“I can’t wait to see her. My granddaughter. Has Ruby seen her yet?”
I sniffed. “Elliot has just gone to get her. She stayed with a friend overnight.”
“Give both my girls a big hug. We’ll let you get settled in at home before we visit. Nicola is champing at the bit to catch up with you.”
“Congrats, Rebecca.” I heard her in the background. They’d been living together for months, but I was still adjusting to it. Their happiness came first, and they were blissfully in love. Her parents were even okay about it after the initial shock. I think baby Noah had taken care of that.
“I will, and please say hello to Nicola. I’ll tell her all about it when you come over.”
“Have you spoken to your mother?”
I gulped. The baby wriggled in my arms as if reminding me she was there. Her eyes were closed, and she distracted me for a moment. I wondered if she was dreaming and if so, what she was dreaming about.
“I … umm … not yet. She’s next.”
“She’s trying. Really hard.”
Tears rolled down my cheeks. I wanted to be closer to Mum, feel the same way I did about Dad, but it had always been so difficult to get near her before she pushed me away.
“Okay.”
“Don’t cry, sweet pea. I love you so very much and I’m so happy for you and Elliot. We’ll see you soon.”
“Okay. Bye, Dad,” I whispered.
Hanging up the phone, I hugged my baby tight, planting kisses all over her face. “You will never have to worry about anything like that, I swear. I love you.”
I sniffed again, wiping the tears from my face. Dumb hormones.
I couldn’t face calling Mum yet—maybe when I got home. Dad said she was trying, but I wasn’t sure I could handle it if she was hungover and not really listening, or still drunk from the night before.
The baby capsule sat in the corner on a chair. We’d brought it in with us the night before, and I climbed off the bed now, and picked it up with my free hand. Placing it on the bed, I put the baby in her little crib beside me and fussed with the harness, getting it ready to put her in it and take her home for the first time.
At home, we had her nursery ready. She would sleep in our room alongside our bed for the first few weeks at least, but Ruby and I had decorated the baby’s room together. Sure, it had its share of Disney princesses, but it was a project we had loved doing together. I couldn’t wait for Ruby to see her little sister.
I turned at the sound of a tap on the door, and the doctor entered.
Last night, I’d felt as if I’d been on display to half the hospital. This morning, I had no problems answering questions that might have otherwise made me blush. But we got the all clear to go and that was all that mattered.
My phone buzzed, and I smiled as I picked it up.
I’ve just parked. If you’re good to go, get our daughter ready. I want to take you two home.
Sweet, sentimental Elliot. What a big softy. I rolled my eyes, but smiled to myself. I couldn’t wait to get home either.
I scooped the baby up and into my arms, lifting her gently into the capsule. She snuffled and looked around, as far as her eyes could see, anyway. My beautiful girl.
The door opened, and Ruby came running in with her father right behind her. She hugged me around the leg, and smiled up at me, jumping up and down.
“We’re going home?” Elliot asked, nodding at the capsule.
“We sure are. I can’t wait to get out of here.” I ruffled Ruby’s hair. She held up her arms for a cuddle. “Sorry, sweetie. Not for a couple of days. I’m still a bit sore and tired from the baby being born.”
Ruby bounced up and down. “I want to see the baby.”
“Come on.” I nodded. “Get Dad to help you up on the bed and you can see her.”
Elliot lifted her up to sit on the bed and she gasped as she looked into the capsule. “She’s so little.”
I looked up at Elliot in time to catch the wistful look in his eyes. He’d never had that time with Ruby when she was so new.
“I bet you that your mum snuggled you up like this when you were a baby, too. I think she looks a lot like you, don’t you?” I ran my fingers through Ruby’s hair, playing with the crooked plait Elliot had put in it.
“She has no hair.” Ruby sounded flat, disappointed.
“She will soon. Wonder if it’ll be dark like mine, or light like you and Daddy.”
Pouting, she turned back toward me. “I hope she’s like me.”
