by Kylie Key
"Sure," Cole said, and he gave her the bat, correcting her grip. "Now first, check your distance from the tee, and he showed her how to measure two steps across with her feet. He stood behind her with the bat over her shoulder, telling her to look only at the ball, not the field, not the bases, not the players—only the ball. Then, with his hands over hers, he went through the swing motion, shoulder to shoulder. They did that several times together, and then he made her do it by herself.
"Wow, you're a quick learner," he said, and Hayley smiled and poked her tongue out at me. "I reckon you're ready to hit it. Let's go through the steps again."
Hayley repeated everything Cole said, "Feet two steps from the plate, watch the ball, not the players, swing shoulder to shoulder."
And just like that, she hit it. The look of surprise on her face was priceless, as the ball flew across the lawn. I squealed and clapped. Hayley ran to get the ball, her face beaming.
"I dunno," Cole said, "I think you just got lucky. Bet you can't do it again."
"I bet I can," Hayley said. "What do you wanna bet?" Cole looked taken aback. "What are you gonna bet?" she demanded.
"I don't know," Cole shrugged, looking to me for help. "Um, candy?"
"Ice cream?" Hayley asked.
"Okay, ice cream." Cole shook hands with her and readjusted the ball on the stand. "How about, if you can hit three more, I have to take you and Selina for ice cream?"
My knees weakened and I nearly dropped to the ground in a heap. I scrambled to pick up my phone, I needed to video this for Mom, Dad and Charlie.
"You're on," Hayley said. They high fived each other like they were besties.
"Remember to go through your steps," Cole reminded her, and I could hear Hayley muttering to herself, going through the motions. Again, she struck the ball with precision. And again. And again. Three out of three.
Hayley cheered and Cole scooped her up and threw her in the air. She giggled her lungs out. My heart swelled with pride, and not only for Hayley learning a new skill, but for Cole—how effortlessly he'd done what George, me and two years of coaches hadn't been able to.
Cole Parsons had me more mystified than ever.
"Ice cream time!" Hayley shouted.
"Hey," I said, trying to calm her down, "why don't you go and get Cole a glass and a cookie so he can share our picnic? And get Dad, you can surprise him."
She skipped off, the happiest girl in the world. I told Cole how we'd already had ice cream earlier, so maybe he could rain check it for another time. Though I didn't want him to think he was obliged to follow through.
"A bet's a bet. We shook on it," he said staunchly.
Hayley returned with the cookie jar and a pink plastic unicorn cup. I cringed, but she poured him a drink and he sat down on the SpongeBob blanket next to me.
Dad walked out then, his eyes widening as he saw half-naked Cole sitting beside me. I tried, but couldn't, wipe the smile off of my face.
"Watch this, George." Hayley went through her routine, impressing me that she had remembered every little thing Cole taught her. She swung, full of confidence, and we watched the ball fly across the lawn.
Declaring that it wasn't a fluke, she did it three times, then said that was enough. Dad had tears in his eyes. He wanted to know Cole's secret.
"No secret," he said, "that's how my Dad taught me."
I felt an ache in my chest for him, knowing he was now estranged from his father, when Millie had said they'd been so close.
"I can see how getting her to say it out loud helps," Dad said, getting analytical about it. "She's always talking to herself."
"And Cole's left handed as well," I added, both of us trying to justify our own poor coaching methods.
"Yes, of course," Dad said, like that was the defining reason. "Well, Hayley, you'll be the star next week. You'll have to get Cole to come and watch."
If I hadn't been sitting down, I would have fallen down. Did Dad just ask Cole to come to Hayley's tee-ball game?
Cole smiled and nodded, like he was in disbelief, too. Surely, somewhere along the line he'd heard Dad grumbling about his driving, or his noisy parties, either directly over the fence or relayed from his mother.
"Can you, Cole?" Hayley said.
"I'll try," Cole said kindly, and Hayley cheered, but Dad and I could see it was a diplomatic answer. No one could really expect Cole Parsons to go to a kids' tee-ball game, why, he hadn't even gone to his own brother's judo tournament.
