by Rosa Swann
Fuck. I lean back a little but don’t let go of him, it’s getting more and more impossible to ignore him, the way he makes me feel. But for now, for a moment, I need this connection, this connection of humanity, not of animalistic urges.
Sterling licks his lips, looking down, shielding his eyes from me with his hair. There is nothing I want more than for him to look up at me again because looking away never turns out well. “Wild.” His breath hitches. “This is all so confusing, and I’m sorry if I’m only making it worse like this. Everything only gets worse because of me.”
“It’s okay. I know it’s confusing. I know.” I run my hand up his arm, touching him softly, looking at him as I try to come up with my next move.
But I don’t have to do anything, Sterling grabs both of my hands and holds them, looking back up at me. “I want you to hold me.”
“Is this one of those heat things or just a comfort thing?” It feels like I’m once again asking the exact same questions. And maybe I am, but I’m just not going to take any liberties.
“Both, but comfort right now.”
“Okay.” I slide my arms around him, pulling him against me, and he puts his head on my shoulder, leaning into me. I slowly sway side to side, there is no music, but we move like one, like we’re listening to the exact same song, and maybe, just maybe, we are. Maybe there is something in us that connects because we both connected to Logan in the past.
Sterling moves a little, his lips against my neck, kissing me softly.
A shudder goes through me, but it’s nice, it’s a little different. “Star...” I whisper, my voice is hoarse as I move my hands down, grabbing his ass in two hands, pulling us closer and rubbing us together.
“Hmm, hmm.” Sterling kisses his way up my neck and over my jaw before he meets my eyes.
“Maybe we should move to a different space?” I don’t think doing him here in the kitchen is the best idea.
“Where?” He’s not letting go, but I’ve got his attention.
“Your bedroom is out of the question.” I’m not going there, I’m not stupid.
Sterling nods, swallowing hard as he pulls his lip between his teeth.
“Would the guest room be better?” I put my fingers under his chin. “Better decide now while we’ve still got control, if your heat rises more, we will probably end up like last night again.”
He rubs his cheek against my hand. “Yeah, the guest room will be okay.”
I see that I’m losing him, even if just a little, he’s going back into his head. I grab him under his ass, lifting him up.
“Wait! What?” Sterling’s voice pitches and he wraps his legs around me. “I can walk, you know.”
“Yeah, but I can lift you and rub up against you at the same time like this.” I start walking carefully to the guest room, every time I feel him lose his focus on me I push against him more or squeeze his ass, anything to keep his mind on me. Right in front of the guest room, I put him down to open the door. He sways on his feet for a moment and then stays still as I walk into the room.
His eyes flit around the room, and I take his hand, pulling slightly.
“It’s fine. Come on in.” He follows me to the middle of the small room.
“It’s just... I never come in here... It’s filled with Logan’s past, and some of my own.” He rubs his hands over his arms, pulling in on himself.
I step past him to close the door, then I wrap my arms around him from behind, holding him tight. “For now, it’s filled with you and me. I can turn the light off if you want me to?”
Sterling shakes his head. “It’s fine.” He leans back against me, then turns his head, his lips close to mine.
I close the distance between our lips and softly push our mouths together, he tastes so good. I don’t think I’d ever get tired of kissing him, not ever.
Sterling slides his tongue along my lips, and I meet his with mine, sliding together, the connection strong and he covers my hands with his, holding on. When he pulls back a little, his breathing comes out fast and shallow. “Fuck. Sexy.” He turns in my arms, our crotches pushing against each other. “I want you. I need you. Please.”
I slide my hands down, pushing them under the back of his shirt, touching his naked back, his soft skin. He feels so good in my hands. I grab the edge of the shirt and pull it off, quickly taking his lips in a kiss as I push close, I need to be close to him. I’m not sure if it’s just my brain or if it’s his heat that makes me want to do this. But I don’t care right now. I want him.
Sterling moans into my mouth as he rubs up against me, his body lithe but quite strong too.
I slide my fingers into the waistband of his jeans as he grabs onto me, his hands on my naked back. He feels so good. Everywhere he touches me, I feel my body heat up more and more.
I move one of my hands to the front, rubbing over his excitement as he rolls his hips against me.
He pulls back from the kiss, looking up at me, his eyes hazy, he runs his tongue over his lips before he pulls his lower lip between his teeth and his eyes slide down my body. He reaches for the button on my jeans, but I grab his hands.
“I’ve got a better idea.” I open his jeans and pull them down before I lift him again and put him on the bed. Once there, I climb over him, hover over him, so I can touch him everywhere, so I can comfort him and make him feel good.
I start by kissing his chest, taking a detour and taking his nipple into my mouth, sucking on it before I softly graze my teeth over the little nub.
Sterling bucks up into me, gasping as he reaches for me, touching me in return.
I slide one hand down, covering his cotton-clad excitement and rub while I keep kissing and nibbling his chest, moving down more and more.
“Wild...” His voice is hoarse, and I can hear how much he needs.
