by Cary Hart
“Stop! You are going to mess up my hair!” I shout.
“Seriously, Ellie, dramatic much?” She jumps off the bed, landing on her feet all cat-like. “When you’re nervous you catch a case of bitchatitus.”
“That isn’t even a word.” I hop up and head to the bathroom. At least my makeup and hair look good—or they did, anyway.
“Sure it is. Urban Dictionary says so.” Rain gets out her phone, swiping it alive. “Bitchatitus—Having or contracting the illness of
being a bitch.”
“You really think I’m being a bitch?” I peek my head out of the bathroom, straightener in one hand and toothbrush in the other.
“Nah, you’re just getting a little high-strung, which is really abnormal for you. So, what’s going on?” Rain starts flipping through my closet. “This is more than just Lee having some news.”
Standing in the bathroom, I finish brushing my teeth and think about her words. Spitting, I walk out to where she is. “Last time I played, he left. Walked out without even saying good-bye.” I reach in the closet and pull out my favorite dark, ripped jeans. As I slide them on, I say, “What if he leaves again?”
“Have you ever asked him why he left?”
I shake my head no.
“Why haven’t you?” Rain asks the very question I have asked myself a million times.
Why?
I had the chance when we were playing Three Questions, but after he told me about his grandmother, I thought maybe that was the reason. Maybe there was an emergency and he had to go. Then again, maybe not.
“Scared to find out the answer, I guess,” I admit, reaching past her to pull out a black-and-white striped tank.
“Oh! I see where you’re going with this.” Rain ignores my
admission and begins to go through my shirts, pulling out a white tank. Then she moves over to my jewelry box and pulls out three necklaces and two blinged-out leather wraps. “Pair those with that and then the red high heel booties with a matching lip and you are set.”
“You don’t think I need to wear a dress?” I question her advice.
“No! Do you want everyone in the crowd to get a peep show while you’re performing?” Rain flips up her skirt, exposing her thong, and continues. “In case you forgot, it’s not that type of stage.” She winks.
“Seriously, you’re messed up.”
“I know. I blame my parents and all the drugs.” Rain heads into the kitchen. “Wanna do a shot before we go down?”
“They didn’t do drugs back then,” I say, nodding my head in approval at the alcohol.
“Well, still. I blame them for everything. It’s my excuse for therapy.” She downs her shot and mine, before she pours two more. “And it will still be my excuse when my kids are in therapy.” She laughs.
“I don’t even know what to say right now,” I respond as I sit down on the couch to put on my booties. These aren’t the most comfortable, but they’re definitely the cutest.
“Nothing. You say nothing.” She hands me a shot. “To new beginnings?”
“Yes, to new beginnings.” We clink our glasses together. “And staying,” I get in quickly before I let the alcohol burn its way into my system.
“Speaking of which.” She picks up my phone and hands it to me. “Lover boy is texting.”
Grabbing the phone from her hands, I swipe it alive.
Lee: Downstairs. You want me to come up?
Quickly, I type out a reply.
Me: We are just finishing up. Be down in five minutes.
Lee: See you soon.
His message causes me to get a tad excited. “He’s here!” I jump up and quickly pick up some things around the room just in case he wants to visit afterward.
“Interesting.” Rain leans against the counter.
“What?”
“Just think.” She crosses her arms. “If our parents would have let us have boys up to our rooms, we probably would have kept them clean.”
With a bra in one hand and a wet towel in the other, I shrug and toss everything in a basket. Rooms may have been clean, but I’m pretty sure the pregnancy rate would have gone up.
“El, your phone is BLOW-ING UP over there.”
Typing in my passcode. I see it’s Lee.
Lee: Jen just walked in.
Oh good!
Lee: Jake’s brother’s here.
Oh shit!
Me: Is he alone?
Lee: That was Jen. She took my phone.
Lee: She has grabby hands.
Me: Wait, how grabby?
Lee: Just the phone.
Me: Good.
Lee: You jealous?
Me: Just a little…
Me: Not like hunt you down and slash your tires jealous.
Lee: I get it, but YOU have nothing to worry about.
Me: You make me smile.
Lee: Ditto.
Locking the phone, I hold it to my chest and sigh before I slide it in my back pocket.
“Loverboy?” Rain purrs.
I turn to face Rain and break the news I know she doesn’t want to hear. “Jordan is here.”
“Son of a bitch!” She slams her glass down.
She turns around, pours a double and downs it before I can say anything else.
“Rain?”
Ignoring me, she goes through her usual routine. Money and lipstick in bra, ID in one pocket and cell in the other. “You ready?”
“Yeah.” I pack up my guitar and grab a couple of the picks Rain brought over the other day.
“Good cause this place is about to get lit!” She bounces out the door.
I’m not sure what is going on but seeing her like this isn’t good. Rain with a copious amount of liquor is unpredictable.
“Not too lit. Right? ’Cause I have this performance.” I follow Rain down the stairs, nonchalantly reminding her.
“Of course! Tonight is going to be off the hook!” she shouts back.
“Rain?” I run past her, blocking the door. “Just remember he didn’t deserve you.”
