It didn’t take long for him to notice. He began tossing small responsibilities her way—making her part of the brainstorming team for one project, putting her in charge of gathering quotes for another, and finally letting her deal face-to-face with a client. That had been her crowning moment. The client loved Kristin because Kristin had actually listened. She had the uncanny ability not only to understand what her customers wanted, but more importantly, what they didn’t. Reeves saw that right away and it wasn’t long before clients were requesting Kristin. She became his most sought-after and successful account executive in a matter of months. She was a VP by the time she was thirty-five.
She’d never forget that promotion. Molly was so proud of her. They’d gone out to a very fancy dinner and had checked into a five-star hotel for the weekend, ordering room service and making love for two days straight. She could still see the glittering delight in Molly’s green eyes, shining on her, making her feel like she was capable of anything just because Molly believed in her.
It had gone steadily downhill from there.
She glanced at her own eyes in the rearview mirror, noting the dark circles and the appearance of some fairly new crow’s feet. She’d always gotten compliments on her looks and she’d learned to use them. During her career, her All-American, blond-haired, blue-eyed appearance, she had to admit, had gotten her through more than one door that was otherwise shut tightly. Now, she hardly recognized the tired, haggard-looking woman gazing back at her.
I’m aging way too fast, she thought, depressed. I look ten years older than I am.
Shaking her head, she mentally replayed her telephone conversation with Molly the day before, when she’d called to tell her she was going to arrive later than she’d thought.
“You promised,” Molly had said, the low volume and tone conveying two crystal-clear facts to Kristin: she was trying to keep her voice down so the others didn’t hear her, and she was pissed. “You promised you’d be here today.”
“I know, baby. I know. I’m really sorry. I can get there tomorrow morning.”
Molly’s silence might as well have been her shrieking in anger; it meant the same thing.
“Look, Mol, I know you’re upset. I don’t blame you. There just isn’t a lot I can do about it, so I need to accept the fact that I’ve got to stay one more day and finish this stuff that Jack needs done. It’s a huge project and it’s going to bring in a bunch of money and five new accounts for us. And I’ll get a bonus for my time. We’ll go someplace fun with it, okay? Maybe take a long weekend in New York? See a show? What do you say?”
“I say, why don’t you take Jack to a show?”
The line had gone dead after that and Molly had either turned the phone off altogether or just wasn’t answering. Kristin had called ten times since then and had connected only with Molly’s voicemail.
Now, not only had she not been able to get a hold of her partner, but she was also half a day later than she was supposed to be. If Molly was pissed already, things were only going to get worse.
“Like that’s anything new,” she muttered aloud. It seemed like Molly was mad at her more often than not these days. Suddenly annoyed at the harsh volume of the stereo, she hit the off button. Silence closed around her.
She pumped the brakes of the Lexus gently, coasting to a stop at a stop sign. Visibility was getting worse as the sunlight faded into dusk. God, she hated winter. Dark at four thirty, gray, sunless days. She should have been born in Arizona or New Mexico or Southern California. Someplace warm and sunny. She wanted to retire to the Southwest, but pulling Molly away from her family would be a Herculean feat, one she wasn’t sure she had the energy for anymore. Pushing smoothly on the gas pedal, she urged the vehicle forward again, clicking on her high beams. They only made her attempts to see worse. She’d just have to take it slow and hope no deer decided to leap out in front of her car. That was the last thing she needed.
She peered at the directions she’d scrawled on the back of a takeout menu and tried to come up with a good opening line for when she saw Molly. For about the seventeenth time in the last couple of hours, she reached across for the Blackberry and looked at the screen, hoping the little telephone icon that indicated voicemail was just late in showing up. She was stung that Molly hadn’t even called her to make sure she hadn’t driven into a ditch somewhere. Of course, if Molly had been checking her voicemail, she would have gotten Kristin’s pathetically cheerful message letting her know that she’d lost track of time, but was heading out and would be there before Molly knew it.
Kristin rolled her eyes at herself. That was dumb. She shouldn’t have been cheerful, she should have been angry. Pissed off that Jack had held her up yet again. Molly might have related to that a little better.
What the hell happened to us?
She pressed a hand to her forehead as she felt tears spring into her eyes. “God damn it,” she said to the quiet inside the car. This had been happening more and more often lately. She wanted to blame it on PMS, on her emotions being too close to the surface because of her period, but it was happening at all times of the month. She’d get to thinking about Molly and her home and her life and the issues and frustrations would close in on her until she felt like she was going to have yet another panic attack.
And then she’d cry.
She missed Molly.
It was a vicious cycle that had begun about a year ago and had proceeded to rotate ever more quickly as time went on. She’d become stressed at work, she’d get home late--again--and try to be cheerful about how well work was going. Molly would get quiet, Kristin would feel guilty and throw herself further into her work, come home later and more cheerful, buy Molly something expensive. Molly would get quieter. Kristin could see the cycle very clearly, like it was painted as a giant mural in the sky for her, but she had no idea how to slow it down, let alone how to stop it.
