by SJ West
“Probably because I wasn't born into privilege,” I said. “I have an outsider’s view on matters that most would simply think normal under the circumstances. Things need to change in Vankara, Dracen. I think this war might just be the impetus we need to make that happen. And I know Fallon will remain by my side through it all even if nothing comes from this connection growing between us.”
“How do you plan to handle Aleksander? He won't just stand to the side and let his dream of having both Vankara and Chromis under his control vanish because you fell in love.”
“He is not my ruler. He's not even my friend. I owe him nothing, especially if he doesn't lend us his support in this war. He may care for me in his own way, but if blackmail is how he plans make me his wife, I’ll have nothing to do with him. Vankara doesn't need a dictator. She simply needs a clean slate, a chance at a fresh start. The politicians in parliament have become too concerned with their own agendas. They've forgotten they serve the people of Vankara, not the other way around.”
“I hope you can provide change for the country,” Dracen said. “I would like to see it happen before I die.”
“Can you die?” I asked, already knowing he was a few hundred years old. Yet, he didn't look like he was over the age of forty.
“All living creatures die eventually,” Dracen told me. “It just takes longer for some.”
“Excuse me,” Fallon said, appearing in the doorway. “Queen Sora is here. She wanted to know if she could have a word with you before we leave.”
I sit up straighter to reposition myself in bed. Dracen comes over to my side and props up the two bed pillows behind my back for support. I didn't like being in such a compromising position to meet Sora, but I didn't exactly have the physical strength to make myself more presentable for her visit either.
“Send her in please,” I told Fallon.
Dracen walked out of the room just as Sora entered.
“Master Dracen,” Sora said in surprise, obviously not expecting to see him. To my great surprise, Sora bowed her head in Dracen's direction. I knew bowing in Kamoran society meant a great deal. It showed the person you bowed to that you thought of them as being higher than you in status. “Thank you for saving my life. I am in your debt.”
“I wasn't there for you,” Dracen told her honestly. “I was there for my queen.”
Sora nodded. “Yes, I realize that. Nevertheless, I am in your debt.”
“I have no use for a favor,” Dracen said. “All that I would ask is that you give Vankara and its queen the respect they both deserve.”
“You have my promise that I will,” Sora said, bowing her head once more as if to affirm her promise before entering my room.
Sora stood at the foot of my bed. Her gaze immediately fell to the bandages on my wrists.
“I was told you will be leaving soon,” she said to me. “I brought my healers back to reapply some fresh poultice to your wounds. They've also brought extra so that your friends can reapply it when needed.”
“Thank you,” I told her, waiting to see what she really came to speak with me about.
“I also wanted to give you some friendly advice,” she said. “When you meet with the dragons, don't try to lie to them. It won't work.”
“Well, that's one of the few truthful things I've heard that woman say,” Aurora remarked snidely.
“I tried to hide my past from them, but they were able to see right through my lies. Like I told you before, they will make you look at the worst memories you have. Lying to cover up some past misdeed is pointless. If you are truthful with them, I see no reason why they wouldn't align with you.”
“Was it the lie or your past that made them refuse your offer for an alliance?”
“I think it was more the lie than my past,” Sora admitted, looking a bit chagrined. “What I did in my past was done just so I could survive. I think they understood that and even showed me compassion because of it. It was the subterfuge I attempted that they could not condone.”
“Thank you for sharing your experience,” I told her, truly amazed that Sora was showing me such a vulnerable, human side to her personality.
I may not have liked her, but I did admire her strength. In our world, women weren't always given the respect they deserved. Even if you held a position of power, a woman still had to prove that she was up to the challenge more often than a man had to. It wasn't fair, but that was the way the world worked. Sometimes having to build such an austere facade to show to the world made you lose parts of yourself. I believed that was what happened to Sora. I had no idea what past events she tried to hide from the dragons, but there was no doubt in my mind that she did whatever she had to do to survive. She and I would never become friends, but I had to admit that she was one of the strongest women I had ever met.
“I wish you luck in your journey,” Sora told me sincerely. “My troops will be ready to travel to Vankara as soon as we receive word that you have negotiated a deal with the dragons. I've also hired extra men to help repair your damaged ships. I promise they will be sea worthy when the time comes.”
“Thank you,” I told her. “And I will keep my promise about speaking with the dragons on your behalf.”
A wistful smile pulls at the corners of Sora's lips. “I have a feeling your words will not change their minds about me. But, I will maintain my hope that they will. Safe travels, Emma.”
Sora turned and walked out of my bedchamber.
Fallon brought in the two physicians Sora brought with her, and they tended to my wounds while Fallon watched their every movement like a hawk.
“He feels guilty,” Aurora said to me, staring at Fallon.
I stopped watching what the healers were doing to my wrists and looked over at Fallon. He did have a troubled frown on his face, and I knew Aurora could sense his mood.
“He shouldn't,” I told her. “It wasn't his fault. None of us suspected my uncle of having his own sadistic agenda.”
“True,” Aurora agreed. “But Fallon is a man of honor. He would lay down his life to protect those he cares about, and he cares a great deal about you, Sarah.”
