by Kylie Key
“How’s your date? "
"My date?" I was sure Ainsley’s bronze blusher was not doing its job.
"Yeah." He laughed. “With the books." He swished his hair to the side with an air of haughtiness.
I didn’t like that my throat was bone dry and silent.
I didn’t like that my brain was in a fog and I couldn’t think of a smart reply.
I didn’t like the way my lungs were tightening, not able to get air in.
I didn’t like the way I was unable to take my eyes off of that conceited grin on his face.
And I didn’t like that my hands were trembling.
And that I fumbled my books.
And dropped them to the ground.
Again.
"You need a little help with those books?" He huffed out a condescending laugh.
I picked them up again, hearing him go back to his phone conversation. Gorgeous, head turning, heart stopping good looks—sure. But why was he so ugly on the inside?
I retreated to the safety of the house, not brave enough to see if he was still watching. I flopped onto the couch, my face and ears on fire.
Why would Cole Parsons talk about me like that? Why would he be so mean? He had met me for only a few minutes! Other than draw attention to his non-existent driving etiquette, I couldn't understand what I’d done that would warrant being so unkind about me.
By nature, I was the cheerful good girl, everyone's friend, the one who shared her study notes if you missed a class, who patiently watched your video of your dog licking your feet. No one had any reason not to like me. Sure, I was a top student, but nerd was not an accurate description. To be criticized so callously hurt, it felt unjustified. And it brought unfamiliar feelings of sadness and despair, my self esteem plummeting.
It felt like Cole Parsons, a boy I had barely met, had just broken my heart.
CHAPTER 4
In the space of two weeks Cole Parsons had three noisy pool parties, one on a Thursday night that had George pacing, peering out from behind the drapes and grumbling out loud.
“Where’s his mother? Doesn’t he have school tomorrow? Has he got a hearing problem?”
Mom had tried to placate him. “It’s only eight thirty. If it’s still going at nine, I’ll call Millie.”
George had shaken his head and checked his watch on the minute.
The music stopped at eight fifty-five.
Cole’s car squealed up and down the driveway on a daily basis; we always knew when he was coming and going. George muttered about the state of his tires, his brakes, road safety.
“Go easy on him,” Mom said, “it’s a nasty breakup. The kids are still coming to terms with it.”
“The little one doesn’t seem to be affected,” George scoffed, “he’s not running amok.”
“Millie’s trying her best,” Mom defended. “She’s trying to hold things together. I can’t imagine it’s easy when your marriage falls apart.”
Mom had been swept up into a fast friendship with Millie, mainly instigated by Ryan, who came over most evenings to see Charlie. Millie worked in a television newsroom and sometimes worked irregular hours. Ryan had eaten dinner at our place several times because Millie had worked late and his brother hadn’t been home.
Millie had been highly embarrassed by this and was apologetic to the max. She didn’t want to be seen as taking advantage of her neighborly position and suggested to Mom that I might like to babysit on occasion. Mom agreed to this without asking me.
I found out on Friday night, when I’d come home from Ella’s place. I’d stayed for dinner and had been playing the piano while she tried to work out an arrangement on the violin. It was for a new song she was writing with Damon.
I was telling Mom about it when there was a tap on the door.
Millie greeted us breathlessly, then asked, "Would Selina mind watching Ryan? I've got to dash out, there's a problem at the station. I’ll only be a half hour or so. He's already in bed.”
“Yes, of course she will,” Mom said, making me look up and around, wondering if I’d become invisible.
“Oh, thanks so much sweetie,” Millie said, ‘you’re a life saver.”
Mom nodded at me with a stern look, meaning my plan to snuggle in bed and binge watch a series was to be abandoned.
I picked up my phone, at a low 8%, and said, "I'll just grab a hoodie."
“Oh, you’re a darling," she said and I could hear her chatting as I ran upstairs. I picked up my charger as well, likely I'd watch an episode while I waited for her to come back.
I hesitated by the door as I pondered whether to change into my slides, but decided I was only going across the yard and I'd be back before I knew it.
