by Ron Vitale
In the morning, I awoke to a bright and frigid morning and was called to help in the kitchen. I went down to do my work and knew that I had only hours to decide. I knew what my choice would be, but I wanted to hold off making the actual decision for as long as I could. My life would change, and that frightened me, so I threw myself into cleaning the pots, the dishes, and lost myself in my work. I only had hours left before the world that I knew would change forever, but I didn’t know that then. I thought I did, but I actually knew so very little. And that would be my undoing.
***
Alessia opened her eyes and she stood beside my younger self. I pointed at my youth and said, “This is the moment in which everything all changed for me, and I want you to experience it so that you know why I made the choices I did.”
She reached out to touch my younger body, but it was all an illusion. Every last bit of it. Her hand went through the eighteen-year-old me and said, “We don’t look alike.”
“No, we don’t.” I turned away from the illusion and watched Alessia. She had crossed her arms over her chest and leaned on her right leg.
“You are the master of illusions, and you’ve lied to me my entire life, and now, suddenly, out of the blue, I’m supposed to trust that you have my best wishes at heart because you’re showing me your past?” She shot me a glance and asked, “Really?”
Time was running out, and I knew that I had to speed this along. “I don’t expect you to forgive me or to understand my motivations, but I need you to realize that what I’m showing you will help save you. If you believe nothing else, trust me on that.”
Alessia weighed my words, bit her lip, and asked, “And of the Moonstone? What of that? Is that another trick to get me to trust you?”
“The Moonstone is calling you. It is yours as well as all its power.” I came closer to her and turned back around pointing to the illusions. “But you need to know what you’re up against. It’s important that you are ready, and everything you’ve ever learned about magic and its use is at the ready. Are you ready to go back in?”
Alessia nodded. “I don’t have much choice, do I?”
I shook my head. “No, you don’t. If you leave now, I doubt you would survive what’s coming for us.”
She went to respond to me, but a flicker of light called us back, and I reached out to take her hand. She kept quiet, relented, and uncrossed her arms and took mine. Together the illusion wavered, and we slid in, like we were sinking back beneath the waves of a lake. The world changed and we fell forward as two observers taking part in bits of the past.
***
After a quick check in with the kitchen staff to help with breakfast, I headed to Denise’s room. I only had hours left before I needed to give my house lord my response and knew that I did not have much of a struggle over my decision. I wanted to learn how to control and use my magic. Without him, I would not be able to do that. I broke off a piece of bread that I had taken from the kitchen and popped a piece in my mouth. Still warm and soft, the freshly baked bread warmed me as it went down.
At the end of the hall, I saw Mary from the kitchen. She stopped me and asked, “Can you bring this plate to Denise for me? I haven’t had a chance this morning. It’s early yet, and she’ll want some breakfast.”
“Of course.” I carried the tray and headed down the hall. The oatmeal smelled delicious. Mary had put a dash of cinnamon and a dab of maple syrup on top with a small pat of butter. At the far end of the house, I came to Denise’s room and knocked on the door.
Harold walked past me and tipped his hat to me as he headed off to do his chores. I watched him go and realized that today would be the last day that I would be a servant in this house. My role would change, and I would need to talk to the house lord about that. A mixture of fear and excitement went through me. I wondered what my friends would think.
I opened the door to Denise’s room and walked inside. A pungent smell hit me at once, and I wrinkled my nose at the horrible smell. And then I saw her, she had fallen out of bed onto her injured shoulder. I rushed over to her, and in my haste, spilled the oatmeal onto the tray as I placed it on the bed.
“Denise, are you well?” The darkness in the room made it difficult to see. I went to turn her over, and I froze. She felt cold to the touch. When I repositioned her, I saw a pool of black bile around her mouth. Her face was frozen in a mask of grotesque pain. I screamed and let go of her and then screamed louder.
Harold came running into the room, and on not being able to see, he opened the shutters to let the light in. He tried to waft away the stench in the room with his hand. “My God, what is that smell?”
I collapsed onto the floor and let the tears out. He came over to me and turned Denise over and drew himself back in surprise. With more light in the room, I could see that her shoulder bandages were covered in puss and dried blood. He pulled me up and carried me away. “Come with me.”
Harold rested on the bed and called out for help, and I just cried. A rush of people came into the room. Mary came in, saw the scene, and rushed over to me. “Come here.”
I went into her arms, and she pulled me out into the hall. “I wanted to see her last night but didn’t go. I was too tired. Now I didn’t even get a chance to say good-bye. I didn’t know. I just didn’t know …”
Mary shushed me and wrapped me in her arms. A mother thrice over, she rubbed my back and positioned my head on her bosom. “It’s okay. It’s not your fault.”
“She looked so well when I last saw her. I don’t understand.” My tears and a line of mucus fell onto Mary’s apron.
“When the doctor arrives, he will tell us.” She pulled me away from the room and walked me back toward the kitchen, but I hesitated.
“I need to go back and help.” I turned back, but Mary held me strong.
“You will be of no help there. Let the others take care of her. Come with me.” She tilted my face up off her chest. “Trust me, you don’t need to be in there. You saw enough.”
