My thoughts went back to Chase and Peyton’s earlier interaction. The lingering hug. Stolen glances. The arm around her shoulders.
My gut twisted at the memory. If Jamie’s theory was right, then Larry was onto something. Chase and Peyton weren’t doing each other any favors.
“Maybe it didn’t mean what it looked like,” Jamie said, seeming to read my thoughts.
“Why else would they hug like that unless they were back together?” I shook my head, wishing I could erase my thoughts. “Besides, Peyton is married. That makes all of this worse.”
“We just need to take a few steps back. Maybe there’s something we’re not seeing.”
“I don’t know, Jamie. I’ve put a lot on the line to try and help Chase. And, at each turn, I just feel like Chase hurts me even more. I don’t know how much longer I can do this.”
Jamie turned squarely toward me, a no-nonsense look in her gaze. “Remember: this isn’t about you. This is about helping Chase. Isn’t that what you said?”
I didn’t want to admit it, but I finally nodded. “Yeah, I did say that.”
“Then let’s sleep on it. In the morning, maybe your perspective will become clearer.”
She was right. My emotions felt too big right now for me to make any decisions. Maybe things would be brighter in the morning.
Chapter Thirteen
Thirty minutes later, we pulled to a stop in front of an older-style bungalow located about fifteen minutes from downtown. The streets here were narrow and filled with cars parked on the edges. The main highway that ran by the neighborhood was busy and bustling with lots of old shopping centers and power lines that were strung from poles instead of buried beneath the ground. Jamie’s friend Magnolia lived here.
Apparently, her name was Magnolia, and she had big blonde hair, wore heavy makeup, and had perceptive eyes. Also according to Jamie, Magnolia was the epitome of a Southern belle. But, similar to sugar alternatives, she was initially sweet with a bitter aftertaste.
We walked to the front door, but before we could even knock, it opened. Magnolia stood there, just as Jamie had described her. She offered a wide grin, showing bright white teeth.
“Well, if it isn’t Jamie and her friend Holly!” Magnolia’s voice sounded unusually high and Southern.
She pulled Jamie into a hug. As soon as she pulled away, Magnolia grabbed me and pulled me into a hug also. She smelled like roses, and her hairspray made her poof of hair crackle next to my ear.
“I’m so glad to meet you.”
“Sorry we’re late, and thanks for letting us crash here,” Jamie said, stealing a quick look at me. “As you’ve surmised, this is Holly.”
Magnolia grinned wider. “Of course. She rivals me when it comes to manners. I’ve heard all about you.”
She ushered us inside. I quickly observed her decorating style: lots of flowers and pastels. It also smelled like potpourri and cookies, and there were a lot of knickknacks inside. Like, a lot of knickknacks. Precious Moments figurines. A spoon collection. Glass birds.
Magnolia turned toward us. “I have tea in the dining room. Let’s sit and talk. My knickers have been in a knot since you called.”
Knickers in a knot? Interesting. We sat down at the table. Tea was already waiting there for us.
Jamie had assured me that Magnolia was smart and in the know about all things Louisville. So I told her almost everything. An unbiased, objective opinion seemed so tempting and right.
I paused when I finished and waited, trying not to play with my hands as they rested in my lap.
Magnolia stared at me before letting out a long sigh and frowning, a deep V furrowing into her brow.
“What?” I asked.
“You really want to know?”
I paused a moment before nodding. “Yes, I do.”
“You ask me, sugar, and it sounds like he’s cheating on you, drinking, gambling, or all three.”
My heart sank as my stomach dropped.
Maybe I’d hoped for a new perspective. Maybe I’d hoped for hope—for a reason to hope. I hadn’t gotten it. I couldn’t deny my hurt after seeing Chase and Peyton.
“There could be another explanation,” Jamie said, laying her hand on my arm.
Magnolia shrugged. “Maybe, but probably not.”
