Kameron turned, narrowing his eyes at his cousin. “You sure are talkative lately. Not that I mind, but when you get verbose, I feel like you’re up to something.” Max had been solemn and silent for far too long. And perhaps since his cousin was leaning on Kam and his problems, he wasn’t so deep in his own pain that he couldn’t find his way out. But Kameron really wasn’t in the mood to deal with any extra eyes on him. He had enough to deal with. He didn’t want too curious wolves in his business.
“I can go back to being a grouchy asshole if you want. Oh, wait, that’s you.”
Max turned on his heel, flipping Kameron off along the way, and went to help a couple of the female soldiers who were having issues with their balance. Each of them had given birth recently, only just coming back to training. Their center of gravity was different enough now that it was as if they had to learn from scratch. Since Max had a new center of gravity for a far different reason, his cousin was a good person to help them find their new way.
And if helping others helped Max, Kam would find every member of the Pack who needed help for his cousin.
When Dave pinned Tino to the ground, and Tino yielded, Kam grinned at the look on Dave’s face. Tino was usually the better fighter, but Dave seemed to be working twice as hard lately to catch up. The two were Kameron’s friends and also happened to be the ones that looked out for Dhani the most when she was on Pack land. Well, maybe not the most since that seemed to be Kameron’s role these days, but he wasn’t going to think about that too much.
He knew that if he told anyone about his reasons for keeping himself back, it wouldn’t make sense to them, but it did to him. He knew the man he needed to be in order to keep those he cared about safe. And though he was attracted to Dhani, and while he knew there might be something more there, he had to weigh all aspects of what could hurt her in the end. Because he didn’t know of any Enforcer in any Pack who hadn’t lost someone. The Alpha’s mate was always protected. It was harder to get to them than any other mate connected to the hierarchy that could be used as a symbol. And that meant that enemies went for the next mate they could get at. And it usually wasn’t the Beta. Or the Heir. It was the one they saw as the strongest threat. And that was the Enforcer. The previous Redwood Pack Enforcer had lost his first mate in a horrible way. It’d destroyed the other man, causing such pain and deterioration that Kam didn’t know how the guy had survived. But then, decades later, he found another mate, yet he’d almost lost her as well through his own grief and stupidity—and because of the rival Pack who wanted to make her an example.
There were other Enforcers around the country and the world who had lost children, mates, siblings, and even those they were dating. Maybe it was just a coincidence, but Kam didn’t believe in those. He trusted in data and threats. And he did not want anyone in his circle to get hurt because Blade or some other enemy saw him as a target. Or saw his mate as a symbol.
And that was just one more reason why he was the icy one of the family. It was not his job to feel. It was not his duty to deal in those emotions, damn it. That was what his brothers—the Healer and the Omega—were for. Walker was the Healer, he had to get under the skin to Heal physical wounds, and by doing so, he connected to the person on a more global level. Brandon, the Omega, literally dealt with emotions and the impact they had on not just the individual but also the den itself.
They were the ones who cared.
Kameron was the one who had to protect.
He didn’t need to be a nice guy to keep people alive. Emotions were messy, distracting.
It was better that people feared him. Because then, they would stay safe.
Dhani didn’t fear him, yet he feared for her.
And that’s why he knew he might need to stay away.
Even if it hurt both of them in the end.
Chapter Ten
Although Dhani had always known that living within the den would be different than the life she was used to, she hadn’t quite expected the dramatic changes her life would undergo after she moved into her small cottage and started working with the young wolves of the den.
Instead of being completely structured with what she had to wear and what she had to say, she could wear jeans and a T-shirt and be completely comfortable. Not that she actually would wear jeans to teach…because there were just some lines she wasn’t sure she could cross—even if it was all in her head. But she did wear cute leggings and flowy tops so she was comfortable while still looking somewhat presentable.
The lesson plans were given to her, but she was also able to tailor them to each student in need. The den’s school was much smaller than her old one, so she only had twelve students in her class. Apparently, that was a huge boom compared to the previous years since there were some gaps in the children’s ages. That meant there were some grades in school with no children yet, but she was told that was changing.
She was learning so much about shifters that she knew she would probably never be able to remember it all. For instance, many mated couples had way more than one or two children like humans did. In fact, a lot of them had eight or nine. Considering how many siblings Kam had, that made sense. Twins and multiples were not uncommon, either. In fact, they were more common than singles in some family trees.
And because shifters were so long-lived, they tended to have all of their children in one big burst over one or two decades. That way, all of the babies could grow up together as true siblings rather than being somewhat disconnected because of such large age gaps. She’d always wondered why some mated couples could live into their three hundreds or more, but all of their children were around the same age. She would’ve thought maybe they would spread their kids out a bit more, but it made way more sense the way they did things. Sometimes, there was a happy accident later on in life. Much later in some cases, since she knew of one family that’d had their youngest a hundred years after they had their other children.
