by Willan Ellis
The Carrier – Episode Three
By Willan Ellis
Copyright 2013 Willan Ellis
Cover Image: Original art by Kate Sallai
Also Available from Willan Ellis:
The Carrier - Episode One
The Carrier - Episode Two
Luia – Dusk
Teanne was starting to lose count of how many days had passed, and the strain of living the lie as Kera was frustrating her. Each time she saw her reflection - she flinched. Her memories had settled; she could clearly recall her old life now, and she longed for Jacob. She wondered if Chev was safe, she even missed the grunting of Sister Nai.
Turning to face Lin, she attempted a smile. The woman was fixing the final gold threads around Teanne’s waist, the final lie was complete; she was now truly a norm. Lin stopped sewing and looked up.
‘Now, you finally look like the daughter of the Sovereign.’
Teanne turned towards the mirror, and slowly ran her hands down the velvet dress, the uniform of Elite. Teanne turned side-to-side, and admired the way the gold thread seemed to hold the dress on, weaving across her back like a spider web, and the front seemed to cling of its own accord just above her breasts. She smiled to herself —that was something she was still getting used to. Kera was very womanly. She looked at the scarlet hair; it had been drawn back, lightly braided and hung just above the nape of her neck. There was no evidence of her true self anywhere, as she admired the reflection looking back at her. She smiled to herself as she thought of Alliva.
Teanne looked past at Lin’s grinning reflection, ‘what are you smiling at?’
Lin simply lifted her hands and replied cheekily, ‘Nothing, it just looks as though you rather like what you see.’
Teanne moved away from the mirror as her face reddened.
‘We had better get going or we will be late.’
Lin nodded and headed for the door. ‘You ready for the excitement?’
Teanne replied. ‘No.’
Teannes resolve was also being tested as each day passed. She had decided to accept her current situation, telling herself that this was all happening for a reason, but she was struggling with the knowledge that she was not where she belonged. As Kera, Teanne was privy to more knowledge than she could have imagined. There was so much to learn, and she had to admit it was daunting and a little intimidating having access to the teachings she shouldn’t. She thought about how she should have been a Sister in her own right – in her time – but it never happened, and only now wondered why? She was of age – her best friend is the highest ranking Sister of their order, and her betrothed is the Commander of Luia.
Teanne followed a daily schedule, attending training like the good daughter was required to, and prayed as was required by a Sister of the Flame, and through it all Lin was by her side. She had learnt the extent of Kera and Lin's friendship – they had known each other since they were children, but their relationship was often volatile, and extremely competitive. Lin often teased that the bump to her head had made her – Kera – more bearable. She enjoyed their time together, Lin was fast becoming a friend to Teanne in her own right - they spent almost every hour together gossiping like Tyros, debating what they had learnt in their studies. It was a welcome distraction, and it made everything Teanne was going through somehow normal.
And then there was Alexander.
Those piercing blue eyes followed her everywhere, she knew that he and Kera were more than friends, but she still couldn’t shake the familiarity in his eyes, they seemed to look right through her, like he was looking at her, Teanne, not the shell that she now encompassed.
Lin had stopped many of his advances telling him that Kera was still not quite herself and that by the order of the Mother Sovereign she was allowed only to attend classes then return to her chamber. The lie seemed to keep him at a distance, but she could always feel his stare, almost tracking her like prey as she moved around the temple and surrounds.
The noise from the gathering awoke Teanne from her thoughts; she hadn’t realised she and Lin had walked through the Mother Temple and were now standing at the opening to the festival hall.
Tonight was a celebration; the contingent from Aelia were leaving the next day. The extent of their visit was not openly discussed, everyone knew it was to sign a treaty – the exact nature of this treaty was not known. But there were many other theories being discussed—trade issues, to pray in the temples, to seek a husband for their daughter. Teanne didn’t like them being there, she always felt uneasy whenever she saw them, and was constantly reminded of where Jacob was.
Lin and Teanne entered the room, and moved slowly towards the Mother Sovereign’s table. The chatter in the hall was jovial as Sisters laughed amongst themselves, and looked at everyone in their finery. Teanne had heard of these banquets when she was young, but the occasion left her speechless. The tables were piled high with a range of vegetables and fruit. Some of the initiates were busying themselves with serving drinks and treats. Teanne mused that she should be with the initiates serving the Elite, not walking through and having people bow at her approach. She had stopped returning the bows now. She was, after all, the Mother Sovereign’s daughter.