“El.” She reaches for the handle, pulling open the door, not giving me a choice but to move. “Don’t worry about me.” She nods to the bar. “See that guy over there? Tonight is about new beginnings and getting laid.”
“I’m pretty sure we said new beginnings and staying.”
“I’m thinking getting laid sounds better. So, run over there to your man and get you a piece.” She winks while pushing me toward the bar. “Lee! Come get your girl,” she shouts, causing Lee and everyone else in the bar to look in my direction.
“I’d be happy to.” Lee hops off the stool and comes over to me, pulling me into his arms, whispering into the sweet spot that was made just for him. “Hi.”
It’s crazy how one simple word, one little gesture, can say so much.
Hi—I missed you.
Hi—You look amazing.
Hi—I can’t wait till we are alone.
Hi—Don’t be nervous.
Hi—Let’s have some fun.
One word said everything it needed to say for me to know tonight is going to be one to remember.
Lee
Tonight is something I never knew I was missing. I wasn’t forced
to grow up faster than I wanted. I chose to. The need to give back to the people who loved me unconditionally was greater than a drunken frat party or an unnecessary relationship.
Maybe even a few were one-night stands. Well, okay maybe a lot of them, but it’s not because they weren’t nice girls; most of them were and maybe even were girlfriend material. I just felt given the choices I made, nothing more than one night would work.
Then I met Ellie. Being with her is definitely more than necessary. Ellie Thorne flipped my world upside down and I’ve been happy hanging here ever since.
“So, are you going to tell me the good news?” Ellie, leans into me, her mouth a soft tickle on my ear. “’Cause I’m dying to know.”
Reaching my arm out, I wrap it around El
lie’s shoulder, pulling her close. “You know that promotion I told you about?”
“Yeah?” she says with excitement.
“No—no, but I guess they were so pleased with my progress they decided to make me an offer I couldn’t refuse.” I stand and hold out my hand.
“Where are we going?” She seems confused.
“Yeah! Where you going, Scott?” Jen asks loudly.
“I bet…” Rain leans over and whispers in Jen’s ear.
“Ohhhhh!” Jen winks. Then they both get up and head toward the spotlights.
Gavin, who manages Spotlight, gave the girls a few tokens to run the spotlights free of charge, and since this Jordan guy is down on the dance floor with the slut of the month or whatever Rain called her, I’m sure they will be preoccupied for a while.
“Never mind.” I sit down, pulling her with me, tucking us away in the corner of the high-back lounger.
“I could get used to this.” She snuggles into me.
“Well, hopefully, with this new project we will be able to do this more often because last week killed me.” I pull her closer, placing a light kiss against her temple.
“And…” Ellie reaches between us and tickles my side.
“Oh yeah.” I throw my head back. “They asked me to go in on a project that will be extremely profitable.”
“Doing what?” Ellie hangs on to my every word.
“Flipping a house that had been foreclosed on.” I sit up so I can look her in the eyes and take her hands in mine. “Ellie, this will give me the money I need to support my Grans.”
“Really? For Lavender Springs?” Her voice is hopeful.
Ellie and I spent hours talking while she was over at my house, then spent the morning playing our little game until I brought her home. She paid attention to everything I said, down to the name of the care center I was researching.
“Yeah. It may be the end of the year before I get the money, but Mom…” I tighten my lips. Just saying her name still seems like a foreign word. “Now that she is back, she’s been helping out more. The question is for how long?”
Placing a hand on either side of my face, Ellie pulls me close, taking a kiss, and giving me reassurance.
Pulling back, she searches my eyes. “I know you’re worried, but your Grans wants you to live your life for you.”
“I know. That’s what makes it so hard. How can I live a life she
wants me to live when I’m fighting so damn hard for her to remember hers?” I close my eyes, tilting my head back.
“Hey, look at me.”
I do.
“With your mom in the picture and this new opportunity, it gives you the ability to do both.” She smiles.
“You won’t hear me complaining about that. I still have a lot of you I want to discover. Every. Single. Inch of you.” I pull her into my arms and nuzzle her neck, my new favorite place.
“I like the sound of that.” Ellie snakes her hands up my back and into my hair, whispering, “Sometimes, all we can do is take a chance, and you’re mine.”
And I want more than anything for you to be mine.
Chapter Nineteen
Lee
Eloise Hawthorne—Ellie Thorne, the same girl. Who knew I would fall for the girl from the other side of the tracks. The more prominent, rolling in money, side of the tracks. One where lives were carefully constructed, and futures mapped out. Ellie is everything I never wanted. She stands for a life I have run from but am now sprinting toward. She is searching for a future I constantly try to bury. Yet, here we are. Writing, erasing and marking it all back up again.
“You and me.” Rain comes toward me. “Dance now.” She pulls me up, but I sit right back down.
My plans for the rest of the night are to watch Ellie on stage. Tonight is big for her and I want to make sure she knows I’m here, watching.
“Come on. Jordan is out there and Jake is behind the bar and, well…” She yanks me back up. “I don’t have time to give you my history. The point is, it’s fucked-up. So, I’m calling in a favor from my best friend’s boyfriend. Dance with me.”
