by J Johnson
“So you see their deaths. That can’t be fun.”
“Not at all. Thankfully though, I have seen none of my friend’s deaths yet.”
“Uh, huh. There’s something that’s bothering me, though. You haven’t done that with me, and I know we’ve touched each other a lot.”, he states.
“Yeah. About that. I don’t know why, but I can’t see your future.”
His brows raise again, and his eyes widen. Finally. A reaction I can understand.
“Really?”
“Yes. I wasn’t sure at first. The night you saved me; I didn’t notice at the time because I was too out of it, but afterwards all I could think about was why you hadn’t caused a vision. I won’t lie. When I found you, it was to thank you, but I also had to see if it was true. I thought maybe I was just too out of it or something. But then when you didn’t trigger a vision again, I was intrigued.”
“So, you’re dating me because I’m the only man you can touch without having a vision?”, he asks.
“No. No. At first maybe a little, but now… No.”, I straddle his lap. “It’s not about that now. I wouldn’t care if you triggered them. I would still want to be with you.”
“Good, my little clairvoyant. Is there anything else I need to know about you?”, he teases.
“Clairvoyant? What’s that?”
“You should do a little more research about what you can do love. Clairvoyant is a person who can see future events.”
“There is one more thing.”
“Spit it out.”, he smiles. “You’re just full of surprises today.”
“I can hear people’s thoughts.”
“I’m so sorry, love. I’m sure the thoughts you’ve heard from me are anything but nice. And clean.”
“Uh… I can’t hear your thoughts.”
“Yet another reason you chose me to be with.”, he chuckles.
I blush under his gaze and don’t know what to say. The way he’s acting makes me want him more than I ever have before. The realization of what I do feel hits me like a freight train. I’m in love with him. I love this man so much it scares the shit out of me. Which brings me back to what he said before.
“So, about the other night. When you said…”
“I love you.”, he finishes. “What about it?”
“Did you mean it?”
“Of course, I meant it. I wouldn’t say it if I hadn’t.” He holds my face between his hands and stares into my eyes. Once again, they look like they’re glowing. “I love you Ashlyn Miller.”
Even though I know I should say it back, something stops me. Not sure what to do, I bend down and kiss him, hoping to distract him from questions regarding why I don’t say it back.
He picks me up, still kissing me, and carries me towards the bedroom. My heartbeat speeds up in anticipation of what’s coming. My body responds to him in ways I’ll never fully understand. It’s like being shocked with a thousand volts of electricity, but it doesn’t hurt. There’s no pain, only ecstasy. He has me undressed and on the bed in seconds.
“So beautiful.”, he murmurs against the inside of my thigh. “Always ready for me no matter what’s going on.”
He makes his way up, leaving a trail of soft kisses until he’s hovering above my most sensitive part. My legs fall open on their own, willing him to move the last inch and touch me. As if he can hear my every thought he moves forward and gently kisses my clit. My body jerks, but I quickly relax and let him do whatever he wants. When his tongue darts out and licks me, I moan. God, he feels so good. No matter what he does to me, it feels like heaven.
“Don’t think I didn’t notice you didn’t say those words back to me love. For that, I’m going to make you wish you had.”
Suddenly, he latches on to my clit and sucks. Hard. Normally he’s gentle, taking care of me in the most slow and seductive way. This time he’s more aggressive, but I can’t say that I’m any less turned on than usual. I instinctively try to pull away from him, but he holds my legs in place, not allowing me to move. It takes what feels like only seconds for me to explode into a billion pieces. When I come back down from the sudden high, I expect him to stop or at least slow down. He does neither.
“Zane.”, I moan. “I can’t. You have stop for a minute.”
He continues to suck on my clit, not giving me an ounce of reprieve. With every pull of his mouth, the more sensitive I become down there. It both excites and freaks me out.
“Zane.”, I moan again. “Please.”
