by J Johnson
I scream, jump, and slip on the rug. My ass hits the floor with a hard thump.
Fuck, that hurt!
I want to cry from the pain, but I’m too busy staring into dark gray eyes. He smirks a little, then covers it up with a fake cough.
“You scared the shit out of me, Zane. And this isn’t funny. That hurt.”
“I’m sure it did love, but I have to say… It was a little funny and that’s what you get for eavesdropping.”
“I wasn’t…”, my voice trails off with the look on his face. He caught me. “Fine. I’m sorry. I walked in and heard talking. Well, yelling really. It was hard not to hear.”
He helps me up off the hard floor only to pull me against his hard body. I definitely prefer his body to the floor.
“How much of that did you hear?”
“Enough to know that you have a temper.”, I tell him. “Should I be worried?”
“Not at all. I would never hurt you. I can’t stand them two. Dave especially. He’s an ass and thinks everyone should cater to him. He doesn’t like it when someone stands up to him.”
“They were pretty scared of you. The one was anyway. He said, and I quote, ‘He’ll rip your fucking heart out and eat it’, end quote. That’s quite a vivid image. The other one was a little strange. He said he could smell me. Well, I assume he meant me. He said he could smell someone else in the room and I was the only one in here. But he was nowhere near me.”
Zane’s eyes widen. Something quickly passes across his face, then it’s gone. He crosses his arms over his chest and frowns.
“I didn’t hear him say that.”
Oh shit. He didn’t say that, did he? Those were his thoughts.
“Uh… You were in the other room so you probably couldn’t hear it.”, I rush out, trying not to trip over my words.
He doesn’t look convinced. He takes a step forward. I take a step back.
“I won’t hurt you, Ashlyn. I’m not that kind of guy.”
“You’re dangerous, though. I can tell. I could tell the moment I met you, but for some reason, I chose to ignore it.”
“I’m not saying I haven’t done some shady shit in my life, but being afraid of me now is kind of silly, don’t you think?”
“I’m not afraid of you. I just don’t know… I don’t know how to react to you. You intimidate me in more ways than one.”
There, I said it. He frightens me to the core. I can’t really tell what kind of dangerous he is. Psycho crazy. Serial killer. Womanizer. What I know, without a doubt, is that he could shatter my heart into a million pieces if I let him.
“I intimidate many people, but you don’t have to be afraid of me, love. I won’t hurt you. Ever.”
He takes another step forward and I force myself to stay still. A few more steps and our bodies are almost touching. My heartbeat speeds up, pounding in my chest. I’m lost in him. I’m afraid I’ll get lost in him and never return. He bends down and lightly kisses me on the mouth. I instantly melt into him, begging him for more. Forgetting about any doubts that were creeping in.
“Come on. I want to take you out tonight.”, he says, as he takes a step back.
“I need to change. Where are we going?”
“It’s a surprise.”
I hate surprises. I never understood why someone wants be surprised. I’d rather know what I’m doing and when I’m doing it. It makes life a lot easier and less risky. I start to object, but the look in his eyes stops me. He looks excited. Damnit.
“Okay. Just let me shower and change before we go.”
“Twenty minutes. That’s all you’re getting.”, he smirks. “Then I’m coming in after you.”
Maybe I’ll stay in for more than twenty minutes.
Twenty-five minutes later, I step into his office ready to go. I half expected him to come to the bathroom after twenty, but he didn’t. I was both relieved and disappointed. He changed while I was getting ready, and I can’t stop myself from ogling him. He chuckles, making me blush.
“Like what you see?”, he asks, raising a brow.
Instead of shying away from him like I normally do with everyone else, I stand straighter and look him in the eye.
“Arrogant much?”
“Always love. I know the effect I have on women.”
“Wow. You really are full of yourself.”, I tell him, then head for the door. “Are we leaving?”