I opened my arms and she leaned over for a hug. I loved this little girl with all my heart, and in my crazy, emotional state, the tears rolled down my cheeks.
Ruby looked up at me. “Becca? Why are you crying?”
I wiped the tears with my free hand. “I’m just so happy. I have you and Daddy and the baby. We need to work out what to call the baby, Ruby. What do you think?”
She smiled at me. “That’s easy. Olaf.” Her hand covered her mouth as she giggled, and I shook my head with a smile.
“That’s from Frozen, right? God damn it, Rebecca. This is your fault.” Elliot sounded bemused rather than annoyed.
“Ruby?” I leaned my head on my shoulder, looking at her.
“Anna. She’s Anna.”
Elliot sighed. “Let me guess. That’s from that movie too.”
“It is, but it’s not a bad suggestion.” I turned my head to smile at him, only to see a huge grin on his face.
He ran his fingers through his hair, sighing again. “No, it’s not. Damn it.”
“That’s a naughty word, Daddy,” Ruby said, wagging a finger at him. “You said it twice.”
He smirked, pulling her off the bed and swinging her around. “Yes it is. I’m naughty.”
She giggled again. That still sounded so good, especially when I thought of the shy little girl who had come to see me that first day. I was settled and content, knowing I would be spending the next few months at home with the baby and spending more time with Ruby.
My two little girls.
* * *
Dad turned up at home in the afternoon with Nicola and Mum. I didn’t want to ask how that had happened, but Mum seemed okay, rushing to hug me before even looking at the baby.
“Congratulations, darling. I’m so proud of you,” she said.
Nicola grinned. “Hurt like hell, didn’t it?”
It was still weird to see my father with a baby in his arms. My little brother, Noah. But Dad seemed content.
I nodded. “Sure did. After she came out, I swore I’d never have another one, but not even twenty-four hours later here I am thinking about round two.”
Elliot looked up in surprise. He’d been sitting on the floor with Ruby, holding Anna’s hand and smiling at her.
“Not now. One day.” We shared that loving look I’d always envied between Olivia and Logan. This one was all mine.
Nicola took Noah from Dad’s arms and sat on the couch beside me. The little boy smiled at me, and I tickled him under the chin. This wasn’t weird at all, my mother on one side, Nicola on the other.
Dad leaned over to give me a hug and a kiss, producing a small wrapped parcel from their nappy bag.
“Ruby, I got you something,” he said.
Ruby looked up with big eyes, her face glowing as she stood and jumped to Dad. He squatted beside her. “I know it’s hard when the baby gets so much attention, and I know you love her very much. But here’s a little something for you because we love you, too.”
He gave her the parcel, stroking her hair and she hugged him tight. “Thanks, Poppa.”
Dad grinned. I think he loved this just as much as he loved being a father again.
“Come and see Anna,” Ruby said, grabbing his hand. She sat beside him, tearing open the gift as he clucked over the baby with Elliot.
“Becca. It’s a necklace.” Ruby ran over to me, holding the precious jewellery in her hands. It was a little heart pendant with her name engraved on it.
“
We got that because we wanted you to have something special just for you,” Nicola said.
I unclipped it, hanging it around Ruby’s neck, and she patted it before running back to Dad.
“She’s going to make such a good big sister,” Mum said.
In that moment, the sorrow I felt for Mum was overwhelming. Here Elliot and I were, over the moon with our new baby. Dad had finally moved on and was settled with Nicola and Noah. Mum was all alone.
“She will do,” I said.
“Rebecca, I’m going to meetings.”
That handful of words held so much meaning, although it wasn’t the first time she’d promised me she would go.
“I’ve been sober for three months. It’s hard, but I just have to keep going.”
I watched her face as she spoke. She meant it; I could see that. Maybe having the new arrival could help focus her; she could help me more.
“You know you’re welcome any time, Mum. While I’m home it’d be nice to spend some time with you and good for you to spend time with Anna and Ruby.”