Without answering I stand up and quickly undress, my own excitement more obvious than ever. I kneel close, taking both our dicks in one hand and start tugging slowly. With every stroke, Sterling gasps and moans under me, his beautiful eyes closed and his mouth slightly open. Fuck, he’s hot when he’s like this. I lean back, taking in the way he looks, the way he lies there, totally at my mercy.
“Fuck me. Please.” He reaches out to me, wanting to touch me. But I’m not sure I want that just yet.
5. Sterling
It’s not like I have any self-control left at the moment. I want this man, I need him, not just physically, but I feel like I need him emotionally too. Like I can’t think straight without him touching me like there is just too much wrong for me to be able to deal with this on my own.
“Almost.” Wilder meets my eyes and, fuck me if that doesn’t nearly make me come already. That sharp gaze connects with something inside me, something that needs this to be with him, with Wilder.
I try to move with him, against him, anything to make him make me feel things. When he comes closer again, I’m not sure about what I really want, but I want him to touch me. I reach down between us, touching him where our bodies meet, wrapping my hand around him, around myself. My hands are smaller than Wilder’s, but the look in his eyes tells me that that doesn’t matter, that it’s okay, that it’s just as good.
Wilder leans over and kisses me, still jacking the both of us off, but also kissing me, touching me and then his hand slides to my hip, holding there for a moment before he moves down, sliding his fingers over the inside of my thigh and then lower. Touching, caressing. His finger sliding just over and along my entrance, not breaching, not anything, just teasing and touching.
I try to move my hips, try to move so that he’ll be touching me better, but he just keeps teasing. “Wild...” I wrap my arms around him. “Please...”
He looks down at me, a wicked smile on his lips and his eyes dark with lust. Without notice, he enters me with one finger, taking my breath away, making me see stars, making everything so hot.
I tighten my grip on him, my breathing hard and I try to not get overwhelmed. Then he slides in a s
econd finger, the pressure rising and everything getting more and more intense. He touches something inside me, and I fight not to come right then. Fuck.
“Hmm, that seems like a good place.” Wilder murmurs and nibbles along my neck when he touches me in the same spot again.
The world goes off a little, just for a moment, the sensation too intense. “Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Wild. For fuck’s sake. Just fuck me.” All bets are off now, I don’t have any way to keep myself sane anymore, now it’s just a combination of lust, heat and animalistic instinct.
“As you wish.” Wilder grabs the back of my knees and pulls my legs up, giving him better access to everything. Wait, what?
He pushes my legs upwards, and I grab hold of them, keeping them there, so he won’t squash me. Then his fingers are on my ass again, touching me, making me feel things before I feel the blunt head of his cock against my entrance.
Finally!
Wilder meets my eyes, keeps them locked on me, as, with a roll of his hips, he slides inside a little.
A moan escapes me, his cock so much bigger than his fingers, and so, so much better.
Then he rolls his hips more, pushing inside me, filling me, just a little, bit by bit. He’s taking me, mind, body and spirit, tonight.
He keeps sliding in, deeper and deeper, until he’s filled me fully, and his hips are pushing against my ass. Oh. Damn. Full.
I didn’t realise it much last night, but Wilder isn’t very small in that department. Far from it even. Damn.
I let go of my legs, and Wilder slides them around his hips, then he holds me tight and pulls me up, making me sit in his lap, making me face him as he fucks me. He keeps holding me close, my cock moving between us and I slide my hand around myself, not wanting to come just yet.
“Fuck, you’re so good.” His whisper is thick and makes me shiver for a moment. Then he pushes into me harder, sliding in and out.
I take his lips in a hard kiss, our mouths and teeth clashing, our breaths mingling. I hold onto him tightly, but I know that I won’t be able to do this much longer, he’s just too good, too sexy, too intense.
I slide my head to his shoulder, resting there as I wrap my fingers around myself tighter, jacking off.
Suddenly a surge goes through me as Wilder licks the mark he left behind yesterday, the bandage must have come off at some point since we started all this. His lips and tongue are hot on my mark, on the skin there.
“I’m coming.” I’m able to push the words out before actually coming, which is a surprise at the speed this is happening.
“Come for me.” Wilder’s lips are close to my ear and his breath is hot on my skin.
He snaps his hips one last time before he comes, his dick inside me pulsing, coating me on the inside, pushing me over the edge and making me see stars. Fuck. I gasp for breath, trying to not let the inevitable happen. But it’s no use, with a long moan I spill in the space between us, covering us both and making us sticky.
Wilder holds me, our breaths harsh, our bodies still caught up in all the pleasure. Then, when we both come down from the high, he slowly slides out of me and lays me down on the bed. He carefully curls up behind me, spooning me tightly as he pulls the blanket over us.
Now everything is over, the buzzing in my body is giving me more courage than normal. While my heat is subsiding and making thinking a little easier, a thought comes in my head. “Have you ever had sex with an Omega before?”
“Hm?” Wilder hums against the back of my neck, I’m not sure if he’s already nearly asleep or if he simply doesn’t want to answer.
“Before me, have you ever?” I’m curling up on myself a little, I’m not sure why his answer would matter that much really.