Suddenly he’s in front of me, blocking the exit with his massive body. If he touches me, I might straddle him right here. He grabs my face, intent on kissing me again, but I flinch away out of habit. I really need to stop doing that, especially with him. It’s apparent that he’s not going to cause a vision.
“Why do you do that?”, he asks.
“Do what?”
“You flinch when I touch you. Has someone hurt you before?”
His eyes darken and the look he has would scare a dragon. I take a step back, away from him.
“Your eyes. They’re… different.”, I stutter.
“Has someone hurt you?”, he growls.
“No. No one has ever hurt me. Not like that.”
I watch in as his eyes return to their normal gorgeous gray color and his shoulders relax.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you. I couldn’t stand the thought of someone hurting you. I thought maybe you had an abusive boyfriend or something.”
“No.”
“Then why do you jerk away?”
Yeah, Ash. Why do you jerk away?
My mind runs through a million answers. None of them seem to be good enough.
Quickly Ash. He’s staring.
“Um… I’m not used to being touched. That’s all. I normally don’t touch anyone.”
“Ever? Why?”
“Germs. Yeah. I’m a germophobe.”
“I’m not buying that, but I won’t push for now.”, he replies then opens the door. “After you love.”
Seven
∞∞∞
For the past two weeks, I’ve spent almost every night at Zane’s place. To say I am hooked would be the understatement of the century. I know in my heart that if I don’t stop seeing him so much, he’s going to ruin me. I’m afraid that I feel this way because he was my first, but I squash the thought down every time because I felt something before we had sex. I’m drawn to him like a magnet and I’m scared to death he’s going to crush my heart.
I also knew that he was dangerous. The more time I spend with him, the more dangerous he becomes. And odd. He does some odd things that I’ve noticed over the last few days. His sleeping habits are… not normal. I’ve only seen him sleep maybe an hour a day over the last seven days. When I asked him about it, he said he’s always been that way and has never needed as much sleep like everyone else.
Another thing I noticed is he never leaves his office. He took me out once last week, and that’s the only time I’ve seen him leave. The entire time we were out, he acted like he was on alert. Constantly glancing around us. Watching the tree line as we lay on a blanket under the stars. He wasn’t exactly there with me like I wanted him to be, and going out was his idea.
The strangest thing though is the tattoo on his back. I swear it moves in rhythm with me. It’s an enormous dragon, covering his entire back, and it moves when I move. I know it’s probably like one of those paintings with eyes that appear to watch you, but it’s wicked. I finally got up enough nerve yesterday to trace the lines of the dragon and if I didn’t know any better, I’d say the damn thing smiled. I haven’t touched it since.
This morning when I woke up, he brought me breakfast in bed. It was the sweetest thing seeing this big, dangerous-looking man do such a minuscule thing. We talked and laughed while he fed me, because he refused to let me do it on my own, then had amazing sex. Again. The man definitely has stamina.
When I finally left for work, it was only after I promised him I’d be back later. I think he’s as hooked as I am, but I keep my mind from hoping such things for my protection
. I know without a doubt I could fall in love with Zane in an instant if I allow it. I just can’t do that. Not yet.
For one, I need to figure out why he doesn’t cause visions and why I can’t hear his thoughts. At first, it was a sweet relief, but the more I think about it, the more it drives me crazy. There has to be a reason, and I need to find out what it is. Zoe keeps trying to convince me to leave it alone and enjoy it, but I can’t. I need answers. I’ve thought about snooping around in his place, but it’s kind of hard to do when he never sets foot outside.
“I need to talk to you.”, Jordan says angrily. I just finished reading a book to one of our regular kids when he catches me in the hallway. “Now.”
Wonder what bug crawled up his butt.
I follow him to his office, having to jog to keep up, and he slams the door behind us.
“What’s wrong?”, I ask.
Sometimes my mind amazes even me. I have a million different scenarios running through my head as to why he’s in such a pissy mood.
“Stop seeing Zane.”
I frown at him and a flare of anger rises. “Why? What did he do now? Or what did you hear he did?”