She took hold of my hand, and we were closer than we had been in years in that moment. I squeezed her fingers, and she smiled. “Your father called me to see if I was coming to visit, and he and Nicola were kind enough to pick me up. But they needn’t worry, and neither should you. I’ll come over whenever you need me. I want your trust back.”
All this time she knew I’d struggled with believing anything she’d said. It had nearly killed our relationship, but maybe this little added incentive might help keep her on track.
I wasn’t sure about trusting her to look after my children yet, but we were one step closer to becoming friends again. Something we hadn’t been in years.
Nicola nudged my arm. “Look down there.”
Dad and Elliot were deep in conversation, completely absorbed by Anna and Ruby.
All I could do was smile.
* * *
Lunches at Le Grande were a thing of the past now. We’d all moved on.
I unlatched and pushed the wooden gate open, walking into Katya’s backyard. The lady herself was in a lounger, soaking up the rays beside the pool, her pregnant belly sticking up to greet the sun. She looked beautiful, but I wouldn’t have expected anything less.
“That food smells amazing.” Elliot came in the gate behind me, the capsule in his hand. Anna had fallen asleep in the car and he carried it gingerly, even though a herd of elephants couldn’t disturb that girl from her slumber.
“Can we go in the pool?” Ruby tugged at my hand. We might have a pool at home, but this was somewhere new, exciting, and her swimming costume was on under her clothing.
“I just want to say hello to the girls and then we can go for a swim.”
“Katya,” I said, making my way through the inner pool gate. She took off her sunglasses and smiled.
“Rebecca, it’s so good to see you. And the family.” Ruby tucked herself half behind my leg.
“Look who’s here. My girls.” Dad’s voice came from the right. Of course he’d be here with Nicola.
Ruby let go of me, running straight into Dad’s arms as he scooped her up, kissing me on the cheek as he came close. “Hi, Dad.”
“We're going swimming,” Ruby said.
“Are you, sweetheart?”
She nodded. “I’ve got my togs on under my clothes.”
“You’re all prepared, then.” He smiled as she hugged him tight. I loved seeing him so relaxed, so happy.
“Tim and Alexander are making some lunch on the barbecue. There’s a lot of food,” Katya said.
“Oh, joy,” I muttered between my teeth. It had never crossed my mind that Alexander might be there, even though he was good friends with Tim.
Katya reached up, grabbing hold of my hand. “Show me that baby of yours.”
I grinned, turning back to Elliot and taking the capsule from his hand. Katya sat up, grinning at the sight of Anna, fast asleep and snuggled under her blanket.
“She is so beautiful,” Katya said.
Anna yawned, stretching and opening her eyes with that cross-eyed baby look as she tried to focus on me.
“Come and meet Auntie Katya,” I said, unclipping her harness and lifting her out of the seat.
I handed her over to the waiting Katya, who started to rock her, stroking Anna’s hands with her fingers.
“She’s so precious,” she whispered. “I can’t wait to have my own.”
“Poppa, can I go swimming?” Ruby asked Dad.
“Sure you can. If it’s okay with your dad and Rebecca.”
Elliot grinned. “Go for it. She’s getting more confident, but she just needs to stay in the shallow end. Don’t you, Ruby?”
Ruby nodded.
“I’ll just paddle my feet while she goes for a dip,” Dad said.
I watched as he made the short walk to the pool, sitting on the edge as Ruby stripped off her dress and showed him the big picture on her swimming costume. He beamed as they spoke, and I wondered if this was helping him make up for my disjointed childhood. He hadn’t been there as much as I’d wanted when I was little, but he was there for Ruby and would be there for Anna.
"Oh, crap," I said, turning my face toward Elliot, leaning against his shoulder.
"What?" he whispered, kissing my temple.
"Here comes my ex."
“She looks so much like you, Rebecca.” Alexander came up behind Katya, looking over her shoulder and nodding at Anna.
“I don’t know about that. She’s got her father’s eyes, and I think she looks quite a bit like her big sister,” I said.
