by Rosa Swann
The rest of the market is luckily not as interesting as talking to Aiden, and I quickly finish the shopping. Maddy’s being a good girl and follows me closely as we cross the market. Every stall wants to make some chit-chat and we get all sorts of little gifts. Some extra fruit here, some extra bread or cheese there, even Maddy gets some candy from one of the stalls. It makes me a little awkward, but I know it comes from a good place. I know that they do it because they care, about me, about Logan.
“Daddy?” Maddy pulls on my arm. “Can I have that?” She points to a stall with popcorn and fudge, and while I’d love to think that she’s talking about the popcorn, I know she means the fudge.
“No, Sweety. You’ll feel really sick after that much sugar. But we’ll make sweetened popcorn when we get home. Okay?”
She pouts at me, but then nods, she already looks a little tired and I don’t want to spend the whole day here. “Let’s go.” I take her hand and we get back to the car. I help Maddy in the back and then put the bags away. It’s a little more than I expected, but it’s fine, I can prepare extra and freeze or prepare them in other ways for storage to eat later. When I get into the car, I check my phone. No messages from Wilder or anyone else. Good, I think.
I go back home, but as I turn onto our driveway, I see Sarah’s car next to Wilder’s and I get a bad feeling. It’s not that I don’t like her being here, but something just looks off, especially in the way she parked her car, how far off the side it is, like she left a spot for someone else, and it’s not me she prepared for. I park the car and get out, grabbing my things and Maddy follows me closely.
“Aunt Sarah is here.” She points to the car.
“Yeah, she is. Go open the door and see where she is.” I give her the keys because opening the door while holding my bags is not going to happen, I’m sure of that.
Maddy excitedly bounces towards the door and opens it, then goes inside and looks around. She’s off down the hallway as I just step through the door. I put the bags down and my jacket away as Maddy comes back, her face serious. Then Wilder follows her, looking serious as well.
“What’s wrong?” I don’t like that they both look like that.
Wilder turns to Maddy. “Can you go see Sarah? I need to talk to your daddy.”
When we’re alone, he steps closer. “Logan’s parents were here.”
The sinking feeling in my stomach gets worse and Wilder grabs my hands, holding me. “What did they say?”
“Not much.” He keeps holding me, but doesn’t look at me.
“Wild?” I reach up, touching his face, making him look at me. “What happened?”
“I may have blown up at them.” He sighs. “As tends to happen when they’re around. But I’m not sure if it was the right thing to do.”
“And Sarah?” She’s here too, her car is in the driveway, though I haven’t seen her yet.
“She got upset. Totally my fault.” He shrugs. “I just hope I didn’t make things worse.”
Worse than what? Worse than them trying to ruin my life? Our lives? I reach out to him and wrap my arms around him, holding him close. We’ll deal with it when the time comes, I’m sure of that. With Wilder at my side, I feel like I can deal with almost anything, almost.
Wilder holds me tightly, then he reaches up and runs his thumb over my cheek and then over my bottom lip. “I don’t want to hurt you or get you into trouble.”
“You won’t.” I come closer, kissing him softly, his touch immediately calming me down. Then Wilder deepens the kiss, holding me tightly, making me get lost in the feelings.
Someone gasps loudly and we both look in the direction of the sound. Sarah is standing in the middle of the hallway, her eyes red from crying, a tissue in her hand, but it’s the look on her face that’s the worst. Surprise, but also, upset. She just saw us, Logan’s mates, kissing each other.
“Sarah...” Wilder steps to her, but Sarah shakes her head.
“I should have expected this. Of course.” Her voice is close to tears. “Why didn’t I...” She wants to push past us, but Wilder grabs her arm.
“Sarah, please.” He’s begging her.
“No. You don’t get to do this now.” She pulls away. “You don’t get to play the good guy here. You don’t get to be the one who knows best. Can’t you see it? You were his mates. Have you no shame? How can you do this to him?” She glares at me. “I thought... You two... But...” Then she shakes her head again and flees to her car.