“He’s bad news, Ash. I heard he was out last night beating people up on the street. I told you he was trouble.”
“Why in the world would Zane be out beating people up?” He’s not making any sense. “And who told you this?”
“Does it matter!?”, he yells.
I have to bite my tongue to keep from saying something that will anger him more. I’ve noticed that being around Zane is making me less frightened about everything. Before I would have tried to leave when the yelling started. Now I’m biting my tongue to keep from lashing out.
“Look, Jordan. I get that you don’t like him, for some unknown reason, but this is insane. Why would anyone go out at night just to beat people up? It doesn’t make any sense.”
He runs his hand through his already disheveled hair and sighs. “Trust me on this Ash. Please. You’re going to wind up hurt. Or worse.”
“He would never hurt me.”, I snap at him. “And I’m sick of this conversation. Unless you have something that can prove to me he’s bad news as you keep putting it, then I don’t want to hear it anymore. Just because someone says he did something doesn’t mean he did.”
“What the hell more do you want? I know he’s bad news and you won’t believe me.”
“How do you know? Tell me.”
“It’s hard to explain.”
“That’s not enough. Either tell me or this conversation is over.”
He looks like he wants to say something but doesn’t. His expression is one of pain, anger, and worry. I honestly think he believes Zane is a bad guy, but what am I supposed to do? Take his word for it? No. I refuse to do that. I wouldn’t do it if someone told me Jordan was a bad guy unless they could prove it. This is madness.
“I’m sorry that you don’t like him and I’m sorry that I hurt you. That wasn’t my intention. Truly. But this has to stop. I like him Jordan. I really like him. For the first time in a long time, I think I might actually have something here and I would appreciate a little support from my friend.”
“I can’t support you in this. I won’t.”
“I’m sorry you feel that way.”, I reply before walking out the door and running into a wall of steel. “Oh, sorry…” I look up and meet stormy gray eyes.
Oh shit.
“You’re upset.”, Zane tilts his head to the side. “Why? What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. Let’s go.”
I push him towards the exit, trying to get him out of the hospital before Jordan comes out of his office. It’s like trying to push a freight train. When Jordan steps up behind me, I feel the tension thicken like a bowl of gravy. To make matters worse, Zoe is standing at the nurses' station eyeballing the three of us along with two other nurses. Great. An audience.
“Why are you upset, love?”, Zane asks again while glaring at Jordan.
“I’m not. I’m fine. Let’s just go.”
“You need to leave her alone.”, Jordan says.
My eyes widen in complete horror, embarrassment, and anger. What the hell is his problem? I turn around and for the first time in my life, I lose it.
“How dare you? You have no right to tell anyone what they should or shouldn’t do when it concerns me. And you have no right telling me who I can or cannot see or date. You are my friend and my boss, nothing more.”
“I’m not going to just let this go, Ash.”
“You will and you will do so right now. What I do in my personal life is none of your business. I thought you were my friend. What the fuck is wrong with you?”
“He’s jealous.”, Zane states calmly. It’s eerie how calm he is to the point it sends shivers up my spine and not in a good way. “He wants you for himself.”
“Zane.”, I warn.
“Nothing is wrong with me, Ash. Something is wrong with him and if you’d open your damn eyes for two seconds, you could see it.” Jordan’s voice is louder. Angrier.
I haven’t turned around yet, but I’m betting half the hospital is watching us by now.
“Enough! You will never again mention him or anything else in my personal life to me. Do you understand? This is ridiculous.”
“Ashlyn. We should go.”, Zane says.
“Yes. Yes, you should.”, Jordan looks at Zane, then back at me. “If you leave this hospital with him, you will no longer have a job here.”
What!? What the hell!?
“Jordan. You can’t mean that.”, Zoe has somehow made her way over to us without me seeing her. “That’s a bit much don’t you think.” She’s even wide-eyed and shocked at his behavior.
“No, it’s not. I’m not kidding, Ash. If you leave with him, you no longer work here.”