I acquiesced and allowed her to lead me back into the kitchen. I sat on a chair for a bit and then went to my room and fell onto my bed and cried. The attack, my fight with the house lord, and Denise’s death took too much out of me. I collapsed and needed time to rest.
A knock on my door startled me. Through bleary eyes, I glanced up and saw my house lord walk in. He closed the door behind him and sat on the chair closest to my bed. He had never been in my room before. I could see him glancing around assessing whether he approved or not. But he hid his thoughts well and made no attempt to comfort me, but said, “The doctor believes Denise was poisoned from the arrow.”
“But why didn’t anyone see this before? We could have saved her.” None of it made sense to me.
He furrowed his eyebrows and replied, “The other citizens who were wounded by arrows just died after Denise was found.” He found a speck of dirt on his sleeve and flicked it off. “It was magic that did this.”
I pulled myself up and wiped my nose on my sleeve. “How do you know?”
“The arrow tips were coated in a magic poison that activated only after a certain amount of time. The Southerns are showing their strength and want to demoralize us.”
“Then we must go kill them.” I sat up in bed and stopped my crying. “I have magic as do you. We will go there and unleash our fire on them. I will make them pay for killing Denise.”
He reached out and put his hand on my shoulder. “I understand your anger, but we need to plan how to respond. Rushing off and killing might make you feel good, but it won’t win us the war. Powerful I might be, and raw are your talents, but a potion of this sophistication was made by an experienced warlock or witch. And we don’t know if there is more than one of them. There could be an entire coven of witches.” He took his hand off of me and said, “I promise you that you will get your revenge, but it cannot be today. We will need to plan this and learn more before we strike back.”
“I want to join you and become your pupil.” I wi
ped the tears from my eyes. “I need your help to learn how to control my magic.”
He rubbed the back of his bald head and smiled. “I already knew you would accept.” He leaned back in his chair and thought for a moment. “Go to your friend. See him and tell him what you must, but you will need to leave this house tonight.”
“Will I never see Stephen after tonight?” I asked.
“Stephen?” My house lord acted surprised. “I thought you would see Charles on your last night.”
I had forgotten all about Charles in my grief. But Stephen’s name rose up in my heart. “No, I need to see Stephen tonight. I will be back in the morning.”
“In the morning, I will send you farther north to be trained. It is too dangerous for you to stay here.” He got up and headed to the door.
“But won’t you be training me yourself?”
“I can help you at times, but I have thought it over, and you need someone stronger than me.” He opened the door and stepped into the hallway but turned back. “Be back by midmorning and I will take you up north myself.”
I went to thank him, but he ignored me and had already left the room. I grabbed my coat, put on my boots, and rushed out. People called to me, but I just ran until I left the house and stopped to take a deep breath of the frigid air. I headed to the western part of town. I had only been to Stephen’s house two times before. He lived with his aging grandmother who he helped as best he could.
The white snow on the road and houses reminded me of my youth and how beautiful the winter looked and how clean it made the world. I rushed through the streets, and there was little foot traffic this morning. When I arrived at Stephen’s house, I knocked on the door and was surprised that he answered. He still wore his sleeping clothes.
“Morning, my lady of the rags.” He joked with me, but then noticed my eyes were red. “What’s wrong?”
“Denise has died.” I said the words and a fresh round of tears came over me.
He pulled me inside and then wrapped me in his arms. “What happened?”
“I have so much to tell you, and I need to leave tomorrow.” I rushed the words and had so much more to say.
“Leave? Where are you going?” He led me through the tiny home and from the back room on the main floor, I could hear his grandmother snoring.
“I don’t know. My house lord is sending me off.” I hesitated and knew that he would see through my lies. “I have something that I need to tell you.”
“Let’s go upstairs.” He brought me to the second floor to his rooms.
We sat down on his sofa and I looked out the window and could see clouds were coming in from the west. It looked like snow. “I need to tell you something, but I don’t know how you will take it. But I need you to know before I go tomorrow.”
He sat next to me and crossed his legs. “What?”
“I love you.” I said the words and knew they were the words he wasn’t expecting to hear. His face lit up surprised, and then he kept his feelings hidden. “I have so much more that I want to tell you, but I don’t know where to begin.”
“Just talk. I’m listening.” He uncrossed his legs and leaned his body closer to me.
“Denise died by a magic poison in the arrow tips.” I threw my hand up and said, “And I know this because my house lord is a warlock and he has offered to train me in the magical arts.” I rushed the words out and expelled them from me. They came out in a jumble, and I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly.
“I love you too.” He pulled me close to him and wrapped me in his strong arms. “But …”
I finished his sentence for him. “You like men.” I pulled away from him and glanced down at myself. “And I’m not a man.”
He flicked his finger at me like he wanted to tap me gently on the forehead. “You silly, I like boys and girls.”
“What do you mean?”
“I’ve told you from the beginning that I am attracted to both men and women. From when we first met, you told me that you like Charles, and I accepted that.” He rubbed his beard on his chin. “But the more we spent time together, the more I started having strong feelings for you, and I realized that I was hurt more because you had chosen Charles over me. I’ve wanted to be with you for a long time now.”