As they approached the Mother Sovereign, Teanne glanced at the woman talking to her in hushed tones, the conversation stopped when she approached. The woman screamed majesty; her greying hair did not disguise the youthfulness of her features. Teanne found herself glaring at her beauty, and her eyes were captivating. They were the clearest she had seen, they were almost like looking into a pond filled with diamonds. The woman smiled and bowed her head, and this time, respectfully, Teanne bowed. She felt herself overcome with awe.
‘This is my daughter Kera, you’re Majesty.’
The woman smiled. Her eyes looked like she was searching out Teanne’s soul.
‘My honour, Kera.’ Her voice was like silk. Teanne felt her cheeks redden. ‘And this is my daughter, Sarah.’
Teanne turned to look at the Queens daughter - who was even more beautiful than she. Sarah resembled her mother, but her hair was black as night, contrasting against her pale white skin. She also shared the same intense eyes. Sarah bowed her head. Teanne lowered hers, and noticed the bump around the girl’s abdomen. She couldn’t be much older than Teanne, and yet she was pregnant. Sarah noticed Teanne’s look and gently rubbed her stomach.
‘I have been blessed’
Teanne blushed. ‘I’m sorry. I did not mean to stare.’
‘It was a surprise to me, too.’ The girl giggled.
The Queen of Aelia interrupted. ‘So shall we begin?’
The Mother Sovereign bowed and turned to the gathered crowd, clapping her hands. The noise slowly dissipated. ‘Do sit, everyone, we are here to farewell our friends from across the great ranges. It has been a successful meeting, so let us all relax and enjoy our meal.’ The crowd cheered.
Teanne sat between Sarah and Lin, and ignored the constant elbows from Lin who was trying to catch her attention. A heavy kick under the table finally got her attention, and she whispered, ‘What?’
Lin eyed Sarah’s belly, Teanne didn’t respond.
‘So, Kera, which one of these fine specimens is yours?’
Bewildered by the question, she returned a confused look. Sarah merely smiled and whispered, ‘Men sweetheart, men.’ Teanne could feel her face turn red.
‘That one over there.’ Lin jumped in.
Sarah followed Lin’s finger pointing to Alexander. He slowly lifted his eyes, and smiled gently, bowing his head. ‘Ooo! He looks like a good plaything.’ The Queen attempted to silence Sarah with a glare, but she simply shrugged her shoulders and continued
, ‘It’s a shame we didn’t get to spend any time together this trip, Kera. I think we could have had a lot of fun.’
Teanne nodded and started picking at some vegetables. She felt the familiar stare and looked up towards Alexander; his eyes were focused firmly on her. Quickly diverting her gaze, she turned to Lin. ‘How long do we have to stay?’
’We only just got here’ Lin replied a little bewildered at her friends’ mood.
Teanne returned to playing with her vegetables.
‘Excuse me, Sister Kera, Sister Lin; can I get you anything else?’ Teanne looked across the table to a young boy, no more the seven turns, peering over the mountain of food, presenting a tray. He kept blowing his dark locks away from his face and looked at her intently. The boy’s eyes caught Teanne’s breath. They reminded her of Jacob and almost choking on her words, she asked
‘What’s your name?’
‘Arthur.’ The boy replied, standing straight. Teanne felt her head swirl. The little boy continued to stare, Teanne felt her heart swell. She could not contain her sorrow, or her joy. An older woman came up and patted the young boy on the back.
‘Come now, Arthur you know this is not your table to serve; my apologies.’ Teanne followed the young boy, as he was led away. He turned around and waved.
‘Oh wasn’t he just the sweetest thing’ Teanne could only hear Sarah telling her mother. She felt her heartbreak.
There was no mistaking it, he had to be. He was Arthur Lee, Jacob’s father.
‘You look like you just saw a spirit.’ Teanne barely heard Lin. She was completely lost in her thoughts. Looking around the room, she searched for the boy. After a while, she settled on him standing proudly with his friends against a far wall, obviously enraptured with the grandeur of the event. Teanne felt tears welling in her eyes.
Shaking off the growing emotions, she turned to Sarah, ‘So, how far along is your pregnancy?’ Sarah rubbed her belly and looked at her mother who nodded. ‘Three months.’
‘Three months, I would have thought further along than that?’Sarah returned a sly smile,
‘We have shorter birth cycles than most; in fact I could drop any minute now.’ Her giggle was demented. Teanne flicked a carrot off her plate and attempted to change the subject.
‘Do you travel with the father?’
Sarah’s mood sharply changed. ‘There is no need for a man to be around once he has completed his duty.’ Teanne was speechless, and wanted to push the discussion, but a glare from the Mother Sovereign cut her short,
‘Indeed’ Teanne politely replied before shooting Lin an exasperated look, 'I find there is much to learn about your ways, Highness, I would like to know more, one day?’