I smiled at her statement.
“What on earth could make you smile at a time like this?” Fallon asked, catching me off guard by his question. Obviously, he witnessed my natural response to Aurora's words.
I shook my head slightly. “Nothing.”
“Well, it must be something good to make you smile like that,” Fallon said, sounding extremely curious about what made me happy.
“I'll tell you one day,” I said. “I promise.”
“One day soon?” He asked hopefully.
“Possibly.”
Fallon smiled at me and nodded, signaling the end of his inquiries.
I secretly hoped what was transpiring between Fallon and me would grow into something lasting, but I knew life never guaranteed much, especially when it concerned love and friendship.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
After Sora’s healers finished tending to my wounds, we immediately departed Kamora and made our way to the dragon islands. I had to admit that I felt a small amount of relief leaving our new allies behind. I hoped in time the events that took place there would fade from my memory. As it was, I had no desire to return anytime soon. However, I knew I would have to return after I formed an alliance with the dragons. Otherwise, Sora wouldn't send her troops to Vankara, and they were a vital part of our plan to drive the Fae out of Iron City.
Fallon ordered me to get some rest as soon as we were in flight. I voiced no argument. The fact was I still felt weak from my injuries, and I knew I would need all of my strength to maintain my faculties in order to negotiate a deal with the dragons. From the warnings Sora gave me, I had a feeling they wouldn’t align with us readily. I wasn’t sure what I would need to promise them in order to gain their help, but I felt sure I would have to pay some sort of price to obtain their cooperation.
What worried me the most was the fact that Sora seemed t
o think the dragons would make me face misdeeds from my past. She was misguided in her assumption that I had nothing to atone for. I had one lie that haunted me for most of my childhood and adult life. Almost my entire existence had been lived with this untruth hovering over my soul like a specter waiting for an opportunity to pounce. I had deceived the Harkers by allowing them to believe I was their natural born child. I allowed them to die never knowing the truth of my life long deception. I felt sure the dragons would bring up this fact up and make me explain why I lied to those I loved.
“They will understand what you did, Sarah,” Aurora assured me. “The real Sarah was dying anyway. There was nothing you could have done to save her.”
“But I never told the Harkers the truth,” I said, feeling the guilt of that falsehood all over again. “They never knew their daughter died that night. I stole their chance to grieve.”
“You saved them the heartache of having to live through a nightmare,” my little dragonling said. “I can only imagine the pain a parent would feel losing their only child.”
I knew what Aurora said was true, but the fact remained that I had lived a lie most of my life. I was still living a lie. The only thing that was different was the shape my body had transformed into.
“What if they make me tell Inara the truth about who I am and what happened to Queen Emma?”’
“I’m sure she will understand,” Aurora said, but even I could hear the uncertainty in her voice.
“We’ve all lied to her,” I said. “Everyone except her and Able know the truth. I can’t even be sure Able doesn’t know. He may have seen the truth in one of his visions and just isn’t saying anything to us or doesn't completely understand what he has seen.”
“It isn’t something you should worry about,” Aurora said, coming to lay on the pillow beside mine. “You need to get some rest, Sarah. You need to prepare yourself for whatever my kind has in store for you.”
I laid my head down onto my pillow and closed my eyes, soon falling into a troubled sleep.
I was awoken some time later by a soft knock on my bedroom door.
I sat up, rubbing the sleep from my eyes.
“Come in,” I said.
Fallon peeked his head around the corner of the ajar door to peer in at me.
“I’m sorry to wake you,” he said, opening the door a bit wider and stepping inside with a medium sized white ceramic jar in one hand and a roll of gauze in the other. “Sora’s healers told us we needed to change your dressings every eight hours until your wounds are healed.”
“Have I been asleep that long?” I asked, feeling groggy and in desperate need of more sleep.
“A little longer actually,” he said, leaving the door slightly open and walking into the room. “I didn’t want to wake you, but Dracen insisted your bandages be changed. I think he still feels some guilt for having to take such drastic measures to close your wounds the way he did.”
“He saved my life by doing it,” I said as Fallon sat down on the side of my bed making it dip slightly from his added weight.
“He knows that,” Fallon told me, setting the jar and gauze down on the nearby nightstand. “You can do something for the best of reasons but still feel guilt because of it.”
“Very wise words considering our conversation before you fell asleep,” Aurora told me.
Fallon took my right arm into his rather large and warm hands, gently unraveled the gauze there. I studied the line of burnt flesh marking the cauterization of my wounds by Dracen to prevent me from bleeding out. The injury was indeed healing faster than it normally would on its own. Fallon spread some more of the foul smelling healing poultice onto my wound.
“Do you know what that’s made out of?” I asked, watching him spread the yellow mixture along the vertical burn mark.
“No,” Fallon said with slightly raised eyebrows. “And I’m not sure I want to.”
I let out a half laugh. “That’s probably a wise choice.”
After Fallon rewrapped my arm with the clean gauze, he moved on to the left one and repeated the procedure of redressing my wounds. His careful and tender manner wasn't lost on me. I appreciated his efforts to cause me as little pain as possible. I couldn't prevent myself from staring at him while he tended to me and found myself wondering what it would feel like to kiss him.
