by Erin Havoc
I jump, hitting him with a shoulder to his stomach. He loses his balance as we topple to the ground together, and I come up a second later, my fist raised and aimed at his face. I strike him, the nose crunching beneath my knuckles. Blood wets my skin and I roar into his face.
“You don’t fucking touch my mate!” I scream with my lion’s roar in the back of my throat. Fur threatens to spurt from the corners of my face and I grind my teeth to hold it back. If I turn into the lion, I know I’ll kill him.
“Nolan!” Faith cries out from behind me and I’m not sure what her call means. Is she asking me to stop? Is she just surprised?
Just to be sure, I punch him again. The man raises his hands, pleading for me to pull back.
“Not so brave now, eh?” I rumble, punching him again. His head slams to the ground, and he seems to pass out for a moment. I pull back, waiting for him to come to his senses so I can punch him again.
“Nolan,” Faith repeats, and her hands touch my shoulders. “Don’t do this. He won’t make your life easy.”
Getting to my feet, I pull the man along, shaking him like he was shaking my girl. The man comes to his senses, blinking slowly. His eyes widen as he meets my face. “You’re not ever touching her again if you want to live. Copy that?”
He nods, and I shove him off. He topples and drags away from us pathetically. I watch him go, Faith’s hands on me. Finally, I turn back to inspect her. Make sure she’s all right.
“Are you good, kitten?”
Her lower lip shakes, her eyes wide, red-rimmed with tears. She looks unscathed as she nods. “I am.”
“We need to talk.”
I’m afraid she’ll send me off, but she nods again. After I turn my car engine off and lock it, we walk into her place. She doesn’t take my hand, but she doesn’t give me the boot too. A tiny hope flickers inside my chest.
And I will fight tooth and nail for it.
10
FAITH
My head hurts from how much I’ve cried in the last thirty minutes.
Honestly, it’s been forever since the last time I’ve let the waterwork flow. The relationship with my ex had been sprinkled with moments like this. My front lobe pulsing with a headache, my eyes swollen with tears. He had been so flattering and so sweet in the beginning. But once the masks are down and no one’s looking, people reveal their true hearts.
And his was black as coal.
He insulted me and he hit me, and he made sure I thought I was to blame for the tragedies in my life. The pain settled like it’s always been part of me. My heart hardened. I accepted I could not be loved.
I’m thankful to my friends. Claire especially. She noticed the changes, the mood shifting and sinking, and how I reacted when I was close to him. She’s the one who talked me off the edge. Who gripped my hand and told me she wouldn’t let go.
After the separation, I promised myself I’d never cry for a man again.
How silly. I let it happen all over again. And in the middle of my ache, my ex showed up to threaten me. Threatening to hurt me if I didn’t pull the divorce process and the aggression police report. He said he was having problems finding a new job. I told him he should have thought about it before he hit me. He rose a hand to strike me, and as every time before, I slammed my eyes shut and waited for the pain.
Nolan’s appearance could be compared to a knight on a white horse. But he was much more like a beast. Furious. Seething as he beat my ex up, punch after punch, and for a moment I hoped he’d kill him.
Then I was back to my senses. My eyes dry up, and my heartbeat slows down. In Nolan’s presence, I feel safe. And I’d usually tell him to go away and never look for me again, but I want to hear him out. There’s this permanent tug inside me, this magnetic pull to him. I’m giving him a chance to explain himself.
I want to forgive him. But I can’t overlook a betrayal, and he knows that. Would he so easily ruin this beautiful thing we’ve been building?
As soon as my door closes, I walk into the bathroom to wash my face. The light makeup I had applied has started to run, the mascara streaking down my cheeks in a pathetic look. I scrub it off as I take deep breaths and regain control of my limbs, making them stop the shaking.
As I press a cloth to my cheeks, Nolan emerges behind me, a glass of water in hand. His face is expressionless, with no sign of his cocky grin. His eyes rake over my face, studying, analyzing.
“Thanks,” I tell him as I take the glass, sipping from the liquid. Finally, I wave to the couch. “Let’s sit.”
He doesn’t move, towering over me. “Kitten. You saw me hugging Vivian, didn’t you?”
My cheeks flare and I look away. “Yeah. Guess there was a reason you wouldn’t take me to the station and introduce me to the others, after all.”
“A reason?”