Wilder looks at me for a moment, emotions flashing over his features. “Sorry.” Then he runs after her, trying to reason with her as she’s about to leave.
Fuck. I can’t watch this, I can’t do this. I grab the bags and make my way to the kitchen, trying to get away from it all.
“Is aunt Sarah okay?” Maddy comes up to me, looking upset.
I kneel next to her. “Yeah, she’s going to be okay.” I don’t know when and how, but I know she’ll be okay. She has to be. “I was going to make you some popcorn, wasn’t I?”
But Maddy shakes her head. “No popcorn. I want chocolate.”
“Sure.” I stand up, reaching on the top shelf. I can barely reach it myself, which makes it a great place to hide it from Maddy. “Can you go sit at the table?” I grab a little plate and break a couple of pieces of the different types of chocolate. We both love flavoured chocolate, like the white one with strawberries, or the milk with nuts. Then I put it on the table in front of Maddy before I go back to unpacking. My mood wasn’t the best to begin with, but this isn’t making it any better. Only, what’s done is done, I don’t think it can be helped now. Sarah knows, or at least, knows enough.. Crap just seems to all happen at the same time around here.
When I’m done unpacking and I haven’t heard a car drive away yet, I look out the window and Sarah and Wilder are still talking, both looking serious, but at least they’re not yelling at each other. I make my way to the front door and look at them again, this time Sarah sees me. She tries to smile a little at me and reaches out to me.
I’m not sure what Wilder told her, but I guess it isn’t bad. I walk over to her and Wilder looks up as I get close. I take Sarah’s hand and then search out Wilder’s with mine, I need his strength right now. “I’m sorry.”
Sarah shakes her head. “No, don’t apologise. I should apologise for yelling.” She gives my hand a little squeeze. “Doesn’t mean I like it though.”
“I know.” It’s not like it wasn’t hard for me either, or Wilder. It’s not like we actively wanted for this to happen, but with the mating and all, it all just kind of happened. But since I don’t know how much Wilder has said to her, or how much he wants known, I don’t say anything else.
“Do you want to stay for dinner?” Wilder surprises me, but Sarah shakes her head.
“Nah. I need to get home. I’m going out with some friends tonight. And I kind of still need to make myself look presentable.” She smiles. “I’ve imposed here enough for one day and I kind of need to process this first. But thanks for the offer.” She lets go of my hand and then hugs Wilder before she hugs me. “Take care of him, will you? He can be a pain in the ass.” She nods towards Wilder, as she rolls her eyes.
We step back so Sarah can get into her car. She starts the engine and waves at us before she manoeuvres back down the gravel road.
“Fuck.” Wilder steps back. “I’d kind of hoped to not have anyone know just yet. I guess Sarah isn’t the worst, right?” He looks at me.
“Right.” The way she looked at me... I’m not sure if she is the best or the worst person to know, I though we finally got past the whole bad-looks thing. But I guess I just mess up time after time with her. Maybe that’s just part of life for me...
“Star...” Wilder pulls on my arm. “Let’s go inside.” He looks upset still, and I just want to make it better, but I don’t know how. We walk back into the house, closing the door, finally. The outside is outside, and we’re on the inside, safer. Wilder walks to the kitchen while I stand in t
he hallway, trying to figure out how it all works, what just happened.
In the kitchen, Maddy laughs and then I hear Wilder. “How did you get chocolate there?”
What? Oh, God. I rush to the kitchen, only to find Wilder and Maddy laughing at me. There isn’t any chocolate in sight, which, I should have known, but I guess that I’m just off right now. “Not funny.” I scowl.
“Oh, yes, it was. You should have seen your face.” Wilder comes over and wraps his arms around me. “It will be fine. Sarah won’t say anything. She wouldn’t do that.”
“I want to believe it, but... it’s all confusing.” I lean against him, relaxing a little. “I’m just so tired.” I’m even more tired than I first thought, there is just so much that has happened and I need to take better care of myself. Stress isn’t good, not for me and not for the baby inside me.