He grips my legs tighter, letting me know he’s not letting go. Not yet. I don’t think there’s any way I’m going to have another orgasm soon. Just about the time I’m ready to beg him to quit, it hits me again. This time a thousand times more intense than the last. I arch up off the bed screaming. He’s made me orgasm more than once before, but not this close together. He finally let’s go when I slump back on the bed, but he’s not done. He licks me again, making me jump.
“How many times do you think I can do that to you?”
“I can’t.”, I half beg, half moan. “I don’t think I can do it again. Please don’t.”
“I’m pretty sure you can love.”, he chuckles. “Let’s see, shall we?”
Before I have time to object, he latches on again sending me into yet another mind-blowing orgasm. This time I’m certain I see stars. My body no longer fights him or the orgasms. Repeatedly he makes me cum and each time I believe I won’t be able to. Five orgasms later, he finally stops and crawls up my body to meet my eyes that I can hardly keep open.
“Oh no, you don’t love. Not yet. You’ve got one more in you.”
“Zane. Please.”, I beg. “What are you doing to me?”
He kisses me, shutting me up, our tongues dancing in a perfect rhythm. The mixture of his smell and taste along with mine sends waves of pleasure straight down to the spot he just left. I moan into his mouth and he grins.
Without warning, he pushes into me. My eyes fly open and I gasp. It feels so good. The pressure keeps building and building until I feel like I might die if I don’t climax again soon. I’m not sure if my body is waiting on his or not, but the moment I feel him swell inside me, my body responds. We both moan in unison as we ride out our orgasms together. He finally collapses beside me on the bed and pulls me against him.
My eyelids close immediately from exhaustion. Even though he said it was my punishment for not saying those three small words, and even though he didn’t stop when I asked him to, I’ve never felt more loved than in that moment. No one has ever paid as much attention to me as he does. When I hear his soft snoring behind me, I can’t help but smile.
“I love you too Zane.”, I whisper. “So much it scares me.”
Ten
∞∞∞
“Zoe. Calm down.”, I tell her through the phone. She called a few minutes ago in complete freak out mode, rambling on about Jackson. Who the hell is Jackson?
“He’s going to be the death of me. I swear he is. He comes and goes as he pleases, and I can’t seem to tell him no. Why can’t I tell him no? I don’t understand it. I should just tell the jerkoff to leave me alone and never call me again.”
“What happened? And who the hell is Jackson?”
“I guess we haven’t talked much lately, have we.”, she says. A pang of guilt rises because I’ve been spending so much time with Zane. If I talked to her more, I’d know what was going on.
“I’m sorry, Zoe.”
“I understand. Trust me. It’s my fault too. I’ve been so caught up in Jackson that I haven’t really thought about anything or anyone else.”
“So, we never let it happen again. From this point forward, we talk at least once a day. Now spill. Who is Jackson?”
“He’s Jordan’s brother.”
“What!?”
“Yeah. We sort of met at the hospital when he came in to visit Jordan. He’s so freaking hot, Ash. I nearly died when I saw him.”
I bet that’s who was in my vision with her and the tw
in girls.
“Go on. So what’s been going on? Have you been dating?”
She scoffs into the phone. “If that’s what you want to call it. It’s more like a few dates then we had sex and ever since he only calls when he wants a recap. I’m a booty call Ash. A fucking booty call.” I laugh at the way she says it. Almost like it leaves a disgusting taste in her mouth. “It’s not funny.”
“You’re right. I’m sorry. So just tell him no. Or tell him you want more than just sex. Talk to him.”
“I’ve tried. He won’t listen. Every time I bring it up, he says the same thing. He’s not looking for anything permanent. Then I’ll tell him to go and never come back, but then he does his sexy face and flaunts his sexy body and I give in. I always give in.”
By this time, I’m covering my mouth trying not to bust out laughing. She sounds like a toddler having a tantrum. I clear my throat and force myself to be an adult. My friend needs me, even though she sounds like a three-year-old.
