He lifts me easily by the waist and lays me down on our mattress so that my legs are still dangling off the bed. Travis stands over me and I know he’s not going to give me any satisfaction. His rough hand rubs over my belly and up to my now hard nipples as he squeezes them both pinching to the point that it hurts, but I bite my lip suppressing any noises. His expression remains stern as his eyes are focused on me. Afraid of losing control and crying I turn my head looking away. He must not care because his hands move on, finding their way down my belly to the part of me that is burning already for attention. A tear slips away and rolls down my cheek knowing he won’t please me. His finger grazes over my folds and then back up. He slaps me catching me off guard making me jump as my clit burns from the impact and I yelp.
“You better bite that lip harder because one more noise from you and I will make it worse,” he growls through his tightened jaw. “You need to know that you’re mine and you will obey.”
I nod and his eyes move back down my body as he parts my folds and his finger circles my clit. I bite my lip harder to the point that I might make it bleed in order to avoid the moan that is lingering in my throat. After a few seconds his fingers glide easily down my wetness and moves in me. My hips move involuntarily at the sensation of his finger inside me and instantly he stops. I look up at him and know without him saying anything that he doesn’t want me to move. Only a moment passes and he’s back at my body, caressing every inch of me and it takes all I have to fight the burning need that is causing my crotch to ache and remain silent. I hate him and what he does to me!
It feels like the time is going excruciatingly slowly as he touches ever part of me and I hold in the orgasm that is screaming to break free. His full lips find my hardened nipples as he bites down hard and I do all I can to control myself, to not hit him and run away to hide in a dark corner. He bites each one and I swear he’s drawn blood. I can already taste blood in my mouth as I bite down on my bottom lip even harder.
“Don’t move,” he orders looking up at me, removing his lips from my now tender achy nipple.
I watch as he walks to his dresser shuffling the clothes around until he finds what he’s looking for and shuts the drawer walking back with a silver object in his hand. My body instantly burns with anticipation, but I know that tonight this is not going to be pleasurable.
“Move up on the bed,” he directs me and I lift myself up on my hands and slide back so that I’m no longer hanging off the edge. “I know how well your body responds to this, Steph. Tonight you better contain it otherwise it’s going to hurt more.” I shiver under his harsh breath as I feel his groin on my leg and he leans over me as his lips touch mine.
His mouth is soft and I want to run my fingers through his hair, but know better than to touch him right now. I feel his hand between my legs and the coldness of the silver on my private. He hasn’t lubricated it like he usually would and I clench in fear of the pain. The object moves down reaching my backside and he slowly rolls it around preparing it for entrance and I turn my head away from him hating that he would do this to me. The tears now fall down my cheeks and I don’t care if he sees my weakness. I will hate him if he shoves that thing into my ass like that. Haltering at my reaction he moves the silver object away. Placing it on the bed and I let out of breath of relief.
“Don’t think I’ve changed my mind, sweetheart. I’ll keep it here just in case you decide to cum. I will shove it up you dry.”
I feel his fingers back on my sex and he rubs a couple of times before thrusting two into me, moving at an amazing pace and the orgasm that was lingering before returns instantaneously. Right as I’m on the brink of exploding all over him he moves his fingers out of me. It takes everything in me to not thrust my hips in an effort to get friction for some relief. I shudder at the rejection and his sullen face finally reveals a grin, a grin of control. Without wasting any more time he unbuttons his clothes, not fully undressing, and pulls my hips to the edge of the bed immediately freeing himself. I feel his hardness pressed just on my opening and in one move he thrust inside of me and I automatically cover my mouth suppressing my moan.
“Don’t cum or I will punish you!” he spits with anger as he thrust in and out of me at a hard forceful pace and the tears fall down my cheeks.
