged away, takes all the safety away.
“The problem is, I can’t stay here or go to the city. They will eventually find me and my bite and—they’ll kill me.” It’s hard to choke out that last part but it’s the unavoidable reality. I won’t risk my sister because I’m scared of being alone.
“She’s right. Harold says they’re working on ways to find the nanobots so they’ll be able to track people like Lou. He says they’re killing them. And she can’t go to the city, they’ll have ways to test her. There are borders and guards and gates. She won’t be able to fool them. One cut and you can tell her blood’s different.” Kyle states it all as if he’s just come to the conclusion I’m right.
“Lou,” Miles repeats my name in a way that tugs on my heart. I’m fifteen once more, and he’s smiling from across the room. He has no idea what that smile does to me. “We can try to hide it."
"No." I pull my knife out, making Mr. Milson wince as I do the exact same thing, showing Erin and Miles what I’ve only told Jamie and Lee about. My blood pools and crawls back up inside me, healing the wound with blue lights.
“Yeah, one cut and she's dead.” Erin’s eyes dart to mine. “If Lou goes somewhere else, I say we all go.” She surprises me with that.
“No,” I argue like I believe in what I’m saying, even if I’m terrified. “The Littles have to go to the city. They can’t stay here and they can’t come south. Not with that many biters. You guys have to all stay together. I’ll worry otherwise.”
“Where will you go?” Lee’s eyes fill with emotion as she asks it.
“South. I’ll find the others like me. See if we can’t convince the government we mean them no harm.”
“But if we stay with you, you can keep us alive.” Erin reveals what she’s most worried about.
“No. Taking you out there would be brutal. I’ll get you to the city but then I have to leave you.” The words hit me twice as hard as they hit them. The truth of my bite and my differences and the government are too much for me to think about, but adding the fact I have to leave my family is crushing me. My chest is tight as I struggle to breathe.
Kyle slips an arm around me, pulling me to him. I want to cry but I can’t. I’m so stunned by the realization that I’m going to be alone, I can’t cry. Not yet.
Lee leaps at me, holding me tightly. “I’ll keep them safe,” she whispers. “I’ll protect them.” I love that about her. She doesn’t try to come with me. She doesn't try to protect me. She loves me so much as a friend that she knows what’s the only thing I care about and swears to keep it safe. Keep them safe.
“This is a bullshit idea.” Miles points at me, his eyes red with emotion. “I don't care about some stupid bite and some robots healing you. This is stupid. We can’t separate. We can hide you, Lou.”
“You can’t, not from this,” I argue. “I can hear and sense someone like me from a good distance. We almost talk to each other without talking. Like the robots are talking.”
“That's messed.” Erin wrinkles her nose. “But Miles is right. We can’t let them separate us. We need to fight this.”
“I want to. I want to find the others like me and try to make the people in the city see we’re not a threat. We don't bite or spread our problems.”
“That’s too bad. I could go for some of that.” Erin laughs bitterly. She’s a sick killing machine who loves ending people’s lives. Giving her superhuman strength and abilities might not be the best idea.
“I’ll figure this out, even if it means me and Erin come with you.”
“Miles, you have to keep the Littles safe for me.”
“They’ll have Lee and Jamie and Sasha and Mr. Milson and each other. They’ll be fine.” He says it like it’s final. “And Kyle.”
“I’m with her.” Kyle holds me tighter. “Where she goes, I go.”
“No.” I turn sharply. “You have to keep my sister and her friends safe. You have to swear.” I panic. He was the one I was counting on. Not Lee or Jamie or Sasha. I wasn't even counting on Miles and Erin. But Kyle, I believed he would keep my Littles safe.
“I’m coming with you, Lou.” He stares me down, lowering his face so he’s all I see, mesmerizing me with his green eyes.
“You can’t. You have to keep Furgus and the girls safe. Please. I need you.”
He stares for a long moment, desperate to say the opposite of what he ends up saying, “Fine.” He’s defeated.
“I will find you again.” I swear it on my life. He doesn't know that, but I do.
“I don't want to do this,” he whispers.
“Me either.” I lift my face to meet his, pressing my lips into him. We kiss and tears almost flood my eyes but I stop them. I push back and stumble away, climbing the stairs to the Littles. I listen for a moment at the door at the top of the stairs, savoring the second of their giggling.
I don't know what they’re talking about but the fact that new crayons has brought them joy still makes my chest swell as I turn the handle and smile wide. “Hey, girls.”
“Hey, Lou.” They all talk to me the way I used to talk to my mom.
“What are you guys doing?”
“Coloring.” Joey scoffs. “What does it look like, silly?” The three of them laugh at me. I don't even mind it. I’m going to miss it. I’m going to miss them.
Furgus lifts his mammoth head to assess the situation and lies back down.
“Okay, well I’m going to make dinner.”
“Okay,” Joey says sarcastically, sending them into laughter again as I close the door. They laugh harder.
“Little brats,” I mutter. Kyle doesn't meet my gaze, none of them do.
I go back down and start making dinner, unsure of what else to do but needing to be busy.
“Do you wanna ask Harold
if he wants to eat with us?” I ask Mr. Milson as he strolls over, giving me a weird scowl.
“No. He shouldn't spend too much time with us.” He leans against the stove as I open cans of soup and beets. “This is shitty idea, kid. I know it's the only one, but that doesn't change the shittiness.” His voice makes it harder to be optimistic.
“I know.”
“And while I agree, we need to get out of here, I don't know that the South or the city are the only answers.” His words lift my gaze to his. I wonder if mine is as steely as his. “Maybe we could find a cabin or a house somewhere, a farm. We could make it work. Build a life and keep ourselves safe, away from the rest of them.”
I part my lips to agree when Kyle interrupts, “And what about when someone decides they want our farm or when thieves come to steal or someone gets sick? What about when the government comes for Lou?” Kyle sounds hollow. “She’s right. This is our only option. This hillside is a death trap waiting to be sprung. The Littles will be safe in the city. We all will. And from inside the city I can figure out a way to get Lou there.” He doesn't look at me. I don't blame him. If his heart is half as broken as mine, he’s dying inside. “We’ll leave tomorrow night. Get vehicles and gas and take everything and go in the night.”
“And if we take the southern road through Cody, Thermopolis, and Rawlins we might avoid some of the congestion.”
“That’s like three hours longer than just taking the I-90 and I-25.” Is he insane?
“I know but the freeways and more populated areas are going to be harder to get through. More chances of government patrols, crashes, and zombies. And carjacks.”
“I guess.” I scowl. The idea doesn't sit well with me, but this entire plan doesn't sit well with me.
Instead of worrying about it, I finish making dinner while they make plans.
Eventually, Lee comes into the kitchen, her eyes are puffy and red. She sniffles, tucking her frizzy hair behind her ears. “You know I don't want to leave you, right?”
“I know.” I don't want you to leave me. I don't want to be different. Or alone.