“Why didn’t you tell me that?”
“I did tell you that night that we fought at Charles’ house. And I never brought it up again because I was jealous of him.” He put his head in his hands. “And I didn’t want to steal my best friend’s girl from him. He’s lost his legs and I thought it in poor taste to try and …”
I rushed forward and kissed him. I knew it was wrong, but with Denise dead, being sent away, and the war upon us, I wanted to forget all that and lose myself in Stephen.
He did not push me away but kissed me back. His kisses were tender, and a slow flame burned in them that stirred me. I did not give him time to change his mind. I pulled off my dress and threw it across the room and then slid out of my undergarments. I knelt naked on the sofa and fell forward into his arms. He smelled earthy, and his mouth tasted of anisette from his breakfast. I pulled his breeches off and pushed him back onto the sofa.
Stephen tried to talk, but I shook my head and quieted him with a look. I took his limp penis in my hand and then went down on him. I licked the tip and then put him in my mouth. He became excited and quickly stiffened for me, and I moaned in pleasure. Sliding his penis out of my mouth, I came down and licked his scrotum. He had no hair in his genital area, and I spit into my hand and then slid my hand down his fully erect penis. I gently tugged at him a few times and then let go.
His cock twitched and he pulled me up to him and kissed me deep. Our tongues touched and a complex array of feelings washed over me. Contentment, pleasure, and completeness. I watched him, but he kept his eyes closed when he kissed me, like a little boy, kissing for the first time. He fell back onto the sofa and then straightened his legs and pulled me to rest on him. My bush brushed against his penis, and I reached down to position him. He stared up at me hesitating and waited. I looked into his eyes and saw trust and love there.
I nodded and waited for him to respond, and he nodded back. Then he thrust up inside me, and I slid down on his cock. I fell forward and bore down on him, grabbing his muscular arms. He opened his mouth slightly and took in some air and held his breath and thrust back up into me. He positioned his hands on my buttocks and lifted me up, and then I’d come back down on him hard. We started slow, but then a need overcame me, and he thrust faster into me. I wanted him to fill me up and to complete me. I knew it all wrong but didn’t care. I only wanted to enjoy the time, to forget about the outside and my problems and his, and to let the moment rise up and clean away the darkness within.
Stephen pulled me up and off his cock and held me up and off of him. He clenched his muscles and his penis twitched and hit the side of my leg. I reached down and positioned him into me and then he thrust up again. I leaned back and felt adrift in a wild sensation of ecstasy. He pulled me up and off of him again and went to move me to the floor, and I shook my head.
“I want you to come inside me.” I leaned onto him and watched his face as I told him what I wanted.
He thrust harder and faster, and I allowed my need to consume me. Our bodies slapped together and we moved well in unison. I arched my back and moved my hands to his chest for balance, and he lifted me up and off of him, and then I’d bear down while he thrust into me.
“Come for me,” I commanded.
He slid his penis into me several more times, and I could feel his body tensing up, tightening, muscle by muscle, until he pulled himself fully taut and then grunted out in his release. I imagined his semen filling me up, and I watched his face, a mixture of joy and complete abandon and his grunt turned into a wild cackle of laughter. I sped up and slid down on him and then pulled myself up, held a second, and bore down on him, and a light went off inside me and I came as well. The rush surged up within me and I smiled, and he contin
ued to release himself in me. I took in his semen, his joy, the laughter, and wrapped it all up within and watched him collapse back onto the sofa spent, and my mind raced and I cried out in pleasure as my legs shook.
He took his hands off my buttocks and then wrapped me in his arms. “I love you.”
His words came natural and were true, and I responded in kind. “I love you too.”
I pulled myself up off him but then slid back down and saw his eyes roll back up into his head. He reached down and pulled himself out of me, and I collapsed onto his chest. I rolled over to the side and he half hung off the sofa to make room for me. Holding his penis in his hand, he pulled down on it and flexed his leg muscles and his penis twitched and white semen dribbled up and out, falling off the tip onto his stomach.
He stared into my eyes and smiled and then leaned forward to kiss me. Fresh, true, and loving, he fell back onto the sofa and closed his eyes. I did the same and could hear his breathing, and I reached over and rested my hand on his chest. I could feel his heart beating, and I took a deep breath, held it a moment and then exhaled. I giggled, and he opened his eyes and laughed along with me.
I put my hand on his cheek and said, “Thank you.”
“You are welcome.” He put his hand on the small of my back and pulled me close to him. “I’m worried about you.”
“I’m tired now. We can talk later. Just hold me.” I nestled my head into the crook of his neck and closed my eyes.
He did the same, and we fell asleep on the sofa. I heard the stove in the corner of the room, the wood crackling and popping in the fire, then drifted off to sleep. I collapsed onto him and my grief, anger, and fear all were washed away. All that remained was tiredness. The day passed and still we slept like two doves nestled together from the storm.
***
I reached out to my younger self and Stephen as they slept on the sofa, but the image faded and vanished from sight. I stood there watching the empty floor, and remembered that Alessia stood beside me. “I’m sorry.” I didn’t know what else to say.