I hate myself for allowing him to make me feel like this. He’s supposed to love me, care for me, make me feel good, not treat me this way; like a piece of shit under his shoes. As he thrust into me one last time I can’t help, but release a whimper and a low grunt escapes his mouth. He drops my hips as he moves away swiftly, not saying a word to me, leaving me hurting and craving more all at the same time. I wrap up in our comforter and watch as he enters the bathroom and I squeeze my eyes shut allowing the last bit of tears to flow down my cheeks and before I know it I’ve drifted off to sleep.
Chapter Six
The light from the morning sun shines through the curtains and I reach over to the other side of the bed and feel that it’s empty. Not sure if Travis even came to bed last night I rub my eyes adjusting to the light and crawl out of the blanket realizing I’m still naked as the memories of last night wash over me. I get up grabbing my bathrobe from the chair, wrapping it around myself and walk downstairs in search of Travis. I catch sight of him with a throw blanket sleeping on the living room couch and even though I hate how he treated me last night, it still pains me to know he doesn’t love me enough to cuddle with me on our anniversary. I let out a sigh not sure what to do anymore. I allow him all the control he needs and it still isn’t enough. It’s like he won’t be satisfied until he’s broken me down completely which he isn’t too damn far away from doing. I go to the kitchen to start the coffee pot before heading back upstairs for a shower. I feel like I spend more time pretending to be this happy wife who obeys her husband when in reality I’m dying inside.
While the hot water runs over my skin I think about how he used me last night. It’s hard to believe that he even loves me after that. I fear that things are getting worse with him. I can handle the yelling and the put downs, hell I’m used to it, but to use me the way he did? I don’t know if I can handle that emotionally. The tears fall down my cheeks knowing I have to face him, knowing he took advantage of me and I have to put on a smile and pretend like nothing happened.
I step out of the shower, towel drying my hair and brushing my teeth before putting on a pair of jeans and a white long sleeve shirt. I put a smile on my face before walking downstairs to greet Travis. I peek into the living room and see that he’s no longer on the couch so I walk around to the large open kitchen and he’s standing next to the coffee pot pouring a cup. Even after a night of hard drinking he still looks sexy. I take in the sight of his mangled brown hair and his shirtless chest. After last night he still has this effect on me and I hate it! It’s like no matter what, he is all I’ll ever be happy with. I cringe at the thought that this is my life and always will be. I was with a drunken asshole growing up and am still living with one. I never got away which only confirms that there is nothing better out there for me, so I better make the best of what I’ve got. I walk up to Travis placing a hand on his bare chest, smiling up at him with love in my eyes and as he looks back at me with a neutral expression he takes a sip of his coffee.
“Good morning babe,” I whisper stepping on my tiptoes to kiss his cheek.
“Good morning, Steph. I need to say something. I shouldn’t have gone as far as I did last night. I’m not apologizing, but I’m just saying I may have gone too far.”
There it is! Every time he fucks up he thinks a simple I’m sorry or a maybe I shouldn’t have done that is going to make everything better. It doesn’t fix anything, but I suck it up anyways and grab his coffee cup from his hands, grabbing the back of his head and pulling him down to me until our lips meet and I press my lips hard against his, licking him with my tongue until he opens, letting me in. He tastes of alcohol and the coffee he just took a sip of. It isn’t the best tasting kiss and even thoug
h I’m doing damn well faking it, my stomach still turns in disgust with him.
I pull away and I hear him catch his breath as his hands are on my hips. “Don’t worry about it. You were right. I deserved it.” And with these words we will move on. Forget what happened until the time arises and it occurs again, which will be sooner than later.
“I’m going into the office today. I’ve got a few things I need to catch up on. Will you be okay here at home for the day? I probably won’t be done until late.”
“I’ll be fine. I’ll have the chef prepare a nice dinner for us tonight. Okay?”
“Okay. I’m going get ready then,” he replies.