Jamie gave her a dirty look, but she shrugged. “You know that saying: ‘You’ve got blinders on’? That comes from horse racing. Horses wear blinders so they can keep their focus and not get distracted by anything around them. People put on blinders, and all they see is what they want to see.”
Now I not only felt bad, but I felt irritated.
“You don’t know Chase like I do,” I finally said. “Besides, why would someone be hunting Jamie and me down if this was all about Chase’s personal problems?”
“Maybe someone’s after Chase,” Magnolia said. “Maybe he owes them money. Maybe if they get to you, they figure they’ll get to him.”
My frown deepened. I hadn’t thought of that.
“Our own preconceived notions, mixed with our own desires, cloud our judgment, honey,” Magnolia continued. “When you put all the pieces together, that’s the logical conclusion.”
She said it so matter-of-factly, like she had to be right. And she had to add that “honey” to the end, like that would make everything sound a little bit nicer.
A new somberness came over me.
“Remember: assumptions are bad manners,” Magnolia finished with the innocent bat of her eyelashes.
My mouth dropped open. Now she was accusing me of not being courteous? I suddenly wasn’t liking Jamie’s friend very much.
Magnolia shifted and sighed. “I can see I’ve caused a bit of trepidation here. So I want to make you feel better. I asked some questions about Alexander Cartwright.”
“I told her about the argument when I called earlier,” Jamie added.
My spirit perked for a moment. “And?”
“People think he’s corrupt, but no one can prove anything. People think he dopes his horses and pays people so he can get away with it.”
“What?”
She nodded. “It’s true. Your boyfriend wasn’t gone anytime last week, was he?”
I searched my thoughts when one memory in particular made my stomach drop. “He did have to do a special training in Lexington. It was all day. Something with Homeland Security or something.”
“What day?” Magnolia asked.
I swallowed hard. “Wednesday.”
Magnolia frowned just as widely as she smiled. “Because Wednesday is the day Aidan Jennings disappeared.”
* * *
I woke up the next morning feeling angry. Really angry. Mostly at Chase. A little bit at myself.
I couldn’t believe he would do this to me. I couldn’t believe I’d be naïve enough to fall for it. I couldn’t believe he’d cast aside the massive strides he’d made in his life and go back to everything he’d left behind.
But I also awoke with a new conviction. I had to help Chase. No matter how much he’d hurt me and how I felt, I had to stop this downward spiral he was on. That’s what you did when you loved someone. You didn’t abandon him or walk away. You tried to be part of the solution.
“How do you propose to do that?” was the first thing Jamie asked.
“I’m going to talk to Chase’s friend Josh.”
“Who’s Josh?”
“When Chase’s life fell apart—the first time—there was only one person who called him out on it. Josh was a chaplain at the police station, and he’s been Chase’s accountability partner since then.”
“You’re going to visit him?”
I nodded. “That’s right. And, unfortunately, I need to go alone.”
“I’ll stay here and see if I can find out anything about Aidan Jennings or Alexander Cartwright or Larry or Peyton. So many possibilities. I shouldn’t get bored.”
“Thanks, Jamie.”
I looked up Josh Caraway on Magnolia’s computer an
d discovered he worked full-time as a pastor at a local community church. I knew a lot of police precincts had volunteer chaplains who held other jobs too. That was apparently the case for Josh.
An hour later, I pulled up to a small, traditional-looking church building in the suburbs. It was made of red bricks and had an A-frame roof, with a cross at the front of the building.
I hadn’t told Josh I was coming, and I hoped all this didn’t backfire in my face. I felt jittery when I stepped onto the brownish-orange carpet. Across the foyer was a corner office with glass walls on two sides. That’s where I headed.
My voice sounded squeaky when I asked the salt-and-pepper-haired lady there to speak with Josh. A moment later, a man appeared at the door behind me.
I blinked when I saw him. Maybe I’d expected meek and bookish. I wasn’t sure why. I’d seen enough pastors to know they came in all shapes and sizes.