“You have to not give in. Stand your ground and tell him. You either give me more or I’m done, and that’s it.”
“Is that what you would do if the roles were reversed and Zane was the guy in question?”
I’m silent as I think about that, and it doesn’t take me long to realize that I’d give in too. Always.
“That’s what I thought.”, she says. I can hear the smirk on her face. “You wouldn’t give that piece of ass up for anything.”
“Well…”, I start. “Okay. You got me there. So, what are you going to do?”
“I don’t know. I want to be with him. We’ve only known each other for a few weeks, and I know as sure as I’m standing here breathing that I could fall in love with him in a matter of minutes. If I haven’t already.”
“I’m sorry I’m not much help.”
“It’s okay. I feel better just talking about it. Finally.”
“Zane is going out of town this week on business for a few days. You want to do something?”
“Oh. My. God.”, she gasps. “Are you actually asking me to go out and do something with you? You never do anything.”
“I mean a movie at your place or out to eat or both. I’m not talking about going to a club.”, I laugh. “I think I’ll pass on clubs for a while.”
“Oh, come on. It’ll be fun.”
“That’s what you said last time.”
“Yeah, well. Last time you went outside by yourself, which is rule number one when going out. Don’t go anywhere by yourself. Stay in pairs. Look, we’ll go to the club right there by Zane’s. We won’t stay out too late and I promise I won’t take my eyes off you.”
“Fine.”, I relent. “But I get to pick out my clothes this time.”
“I’ll be back in a few days, love. You can stay here if you like. There’s a key under the pot out back. Come and go as you please. I’ll tell the guys up front that you may stay here.”
“A few days sounds like forever.”, I pout. I’ve gotten good at pouting around him. Mainly because it gets me what I want. He’s spoiling me.
“I know, but I’ll be back before you know it.”, he leans down and gives me a kiss. “Behave while I’m gone and try not to get attacked in a parking lot.”
“Funny.”
“I’m not kidding.”
After a few more rounds of kisses and almost unclothing, he finally rushes out, leaving me feeling empty. I miss him already. How pathetic is that? It hasn’t been five minutes and already I want to run after him and beg him not to go. I look around the office and wonder what the hell I’m going to do now. I could go to my apartment, but that doesn’t sound good to me at all. I’d rather stay here where the smell of him is everywhere I turn.
I keep glancing at his desk until I finally decide to snoop a little. Surely, he wouldn’t have left me here if he had something to hide. I go through each drawer slowly, making sure not to disturb things too badly, but find nothing out of the ordinary. When I get to the last drawer, it’s locked. I try to pull it open, but it doesn’t budge. I suddenly need to get inside this drawer. I don’t know why, but I have to see what’s in here.
I go in search of a knife or something to help me break in, so the kitchen is my first stop. I put some coffee on to make and peak in the icebox to see what he has to eat. I’ve only been in here once before, briefly, and not long enough to look in anything. He always cooks and gets my drinks, so there was never a need to come in here. The ice box contains a few tomato juices, milk, butter, and a few beers. Just like a man to not have food in the house.
I close the door and grab a butter knife out of the drawer once I find it and head back to the desk. After several attempts, I finally get it open, but there’s a problem. He’s going to know I broke into it. The lock broke when I finally get it yanked open.
Shit. Might as well look now.
The first thing I notice is a cooler. Why the hell is a cooler in the drawer? I open it and find bags of blood, all labeled B+. At first, I don’t know what to think, but then I see a first aid kit beside it. I open it and find everything you would need to help someone with any kind of injury.
There are band aids, gauze pads, sutures, alcohol, other basic supplies, and a scalpel. There’s even a tube to give someone a blood transfusion, which must be what the blood is for. Makes sense. What doesn’t make sense is why he has it. He’s not a doctor. I think about his nighttime activities and figure it’s for in case he gets hurt. I guess going to the hospital would be bad. It isn’t like he can explain why he was beating someone up and how he got hurt. He doesn’t seem like the hospital type, anyway.