Sarah ignored Teanne’s attempt at diplomacy and pushed her plate away defiantly.
‘I’m sure you and your kind would like to know more.’ The Queen, sensing her daughter’s mood leaned over to Teanne. ‘We would be honoured if you would learn our ways Kera, perhaps you could visit our kingdom one day.’ Teanne smiled politely and bowed her head.
An eternity seemed to pass as everyone began their meals, Teanne occasionally looked around the room searching for Arthur, and every time she found him she had to look away quickly at fear she would burst into tears. The thought of not knowing how she was going to return to her life became more prominent everytime she looked at Arthur – he was a reminder of the reality she was trying to put aside and allow what was happening to play out its course.
‘Ahh. A little treat for you and your daughter, Majesty.’
The Mother Sovereign directed everyone’s gaze to the centre of the room where a group of twelve youngsters had formed a line. Jacob’s father was toward the front behind a younger girl. Teanne could not take her eyes off the little boy, even at such a young age, he reminded her so much of Jacob. She smiled broadly as they each lifted their arms and started performing a uniformed dance representing fire, a ball of fire sprung from the girl ahead of Arthur. Teanne watched as she lifted it high and then threw it behind her to Arthur, who caught it well and then accurately threw it into the air, another young girl behind him caught it and it carried on down the line. Teanne felt her heart swell with pride. A tear slowly ran down her face.
Lin interrupted her thoughts. ‘He’s a little young for you, isn’t he?’ Teanne ignored Lin and looked around the room. The gathered crowd seemed like a blur, she tried desperately to focus on the performance but everything seemed to be spinning around her. Teanne took a deep breath and felt for the stone she had tucked in her bodice. Instantly she calmed. Teanne knew that it was time; she had wasted too much time living this lie.
‘It is time for you to guide me’ she silently thought to the stone.
Lin again interrupted her thoughts ‘Be careful, Alexander might get jealous.’ This time Lin's joking was too much.
‘Mother, I am so sorry. But may I be excused? I have an awful headache.’
The Mother Sovereign was not happy and turned to the Queen, ‘My daughter had a nasty fall a while ago, she still comes down often with headaches.’
The Queen nodded maternally ‘Of course go Kera, I’m sure we will meet again.’
Teanne rose and bowed. She turned to Sarah. ‘Best wishes in everything, Highness.’
Sarah simply smiled; her eyes seemed to lose their radiance and were replaced with venom.
‘Pity Kera, I did feel like playing this evening.’
Teanne moved away from the table and headed for the doors.
‘Wait up.’ Lin caught up with Teanne and looked at her, worried. ‘What’s wrong with you?’
Teanne did not answer. She needed to get out of the festival hall as quickly as possible.
Teanne seated herself on a bench outside. The night air was warm, but she shivered. Lin sat down beside her. ‘Are you going to tell me what that was all about?’
Teanne looked at Lin, her eyes filling with tears, ‘Are you my friend, Lin?’ Lin nodded. ‘Can I trust you?’
Lin slowly put her hand on Teanne’s shoulder and whispered, ‘With your life, Kera.’
Teanne studied the younger version of the Head Elder she once knew, and hoped that she could trust her. She wanted – no - she needed, someone to share her burden—share her lie. She faltered as a group of initiates and Tyros walked past, giggling.
‘Kera. You can tell me anything. I promise on my mother that I will not judge you.’
Teanne slowly drew a breath and looked around the garden. She fixed her gaze on the rotunda and felt for the Estrus. It warmed as if in agreement with her decision. Teanne sighed.
‘I didn't exactly lie the day we went into the Great Study about how I came across the stone. I . . .’ Teanne strained to find the words. ‘I was given the stone by the Head Elder Elite on her deathbed— Elder Lin–you. You entrusted me with returning the Estrus to its rightful owner.’ Teanne looked at the woman, who sat silent listening. ‘You entrusted it to me.’
Teanne stopped and took a breath.
‘Me. Not Kera the daughter of the Mother Sovereign. Me… Teanne Carr.’
Teanne searched Lin’s face for some kind of recognition. But there was nothing. Lin showed no emotion, and Teanne wondered if she was dreaming. She looked at Lin carefully, why was this woman not reacting to what she had just told her. Did she already suspect something?
Finally Lin broke the silence ‘you had better start from the beginning.’