Josh Caraway was probably just under six feet. He had spiky black hair, an oval face that was a touch too long to be considered handsome, and a glimmer of mischief in his eyes.
“Can I help you?” he asked.
I licked my lips, suddenly nervous. “Yes. I was wondering if I could have a moment of your time?”
“And you are . . . ?”
I flushed, entirely too self-conscious. “I’m so sorry. Where are my manners? I’m—”
“Holly Anna Paladin,” he finished.
I blinked. “How’d you know?”
“As soon as you said manners, it all clicked in my mind.” He grinned affably. “Of course we can talk. Come on into my office.”
My nerves only intensified as Josh ushered me into his office. It was packed full of books on three walls, and a gigantic desk sat in the middle of the room. Atop the desk was a well-worn Bible, open to the book of Matthew.
A Bible that’s falling apart usually belongs to a person who isn’t.
I’d seen that saying many times, and it had often proven true.
Would my life prove it? I was beginning to doubt it. Lately, I’d put an awful lot of faith in people. In my future. In my plans.
Maybe God was trying to teach me another lesson: a person falling apart usually meant their Bible wasn’t.
Chapter Fourteen
“What brings you here, Holly?” Josh didn’t sit behind the desk but instead took one of two padded chairs against the wall. At Josh’s direction, I sat across from him. Everything inside me screamed that I shouldn’t be here, though. This was all a mistake. A huge mistake.
But losing Chase as my boyfriend was worth saving his life.
“So you’re Holly.” Josh shook his head, leaning back in his chair and observing me a moment. “Chase has told me all about you.”
“Has he?” To say I was surprised would be an understatement. I felt like he’d easily thrown away our relationship.
“He seems like a new man since he met you, Holly. I’ve been anxious for the chance to meet you myself, but I’ve never had the opportunity. I keep meaning to make it up to Cincinnati, but my little congregation here keeps me busy. I’m not complaining, though.”
I forced a polite smile. Josh was good. He knew how to put people at ease, to start with gentle conversation, to mirror people’s body language in order to make them feel at ease.
“I’m not sure I should be here,” I started, smoothing the skirt of my navy-blue dress.
“Don’t be silly. Any friend of Chase’s is a friend of mine.” His expression sobered. “Whatever is happening, it must be important if you took the trip all the way from Cincinnati to Louisville.”
“I beg you to use your discretion with what I’m about to tell you,” I said. “I’m here because I’m concerned about Chase. I know that he looks up to you. He’s always spoken very highly about what you did for him back when his life fell apart.”
“I was only doing what the Holy Spirit put on my heart to do. Chase is my friend; I couldn’t watch him throw his life away. I couldn’t watch him drowning and do nothing to save him.”
“Exactly!” Maybe Josh would understand why I was here. I’d used that analogy many times before. “I’m worried about Chase.”
A knot formed between his eyes. “What’s going on?”
I told him everything. Well, almost everything. I tried to dampen the parts about me following Chase and the other parts where I sounded like a stalker. Instead, I emphasized the horse-racing facilities, Chase’s ex-wife, the van that had followed us back to Cincinnati, even the dead body.
“Dead body?”
“It’s a long story.”
“Did you say in the parking lot behind the Belmont Apartments?”
I blinked in surprise. “How did you know?”
“Because I live there.”
My bottom lip dropped. “Chase is staying with you?”
Josh nodded. “I haven’t seen him a lot, but yes. He’s staying with me.”
“This is going to be an odd question, but humor me if you will. What happened on the night that dead body was found?”
He thought about it a moment and shrugged. “I can tell you what I know. Chase had stopped by the apartment to pick up something. He went back outside and apparently ran into someone he knew—someone who’d been on the force with him at one time. They discovered the gun that had been left under his Jeep. The detective took it into evidence and left. Chase left. Then the police came again after an anonymous call about the dead body.”
