by Rosa Swann
I follow him, not resisting, not doing anything else. I know that Sterling has had at least a little time to get used to the idea of becoming a father again, but it’s all a little too new for me, especially on top of everything else.
Sterling strips me, nothing sexual, nothing sensual, just efficiency. “Get in the bed.”
I climb in, and Sterling slides in beside me, curling up so I can spoon him. I wrap my arms around him, holding onto him tightly, and even though I thought I wouldn’t be able to fall asleep, especially not after today. I’m out like a light.
* * *
When I get to work the next day, I’m still not fully back to normal, still a little off from all the things that happened yesterday. But I can’t call in sick right now, we’ve got a meeting on the project later today, and I need to get some things finished before then.
“Wilder.” A guy from HR comes over as soon as I sit down.
“Morning.” Daniel is the one who has taken care of getting a someone to do the coding side of the work for Sterling. “What’s up?”
“The contract with the coder will run out at the end of the month. I know I’m supposed to talk to the client about this, but I wanted to check in with you first. Did you hear anything about it?”
“Yeah. I spoke to the client. Did you have someone else in mind yet? I know that their system is a pretty common one.” I’m trained in it and use it a lot, and so do most people on this floor.
“I was thinking that maybe you could take over? I know your current project should end soon and it would be a good fit.”
“Me?” I hadn’t thought of that yet, especially not with everything going on. The whole reason I wanted to get someone else to do the coding for Sterling was because I wanted to try and stay away as far from him as possible... Not to get close to him... But now... I’m not sure what to say. After seeing Sterling yesterday, everything has changed. Not just because of Logan’s will, but also the baby... Crap.
“Wilder?” He keeps looking at me. “Something wrong?”
I shake my head. “No. Just thinking. When do you need my answer?”
“Preferably, as soon as possible.”
“Would tomorrow be okay?” It’s not like this should be that pressing, right?
“Sure. Just don’t forget. If you don’t take it on, I’ll have to find someone else, and also find a new project for you.” He shrugs. “Good luck today, I’ve heard that the meeting may be rough... I’ve got other people to bug about assignments.” He walks down the hallway to some other poor guy he has to get in line.
Would really taking over half Logan’s company be a good thing, would this be right to do? I know I can’t just decide on my own, I’ll need to talk to Sterling too. The will said that half the company is now mine, but that doesn’t mean that Sterling would want to work together on it. And it also doesn’t mean that it would be a good fit for the both of us. Arg.
I take a look at my schedule, and send an email off to HR about my number of vacation days. They should probably know how many days I have left and when my contract for this project exactly ends. It would be an ass move to pull out immediately, but at the same time, I’m not sure if I’d be able to work here if I’m also the owner of a company. Especially not if it means I’d have to hire someone to do the work that I know perfectly well how to do myself, the work someone else is paying me to do for their company... Somewhere in my mind, I can’t help the feeling that Logan planned this. That none of this was by chance, at least not the part where he starts his own company, something that has always been my dream, or was, until I stopped dreaming. Why was he following my dream when he would have been able to support his family so much easier with a job as a software engineer? Logan was never interested in being independent, was he?
Now I want to talk to Sterling, I want to ask him about all of this, about what we’re going to do. This morning wasn’t easy, very awkward even, especially when I found him hunched over the sink when I walked into the kitchen. He pretended like everything was normal, but, you know, a guy gets a scare finding his mate like that.
But also, he now knows so many things about me that I’ve never told anyone before, so many things that are part of my life that I don’t tell people about. Because, why would I? Why would I make my own life harder by outing myself as an Alpha who is mated by another Alpha? I know Sterling was sort of fine with it, he was probably more fine with it when he didn’t know yet that my Alpha is also his Alpha. But still, he seems to be handling it well, even if I probably wouldn’t have.