I put it all back and pick up the folders standing neatly beside the cooler. I’m not expecting to find anything of importance, but the minute I open the first folder, I’m instantly pissed. The file is on Zoe. It has everything in it from her birthplace to her current job. Her address, phone number, social security number, driver’s license number are all included along with other personal information that’s none of his business. Why does he have this?
When I open the next file, I get angrier. This one is on me. All of my information rolled up in a folder for him. Even my childhood is in here. My brother having cancer and dying. All of it. My parent’s info is also included down to my mom’s suicide. I throw the folders down on the desk and open the next one. It’s not anyone I know, but it’s the same kind of file.
Her name is Kelly Anders. She’s from Vastow County, she’s twenty-two years old and her file goes back to her childhood just as mine does. I’m not sure who this girl is, but it makes me wonder if it’s a lover of his he’s looked into.
I lay all three folders down on the desk, artfully arranged, and pull out his notepad.
Zane,
I found these while you were away. I’m not sure what it is you were looking for or why and don’t care. I’ve tried to rationalize this in my head, but nothing I can come up with justifies this invasion of privacy.
I’ve always felt there was something about you that didn’t feel right, and now I know. First the activities you do at night and now this. I can’t handle all the secrets. I’m done.
After grabbing everything that belongs to me, I rush out the door, hell bent on getting away from here as quickly as possible. I don’t know what is going on with him, but something tells me it’s not good. I’ve ignored all the warning signs and my intuition, something I never do, and now I’m wondering what the hell for. I don’t think he would ever hurt me, but after seeing those files, I just don’t know.
I haul ass out of there, freaking out until I’ve finally put some distance between me and that building. I’m not sure how I get to my apartment, but when I open the door, the place feels foreign to me. I can’t even remember the last time I slept here. And to think, I was considering giving up this place to stay with him full time.
I throw my stuff on one end of the couch and sink down into the other end. He probably won’t get my note until he gets back, so it’ll be a few days before I hear from
him. Good thing is, he doesn’t know where I live. Or does he? It was in the file, so yes; he does. Great. If I know Zane, he’ll blow my phone up until I agree to talk to him. I’ll just have to ignore him until he goes away.
The phone rings, scaring the shit out of me and making me jump off the couch. When I glance at the caller ID I groan. Why is he calling me already? He just left. I lay the phone back down like it might chew my arm off or something if I keep holding it. After the fourth ring, it goes to voicemail. A few minutes later, it alerts me, letting me know I have a message. I pick the phone up and call it just out of morbid curiosity; I guess.
“Ashlyn, please pick up. I need you to call me back. It’s not what you think. Just let me explain. Please call me.”
I delete the message. No, I am not calling him back. And how the hell does he know I know anything? He must have gone back for something. It doesn’t matter because I don’t want to know. I don’t want to know why he has files on me and my friend and some other woman. I don’t care. He shouldn’t have them to begin with. Who does that?
I never in a million years would have thought to look him up and go as far back as his childhood. It’s nerve-racking just thinking about it. Why would he need to know all that stuff? I take a deep breath to calm myself and decide to do a little cleaning. It’ll keep me busy and maybe keep my mind off of him and everything about him.
It only takes 45 minutes to clean my entire apartment, and that was scrubbing it down. I think about calling Zoe, but I know her too well. She’ll start asking all these questions about Zane, and I don’t want to talk about him right now.
I check my email to see if I have any new cases. That’s a bust. I’m great at keeping my paperwork up to speed so I’m back to square one. I need something to do.
My phone rings again and I hit the ignore button. He calls right back. I let it ring and start pacing the floors, wondering if he’ll show up here. I hope not. The thought of him showing up here scares me. What’s even more fucked up is that it excites me too. I want to trust him. My heart tells me I can, but there’s still that thought in the back of my mind that something isn’t right about him. This time I’m listening to it.