"Thanks so much sweetie," Millie gushed again, and she clutched my hand, sliding a $50 note into it. "I shouldn't be long, I should be back by midnight."
I blinked, hadn't she said thirty minutes? Now it was two hours? We walked past the garage, where Cole's car was parked. "Uh, isn't Cole home?"
"No, Kaedie came and picked him up. I had told him there was the possibility I might have to work...” Her voice trailed off, not so much irritated, but disappointed.
My nosiness got the better of me and I couldn't resist. "Is Kaedie his girlfriend?"
"For now," Millie said, with a forced smile.
I don't know why my chest tightened, but it did.
Millie showed me Ryan's room, where he was fast asleep, then told me to help myself, though I hardly needed anything to eat or drink. All the same, after she left I opened the fridge, mainly out of curiosity. It was well stocked with a variety of juice, soda, wine, cheese and an abundance of strawberries.
I settled into the media room, where Millie had left the television on, and picked up the remote.
Ten minutes later I was still flicking channels, when the front door opened, causing my heart to leap out of my chest. I hadn't expected Millie to be that quick. It would be the easiest money I’d ever earned.
I jumped up, but the barrage of voices made me stop sharply. Millie wasn't back—Cole and his friends were.
In a panic, I wondered whether to reveal myself, or pull the door shut and hide. Would there be any need for them to come in here? Surely not. Anyway, if he was home, I could go.
The sound of the television and the lights alerted them to my presence. There I stood, in my SpongeBob pajama pants and bunny rabbit slippers, ruing the fact that I hadn't spent thirty seconds putting on my jeans, or five seconds to slip on my slides.
"What are you doing here?" The voice was full of denigration that seemed to shock even his friends. The two girls, both blonde and dressed for a night out, looked at him wide-eyed, while the boy frowned at him sideways.
"Uh, I'm just watching Ryan," I said, my hands in my pocket, pulling my hoodie around me to cover up my pajama top. "There was an emergency at your Mom's work and she had to dash out."
"An emergency?" He laughed harshly. "Is that what she called it?"
My heart was thumping. I had no idea what he was insinuating by that statement, and I didn't know where I stood, now that he was home.
"Uh, do you want me to go?" I asked.
His eyes cast down to my slippers, and a smirk reached his lips. "I might not be staying," he said, and the girl in the black, sequinned dress wrapped her arms around his neck, Kaedie, I presumed. Her ash blonde hair was done up in a loose twist bun, the epitome of sophistication, making me wish I hadn’t let Hayley braid my hair earlier. Her eyelash extensions were ultra long, like her nails, and her fake lips were plastered in a deep red color. It meant she hadn't kissed him. That was my most pressing thought—her perfect lipstick had not been kissed off by Cole's lips. For some inexplicable reason, this pleased me.
"Oh," I said, "okay." The boy and the other girl had gone to the kitchen, and Kaedie's fingers were working their way down the buttons on Cole's shirt. I turned to the television screen, dreading that they were going to stay and party. "Uh, I'll just stay in here
then. Out of your way."
Surprisingly, Cole pushed Kaedie's hand away, and he rebuttoned his shirt. "Get us some drinks," he said, and he waited till Kaedie had left before saying, "How long have you been here?"
“About fifteen minutes."
“Was Ryan asleep?"
"Yeah. I checked on him."
He looked at me in an unnerving way, his dark eyes searing me, and for a moment I got a glimpse of a boy concerned for his brother. "Hey," he said, his tone changing, becoming soft and normal, "thanks for coming over."
"Sure," I said, stunned by his show of gratitude, "you're welcome."
But I was brought back to earth in a thump when they all returned, Kaedie putting her arm around Cole’s waist. "Must suck to have nowhere to go on a Friday night,” he said, making them all laugh heartily.
I bit down on my lower lip, which was twitching on its own accord. I’d never encountered unwarranted bullying or even basic unkindness before and I could feel my fragility exposed. I wasn’t sure how to handle it.
“Did you want a drink, Selina?” Kaedie asked, though my suspicions were aroused that this was a trick question.
However, I didn’t get a chance to reply; Cole answered for me, "I doubt that Selina drinks. Unless you count communion wine."