Though, in keeping my past with Logan a secret, I’m not sure that he’s really realised the little half-truths I’ve told him the week that I stayed with them. How often I had to keep my mouth shut so I wouldn’t out myself. Ugh. There is just something so annoying, something so confusing about all of this. There will be many moments where I’ll have to admit to secrets that I’ve kept. But at least the biggest one is now out of the way.
Thanks, Logan. Like me meeting your mate at your funeral wasn’t weird enough... Now you’ve forced us together with your will way before we may be ready to take that step on our own...
But would I have wanted that he kept me out of his will? Would I? Especially knowing that because of the will, I may be able to protect Sterling and Maddy in ways that I could never protect Logan?
6. Sterling
Returning to an empty house after dropping Maddy off at school hasn’t gotten any easier. It’s still weird. The total silence, the way that nothing moves. When Logan was working, he’d often have some music on in his office, or at least I’d hear the sound of his typing. The click-clack-click-clack-click-clack sound of his mechanical keyboard so familiar, almost as familiar as the sounds of the animals outside.
I put my jacket on the hooks by the door and make my way to the kitchen, Wilder won’t be home until dinner, and I’ll need to pick up Maddy around three. That will give me all day to prepare for tomorrow’s farmers’ market and get some work done for Logan’s company... Wilder and my company? Ehh... It’s still weird to not think of it as Logan’s company, but I guess I’ll have to get used to that at some point... probably. Why is this so hard? I’d just gotten a little used to having to deal with all of this on my own, and now Wilder’s back.
“Logan, what the hell did you do to us?” I curse and change into my outside clothes in the utility room, no use getting my other clothes dirty from working in the garden. Cleaning mud out of clothes I’d normally wear outside is not worth it.
I look around, the garden has finally come into full swing, more and more vegetables, herbs and fruits are starting to grow instead of just the cabbages and kale and other ones that survive or even almost thrive during winter. I like it when my stand at the market is mostly full of fresh vegetables and fruit instead of all the pickled and bottled ones. It makes everything look so much nicer and more appealing, but I know that it’s simply not possible to keep growing and selling so many vegetables all year round. We’ve been meaning to set up a greenhouse so we can grow some more veggies and year-round, but it just hasn’t happened yet. One of those ‘next year’ projects that never seem to really get done. I get to work on the garden, trying to forget everything else, this is just for me, this is the one thing I love to do above all.
Time flies, and before I know it, my phone alarm goes off, signalling that I need to get something to eat, change into my clean clothes, and then pick up Maddy from school. I guess just getting lost in all of this instead of dealing with the outside world is so much easier, so much more comfortable.
I wonder how everything will fit in, what my days will look like with Wilder living here and working. One of the advantages of Logan always being at home was that he could pick up Maddy when needed instead of me having to do it all the time. It allowed a little more freedom to work for both of us. But with Wilder... He works from the office often apparently, and that means no extra person at the house for the little things. I sigh as I clean my hands under the tap,
we’ll figure it out, sooner or later. We’ll have to if we’re going to make this work.
Picking up Maddy is the same as ever, apart from the disappointed look in her eyes when she sees it’s just me. Well, I can’t take Wilder with me every day, but I guess she would have liked it if I did. On our way back we drop by the grocery store to get some dinner, and when we arrive home, Wilder’s car is already in the driveway. He’s waiting in the doorway as we get out of the car and as I grab the bags from the back of the car, he comes over, standing close.
“Want me to carry anything?” He holds out his hands, and I give him two heavy bags to take inside. Then I grab the final bag and close the trunk. But Wilder is still standing there.
“What?” I look up at him but then avert my eyes as his gaze is too intense.
“Nothing much, just looking at you.” There is something in his voice that makes heat pool in my stomach.
“Why?”
“Don’t know. You look good.” He gives me a quick kiss on my cheek and then he turns around and walks away with the bags.
Leaving me behind, blushing and blabbering. What the? That guy’s got some nerve! I shake my head, cursing at him as I try to calm myself down again. This isn’t what we’re supposed to be doing, we’re not supposed to be flirting, especially out in the open where people can see, but hearing him say those words... it’s still nice.