And then, sometimes, the couple had the sudden urge to have another baby even if it was fifty years after their others. There weren’t set rules, but most of them went with the grain instead of against it.
However, up until recently, at least within recent memory of the den, there hadn’t been many children born to the Pack. There weren’t many mated pairs either. She didn’t know everything behind that pain, but she knew it must run deep. It wasn’t her place to ask all the questions and learn all the history without being invited in. She knew she wasn’t Pack, even though she was a friend to them. And though she should perhaps feel a little more disconnected than she did…she didn’t. Maybe it was because she was finding her own way rather than waiting for others to invite her in. Before, when she was in the human world, she’d always been the one waiting. Only her best friends, Dawn, Aimee, and Cheyenne, had been able to keep her close, and keep her grounded.
Dhani shook off those weird thoughts and went back to thinking about the children she worked with daily. They had brilliant, inquisitive minds. And while she truly missed her previous students, she knew she was right where she needed to be. Learning to teach shifters was a whole other matter. Sometimes, they would shift unexpectedly and be embarrassed. Then she had to help them shift back and straighten their clothing. Because a little wolf pup caught and tangled in their clothes was scary for the youngster.
And then there was the growling, yipping, and other things that went with being the only human in a room full of shifters.
On top of that, not every child was just a wolf. Some were children of witch and wolf pairings. Meaning, she also had to be aware if any child got a little too excited and used their elemental magic. There hadn’t been an issue yet, but Dawn had warned her to be on the lookout. There were always witches nearby to help in case of an incident or emergency, though. Dhani was never alone, and there were always others around to help her with any of the paranormal aspects that were a little out of her depth.
It also made her think about the fact that, yes, she was the only true human around
. Everyone around her had more strength. Some had special powers, and many of them were a full century older than she was. She didn’t feel out of place, but she was aware of her humanity.
Maybe that was why Kam wanted to stay away from her.
No, she immediately pushed that thought out of her head. He had said that he wanted her, but he also wanted to protect her. While she understood that, she also didn’t know if she wanted to pursue a relationship with him. Because relationships in this case were worth more than a single night. They were permanent. They meant something. Mating was for life. It was serious. If she could take it as slow as possible, she would.
But if she let herself think beyond the idea of her relationship, she then thought of whom she could be within the Pack itself. Could she see herself as a wolf? She didn’t know if that was for her—or Cheyenne for that matter. Because two of their four were already moving on with their lives. What did that mean for her and Cheyenne? Dawn and Aimee were each shifters, practically immortal, and would one day leave Dhani and Cheyenne behind. Unless Dhani became a wolf.
But was that for her? Could she see herself fighting another soul, another form of dominance within her body as she tried to figure out who she was before and after that point in time? She wasn’t sure, but she knew it was a much harder question than thinking that magic and shifters were cool. Because while that was the case, she could see the challenges evident in each of her children as they wrestled with their own wolves and magic. They were so strong, yet they couldn’t be like the human children she’d taught before. They couldn’t grow up as she had as a child.
The point might be moot, however. Because with the new laws in session thanks to humans wanting to control the shifters any way they could, wolves could not change humans into one of them even under special circumstances. It had to be through a mating bond. If a shifter found their mate out in the human world, they could change that person into one of their own. And though there were ways to get around that, they were all dire circumstances that Dhani didn’t even know the details of. And even if, for some reason, she found herself wanting to be a wolf, it didn’t mean that the others would allow her to be Pack. There was a difference between being a guest and being family.
Yet if she were to mate with Kam, in order for her to live her life with him into eternity rather than her normal lifespan, she would have to be changed. Only witches could remain in their original forms through a mating bond. Apparently, that magic allowed them to match their lifespans to their mate’s.
Humans didn’t have that option.
She thought that was kind of crap since she loved being human. Sure, she loved her friends that were shifters and witches, but she loved herself, too.
If she were to allow herself to mate Kameron, let herself be in a relationship that was more than a single date, one that stretched into eternity and bonded her soul to another, she would have to leave part of her life—a part of herself—behind.
And while she had already done that somewhat when she took the job here, it wasn’t the same as completely altering her life and the way she lived for someone else. Some might say she would be altering it for herself, as well, but since she wasn’t ready for that, she couldn’t truly think about it.
As she sat on her tiny porch swing, she let all those complicated thoughts wash over her. Yes, she was exactly where she needed to be, but finding the next path and taking the next step, that was as murky as ever.
She was going to have dinner with Brie and her mate, the Alpha, later tonight. Gideon wanted to get to know her more since she was now living with his Pack, and she didn’t mind. She liked him, and though he looked like Kameron, she still found her man far more attractive.