I only nod in response as he takes another drink of his coffee before leaving it on the counter and heading up stairs. I grab myself a cup and pour the hot caffeinated liquid into it and also adding a splash of delicious creamer. I take it with me to the downstairs office switching on the computer to log-in to my email. The one thing he doesn’t have access to and the only thing he doesn’t know I have. It’s my only form of communication with other people that he otherwise wouldn’t allow. I have one unread message from my friend Zoey and I open it knowing Travis is in the shower and will still be a bit.
Steph!
I’m going to the market today and was wondering if you want to meet up? I hate that I can’t reach you on a phone so I hope you get this message before the day is over. I’m going around noon so email me back and let me know! Haven’t seen you forever and miss you!
Zoey
I quickly email her back saying I’ll meet her there and then log out of my email, deleting the history and shutting down the computer. I grab my coffee and head for the family room. Grabbing a book from our enormous built-in bookshelf, I sit down on one of the dark fabric couches and sip my coffee as I open the novel to the first chapter. This is only for a front. I hate lying to him, but the last thing I need today is for him to yell at me or tell me I can’t go, so I sit here drinking my coffee, waiting patiently for him to leave the house. It doesn’t take long before I smell his cologne and feel his hand on my shoulder. I sit up turning around and he’s wearing one of his black suits with a beautiful red tie.
“I’m leaving now. I’ll see you tonight,” he says leaning in and kissing my forehead.
“Love you.”
He turns leaving out the front door and as I hear the door close I jump up peering out one of the front windows watching him enter his black car and drive away. I wait a few moments before darting upstairs to change. It’s already eleven thirty and I’m not sure that I’m going to have enough time to walk there. I throw on a white summer dress with white sandals and toss my hair up in a ponytail. I put on a little bit of makeup before grabbing my purse and heading out the door. Running around to the side of the mansion to the separate guest house where Thomas stays, I knock on the door hoping he’ll answer. I watch as the door knob turns and Thomas is standing here in shorts and a t-shirt. The sun is shining and today is his day off which explains his comfortable attire. He looks normal, cute even. His eyes are filled with concern as he looks me over.
“Is everything alright, Mrs. Barnes?”
“Yes, of course, Thomas! I was just wondering if you could possibly drive me to the market today. I know it’s your day off and I’ve never asked this of you, but I really need this.”
“Of course, Mrs. Barnes. I’m just surprised you haven’t asked me sooner. I would be glad to take you and I can pick you back up as well.”
“Great! Thank you so much!”
“Let me grab the keys.” He leaves the door still open as he walks back into the house and returns shortly with keys in his hand.
He walks me around to his garage and opens it. Opening the back door of the black sedan, I slide into the leather seats. I watch as he walks around to his side of the vehicle and gets in the car.
“Thomas?”
“Yes, Mrs. Barnes?”
“Can we please make sure this doesn’t get back to Travis?”
“Of course, Mrs. Barnes.”
***
As we pull into the busy streets I ask Thomas to pull the car over to the side. I’m not going to be able to spot Zoey from the vehicle. There are too many people and the sidewalks are overflowing with tents covering food or items for sale. I hop out of the car telling Thomas to meet me back in the same spot in one hour and begin my walk in search of Zoey. If I walk long enough I’m bound to run into her, I usually do whenever I meet her here. There’s a fountain over by the Starbucks which is our usually meeting place and it’s just now noon so I head that direction pushing past the crowded sidewalk clutching my purse to my side. The sun feels amazing against my bare shoulders. I love the spring time.
As I come up to the fountains I look around, peering through all the people moving around and can’t see her anywhere. I sigh not really sure if I should wait here or walk around a bit. Deciding, since I’m only here for an hour, I better walk around and just enjoy the market in case I don’t find her. As I push through the crowded sidewalks I come to a tent that has a table filled with what looks like a variety of candies. It’s not often I get to eat sweets so I take advantage of this moment. I step up to the white clothed table and peer at the caramel sweets that are in front of me. I look up to see a larger lady with blonde hair that’s tightly pulled back.
“Is this caramel?”
“Yes. It’s our specialty,” the woman replies smiling.
“Can I get two pieces?”