When I get to the kitchen, Wilder is already unpacking the bags. “Hey, what were you planning on making for dinner?”
I appreciate him doing this, but I still shake my head. “I’m cooking today. You just have to wait and see.”
“Awwwh, that’s mean.” Wilder play-pouts but then sits down at the table. “Are you going to tell me anyway?”
“Sure. Fine.” I roll my eyes a little at him, and he laughs, which gives me, even more, butterflies in my stomach. No matter what happened, no matter the way we met, he makes me feel things I thought I’d never experience again. Dammit.
* * *
I push myself off the couch, stretching, and I can almost feel Wilder’s eyes on me, like a touch. “I’m going to take a shower, don’t want to get all the dirt from the garden in the bed.” I smile, but it nearly falters as Wilder looks at me. “What?”
“I could come join you, make sure you’re clean.” His voice is low, sexy, making me blush, and even a little excited.
“You sure you won’t make me dirtier?” I’m a surprised by my own boldness.
“Does it matter?” Wilder stands up, stepping close, then he wraps one arm around me. “Does it?”
I shake my head, unable to answer him properly. Fuck, having him so close... it does all sorts of things to my body, making me excited even though he’s just standing there. “But what about...” I’m not even sure what I want to ask. What about what happened last night? What about him finding me attractive even though I’m not in heat? What about me still wanting him even though I know his past? But all those thoughts seem useless when he’s this near me and looks at me with his eyes full of lust.
“What about a kiss?” He slowly comes closer but doesn’t fully close the distance between our mouths.
It’s like he’s a magnet and I can’t do anything but get closer to him every time he’s near. I bridge the last inch, covering his lips with mine, pushing closer until he breathes into my mouth and his body is flush against mine, making me very aware of the state he is in, the state I’m in.
Wilder wraps both arms around me now, rolling his hips, rolling our excitements together. “You sure we’ll make it to the shower?” He lets out a low laugh.
I’m not so sure, but at the same time, I’m aware that even when I’m not in heat... I can’t help but be attracted to him, I can’t help but want him. “We’ll have to.” I let out a laugh that’s a little too airy for my taste.
“Okay, fine.” He lets me go a little, but just enough that he can move us both out of the living room and into the hallway, constantly kissing and touching me along the way. When we’re at the guest room, he lets me go. “Need to grab some clean clothes.” He pulls back and grabs some underwear from his bag. “You got your stuff upstairs?”
“Yeah.” I moved some of my clothes downstairs, but not all of them, too much of a hassle.
“Okay then.” Wilder comes closer, and before I know it, he lifts me.
I let out a little squeak, but then try to stifle the laugh. I can’t wake up Maddy, that’s no good. Especially not with the way Wilder’s eyes keep roving over me. I wrap my arms around his neck and hold on tightly as he walks the both of us up the stairs. In front of the bathroom, he puts me back down. I open the door and let us both inside. The last time we were in here together, the situation was a little different, this time at least both of us are fully aware of what is going on, of what is about to happen.
“Star.” Wilder’s voice ghosts over the back of my neck, sending delicious shivers down my spine.
“Yeah?” I’m sure he can hear exactly how turned on I am right now.
Then Wilder’s fingers slide under the front of my shirt, slide up and then around me, pulling me closer to him. “You’re so sexy.” He pushes his hands up higher and then pulls the shirt off me, making me shiver a little. But that quickly stops as he wraps his arms around me, kissing my shoulder and holding me close.
I try not to breathe too hard, I try not to let this make me go all crazy. But I want this man, I want him so badly. I turn around, first wrapping my arms around him and then sliding my hands under the back of his shirt. His skin is so warm and smooth, so amazing under my fingers. “You’re one to talk.” I look up into his eyes, then I cover his mouth with mine, kissing him hard. All teeth and tongues and all things that teenagers are supposed to be doing, not two men in their mid-thirties. And somewhere, that doesn’t bother me at all, it just makes me want him so much more. It makes me want him in ways I never imagined possible.