They laughed again, Cole smug with the attention. I was given a moment where I had to make a flash decision. Speak up and defend myself. Or shrug it off and take the insult.
I teetered on the brink, about to open my mouth and tell them I'd had a beer at Damon's leaving party, when loud hip hop music suddenly blasted from a speaker.
I was saved from making a fool of myself in front of these kids. Let's face it, I was wearing pajamas and slippers, any admission of having tasted alcohol was not going to make me seem cool. These kids didn't care about me, Cole Parsons certainly didn't. They wouldn't remember who I was tomorrow. I'd hopefully never see them again. I didn't need to impress them.
I pulled the door shut and went back to the couch, hoping Ryan wouldn't wake up, and praying Millie would be home soon.
The music volume and the voices decreased and I presumed they had gone outside to the pool. I switched the channel to an emergency room medical show, but I couldn't fully relax, my body on full alert as I anticipated their return inside at any minute.
There was a roar of an engine revving up and the loud sound of thumping bass, which faded away with a screech of tires. I could imagine George being livid if he was still awake. Cole Parsons' driving left a lot to be desired. How did he ever pass his test?
Millie arrived home a short while later, her usually perfect hair looking a little unkempt and her eyeliner smudged.
“No sign of Cole?” she asked, as if she wasn’t expecting an answer in the affirmative. She poured herself a glass of red wine.
“He stopped by with his friends,” I said, making her raise her eyebrows. “Then he went out again.”
Millie checked her phone. “Yet, not one text.” She frowned, tutted, shook her head and sighed wearily. She took a long swig of her drink.
It wasn’t until I was back home, about to jump into bed, that I realized I’d left my charger behind.
The next morning, seeing my phone battery at a frighteningly low 3%, I went into panic mode. I could hardly run across to the neighbor's so early. Or could I?
Mom, Dad, Charlie and Hayley were leaving for their Little League games and I had my yoga class to get to. Hoping that Millie was out of bed, I skipped across the yard. There was no fear of running into Cole, doubtful he'd be up before nine on a weekend, if in fact he’d come home.
Millie answered the door wearing activewear, looking a whole lot brighter than the night before.
"Good morning, honey! Would you like a breakfast smoothie?" She lead me through to the kitchen, where Ryan, dressed in judo gear, was eating a huge bowl of cereal.
"Thanks, but I already ate. But it sure looks good," I said, eyeing the strawberries, bananas and mango she was chopping on the counter. ”I actually came for my charger. I left it here last night."
"Oh, go ahead," Millie said, nodding towards the media room.
Upon opening the door, I was brought to a standstill by the sight in front of me. Cole was on the couch shifting up onto his elbow, bleary-eyed, stretching his arms out to the side and behind his head, his defined upper body making me stare like a deer in headlights.
“Whaaat,” Cole slurred, as if I’d just woken him from a winter of hibernation.
“Ooops.” It was then that I noticed beside him, tucked under a beige blanket was Kaedie, her long hair fanning around her like a Nordic goddess.
It was five steps across to the outlet to unplug my charger, but right then it might as well have been on the moon. “Uh, sorry,” I mumbled, taking a step backward. “I-came-for-my-charger-but-I’ll-get-it-later-sorry.” I babbled out one long sentence, my heart rate considerably elevated from the sight of his bare chest and sleepy, hooded eyes. Seriously, who looked that good when waking up? And as for Kaedie, how was her hair not a matted bird’s nest?
“Whaaat?" He only now seemed to register where he was, and who I was. His brow furrowed and he blinked rapidly. "Selina?"
“I left my charger, sorry," I repeated, "I didn't know you were in here." Like I’d been struck by lightning, I bolted from the room and with a more forceful pull than I intended, slammed the door shut.
Millie looked up from her fruit, startled, as the bones of the house vibrated.
“Uh, Cole’s-in-there-I’ll-come-back-later-see-ya,” I said, not stopping for air or anything, as I ran back home.
My yoga class was a complete failure. I couldn’t clear my head, I couldn’t balance, I couldn’t even breathe.