“I think she looks like both of us.” Elliot’s arm landed on my shoulder, and I leaned in tighter against him.
“She’s got your eyes, Elliot,” Katya said.
“I’m just hoping she ends up with his dimples.” I gazed at Elliot, lovingly. This man was everything I’d ever wanted, even when I didn’t know it. I slid my arm around his waist as he kissed my temple.
“You might be lucky. She does have those little dimpled hands.” Katya gathered Anna’s hands in hers and brought them up to her lips to kiss them. “Oh, you are such a pretty girl.”
“Oh. Elliot, this is Alexander. Alexander, Elliot.”
Elliot extended his hand and Alexander took it. They studied one another for a moment as they shook hands. Elliot had blanked his expression, and I’d have given anything to know what he was thinking.
“Congratulations, Rebecca.” Alexander leaned over and kissed my cheek.
“Alex, Alex. Come here.” Clarissa’s shrill voice broke the peaceful moment, and I couldn’t stop my smirk.
“Excuse me.” Alexander smiled at both of us.
I nodded slowly as he left, squeezing Elliot's waist tight.
“That was your ex?”
I kept on nodding.
“I’m glad you don’t yell at me like that.”
I snickered, turning around to face Elliot, hugging him tight. “I don’t have any need to yell at you. You’re always where you’re supposed to be when you’re supposed to be.”
“I swear I’ll never give you any cause to throw icy Fanta at me,” he murmured.
He lowered his head, kissing me softly.
Nothing could darken this day.
Chapter Thirty-Five
We were back at the zoo, our little family. Ruby wanted to see the giraffes. She’d been reading a book all about them, and the opportunity to get her up close and personal, feeding one, was just too good to say no to.
Right on feeding time, I took her hand and the two of us went onto the platform with the keeper.
He bent, handing her a piece of celery. “Here. They like celery because it’s sweet. His tongue is going to come out and grab it like a hand, so don’t freak out, just let it go.”
She looked up at me, apprehension in her eyes.
“I’m right here. We’ll do it together if you want.”
Ruby was heavy, but I could still pick her up, and I did so,
much to Elliot’s irritation. “I’ll come and do it,” he called.
“We’re fine.” I kissed Ruby on the nose. “Here we go.”
The giant spotty head appeared from below and Ruby gasped. “There he is,” she whispered.
The keeper patted the giraffe’s head and gave it a stick of celery. Ruby tensed in my arms and I hugged her tighter. “It’s okay, Ruby. See how much he loves the celery?”
I took a step closer, and she frowned. “I’m scared.”
“I’m not surprised. His head is almost as big as you are. But I’m right here. Do you trust me?”
She nodded.
“Then let’s do it together.”
Her hand in mine, we offered up the celery. The long, brown tongue of the giraffe came out, wrapping around the stick, gently tugging at it as we released our grip.
Ruby stared, watching as the giraffe sucked in the succulent food.
“That was AWESOME.” She lost all fear as she yelled in my ear, and I laughed as she wriggled around.
I placed her down on the platform beside me. “Thank you,” I said to the keeper.
Ruby squeezed my hand as we walked back toward her father. He stood, the pram in front of him, with his phone in his hand, snapping photos of the two of us.
“Did you see the giraffe, Daddy?”
He grinned. “I did, honey. You were so brave. It looked so big.”
Her eyes widened. “Its tongue was HUGE.”
People around us watched her with smiles on their faces. Happiness shone from her in a way that warmed my heart. Every day that we got through without her getting upset or having a nightmare was a good day. And there were plenty of those now.
The night light I’d bought her had helped. The love we all shared helped more.
We continued our walk until we got around to the lion enclosure. Ruby skipped alongside me as Elliot pushed Anna. One day I’d bring her back when she was old enough to love the animals as much as Ruby did.
“These are your favourites, Daddy?” Ruby knew. She’d watched The Lion King so many times with her father. It was one of those things they’d bonded over.
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