I nodded. He was right. I didn’t feel better. I just wanted my heartache to end.
“I’d say someone was watching out for you if you got away from that alive,” he said quietly.
I nodded. “I agree.”
“Praise God.”
“I haven’t stopped thanking Him.”
He continued to stare. “I should get you to a hospital, Holly.”
I shook my head. “I’ll be fine. I just need to get cleaned up. Maybe rest. This is nothing that some frozen peas and Band-Aids can’t fix.”
“I don’t know. You should file a report at least.”
“Please, just get me back to my car. I’ll get this figured out.”
With noticeable reluctance, he put his car in drive and started down the road. Silence stretched between us for several minutes. Maybe we were both formulating our thoughts. I knew I was. I hadn’t stopped running everything through my head since I regained consciousness.
“Did anything else happen since you talked to me last?” Josh finally asked. “Anything that might have . . . provoked this? Not that I think any of this is your fault. But I can’t wrap my mind around what might have precipitated them doing this to you.”
I pressed my lips together a moment. “We started looking into Alexander Cartwright. Does that count?”
“He’s . . . powerful. I suppose it might, especially if there were accusations involved.”
“I don’t know about accusations. We’re still in the process of digging.”
Josh frowned. “I asked one of my friends on the force about the death of Aidan Jennings.”
I sat up straighter. “And?”
“It’s strange. He said all the security footage at the apartment complex disappeared.”
“What?” Surprise shot through me.
“Apparently the manager stepped outside to talk to the police. When he came back inside, the door to his office was open. The footage was gone.”
Chase . . . would Chase have done that? Why?
I didn’t know what that meant or where it left us. But it was strange.
“Holly, correct me if I’m wrong, but it doesn’t sound like these guys are really after you. It sounds like you made them nervous because they thought you were a threat. Maybe now that they know you’re not tracking them, they’ll leave you alone.”
“Maybe.”
“But you would have to truly start leaving them alone. Maybe go back to Cincinnati.”
I shrugged and stared out the window a moment. Apparently, I’d been right on the outskirts of town, because we were already seeing strip malls and traffic lights. “I think my work here is done. I’m not even sure what I was fighting for anymore.”
“What do you mean?”
“I saw Chase yesterday, Josh. He was placing a wager on one of the horses down at the track. Then he gave Peyton one of these long-drawn-out hugs. Not the kind of hugs that happen between friends. This was one of those intimate ones.”
“I see.”
I glanced at him sharply. “What does that mean?”
Something about his words had struck me. He hadn’t denied or urged me to look at the situation in a different way. He’d just accepted my words.
“I actually talked to Chase last night, Holly.” His voice held regret.
The tension in my back pulled tighter. “And?”
He sighed. “Do you really want to know?”
I wasn’t sure if I did or not. People always said the truth was the best thing. But sometimes the truth was hard to handle, and ignorance really could be bliss. But I’d come this far. My heart already felt broken. So why put off the inevitable?
Chapter Nineteen
“I do want to know,” I told Josh.
Josh sighed again, keeping his gaze focused out the front window. “I asked him why he was really in town. I said I hoped he wasn’t falling back on his old habits.”
“And?” I was nearly on the edge of my seat—figuratively speaking, of course.
“He got defensive.” His voice almost sounded apologetic.
“Defensive?” People usually got defensive when a nerve was struck. That usually happened when the truth was within touching distance.
“I don’t know. I expected him to deny it. He told me he was coming here as part of his work. That a lead in an old case had popped up. I had questions about that, since he has no jurisdiction in this area. But I wanted to trust him.”
“You don’t anymore?”
“He wouldn’t give me a straight answer. And when I asked him if he’d been drinking again, he wouldn’t even answer me.”
“You think something is going on too?” I said as he pulled to a stop by my car.
He frowned. “I do. I don’t know what, but I’m worried, Holly. I’m really worried.”
* * *
When I got back to my car, I felt even more determined. Maybe it made me stupid. Maybe it made me brave. I didn’t know.
I pulled down the visor in the car and flinched at what I saw. My lip was split. A bruise had already formed around my eyes. My hair looked like a Stylist-of-Doom had practiced her skills on it.
But even more than that was the look in my eyes. My fear was all too evident.
But I couldn’t let fear stop me. Life was too short for that.
I found my purse and tried to cover the imperfections on my face. But every time I touched my sensitive skin, I wanted to cry.
Maybe makeup wasn’t a good option right now. Instead, I pulled my hair back into a ponytail. I grabbed a hat and slid it on, along with sunglasses. I also had a jean jacket in the back that I pulled over my bloodstained shirt. I still wasn’t a pretty sight, but this was going to have to do.
My ribs ached with every motion. My head throbbed. My throat felt swollen. I should have driven to the hospital, but I didn’t have time.
I found the address for Golden Equestrian and headed that way. I didn’t know if I’d get in or not, but I had to at least try.
It took me forty minutes to get there. On the ride, my entire body throbbed. I needed some painkillers, yet I didn’t want to take anything. I needed to remain lucid.