My experience in such things was limited to Aleksander's advances. But, I well remembered Fallon's words about not having anything to compare that first kiss from Aleksander to. He told me that until I had kissed two men, I wouldn't truly know whether the kiss from Aleksander was as good as I thought it was at the time. I felt sure Fallon would happily volunteer to prove me wrong in my assumption about Aleksander's kiss. If we hadn't been interrupted by Arisu in the garden of the Kamoran palace, I know Fallon would have kissed me then.
Fallon looked up unexpectedly and caught me staring at him. Once catching me, I felt my cheeks grow warm from embarrassment and immediately diverted my gaze away from his.
“How long before we reach the dragon islands?” I asked, hoping to cast aside my small indiscretion before looking back at him.
Fallon smiled and I immediately knew he understood what I was trying to do by asking my question. He continued to wrap my arm with the gauze and acted the part of a gentleman by not asking me why I had been staring at him so blatantly.
“Dracen said we should be there by tomorrow morning,” Fallon replied.
“Everything hinges on us making an alliance with them,” I said with a heavy sigh. “Sora won’t send her troops unless we do, and we can’t retake the city without their support against Nuala's dragons.”
“Dracen seems to think you have a good chance of gaining their help,” Fallon said, trying to sound optimistic.
“But why would they?” I asked. “Our war isn’t their problem. What do they gain by helping us? I don’t see how we can offer them anything that they don’t already have.”
Fallon tightened the gauze on my left arm to make sure it was secure.
“I’m sure even dragons need something,” he said to me. “You just need to find out what that something is.”
“Would you mind handing me my dressing robe?” I asked. “I feel a need to get out of this bed. I might feel better if I talk to Dracen and get some advice on how to handle the dragons before we meet them.”
Fallon stood up and went to the wardrobe in the room to find my robe. It was made of maroon crushed velvet with black lace around the edges of the sleeves and wide collar.
As I stood up from the bed, Fallon held the robe out for me to slip my arms into the sleeves. I fumbled with the sash trying to tie it into a knot in the front, but my fingers proved to be too weak to get the job done.
I felt Fallon’s arms wrap around my waist from the back as he gently took the ends of the sash out of my hands.
“Let me help,” he said, stepping up closer behind me and looking over my shoulder so he could see what his hands were doing.
His unexpected intimacy was comforting, and I had to admit that I enjoyed feeling as if I was being looked after. It was a small act of kindness, but it was the first time in a long while that I felt cared for.
“There,” Fallon said after tying the ends of the sash into a bow at the front of my robe. He stepped back from me, and I turned around to face him.
“Thank you,” I told him.
“Anytime,” he replied with a small smile.
Aurora flew up to take her regular perch on my shoulder. We left the room to find Dracen and Able in the living compartment. Dracen was standing by the bank of windows, staring out at the night’s sky. Able was sitting on one of the two couches reading a book. As soon as I entered the room, they both looked over at me in surprise.
“How are you feeling?” Dracen asked. By the concerned look on his face, I could tell he thought I should still be in bed resting.
“I’m feeling stronger,” I told him. “I’ve been lying down for far too long. I needed to get up and st
retch my legs.”
Dracen nodded. “I can understand that, but don’t wear yourself out. Your body not only received physical injuries, but it also suffered through shock, which can be just as damaging.”
“If I’m going to go through a negotiation with dragons tomorrow, I think I need to push myself a little. I’m sure they’ll be more reluctant to deal with someone who appears weak to them and too much depends on me obtaining their help. Without them, we’ll have no choice but to accept Aleksander’s proposition. If we don’t have air support, we’ll need to double our ground troops and hope that turns the tide for us.”
“It won’t come to that,” Dracen said with confidence. “They’ll help you.”
“Like I was just saying to Fallon, why should they help us? What do we have to offer them? This isn't their war to fight.”
“I believe they will view it as a second chance,” Dracen answered.
“A second chance at what exactly?” I asked, walking over to the settee opposite Able. Our young seer placed the book he was reading down on his lap to give his full attention to the rest of the conversation.
“Remember me telling you about the war the dragons had?” Dracen asked.
“Yes, I remember. But you didn’t say why they went to war against one another.”
“It started like most wars do,” Dracen said with a shrug of his shoulders. “They had a disagreement that couldn’t be resolved any other way.”
“What did they disagree about?” Fallon asked, taking a seat beside me.
“Some of the dragons thought it was time for them to come out of the shadows and rule over humanity, others didn’t.”
“Rule over us?” I asked. “I assume the ones who thought that are the ones with Nuala now.”
“Yes,” Dracen answered.
“But it looks like the Fae rule over them, not the other way around.”
“It does appear that way for the moment,” Dracen agreed. “But, things aren’t always what they seem. I believe the dragons are simply using her to further their own agenda. When they first formed a friendship with the Fae, I thought it was a good thing. I thought they saw the folly in their greed for power. Obviously, considering the present situation, they were simply biding their time until this moment.”