Wilder slides his hands in the back of my jeans and grabs my ass, grinding us together, making me feel things that are so intense that I have to break the kiss.
I pull back, I’d love to play with Wilder a little, but in the shower, not out of the shower, it just makes so much more mess... I quickly strip, turning on the shower and waiting for it to heat up, when I turn back around, Wilder is staring at me, and I can’t help but become very self-aware, to have the eyes of such a handsome man on me. “Wild?”
He looks up, flushing a little when he’s been caught staring. “Sorry, can’t help it, you’re beautiful.” He steps closer, running his hands over me, touching me, putting my skin on fire where his hands touch me.
I reach out, putting my hands on the band of his jeans. “Well, don’t just stare at me, I want to return the favour too.” I slide my hands to the middle, undoing the button. Then I look up, and Wilder kisses me, pulling me close as I awkwardly undo his jeans. When they’re down a little, I cup him through his boxer briefs, feeling his length hard in my hands. How is he so sexy? How is he so good?
Wilder breaks the kiss and pushes me back a little. “Don’t wanna ruin the fun yet. Let’s get in the shower.” He opens the curtain, and I step in, quickly followed by Wilder, who is apparently a champion at getting undressed quickly. Then he pulls me close under the stream, the water sliding down our bodies. “Want me to wash you?” He looks at me, but I’ve got a better idea.
I turn us, so he’s under the stream, but I’m out of shot a little. Then I kneel down, my view interesting from this height.
“Star?” He reaches out, putting his hand on my shoulder.
I slide my hands up his legs, feeling the tension in his body, then I wrap my hands around him, jacking him off, pulling sounds from him that make me even more excited. Then I lean forward and take the head of his cock in my mouth, sucking a little, and Wilder lets out a moan, then he muffles it with his hand, not wanting our fun time to be disturbed. But it’s not that which pulls my attention, but the look in his eyes as he does so. Sexy.
I suck a li
ttle harder, but I know that if I keep going for much longer, I’ll be the one who’ll be ending this fun time too soon. I stand up, sliding my hands over his strong body as Wilder looks at me intently.
“Fuck, you’re so sexy.” He whispers the words before crashing his mouth to mine. “I need you. Now.”
I nod, I get it, I get that feverish look in his eyes. I need him too, desperately.
He searches around, trying to find something, but I grab his hands. I may not be in heat, but I’m hot enough that we really don’t need extra lube. I guide his hands to my ass, making his fingers run over my entrance, letting him feel how slippery I am, how easy it’ll be for the both of us. He grabs my ass hard and pulls us close, rubbing us together, and I wrap my arms around him.
“Fuck. Star. Damn. Turn around.” He lets go of me and helps me to turn around in the small space, then he turns us, so I’m facing the wall. He runs his fingers over my ass, sliding, slipping, then he pushes one finger into me and my legs nearly buckle under me. Damn.
“Just fuck me,” I whisper loudly, even though I want to scream it almost. I’m just too hot right now, it’s been a month since we last did this. I’m so ready.
“Your wish is my command.” He leans over me, his body strong against mine, then I feel him push against my entrance. It’s too big to go easily, but I don’t care, I don’t want to wait, not anymore.
I bite in my arm to keep the sounds inside, and then Wilder slides in a little, making us both moan. Fuck, this is way too good. I push back against him and feel how he fills me up, how he keeps sliding in, and then slowly out a little, before pushing in further. It’s slow, but he doesn’t let up, he doesn’t stop.
Wilder wraps both his arms around me, rolling his hips and slowly sliding in and out, fucking me slowly, but so so good. “You’re so good.” He whispers against my neck and then his lips trace the mark he left on my shoulder, all my nerves now on high alert, all my nerves now going into overdrive. Then two things happen at the same time. He changes the angle of his hips, hitting something inside me that makes me see stars, and he moves his mouth over to the other shoulder, sucking up a hickey right inside Logan’s bite mark.