I nodded. Something bothered me, but I didn’t know what.
“Does that help?”
“I’m not sure. But thank you for sharing. Chase told you that?”
Josh nodded. “That’s right.”
“That’s actually not why I’m here, though. I’m here about Chase.”
“It sounds like you care about him a lot, Holly.”
I told him all of that, and this was the conclusion he walked away with? I was surprised and maybe even a little irritated. I wanted him to be as shocked and concerned as I was. “I do care about him.”
“I can see where everything that’s happened would make you worried.”
“I’m afraid he’s slipping back into his old patterns. I don’t want to see him go down that dark hole again.”
“Addictions are a dark hole. You realize that there’s a part of Chase that will always struggle with alcohol, right? A person is never really cured.”
“I’m a counselor. I do realize that.”
“Of course,” Josh said, smoothing the leg of his jeans. “But sometimes even counselors need reminding.” He leaned toward me. “What do you want me to do?”
What did I want him to do? I didn’t know. “He’s shut me out, Josh. He doesn’t know that I know any of this. He doesn’t even know that I’m aware of where he is. It’s a long story how I found out. Let’s just say I’m resourceful.”
“I’ve heard that also.” He smiled, but the action quickly morphed into concern. “You want me to talk to him?”
I rubbed my lips together. “I suppose that is what I want. I just feel like he could use a voice of wisdom right now.”
“Are you afraid of losing him?”
“I’m more afraid that he’s going to mess up his life. I don’t know how to help.”
“Sometimes we can’t help. We have to let a person learn for themselves.”
Did he know something I didn’t? “Are you saying that’s true for Chase? Because that might work in some scenarios, but not with addictions.”
He raised his hands. My voice must have risen as my emotions got the best of me.
“I understand that. I agree that we need accountability. But the choice is ultimately up to the person whose life is wrapped up in their choices. You know that as a social worker, I’m sure. I pushed Chase in the right direction five years ago, but he was the one who made the choice to change.”
I nodded reluctantly. His words were true. I knew that. I wanted a formula or the option to wave a magic wand and make everything right. If only life worked li
ke that.
If only God worked like that.
Josh must not have interpreted my agreement, because he continued. “There were other guys at the station I tried to help. It didn’t always work. Even after I confronted some people with the truth about their lives, they continued to do what they wanted. It didn’t matter what I told them. They kept going on the path they were on.”
“That’s pretty common.”
He leaned toward me, lowering his head and his voice. I had a feeling there was a sermon coming on. I wasn’t disappointed.
“I’ll call this ‘The Tale of Two Officers.’ There was another officer at the station who had problems around the same time Chase got off track,” Josh started. “The guy ended up stealing some drugs from the evidence lockers and got himself into a heap of trouble. I tried to speak life into this man also, but he only got defensive and acted out more. Instead of turning from his ways, he dove in deeper. He ended up losing his job, going to jail, and basically turning to a life of crime.”
“So you’re saying that could have been Chase?”
He nodded. “That’s exactly what I’m saying. Chase could have gone off the deep end. He didn’t. He came to a point in his life where he had to choose which path he was going to take. He chose wisely. Unfortunately, we come to a lot of those paths in our lives. We have a lot of moments where our decisions will define the foreseeable future.”
“I understand. And I agree. I’ve been there before myself.” When I’d been given a year to live, I’d chosen to embrace the future I had left instead of mourning the time I was losing. I waited, unsure of how to read between the lines. I supposed in some ways, I was at that fork in the road now also. I could walk away from my interference in Chase’s life, or I could dive in deeper.
I was diving in deeper. Almost to the point of no return.
I frowned. “So, all that said, you’ll help?”
Finally, he nodded. “I’ll talk to Chase. See if I can find out what’s going on. I’ll make sure he’s okay. I’ll also see what I can find out about that security footage.”
“You’d do that?”
Random Acts of Malice (Holly Anna Paladin Mysteries Book 3) Page 9