“I know.” He kisses the side of my head, then he lets go. “We’re going to make this work. After the weekend, I’ll talk to some lawyers and other people. We’re going to make sure that this is all going to work out fine.”
“I guess.” I pull away a little. “I just need to think. It’s been a bit much lately.”
“Sure.” The look in Wilder’s eyes tells me differently, but he lets go of me and goes to the living room, probably to get back to his laptop. To his work. Another thing where Logan and Wilder are so similar. They both work way too hard.
Maddy bounces off to somewhere in the house and I sit down at the kitchen table. Can today be over yet? Can all this mess be over yet? I feel tears threaten to spill, but I refuse to cry now. I don’t want to do this, I don’t want to have to deal with all of this anymore. I grab my gardening notebook and start to read my notes, my plans. I just need to focus on something else for a while, I need to do something that makes me calm and happy. Gardening usually does that. And even though it takes a while, in the end, it even works today. I need to think about what I need to harvest, what I need to plant and which things I need to do in the coming weeks and months. There is just so much going on, even with just the garden, and, as I look at everything, I realise that, yeah, I’m going to need an extra pair of hands this summer. Not only with Logan gone, but also because we’ve expanded the garden last year so we’ve got more veggies, more fruits, more everything than any year before.
4. Wilder
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Like today couldn’t get any worse. There is just so much stuff that can go wrong with the situation we’re in now, and I’m sure that before the day ends, something else will go wrong, just to spite me. I look at my computer screen, the email I’ve got open not making me any happier. I know that I need to resign from my job, I know I need to take care of things like that before I can take over Logan’s company, but the paperwork to do all of it… It’s going to be hell. I’m going to need someone to look this all over with me. Previously, I’d have asked Sarah, but I think we may need to not see each other for a while. Especially after what happened today.
First, I freak her out by blowing up at her parents. Then, she sees me kiss Sterling... Not good. Very not good. I wish I could go back to a time when things were easier. But as I try to pinpoint a time where things were supposedly ‘easier’, I’m drawing a blank. Maybe when I was really little, before I met Logan? Maybe when Logan and I were just friends, before we became sexually interested in each other? Was that easier? I can’t remember. But at least from that point on, nothing has ever been easy. There are so many things that we’ve done, that have changed us all. Living with Logan, planning our lives, him leaving me… And now I’m there again. At another crossroad in life...
Though, is it really a crossroad when there really is only one real choice? A crossroad implies that the choices would be equal, that I’d have any real say in what goes on. But there is only one thing to do now, only one thing that I want to do. I want to take care of Sterling and Maddy, I want to be there for our baby and I want to live here with them. Those are the important things. Everything else is noise. Everything else is just distractions from the real task at hand.
I scroll through my emails, putting some marks on ones I’ll have to look at when I get back to work on Monday, and then I close it. No more work for now. Instead I open my private email account and reply to some emails from lawyers and people I contacted about Logan’s will, about things I’ll need to take care of, questions about double mating of a single Omega. I need to work on my future and this is how I’ll get there, I’m sure of that. But as I start to read an email, a message pops up in a chat screen, a message from Sarah.
Sarah: I’m sorry about what happened.
You: You don’t need to apologise, really.
Sarah: Yes, I do. I shouldn’t have freaked out.
Sarah: I’m also sorry about upsetting Sterling.
Ah, so that’s what’s going on, guilt.
Sarah: He doesn’t deserve to be caught up in all this mess.
Sarah: And neither do you.
Not me? I was involved in this no matter what. Will or no will, Logan mated me, from that point on, anything drastic he’s done will have involved me, even if I didn’t know about it straight away.
You: And then what? We are, right now, we are caught up in all this.
Sarah: About the will... Make sure you sign the paperwork, my father is very upset.
Ah, crap. Of course.
You: What is he up to?
Sarah: I don’t know.
Sarah: Mum says he’s been talking to lawyers all day, but she won’t tell me why.