“A little more support from my wife wouldn’t be a bad thing,” she said aloud, wishing somebody—anybody—was listening and at least attempting to understand. “Is that so much to ask? I’m working my ass off here. Why is it so hard for her to understand that I’m doing all of this for us? So we can have a better life? A worry-free retirement? Why can’t she try, just once, to see things from my side? Why is that so difficult for her?”
The Blackberry buzzed from its place on the seat and Kristin jumped at the sound, snatching it up before it stopped vibrating, hoping it was a message from Molly. She frowned when she looked at the screen and saw there was an e-mail from the client she’d just sent a project outline to before she left.
“Jesus Christ, can’t you people leave me alone for five seconds?” she muttered at the apparatus through clenched teeth. She punched a couple of buttons and read, her eyes ping-ponging from the electronic device to the windshield and back.
Hi, Kristin—
Just a couple of small inquiries regarding the proposed outline. Jack said you’re away from the office, but you’d have your Blackberry and would call ASAP. I’ll wait to hear.
Thanks so much!
Howard
“Great. Thanks a lot, Jack, you prick.” Damn him. Sometimes she really thought he was useless. He dumped so much stuff in her lap, she might as well be running the joint. No, she was running the joint. Just without the fancy title and the larger paycheck. The entire firm would fall apart if it weren’t for her holding it together.
She flung the Blackberry back to its nest on the passenger seat once again and heaved a huge sigh.
She was just so goddamn tired.
*
Twenty minutes later, she made the right-hand turn that took her down the slightly snow-covered driveway of Amy and Jo’s place. The flakes were beginning to thicken, falling steadily, and Kristin was grateful she had arrived in one piece, happy to stop driving for the time being. Throwing her Blackberry and its attachments into her soft-sided leather briefcase, she hauled it and the Pullman suitcase Molly had packed for her out of the SUV and tromped
up the driveway toward the cabin. She could smell the fire burning in the air, and the light spilling out of the front windows gave off a warm, inviting glow. Knowing Molly was inside both excited her and terrified her--a combination of feelings she was almost used to at this point.
Her breath was visible in the chilly evening air, mingling with the falling snow, leaving no doubt that she was in the Northeast. A part of her smiled inside, feeling at home in this weather she always claimed to despise, knowing it was in her blood regardless of how much she loved the sun.
Her leather boots protected the bottoms of her pants from the wet snow and for that, she was grateful. She hadn’t taken the time to change out of her stupidly expensive pantsuit, wanting to simply get in the car and escape, but now she wished she’d been dressed a bit more casually, especially when the door was opened by Amy, who stood there in her sweats looking adorable and the slightest bit relieved to see she had finally arrived.
Kristin found herself immediately enveloped in a huge hug, which she tried to return despite her full hands.
“You made it.” Amy’s tone was unsuccessful in hiding the fact that she was actually surprised.
Kristin felt immediate guilt set upon her shoulders like a wet, cold blanket. “I did. It’s good to see you.”
They moved indoors and Jo took Kristin’s bags and coat. The interior was just as warm and cozy as the outside glow had suggested and Kristin felt herself relax ever so slightly. She took in the faces of the four other women--well, the faces of three and the back of Molly’s head as she concentrated on the video game she was playing on the television.
“Come in. Let me introduce you.” Amy hooked her arm in Kristin’s and escorted her farther into the cabin. Gesturing to the club chair, she introduced the dimpled blonde who was reading a book, a small dog curled in the crook of her knees. “Kristin, this is Laura Baker.”
Laura smiled. “I’d get up, but…” She pointed at the dog, then reached out and shook Kristin’s hand warmly. “Nice to meet you, Kristin.”
“Same here.” Kristin followed Amy to the living area where two women sat, one on the couch and one on the floor, both alternating between watching what Molly was doing and looking at the newcomer.
“This is Sophie Wilson. She created our logos.”
“Guilty as charged,” the woman on the couch said with a grin.
“That was really nice work,” Kristin complimented her as they shook hands. “I loved both designs.”
“Thanks.” Sophie looked pleasantly satisfied.
“And this is Jo’s niece, Darby,” Amy went on.
Darby stood and Kristin didn’t miss the quick once-over as Darby’s blue eyes slid along her body. “Heard a lot about you.”
Her handshake was firm and Kristin noticed a subtle clicking as she talked. She caught a quick flash of metal from Darby’s mouth. Tongue ring. She refrained from making a distasteful expression. “All good, I hope.”
Darby smiled, but didn’t answer. The silver hoop in her eyebrow reflected the firelight as she sat back down next to Molly, not leaving a whole lot of distance between the two.
“Damn!” Molly heaved a sigh as the words “Game Over” flashed on the screen.
“Hey, you did great,” Darby said, squeezing her shoulder. “Look. You’re the number two high score.”
“I’m going to beat you.” Molly’s voice was light, teasing. “Sooner or later, I’m going to beat you. You know it.”
Playfully, Darby snatched the controls out of Molly’s hand. “Promises, promises.”
Kristin stood in minor discomfort as she waited for Molly to acknowledge her arrival, knowing this was her punishment for being so late and she had to take it like a big girl. Finally, Molly stood and turned to look at her, her face stern, but a faint flush in her cheeks. Kristin wasn’t sure if she was happy to see her or still excited by the game. She didn’t allow herself to dwell on the answer, just enjoyed the little jolt that she still got every time Molly focused those intense green eyes on her. After seven years together, she was still amazed by how attracted she was to her wife. Molly was beautiful, even when she was ticked off…especially when she was ticked off. Like now.