“Fine. No twerking or whatever it is you have been doing with that thing.”
She rolls her eyes. “It’s called working it and you’re just jelly that you don’t have all this.” She turns around and does this little thing with her ass, causing me to fall forward laughing.
Catching my breath, I follow her out to the dance floor. “Just know the only reason I’m going out there is to be closer to the stage. To Ellie.”
“I get it, Lover Boy. Don’t make this more than what it is.” She pulls us down the two levels of stairs and across the dance floor until we are practically next to the stage.
“Nice spot!” I try to move toward the music.
“Don’t talk.” She moves around me in a circle. “I’m trying to figure out where they went.” She raises her voice, trying to be heard above the pulsating beat.
“Have you thought about just talking to him?” I shout.
“Yes! Just a million times.” She comes to stand in front of me. “Look, I’m trying to get someone’s attention. So, I’m going to turn around and back it up on you. Act like you enjoy it. Hell, look at the stage and play Where is Ellie. You know, like Waldo?” She swivels around and does exactly what she promised. “Remember, enjoy it.” Rain reminds me, hollering over her shoulder.
Scanning around the stage area, I finally see Ellie. “Rain, I don’t think Ellie would—”
Not a fucking chance.
Not giving Rain even a second thought I push through the small crowd blocking me from the one person who needs my help the most right now.
Some drunk guy is standing behind her, hands all over her as she tries to get ready for her set. Ellie is trying to push him off, but he keeps coming back.
“I have a horn you can blow.” The drunk fuck tries to flirt or whatever he thinks he’s doing.
“Cheesy pickup lines are my thing.” I grab the guy by the collar and pull him off. “When a girl says no, you fucking listen.” I throw him down to the side. “Don’t fucking touch her or anyone else tonight,” I seethe.
“I thought I told you to never come back.” A deep voice barrels toward us. “Out! Now!” He swoops the drunk up by doing some kind of death grip to his neck where he instantly rises. “Sorry, Ellie.” He gives her an apologetic look and leaves.
“Who’s that?” I point my thumb toward the exit.
“Shapiro, the bouncer.” She watches them leave then turns around.
“You okay?” I place a hand on her shoulder and wait for her to acknowledge me, but she doesn’t.
“I’m not. What you did,” she twists around, “Was—”
“Saving you?” I point out.
“I don’t need saving.” She pulls the strap over her head.
“Hey, where is this coming from?” I pull her in and envelop her in my arms. Her tension begins to deflate.
“I don’t know. I guess I’m just nervous,” she confesses.
“I thought you don’t get nervous.”
“I normally don’t, but tonight is different.”
“Different is good.” I lean down, kissing her on the top of the head. “You better?”
She nods.
“Good, me too.” I turn her around in my arms and give her a little push to the stage. “You’re up.”
“Watch me?”
“Of course.” I wink and turn to find a spot close to the stage when she comes over the speakers.
“Hey y’all. Let’s give it up for our favorite Nashville girl, Myles Davis.” she works the crowd, continuing, “I’m Ellie Thorne and who is here looking for a little trouble? I heard this is the place to come to,” she says into the mic, slow and confident, while the audience is bursting with excitement. “You ready for what I got?” She strums chords of the song, a song I know all too well.
Breathe.
The walls are closing in. Everywhere I look, walls of people.
> Breathe.
Pushing my way through one person at a time.
Breathe.
“Lee, you okay?” Someone calls after me.
Breathe.
Hands on my knees, I try to catch my breath.
Breathe.
I hear someone behind me.
Everything is muffled.
The voice.
The music.
Her.
It’s just words. I tell myself. Words my mother listened to. Words sung by a beautiful, caring and supportive girl. Words that mean nothing.
But Ellie, she means something. She deserves a chance. The same chance she has encouraged me to take.
Pushing back the demons, I turn around and take a single step toward the stage. Fighting the war within, I take another step and then another. Keeping my eyes on Ellie.
My strength.
My choice.
My chance.
So, I stand here. In the front row, looking up to the girl who inspires me to be more. Watching her every move, listening to every word, laughing at every joke.
I stay.
Ellie Thorne not only owns the stage, she owns my heart.
Chapter Twenty
Ellie
Tonight was amazing. The best performance I have ever had, and it is because of Lee. I got up there to play for him. To sing the words I’m too afraid to say. Then when I saw him standing there in the front row, every word became clearer, the notes longer, the beat louder.
Lee Scott, my muse. The man who is right behind this very door. Waiting for me.
Me.
All because I asked him to stay.
Unlocking the door, I push it open, unsure of what I’m walking into to.
“Lee?” I call tentatively.
“Hey, you.” He comes around the corner, skidding to a stop when he sees me. “Damn, girl. On a scale of one to ten you are definitely a nine, and I’m the one you need.”
I can’t help but giggle. His little pickup lines, as cheesy as they are, are one of the many things I look forward to with Lee Scott.
“You are something else.” I close the distance between us.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah!” I nod.
“Come here.” He reaches around, pulling me close. “You were absolutely amazing tonight.”