I could do this.
Rolling hills passed as I traveled toward the outskirts of town, deeper into an area that screamed “affluent.” Ancient-looking stone fences surrounded some of the land, and black fences surrounded the rest.
I pulled up to the gate. I knew it was there. I’d seen it when I dropped Jamie off this morning. But, after everything that had happened, I’d forgotten. I needed to get my game face on.
“Can I help you?” a man about my age asked. He had freckles, reddish-brown hair, and a stain on his shirt that could have easily come from the chips and dip behind him.
I licked my lips and tried to smile, but it hurt too much. “I’m here for an interview.”
“Name?”
“Anna Pala . . . wicky.” Palawicky? That was the best I could come up with?
He conferred with his clipboard. “There’s no one named Anna Palawicky on the list.”
“It was a last-minute interview. I assure you, I’m a world-class stall mucker.”
He stared at me a moment before a smile spread across his face. “World class, huh?”
“Only the best for Alexander Cartwright.” I shrugged. “Besides, I really need a job before I get kicked out of my apartment. You know how that goes.”
“Yeah. I do.” He frowned. “Look, James—he’s the stable manager—should be finishing up an interview right now. You can probably squeeze in. He’s in the last building you’ll come to. Just say there was a scheduling mix-up. Okay?”
I attempted another smile. I was certain it wasn’t pretty. “Thank you. I appreciate this more than you know.”
The gate rose, and I drove inside. That had been easier than I’d anticipated.
Now my hands trembled again. My body couldn’t seem to give me the chance to hide my anxiety. It was always out there for anyone observing me to see.
> I drove past several buildings before coming to the end of the parking lot. There was a building here, but also another in the distance. Which one had the man at the gate been talking about?
I pulled into the last parking space and stepped out. Everything around me was immaculate and breathtaking. Several horses grazed in the fields.
Was I at the right place? I wanted to think so. This was where Jamie had told me she’d had an interview. Now I just needed to find her.
I stepped toward the closest building and frowned. The man at the gate had said the last building. With that thought in mind, I started up the hill to the barn at the top of the hill. My ribs and lungs and every other part of me cried out in pain with every step.
But I was determined to get my friend and go home.
I reached the stable and stepped inside. I paused by the entryway. The building was actually much older than I’d anticipated. Whereas the other stables had looked clean and new, this one even smelled old and stuffy, like the wood inside had seen more years than most of the horses who had at one time occupied it. Small streams of sunlight slithered in through the cracked boards of the roof and walls. Traces of hay sprinkled the floor, and frayed ropes hung on tacks against the wall.
Not surprisingly, I found no one inside. No horses. No people. No Jamie doing an interview.
My walk up the hill and the ensuing pain had all been for nothing.
Despite that, I started walking down the long row of stalls, imagining for a moment what it would be like to own this kind of place, to work here, even. Far beyond what luxuries I’d ever been permitted or blessed with. But I liked my little life, as simple as it was. I’d take contentment any day over wanderlust.
Except when it came to love. Wasn’t that truly the case? I wanted what I’d seen my mom and dad have.
I thought I’d found it in Chase. I’d been wrong. Deeply wrong.
The thought almost made me feel like I’d been stabbed in the heart.
I reached the end and turned around. Just as I’d suspected, no one was here.
It looked like I needed to walk back to the other building. My body felt tired, exhausted. Even the thought of trying to drag myself that far made me want to give up and curl into a little ball instead.
But I was Holly Anna Paladin. I wasn’t a quitter. I was a fighter. I fought for the people who were voiceless, who were powerless to help themselves.
But who was I really fighting for now?
A man who’d gotten back together with his ex-wife without even bothering to tell me first. Without the courtesy of breaking up with me. Without being respectful enough to speak the truth to me.
Anger burned inside me at the thought.
I wasn’t fighting for Chase. I had been. Maybe against my better instincts.
Right now, I had to fight for myself. I had to find Jamie before I ended up getting her too deeply into this mess as well.
As a creak sounded in the distance, my steps faltered. What was that? No one was in here. I’d checked myself.
Despite that, fear grabbed at me again, desperate to pull me back into its clutches. Maybe I’d never escaped its grasp in the first place.
I took a tentative step. I had to get out of here one way or another.
Besides, this place was empty, I reminded myself. The noise had probably been a bird or maybe a mouse.
Voices sounded outside. I looked out one of the open windows and saw two men walking this way. My breath caught. I didn’t want to be caught in here.
Just then, arms reached out of nowhere. Grabbed me. Pulled me into the dim isolation of a stall.
Chapter Twenty
My heart hammered in my ears. Using the last of my energy, I kicked against the man. I threw my elbows back and into a rock-solid abdomen. It didn’t matter; I was no match for his strength.
Was it one of the men from the van? Had he followed me here to see what my next move would be? To make good on his promise?
The swift staccato of my heartbeat drowned all other sounds. My captor kept one hand over my mouth, and the other pinned my arms in place. He was waiting for the men outside to pass, I realized. I froze, waiting also. Maybe those men could help. When the voices faded, my heart plummeted.