“Hi, baby.” Kristin stepped forward and put her arms around Molly, ignoring the fact that the hug returned to her was halfhearted. “I missed you,” she added softly, both hope and truth coloring her voice.
“I missed you, too,” Molly said, giving in slightly, her arms tightening just a touch.
“How about some dinner and a glass of wine?” Amy offered. “We saved you some chicken.”
“Oh, my God, that would be wonderful. I’m starving.” Kristin slid her hand down Molly’s arm and linked their fingers together, suddenly relieved to be with her. Molly was looking over her shoulder at the game Darby was playing.
“How was your drive?” Jo asked, returning from upstairs where she’d deposited Kristin’s bags.
“Uneventful. It snowed pretty steadily, but nothing too scary.”
Jo peered out the window. “That Lexus good in the snow?”
“It’s not bad. I’ve been pleasantly surprised.” At the sound of dishes in the kitchen, Kristin squeezed Molly’s hand to get her attention. “I’m going to go up and change out of this monkey suit, okay?”
“’Kay,” Molly answered distractedly, her eyes still focused on the television screen. “On the left, Darby! The left! Good.”
Kristin headed upstairs, peeking in both rooms looking for her bags. Finding them on the queen-sized bed, she headed over to it, taking in the soft comforts of the room itself, feeling a little like she was at a bed and breakfast in the woods. The idea wasn’t unpleasant and she gazed out the window at the snow sparkling in the moonlight. Breathing deeply, she tried to exhale all the stress of the past couple days, wanting to see it dissipate in the air like steam.
That was when her Blackberry buzzed from inside her briefcase.
“God damn it,” she muttered, rifling through the leather case and pulling out the contraption. Reeves’s number showed on the screen. “Son of a bitch,” she said to the room, took another deep breath, and clicked on.
“Hey, Jack. What’s up?” Quick and to the point, hoping he’d notice her clipped tone and take the hint.
“Just wanted to make sure you got Howard’s e-mail. I told him you’d get right back to him.” His booming bass voice vibrated in the pit of her stomach. She used to find him powerful and intriguing. Lately, he just annoyed her.
“Yeah, I got it. I’ll give him a shout in the morning.”
“He’s working late tonight. You can catch him at his desk right now.” His tone left no room for doubt about what he expected.
Kristin poked the inside of her cheek with her tongue. “Fine. I’ll call him now.”
“That’s my girl.” The line clicked off.
“I’m not your girl, you asshole,” Kristin whispered as she dialed her client’s number. Standing at the window, gazing out but not really seeing anything, she waited while the phone rang on the other end. Once, twice, three times…she allowed the hope for voicemail to creep in, thereby jinxing herself. The line was picked up. Damn it.
“Howard Felt.” Her client’s voice was gentle and friendly. She liked the guy and it irritated her that Reeves was making him the enemy.
“Howard. It’s Kristin Collins. How are you?” As she listened to his response, she turned away from the window. Molly stood in the doorway, her face a combination of hurt, anger, and disappointment.
“Five minutes,” Molly said. “You’ve been here all of five fucking minutes. Jesus Christ, Kristin.” She turned and tromped back down the stairs, her footsteps reverberating against the hardwood.
Kristin closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose with her thumb and forefinger, knowing she didn’t stand a snowball’s chance in hell of staving off the headache that was suddenly ripping through her mind like a freight train. “I’m sorry, Howard. Can you say that again? I think my phone c
ut out for a second there.”
Thursday, December 29
The Gang's All Here
“I hate that I always let it get to me like this.” Molly sniffed, determined not to cry, but still feeling the threat of tears welling up in her eyes. She swiped at her nose with her mittened hand and held tighter to Darby’s elbow as they plodded through the new-fallen snow, their boots leaving a path of fresh tracks behind them in the woods.
“Why wouldn’t it get to you? You’d have to be pretty cold and unfeeling for it not to. And I don’t think that’s who you are.” Darby strolled casually, enjoying the feel of Molly beside her, holding fast to her arm.
It was early. Only Jo was awake when Molly had come down the stairs looking like she hadn’t slept more than five minutes in a row the entire night.
“Hey, gorgeous,” Jo had greeted her, the expression on her face a mix of sympathy and concern.
“Morning.” Molly had kissed the top of Jo’s head as she passed. “I need some air. Is there a travel mug around here? Me and my coffee want to go for a walk in the snow.”
“I think there’s one in the cupboard over the stove,” Jo replied.
Darby had suddenly appeared out of nowhere, much to the surprise of both other women. “Want some company?” she’d asked Molly, ignoring the pointed stare from her aunt.
“You do know that the sun’s not quite up yet, right?” Molly teased.
“Yes, I’m aware of that.”
“Just making sure. Get dressed. I’d love the company.”
“Be right back.” Darby had disappeared into the bathroom to change and was back in record time.
Fresh Tracks Page 8