You: Aren’t you supposed to be out partying?
Sarah: In just a little while, I just needed to apologise to you again.
Sarah: Tell Sterling I’m sorry.
You: I will.
You: I’m sorry you saw that, you shouldn’t have had to.
Sarah: Thinking about it now... I guess it makes sense.
Sarah: You’re both vulnerable, and stuff like this happens when people are vulnerable.
Sarah: Plus, Logan and you always had some uncanny similarities in taste.
I gasp, but I can’t deny it.
You: Oi!
You: I think you should probably go and get to your party.
Sarah: I’m off. Talk to you soon!
You: You too! Have fun!
I close the screen so I don’t see anything else anymore. I didn’t tell Sarah much when we talked earlier, just that Sterling and I had developed a connection because of all the shit that happened. I didn’t want her to know yet about our mating or about the baby, those things are just not safe to have out there in the world yet. I’m not sure when they will be, but at least not now, at least not until we’re a lot more secure when it comes to our living arrangements and our jobs. Fuck.
I stand up, making my way to the kitchen, where Sterling is sitting at the table, scribbling down notes and looking so serious. He’s handsome and sexy, I’m not even sure he realises it himself how he has such a strong aura around himself when he’s not paying attention. I slide into the seat on the other side of the table and Sterling looks up at me.
“Hey.” Sterling licks his lips as he blinks. “Something up?”
I shake my head. “Just looking. Just watching you work.”
He rolls his eyes. “That’s kinda creepy, you know?”
“I know.” I grin and shrug.
“Then why do you do it?” He sits up now, looking at me, giving me his full attention.
“Because I wanted to tell you that I didn’t tell Sarah anything.” I reach out to him and he takes my hands. “I told her we had a connection, which was understandable after what we’ve been through. I don’t even think she suspects anything more. She saw one kiss. She saw us interact a little. Two heartbroken men reaching out to each other, comforting each other? It’s not that weird.”
Sterling nods. “I guess. I just don’t...”
“I know. I’m not telling anyone. This is for us, this is what we’ve decided on, nothing more.” I rub my thumb over the top o
f his hand. “Are you okay now?” It scared him, what happened with Sarah, it scared him so much.
“I guess.” Then he frowns, changing the subject. “Logan’s parents were here? What exactly happened? You said you blew up at them?”
“Yeah...” Not my best moment, then again, what part of today has been my best? “They were doubting my mating. They were being really difficult about things and I’d had it. I’d had it with their aggressions. I blew up. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. Someone has to do it. Logan didn’t. You’re the first one I’ve seen stand up to them.” He stands up and comes to my side of the table, wrapping his arms around me. “I know that they have like this big business and that they own all sorts of companies and stuff and that they have all this power. And then you stand up to them.” Sterling pushes closer, hiding his face in my neck, but not after I see a little pink creep up his cheeks. “It’s sexy.”
I swallow hard. Sarah said that I have this side to me, this side that protects others, but never have I been praised for it like this. I’ve never known someone who’d actually appreciate me actually acting like how I feel inside. “Really?”
“Yes, really.” Sterling’s voice drops and I need to fight myself to not let my hands wander to inappropriate places.
I wrap my arms around him tightly, keeping my hands firmly in safe zones. “Thank you.” Of all the things, I didn’t realise I needed to hear this. I needed to hear someone being proud of me.
Then Maddy rushes into the kitchen, a towel trailing behind her, her dolls and cars on top of it, some of them sliding off and rolling around on the floor. Her face is covered in colours and I have no clue what is going on, but I burst out laughing.
Sterling lets out a groan as he makes his way over to her. “Maddy, what did you do? What is that on your face?”
“Colour! Like aunt Sarah does.” She looks annoyed that he doesn’t praise her for it.
And I can’t stop laughing. Make-up, she means make-up like Sarah wears. I didn’t realise a little girl would be that interested in it. But I guess that seeing an older woman she looks up to wearing it may be part of the intrigue.