Slowly Teanne retold the story of the attack on Luia, how the Head Elder of the Elite had entrusted her with returning the Estrus to its rightful owner, about the woman in the below world – and Jacob, and then finally how she awoke next to the great walls. She watched as Lin looked over to the rotunda then looked back at her. Teanne could almost hear Lin's mind trying to process her words.
Teanne watched as Lin slowly rose and walked toward the rotunda. She turned back and started to speak, and then stop, and then turn back to the rotunda. Teanne felt like everything was rest
ing on this moment.
‘So that stone you carry is the real Estrus?’ Teanne nodded. She watched as Lin walked around the rotunda and slowly moved back to her. ‘And I gave you that stone, some hundreds of years in the future?’ Teanne nodded and waited. The silence was deafening.
‘Well it does explain a lot of odd things.’
Teanne simply waited as Lin thought through everything she had just been told. Lin slowly drew a long breath and looked at her friend. ‘This is rather hard for me to process in one go, you understand don’t you?’ Teanne nodded and looked away. She hoped she had made the right decision in telling Lin,
‘Well unless I’m dreaming, and believe me what you have just told me is a lot more farfetched than my usual dreams, I’m guessing there must be some truth to your words. I’ve known you… Kera... my entire life, even she doesn’t have that good an imagination.’
Teanne smiled softly. She could feel her heart racing. Lin finally walked back to her and extended her hand.
‘Hello Teanne, I’m Lin—future Head Elder Elite.’ Her cheeky smile made Teanne’s heart soar, a wave of relief washed over her. She grabbed Lin in an embrace and broke down in tears.
‘Thank you, I know it sounds like I’m making it all up, but I need someone to believe me. I have to get home Lin, I must. I can’t continue this lie, it’s stealing my soul.’
‘What lie?’
Teanne and Lin turned, behind them with his arms crossed, stood Alexander. He slowly stopped in front of them glaring, ‘Well?’ He said.
‘It’s none of your business, Alexander. Teanne is just not feeling her best, that’s all.’
‘Teanne?’ The slip of the tongue was accidental but it was enough to ignite Alexander’s interest. Alexander looked around the garden quickly, Teanne caught the look of fear in his eyes. Finally Alexander returned to looking at the two women.
‘Are you going to tell me what’s going on, Kera? Why you have been avoiding me?’
Teanne looked up to Alexander, the moons behind him shrouded his face, but she could still feel those eyes. She shook her head, and he moved in front of her taking her shoulders gently.
‘Kera, you and I have known each other since we were young, we have never kept secrets, please tell me what’s going on.’
Teanne looked at him, his touch was gentle and like before, the body in which she lived reacted. She started ‘My name is not . . . ’ Lin grabbed her shoulder before she could finish.
‘I’m sorry Lin, but I cannot do this anymore. Alexander my name is not Kera, it is … Teanne.’
She stared at Alexander. His eyes intently sought out the truth in her words; but he didn't react the way she expected, he simply lowered his arms and took a step back,
'Do you carry the Estrus?' he asked matter-of-factly. Both Teanne and Lin stepped away from Alexander in unison.
'How? What do you know of the Estrus?' Teanne finally asked looking at Alexander suspiciously.
'Do you carry the stone?' his tone made Teanne wary, she turned away from both of them and moved toward the rotunda. She released the pouch from her bodice and dropped the stone into her palm. She smiled as it gently warmed. Teanne turned and lifted the Estrus to Alexander and Lin. They both looked at her with a mixture of fear and realisation. Alexander moved toward her then stopped. He looked at the stone and his manner grew serious.
‘Will you walk with me?’ Teanne nodded and followed Alexander out of the garden, motioning Lin to follow. Why did she trust this man so easily – she did not even know him.
They reached the temple surround walls, Alexander ran his fingertips along the wall then turned to Teanne, he smiled softly, 'Start from the beginning'.
An hour after the revelation of Teanne’s story, the three sat on the wall. Lin’s head was bowed, her hands clasped in her lap as if praying, and Alexander staring off as he processed what Teanne had said.
‘And that brings us to now.’
Teanne sighed with relief. It was like a weight had been lifted, she felt like she could finally breathe. Alexander was silent. Lin looked deeply troubled. It was a long while before anyone spoke. Alexander finally jumped off the wall and shoved his hands deep into his pockets, and began pacing, shaking his head almost angrily. Teanne watched as he walked back and forth, she felt uncomfortable, and she wouldn’t blame either of them if they simply laughed in her face and told her to stop telling lies.
Alexander finally stopped and helped Teanne down from the wall.
‘Come on, you need to see someone.’
Luia – the surrounding forest