“Of course. That will be $2.50.”
I pull my money from my purse as the lady grabs the two small squares placing them in a napkin and handing them to me. As I turn around placing one of the small bites in my mouth the flavor explodes and I close my eyes savoring it. The caramel is smooth and melts on my tongue. I start walking and place the second piece in my mouth enjoying every bit of flavor. Stopping at a water fountain nearby I bend down taking a sip of the ice cold liquid.
“Stephanie Wilcox?”
I hear a deep voice call from behind me and I turn, wiping the water from my mouth as I look into a pair of brilliant green eyes and I blink a few times unsure if what I’m seeing is real; the man from my past standing right in front of me.
“Stephanie Wilcox?” the man asks again and I almost choke on my own spit as I’m barely able to respond, still in shock.
“Eric? Yeah! I mean it’s Stephanie Barnes now.” Right as it comes out of my mouth I want to take it back. Eric Sutherland’s standing right in front of me. Do I want him to know I’m married? What the hell is he doing here?
“Well, Mrs. Barnes. You look incredible! It’s been so long.” He looks down at me and then almost like old times wraps his arms around me pulling me in for a hug and I take in the smell of his cologne and the feel of my cheek against his hard chest. He’s taller and broader then when we were kids. Still in shock I have no idea what to say, I hug him back and smile. But too quickly the smile leaves me and I’m faced with real life. There is no point in getting all excited about seeing him.
“I honestly never thought I’d see you again, Steph. I can’t tell you enough how beautiful you look. We’ve got to catch up on the last ten years. What are you doing right now?”
“Um… I was… just walking the market.”
“I was going to go get a coffee. Would you like to join me?” As the words leave those beautiful lips that once tasted me so long ago, I nod instantaneously. I’m not sure what I’m doing right now because if Travis ever found out I was having coffee with a male he would literally flip, but this is a onetime thing. I never explained myself to him and it’s been eating away at me all these years. This is my chance to apologize.
He grabs my hand and I almost pull away from his all too familiar touch in fear, but then I relax. This is Eric; the one person who never hurt me. We walk down the sidewalk passing many people and I’m nervous that someone who knows me might see me holding this strangers hand, but I still don’t let go. I haven’t seen this man in ten
years and it’s odd how easily he grabs my hand as if no time ever passed. Every few steps I peer up at him, his blonde hair is longer than it used to be and his skin has a hint of caramel color to it, giving him that beach ready look. He looks down at me flashing me his sterling white grin and his eyes glisten in the sun light. He’s breath taking. Instead of going to the crowded Starbucks he’s walking the other direction until we reach the end of the packed street were the market ends and a line of offices and businesses begin. We cross the street and I still can’t help, but look at him every chance I get. It’s unbelievable that he’s here right now. Holding my hand of all things! A few buildings down, he opens the door to a quaint coffee shop and the smell of brewed coffee and homemade pastries fills my senses. Still holding my hand, almost like he doesn’t want to let go, he walks me up to the counter.
“How can I help you two today?” the young woman chimes ready to take our order.
“What would you like, Steph? I haven’t seen you for so long I have no idea how you like your coffee.”
“Black for me is fine.”
“I’ll take black too.”
The woman busies herself behind the counter grabbing two coffee cups and pouring in the dark liquid.
“That’ll be three dollars.”
Eric releases my hand, but the tingling feeling of his fingers wrapped with mine remains. How strange that he looks at me and touches me as if he’s known me all along. Eric pulls the money from his wallet and hands it to the woman before grabbing both cups of coffee and walking to an empty table in the corner of the shop. The shop is almost empty with only two other individuals in it; one man typing furiously on his laptop and a woman sipping her coffee, listening to something on her phone. The front of the shop has huge windows, letting in incredible light and the sun reaches our table warming my bare shoulders as we sit down. I feel that I might be smiling like a fool since I’m still in shock that I’m actually here with Eric.
Evil Of Love Page 5