Though, that had been a month ago, when he'd been drinking. Alcohol free Cole seemed to be a whole different person.
Dad, thankfully, went back inside and I imagined Cole would be keen to get back to whatever he'd been doing until a baseball fell into his backyard. But he leaned back on the blanket, stretching out his long, tanned legs.
"Are you doing the long walk tomorrow?" he asked.
"Yep." I nodded. Dominique had organized a 15 mile walk, and in a crazy way I was looking forward to it, not so much the physical punishment to my body, but the mental challenge it presented. "Though I've only just recovered from last week's."
Cole laughed. "So, when will we go for ice cream?”
“Tomorrow,” Hayley squealed.
“Okay, tomorrow it is. In the afternoon.”
“Promise?” Hayley asked
"Promise," Cole said, getting up to leave, "it's a date."
My heart skipped a beat at his words, but as he high fived Hayley, I had to remind myself it was a date for ice cream with my little sister.
CHAPTER 13
Our walk time was an estimated five hours, so we met at eight o'clock, our route in the opposite direction from the previous week. I had a foolish fantasy that Cole would want to walk with me, but after a wave of acknowledgment, he joined his Mom and the faster walkers in the front of the group. Ferne wasn't walking today, her shins still hurting, so I walked with Ella and Trieste. Ainsley couldn't make it again, but Logan, Garrett and Ethan were there. All three were athletes, Logan and Garrett swam and played water polo, and Ethan played tennis and soccer, so they had no fitness issues. We talked about school stuff, teachers, classmates and prom and graduation, so the time passed quickly and before we knew it, we were almost at the finish.
Logan made us walk faster than the previous week, so we're weren't too far behind the lead group. I had visions of catching up with Cole and seeing if he could give a hint about where we'd go for ice cream, and to tell him how excited Hayley was, and how she'd gone outside—on her own accord—and hit three balls off of the tee stand.
I grabbed a banana, ready to approach, when he jogged off to a parked car. A silver Mercedes. My heart sunk, it was Kaedie's car. I watched as he sat in the passenger seat, the door left open for a few seconds as they appeared to be talking, and then he pulled it shut and they drove off.
It was silly how disappointed I felt, after all, she was his girlfriend, and our ice cream date wasn't a date at all, just next door neighbors going out for a treat. Logan invited us back to his place for a swim, and it sounded tempting, but I didn't want to inconvenience anyone, least of all Cole, when he came to get Hayley and me later.
I showered and put my feet up, declining Millie's invitation to the hot tub. I laid on Hayley's bed, while she played with her toys and every half hour asked, "When are we going?" "When is he coming?"
Two o'clock. "He's probably having a late lunch. We did go for a big walk."
Three o'clock. "Probably soon," I said.
Four o'clock. "He won't be long."
Five o'clock. "He'll probably take us out for dessert."
Six o'clock. "Don't eat too much dinner, he'll be here soon."
Seven o'clock. I helped Hayley into her pajamas, knowing he wasn't coming.
"He might be tired from the walk," I said, "it was tough out there."
"But you're all right?"
"Yeah, but Mom isn't." Mom had a sore heel, she said it felt like she'd stood on a stone. "He might have an injury too."
I nodded. I'd sent one text at four o'clock: Hey, are we still going for ice cream today?
There had been no reply, so was I supposed to presume his phone had died, or he didn't have it with him? Or was he preoccupied with Kaedie? The latter seemed most likely.
I told Hayley that it didn't matter, that the two of us would go one day after school, but inside I was fuming that he had demonstrated no courtesy in letting us know.
A simple text, or phone call was all it took to stop a little girl's heart from breaking.
I'd gone to bed early myself, thoroughly annoyed by Cole's uncaring behavior. The boy was an anomaly, one minute cold as ice, the next as nice as pie, and then back to be being a jerk. Okay, he might have a few issues in his life, but who didn't? And it was unforgivable to let down a seven year old, especially on a bet she had won.
My phone rang on the nightstand and my heart started to race. A glance across revealed it was indeed him. Did I want to hear his sob story, his plea for forgiveness?