“Wow.”, I reply.
I’m at a loss for words. I stare at him for a minute thinking he’s totally lost his mind and surely, he can’t be serious. By the look in his eyes though, it doesn’t take me long to figure out he is dead serious. Without saying another word, I turn and walk out with Zane right beside me.
Tears spring to my eyes as soon as I’m out of the parking lot. Zane tried to get me to ride with him, but I can’t leave my car here. I guess I could have, but I didn’t want to risk seeing Jordan when I picked it up tomorrow. I’m not sure if I ever want to see him again after tonight. My phone keeps dinging letting me know I have messages, but I don’t touch the damn thing. I’m sure it’s Zoe asking if I’m alright. I’ll text her when I get home.
The yelling match with Jordan replays over and over in my head as I try to dissect it to see what went wrong. I’m a rational person. I always have been. Any time I’ve ever argued or made someone upset, I do this. I go through it piece by piece to see what I did wrong. This time, though, there’s nothing. I honestly did nothing except date Zane, and I don’t see how that warrants what Jordan did to me back there. He treated me like I was a criminal and not his friend.
The tears keep coming and no matter what I do, I can’t get them to stop, which only angers me more. How dare he treat me like this? He claimed to love me only weeks ago, and now he’s treating me like I’m shit on his shoe. Surely, he’s not doing this all out of jealousy, which makes me wonder if the things he said about Zane have merit. Maybe I need to do a little research myself. I don’t believe for one minute that Zane is out beating on people, but something has Jordan all riled up.
I’m expecting to pull into my apartment complex, but when I look up, I’m sitting in Zane’s parking lot behind the shop. My intention was to go home. Why the hell am I here? I need to be alone. I need to cry and bang on a wall or two. Something. Before I can pull back out and leave though, Zane’s opening my car door.
“Come on, love.”, he squats down in front of me. “I could kill him for making you cry.”
He brushes a tear off my cheek and the dam breaks. Sobs start wrenching out of me in waves, and I’m powerless to stop it. He
picks me up and carries me to his bed where he lays me down.
“Shh.”, he mumbles. “I’ve got you. I’m so sorry, love. What can I do?”
“Just hold me.”, I sob into his chest.
He doesn’t hesitate. He lays down beside me and holds me until I fall asleep.
My head is killing me, and I feel like shit. The memories of last night come back and I realize why my head is pounding so hard. Jordan. My phone dings on the nightstand beside me, so I pick it up. Zoe. Shit, I forgot to text her last night. I open the messages to find fourteen missed. Damn. She’s probably pissed or worried. Or both. I tap away at the keys, letting her know I’m fine and at Zane’s. She immediately texts back, telling me to call her as soon as possible. I have a feeling this day is going to be a doozy. Maybe I should just go back to bed.
I must have dozed back off because I wake up to the sound of my name being whispered in my ear.
“Ashlyn. It’s ten o’clock. Do you need to go to work today?”, Zane asks gently.
The sound of his voice calms me.
“No. I’ll call them in a minute. I just want to stay home today.”
Home? Is this home to me now? My home is my apartment. This is Zane’s home.
“Okay, love. When you’re ready, I’ll be in the office. I cooked a little breakfast for you if you’re hungry.”
He kisses me softly on the forehead and leaves the room. How can a man so caring and gentle and sweet be such a bad guy? I don’t understand it. I don’t understand Jordan’s behavior at all. I’ve never known him to act the way he did, which worries me. Maybe there is some truth to what he says. The only way I’m going to find out is to snoop or ask Zane and hope he tells me the truth. The thought of getting caught snooping through his things doesn’t sit well, so my only other option is to ask. I’m definitely going to need some of that bravery that I’ve had lately. Lots of it.
After a hot shower, I feel much better. I take a deep breath and open the door to the office. He’s sitting at his desk again, sexy as ever, concentrating on something laying in front of him. His eyes meet mine and he smiles.
“Hey, love. Feeling better?”