“No. I’ve only had an Alpha mate.” His voice is careful like he doesn’t want to fully answer. Why does that answer make me feel relieved?
“You’ve never been interested?”
This stops him for a moment. “I... I never really considered it.”
“Never... what?”
“I’ve never thought about finding an Omega. I was happy with work. I had a home.” His answers get less and less sure like I’m asking things that I shouldn’t be asking.
He was willing to stay alone for the rest of his life? “You never... never... How old were you when you lost your mate?”
“Twenty-five.”
“I was... I was twenty-five when I met Logan.” I can’t imagine having to be alone after losing my mate. I can’t even be alone for days, and I’ve had a relationship not even as long as theirs. “How did you do it?”
“Do what?” His arms around me tighten.
“Be alone for that long.” I don’t get it, I don’t get how he did it.
“I worked. First to avoid having to think about it all, then because that was all I knew anymore, and now. It’s my job. I work, I come home, I relax. I sometimes go and do fun stuff.” I feel him shrug. “You’ll get there. At some point. Don’t worry.”
I do worry. No matter what he thinks, no matter what I feel. Wilder mated me, which means we’re now connected. But I also know that even if I wanted, I wouldn’t be able to do this right now. Maybe at some point in the future, maybe never, but I can’t just move from Logan to Wilder without some proper time to myself. That just isn’t possible.
“Hey, go to sleep. We’ll talk again in the morning.” His voice is slowing down, so is his breathing.
But there is one last thing that I want to know, just to make sure. “Am I your first Omega?”
“Wha—? Yes. Now sleep.” He pulls me tight, and I feel him relax against me.
Something, a little fire, sparks inside me. I may not be his first mate, but at least I’m his first Omega. That’s got to count for something, right? I cover his hands with mine and hold on. I guess I can live like this for now.
Sleep quickly overtakes me, giving me dreams full of sheep and chickens and our garden, and happiness and other good things. I’m not exactly sure anymore what they are, but I do remember that for the first time in over a week, I finally slept soundly. Something that I just wasn’t able to do anymore.
The next morning I’m up early. The sun is still not fully risen, but I slide out of Wilder’s grasp. My body heats up a little as I look at him, laying in the bed. He looks handsome when he isn’t worrying about everything. He looks so much younger, maybe almost even younger than Logan did. But even looking at him now, he does remind me of Logan a little. Logan used to have that same worried look on his face when we just met. Like the world was on his shoulders and he just didn’t know how to keep on living like that. The first few months when I just met him, no, even the year or so after we mated, he’d always look like he was in pain. Like there was something on his mind that made him unhappy. As time went on after Maddy was born, that eased, but even after being together for eight years, it just seemed to come up in him sometimes, that pain. Just randomly, he’d lock himself in his study for days, such a deep pain in his eyes, and then he’d come out, all back to normal.
I quietly leave the room and close the door behind me, it’s a little weird, sleeping in that room. Logan and I actually slept in there way back when we just moved into this place. We were redoing the upstairs, so we had to sleep down here, and since the other room was already his office, this was our only place. I go up the stairs, quickly changing into some overalls and a warm shirt and then I make my way over to the kitchen. Everything seems to be fine here, which is a slight wonder after the way Wilder and I reacted to each other. I guess that this being my third day being in heat, everything will cool down a little, make it all less busy in my head, making my body a little stronger again.
I pull on my rain boots and walk down the garden path, everything is still growing as it should, though taking a day off working in here shouldn’t have much of an effect anyway. I walk to the back of the garden and fill a bucket up with grains and other things for the sheep. I go back past the chicken, who start clucking at me.
“Yes, yes.
I’ll be with you in a moment. First I gotta do the others.” I look at the beautiful hens who’re all waiting impatiently. The sheep are very loud and excited as I near their pen, I love seeing them like this, all running around and the lambs still young. I step over the fence and put the feed into the rearing trough. I look at them as the balls of fluff start pushing against each other and me to get to the food. They’re so funny to watch, and their sounds make me happy, listening to them all side by side. We’ve gotten a decent sized flock by now, and I’ll have to think about what to do with the lambs in a couple of months. But that’s not a priority right now, luckily.
I climb back over the fence, taking one look back at the flock, and go back to the shed, to grab food for the chickens. I step into the pen, and the ladies and gent all come close, waiting for the food. I scatter it around, and they start eating quickly, always so happy for food. I leave them all to eat and check the nesting boxes, most of the hens have left us eggs, which is always lovely. As I put them in a carton, I know that I’ll need to get back to the farmers’ market next week, there have been so many eggs lately, and not going this week really means that we’re running low on space in our storage at the moment. And there are only so many ways in which to eat eggs. I smile, yeah, trying to eat them all got old really fast and that was just with two of them, we’re now up to about ten.
I take a stroll around the garden, feeding the rabbits, checking on some of the veggies and fruits and then, finally, I make my way back into the kitchen. Which is still empty, Wilder and Maddy are apparently not awake yet. I put the eggs away and grab my notebook. Well, it will give me some time to plan out the things I’ll need to take to the farmers’ market, at least now I’ve got time to myself and my own thoughts.