No, I didn't.
I let it ring and ring, tossing and turning as if that would make it stop.
A few minutes later, there was a knock on my door.
"I'm asleep," I called.
Dad put his hand around the wall and flicked on the light switch. "There's someone to see you," he said in a resigned tone.
"I'm asleep," I said, pulling my covers up to my chin.
"If you don't come out, I'm gonna come right on in," Cole's voice resounded out behind Dad, making me sit up in an instant. I didn't want Cole Parsons in my room! I didn't want him to see my pink walls and butterfly lampshade, my boy band posters and the SpongeBob pillow I was clutching.
Too late...he barged past Dad, stopping in the doorframe.
"Five minutes," Dad commanded, "it's a school night."
Cole nodded. He took a step forward, he was still wearing his running shorts and sneakers from this morning, though he had a jacket over his tank top. His cap was on frontwards.
"Hey," he said. "I'm so, so sorry. I really am. I tried to get in touch earlier, but-"
"You've always got an excuse," I said calmly.
Cole shook his head, disgusted with himself. "Yeah, I messed up again. But Kaedie picked me up and drove us up to her family's cabin and there's no service up there-"
"Stop, Cole," I said. Did he think I was stupid? We weren't in the middle of the Sahara Desert. If there was no service at the cabin, there was certainly some on the freeway home. "I think that's the excuse you used last time, with Ryan."
"Selina, I'm telling the-"
"You broke a little girl's heart," I said, my heart threatening to thump right out of my chest, "Hayley was so excited about going for ice cream, but you couldn't even text to let us know."
He was silent, his shoulders slumped, his eyes tortured.
"I promise I'll make it up to her," he said, "I will."
"Turn the light off and close the door please," I said, and with that I slid back under the covers.
COLE
How many chances does a person deserve?
Dad got two.
He blew it.
And now I'd done the same.
And worse, to the one person who had become a light, a spark in the deep, dark funnel of my mind.
Of course she never knew. Never knew that just seeing her made my adrenaline kick in, a combustible reaction that set me on fire. I doused it, though. Selina Harris-Brown was too sweet, too kind, too innocent for someone like me. Her life was school clubs, trips to the mall, manicures and hair braids. She didn't drink, didn't party, didn't date, yet I was intrigued by her. More than intrigued.
I loved that she had loyal friends, that she'd walk a marathon with them, even with a broken arm. I loved how protective she was of her brother and sister, and my younger brother. I loved that she wore SpongeBob pajamas.
And I loved how she forgave me when I first messed up.
Yeah.
Anger had seeped in. It got under my skin and then it tore at my flesh and invaded my bones. I succumbed, driving on a road to self destruction, alcohol my escape from the harsh, cruel realities of my life.
Drama llama, you might say, (Hayley definitely would).
Rich boy. Divorced parents. A loss of status. A million dollar house—not a multi-million dollar house, five bedrooms and not seven—yeah, my life was so tough.
Get over it.
The wake up call was Ryan's accident. And not only Ryan, but Selina and Charlie, too. Good people caught up in the histrionics of our lives, our inability to make things work on a day to day basis, floundering instead of flourishing, cowering instead of finding courage.
She gave us the light, the motivation to be better, the determination to get back on track. To chase my sporting dreams. Walk a marathon, she said, for charity, for burns survivors whose lives have been wrecked and torn apart.
And she brought Mom and me together. Instead of fighting each other, hating, bearing grudges, hiding behind alcohol, we were united in our common goal for those less fortunate than ourselves. I didn't want to be, as my mother had said, insolent and intolerable.
I knew what I needed to do, and that was to break up with Kaedie. After the accident, I did. Kaedie was pretty and fun and wild and passionate, but she never made my heart soar, she never made me care.
Not like Selina.
After the walk I wanted to drive home quickly, shower and be waiting in the hot tub for when Selina and her Mom returned. Then I was going to whisk Hayley and Selina to an ice cream shop in The Hills. It was fancy and pretentious, but they did the best Black Forest ice cream sundaes. I wanted to be the one to take them there, to introduce them to the finest ice cream in the city. I wanted to be their hero.