As the teacher told us to absorb being in the present, I was an hour in the past remembering Cole Parsons next to his Sleeping Beauty. As we moved into downward dog position, I had the grace of a camel’s hump. When we all stood in tree pose, I was more like a sapling in the wind. When we were told to pay attention to our breath, I couldn't remember how to inhale.
My anxiety while driving was heightened by knowing my phone was completely dead. If I had a break down or an accident I would have no way of contacting anyone. I imagined myself having to abandon Doris and walk home. Or being driven away in an ambulance with no way of notifying Mom or Dad. I’d be that Jane Doe in the hospital bed. I didn’t know anybody’s phone number by heart, not even Mom’s. I had an amazing memory, but it wasn’t necessary to memorize numbers, other than your own. So I didn’t. I vowed to change this as soon as I got home.
Turning into the safety of our driveway, I cautiously inched forward, always fearful Cole’s big black vehicle was about to meet me head on.
"I wasn't sure if you'd be home for lunch," Mom greeted me as I came into the kitchen, plonking my workout bag down on the table. "You didn't answer my texts."
"Sorry. My phone died at yoga class." I opened the fridge and surveyed the juice selection. "How was tee-ball? Did Hayley win?"
Mom shook her head with a grimace. “No,” she whispered, “but she did kind of hit the ball. It fell off of the tee.”
I winced. Hayley had shown no athletic ability and was a reluctant tee-ball participant, but Mom and Dad encouraged her to be active. Charlie, on the other hand, showed signs of excellence in all the sports he’d tried, but he preferred gaming. He grudgingly swam and played baseball, but his heart wasn’t in it. He told us that professional gaming was a legitimate career choice these days. Mom and Dad disagreed.
I poured myself a glass of apple juice and sat down at the breakfast bar. Mom took a tray of sandwiches through into the living room. There was a tap on the door. I made no attempt to answer it, sure that Mom would be back in a second. The second knock was louder, more persistent. I swiveled on the stool and sighed in irritation as I presumed I'd have the job of rejecting some religious recruiters.
Instead, Cole Parsons stood there, filling the doorframe in splendid magnificence, his all-bl
ack tee, jeans and boots combo making my heart skip a beat.
“Oh,” I exclaimed, an unexpected surge of energy racing through me. “Uh...” Something about his tall, enigmatic presence inches in front of me sent my body into a weird, air-sucking vacuum, a lack of oxygen making me unable to breathe. I took a step backward, my stupid eyes not able to look away from him—held under the spell of his intense, smoldering stare. It felt like we were in a showdown in a wild west duel, that my honor would be lost if I looked away first.
He stepped closer, into my air space.
I gulped. “Uh, Ryan’s not here.”
“I know,” he said. “I brought this back.”
In my peripheral vision I saw his left hand raise. I couldn’t see it, but I assumed he held my charger. Silly me didn’t want to look away first, didn’t want to show weakness, didn't want to show emotion.
“Your charger,” he said, his lips almost curling upward. But it was as if he refused to let them, instead pursing them together tightly, his eyes narrowing.
“Oh, yeah, sorry I barged in on you this morning. I didn’t know you were in there.” My rambling tongue knew no limits. “And Kaedie. I didn’t know she was in there.”
Cool. Calm. Collected. Controlled.
Not at all.
I was ruffled, flustered and he was turning me into a blabbering fool.
“Millie said to go in and get it, so I’m sorry if I woke you. And interrupted you. Yeah. My bad, I guess.”
A smile flirted on his lips and for a moment he bared his teeth, but his voice was as hard as stone, unimpressed. “Here.” He offered the charger to me, his eyes looking down at it.
I inwardly rejoiced, a victory for me—he’d looked away first! Not that he knew we were in a competition.
“Thank you,” I said, taking it from him. I was caught off guard as our hands clasped together, sending a funny feeling through my whole body, scorching my already hot face. Was he radioactive?
“You’re welcome,” he said, robotic, toneless. But something in his eyes betrayed him. The tiniest flicker, a glint that revealed he wasn’t as dark, as distorted, as unaffected as he wanted me to think.