She paused, taking a few mental steps back on that train of thought. Her man? Since when had she started thinking of Kameron as her man? She needed to get a grip because if she didn’t, she might make a mistake and go too far, too fast, and regret it in the end. And she didn’t want to live with regrets. She knew Kameron was the same way.
As if she’d conjured him from thin air, he was suddenly standing in front of her, a curious expression on his face.
“What are you thinking about so hard that you keep frowning?”
He smelled so good, and she had no idea why she thought that. She watched his jaw clench as he studied her, but she didn’t think it was in anger. It only meant that he was thinking…and looking damn sexy while doing it.
She wasn’t about to tell him everything, but she could at least tell him some. “I was just thinking about how complicated it is in a world that isn’t just humans with their own wars and issues. But, really, I’m just thinking about the fact that I have dinner tonight with Gideon and Brie. They said not to bring anything other than myself, and now I’m worried about that.”
He moved so he was a bit closer, and she swallowed hard.
“That’s a lot to worry about. But they’re not going to mind if you don’t come with anything. Brie is submissive, and though you know the word, the reality of it is deeper than what most think. It means she needs to take care of everybody that she calls her own. She will feed you all the food that she can, and the house will be warm, inviting, the candles lit, and Fallon, the baby, will crawl all over you and make you smile. Gideon will glare and growl, and then will probably laugh at something stupid, and you’ll know that you fit right in. It’s how those two work.”
She smiled at that. “I kind of like that idea. I hope it works out like that. I’m still nervous. If I think about the fact that I’m going into an Alpha couple’s home, I’ll start to panic. Yes, I’ve been there before, but never alone. And sure, Gideon’s a great guy, but he’s still the Alpha of a Pack of shifters. I’ve no idea how my life ended up like this, but I’m trying to catch up.”
Kameron moved forward so he was leaning against the railing of her porch, so close to her on the porch swing that she could feel the heat of him. The man was always so hot—literally and figuratively—that he heated her from the inside and out anytime he was near.
“I was just on my way home, by the way. I found myself walking past your place instead of going around. I hope it’s okay that I’m here.”
She swallowed hard. “I didn’t want to ask. What are we doing, Kameron? Because if we aren’t careful, we’re going to hurt more than each other. I’m not a fan of uncertainty, but I don’t feel like it’s time yet to make any decisions.”
He shook his head, stuffing his hands into his pockets. “We have time. But the reasons I stated before haven’t changed. I’m going to hate myself every day for having to push you like I was forced to. And I guess you were right earlier; I don’t have my head on straight. Because I don’t know what I’m doing either. And I can’t be that man. I can’t be the fumbling guy who makes mistakes. People count on me. And I don’t like that I don’t know what I’m doing.”
She gave him a soft smile, knowing that they were both on the same page, even if that page didn’t make any sense and would probably hurt them both in the end.
“I’m not asking for promises. I know you aren’t either. But, Kameron? If and when the time comes when promises are made, then those are the kind that are never broken. I’m not that person. You can’t just walk away once I give in. So go back to your house. Go be the hero that I know you can be, the hero that you need to be. And I’m going to try and find my place here. I’m going to try and figure out this new me. And then, maybe…maybe we can figure out if those two can fit.”
Thankfully, Kam didn’t say anything after that. Instead, he leaned forward, brushed his knuckle along her jaw, and then walked away. She sat there on the porch for little bit longer, relishing the feel of his touch, even though it was only an echo now.
Could she be a mate? Could she let herself fall and be a new person in this new world? Because while she felt the pull, and she knew they could be mates, she wanted to know if he was hers in truth. She wanted to feel that emotion, she wanted to love.
She wanted t
o be loved.
Because she was still human, after all.
SNATCHED
Blade sat on the soft couch in front of the two humans as he explained to them the horrors that awaited their daughter. He did his best to sound sympathetic. He wasn’t a compassionate man, wasn’t sure he’d ever felt anything close to an emotion such as that, but he knew how to fake it when it counted.
The two in front of him held each other close as he explained that their daughter had been kidnapped and that the only hope for her life was to do the unthinkable. He told them that he would make the connections, get the plans in place, and that he would do all in his power to protect their precious baby girl.
And all the while, they had no idea that the true wolf, the true Alpha was the one in a suit with a soft smile and kind eyes.
At least, he hoped they were kind. Because he wasn’t a benevolent man.
But he would lie to get what he wanted.
He would kill to get what he desired.
And now, he would use those that would come up against him to get what he deserved.
Because this couple in front of him would do exactly what he wanted. They would say exactly what he told them to. He would coach them so they took the next step to bringing down the Talons.
And if their daughter died along the way, so much the better. Because then she would be out of his life, no longer a symbol of what the Talons could have. Then, the human factions who were against the shifters would do their duty and take out those who dared stand in Blade’s way.
Strength Enduring (Talon Pack Book 8) Page 7