Funny how something as simple as teaching a young girl to hit a tee ball can send you into a state of euphoria, of accomplishment. Ironic that it's the same way your lying, deceiving, cheating Dad showed you. Your dad, who you hate for his abominable actions, but who you love for all the right reasons. Because he raised you, nurtured you, loved you, cared for you, coached you how to hit a baseball, how to kick a soccer ball.
Kaedie's silver car and waving arms were impossible to ignore. She signaled me over to the open door.
"Hey, thought I'd find you here," she said.
"What is it?" I bent down, peering in.
"There's trouble. Brody needs you," she said, rushed, agitated. "Get in."
"What happened?" I didn't hesitate. Brody was my best friend. She started the car before I had even buckled myself in. "Where are we going?" I checked my phone. There were no messages from him, no missed calls. "He hasn't tried to call."
"Why are you hanging out with your mother?" She said the word like it was poison.
"What?" I dialed Brody's number.
"And those kids from the high school?"
"Where's Brody?" I asked, his phone going straight to voicemail, voicemail that he never used. "Kaedie, what's going on?"
"Me and you are going for a drive," she said, as she entered the freeway too fast. Too fast for me to jump out, because that's what I was seriously considering. I searched my contacts, about to call Mom. "Don't call anyone," she screeched, and then in a strangely melodic tone, "Please don't call anyone, Cole." She smiled sweetly, demanding I hand my phone to her. I did; my heart heavy, my chest heavy, my legs heavy.
Something was seriously wrong here. My ex-girlfriend, I feared, was a psycho.
Though I had visions of her driving us off of a cliff into the ocean, or taking a wrong lane on to oncoming traffic, it turned out to be not quite so dramatic. She drove me to her family's cabin where a bunch of our friends were hanging out. It was a surprise party for my selection into the U18/19 soccer development academy. Mom and Brody were the only ones who knew about it, and I didn’t think it warranted celebratory status until I’d signed the dotted line; even Dad hadn’t been told yet. My friends disagreed. Kaedie, though now my ex, was fier
cely proud.
"Oh man, I thought it was revenge of the ex-girlfriend." I could laugh about it now, now that I was safe with my friends, drinking a beer. It had been twenty four days without alcohol, and on a whim, on an unthinking whim, I was back to day zero.
I was disappointed with myself, but I was celebrating, I was with my friends, I deserved to party.
"Guess what, ex-boyfriend?" she said, with a flirty giggle, "I got into acting school. I'm going to New York!" She broke into song about dreams coming true in New York.
"Really? That's great." And I meant it.
"Did I scare you?"
"You terrified me!”
“Pretty good acting, huh?”
“Oscar worthy. But I could have you up for kidnapping!”
"Cole?"
"Yeah?"
"I want you to be happy," she said, sitting beside me, her hands holding mine. "I know things have been hard for you, and you've been a terrible, lousy boyfriend." She laughed as I grimaced; the truth hurt. "But you were right to break up with me. I’ve seen glimpses of change, of the old Cole, since your brother's accident. You gotta find him again. Old Cole."
"Old Cole?" I laughed.
"Yeah," she said. "Old Cole broke all the girls’ hearts because he was so sweet and swoony. He had dreams and ambition and focus. It’s good to see that coming back.”
"New Cole?"
"New Cole has been a jerk."
Two drinks made me light-headed, and tired, and not having a proper lunch and having walked fifteen miles, I dozed off on the couch. Next thing, I was being shaken awake and Brody was urging me to stand.
“Time to go home, bro,” he said.
“What time is it?”
“Just after eight. Let’s get you home. You stink.” He handed me his jacket. He was right. I hadn’t showered since the walk, and I was in the same sweaty clothes.
“You should’ve woken me, man,” I said, my head finding some equilibrium. Then I howled, “8 o’clock? Are you serious? Oh, man.”
“Don’t stress,” Brody said, “I’ll have you home in an hour. Less than an hour.”