Despair threatened to bite deep. I had to fight it. But my fight was dying. Waning. It was as if I was playing Russian roulette with my life by taking too many chances.
“Calm down,” a gruff voice whispered.
I heard the growl in his tone and complied. I was clearly outmuscled and would need to rely on another way of getting out—brains, wit, luck—whatever worked.
The seconds ticked past as I waited, anticipating his next move. Finally, he released his hold and turned me toward him. I resisted the desire to cower and kept my chin up instead. If I was going to die, it was going to be with dignity.
I sucked in a deep breath when I saw his face.
“Chase?” My voice sounded breathless with surprise.
“What do you think you’re doing?” His voice sounded hard, which matched well with his gaze. His eyes were narrowed, and he hunkered over me, all brawn and testosterone.
My anger surged to life. At one time I’d feared how Chase might feel when he learned the truth about what I’d done. But his truth blew mine out of the water. “I could ask you the same thing.”
“Did you follow me?”
I wanted to deny it. I wanted to pretend all my actions had been honorable and above reproach. But I couldn’t do that. “I was worried about you.”
His jaw flexed and he stepped back. “I asked you for space.”
“I wonder why.” My voice held sarcasm and scorn, and I hated myself for it. But I couldn’t deny how hurt I was. I might be Mary Manners in regular life; in matters of the heart, maybe I was just as immature as the next person. I’d have to work on that. On a different day.
He lowered his voice, his eyes still narrowed. “Do you have any idea what you’ve gotten yourself into?”
“Apparently I don’t. Apparently the man I thought loved me has been lying to me. When were you going to tell me the truth, Chase? Didn’t I deserve that? I at least deserved for you to break things off before you returned to your old life.”
“Returned to my old life?” Chase raised his chin, his eyes still containing that hard edge, one I’d never seen directed at me until this conversation. “I asked you to trust me.”
“I saw you were on a downward spiral, and I didn’t want you to go there.”
“I didn’t see you trying to stop me.” He still glared down at me, the look in his eyes disapproving and distant, with a touch of anger.
“If you only knew what I’d been through. I was gathering the facts first and trying to believe the best in you.”
He stepped closer, his shoulders slumping as if he was going through the stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. “You’re lucky you weren’t killed, Holly.”
“I almost was.” I slid off my sunglasses and watched as his face muscles went slack. Before I could lose the full effect, I unbuttoned my jacket and showed him my bloodstained clothes. I took off my hat, so no shadows would conceal my bruises. “Is this what you want to see? Is this the point you want to drive home?”
“Oh, Holly.” He closed his eyes, his features pinched with regret. He turned away, as if he couldn’t stand to see me this way. “I never want to see you hurt. Never.”
“Well, this is what happens when someone you love lies to you.”
His eyes opened and he reached for me, that soft look in his eyes that I always fell for. The one that made my insides turn to jelly and made me think with my heart instead of my head.
“Holly . . .”
I shook my head and stiffened my back. This was no time to get soft. “Don’t ‘Holly’ me. Don’t act like you care, because we both know the truth.”
I almost jabbed him in the chest with each word, but I held myself together.
His eyes widened. “What a
re you talking about? Of course I care about you.”
I only stared at him, refusing to respond. It seemed so inconsequential to share what we both already knew. He was in love with his ex. Into gambling. Associating with unsavory characters. Who knew what else? Voicing it out loud would only humiliate me.
His fingers skimmed the tender area around my eye. “Who did this to you, Holly?”
I froze, his touch sending shivers across my skin. “I don’t know.”
He dropped his hand, his anger dissipating and replaced with somberness and regret. “Holly, there’s a lot you don’t understand—”
Before he could finish, voices drifted toward us from outside the stable. Chase grabbed my arm and nudged me against the wall. He stepped in close, blocking me, sheltering me.
Even as angry as I was toward him, my body again reacted differently than my self-control dictated. My skin burst to life at his closeness. When I smelled the familiar scent of his woodsy cologne, my heart quickened.
Chase still had that effect on me, whether I liked it or not.
I had so many questions that I wanted to toss on him like grenades onto a battlefield. How had he even found me here? There was no time to ask him that. Not now.
Chase put his finger over his lips, motioning for me to remain quiet. For a moment, I forgot how upset I was with him. His heart pounded against me. His chest rose and fell. His muscles felt tense, taut.
I froze, conscious of every moment, every breath. The voices drifted again.
What was going on? Chase acted like this was life or death. That realization didn’t make me feel better.
He pressed harder against me as the men’s voices grew louder. They were in the stables now. Close. Maybe on the other side of the gritty wooden wall.
“I can’t do it anymore,” one man said. His voice sounded soft, almost whiny.
“We’ll make that choice.” The second man’s voice was gruff and all business. I imagined a burly, scary-looking man with a shaved head and a gold tooth.
“I don’t think you understand. I’m done.”
Random Acts of Malice (Holly Anna Paladin Mysteries Book 3) Page 12