“Yeah.” I shrug, bile rising in my throat. Grinding my jaw, I tilt my chin up to look at him. He’s not putting me down. I’m not shedding another tear for this. This love that could be so dazzling but withered before it had a chance. “Maybe she’s your girl from the station, and you didn’t want me there because we would meet.”
His expression unchanging, he picks his phone, sliding his thumb around before he offers me the device. “Her name is Vivian. She’s Austin’s mate. He works with me. We were talking hidden like that because she’s just found out she’s pregnant and she wants my help to make a surprise party to tell Austin.”
My brows come down the bridge of my nose as I read the messages on screen. It’s between Nolan and this girl, Vivian. The picture on her profile is of her with another man, her mate, I believe. The texts begin minutes ago, where she sends Nolan some ideas about parties and videos of pregnancy revelation. She closes off with asking if Nolan found his mate and wishing him good luck.
I look up, cocking a brow. “You were hugging her because she told you she was pregnant?”
He nods. “Cubs are immensely important for us. It’s a great honor.”
“Cubs...” There are so many things I don’t know about shifters. This is my fault, and I know it. Nolan has been careful and patient, giving me time and space, not forcing anything upon me. “Do you want them?”
His brows shoot up, and he stutters for a moment. “Yeah. I’d like some. Every shifter does.”
I nod slowly. “There’s so much I don’t know about you and your culture.”
I watch his throat bobble. “I’ve been afraid of scaring you off. Overwhelming you. I don’t want you to think I’m demanding things.”
“Why did you never take me to the station?” I give him his phone back.
He puts it away. “Because you’re unmated. Being unmated, any guy can hit on you, and I don’t want that.” He shrugs. “Basically, I’d be jealous. I’d maybe punch someone. It wouldn’t be nice.”
A chuckle escapes my lips and I press them together to keep myself from laughing. “Unmated. What does that mean? It means being unmarried?”
He shakes his head, running his fingers through his smooth hair. “For shifters, being married doesn’t matter all that much. The mating bond clicks in place after the shifter marks the mate. I know that, for carnivores, it’s a bite to the neck. Not sure how it works for other animals.”
I swallow, touching my icy fingers to the column of my throat. “Like a vampire?”
He laughs. “No. No sucking of blood involved.”
“And what does it entail?”
His gaze is serious again, fixed to mine. “It means forever.”
Forever. Such a long time. So many things can happen in the in-between.
“But then... If you cheated on me or something, I would be forced to stay with you? Isn’t there divorce or anything?”
Nolan still doesn’t move. “No divorce because it’s not needed. Shifters don’t cheat. After the mating bond clicks into place, we can’t find anyone else attractive. It’s very permanent for us. You could leave, of course. I’d never bind you to me. But I wouldn’t have another life
parted from you. It’s not in our nature.”
Not in his nature. There’s nothing stronger than that. It’s in his genes. An incapacity to be mean to me. To hurt me.
It makes my heart swell. It takes my chest and makes a smile stretch my lips.
And I decide to believe in him.
Stretching an arm, I take his hand in mine. Nolan’s face changes to something so bright, so full of affection, I have no choice but to stand on my tiptoes and press a chaste kiss to his lips.
“Are we good?” He breathes against me, his free hand knotting in my hair.
“We are. Sorry I overreacted. I’ve been a little hesitant about taking this step with you...”
He shakes his head, his nose brushing mine. “I get it. That asshole out there takes the cake.”
“Right?” I chuckle, and everything feels lighter when I’m with him. “You’ve been so good to me. I was kind of expecting the other shoe to drop.”
Nolan folds his arms around me and kisses the top of my head. I snuggle closer to his chest. “I told you, kitten. Take your time. I’ll always wait for you.”
I take deep breaths of his scent, and something clicks in place.
Home. He’s home. The one thing I’ve ever needed. And I’m not letting this chance go.
EPILOGUE
NOLAN
Six Months Later
Faith’s grin doesn’t falter as I drive us home. She’s staring at the ring on her finger, her eyes glinting as we park in our usual spot. Beautiful. She’s never looked more beautiful in her jeans and T-shirt and her hair pulled back in a ponytail. Happiness is written across her face, her cheeks flushed as I turn the engine off and face her.
She chuckles. “I can’t believe you’ve done this.”
I shrug. “I was afraid you were going to think it was too hasty. So I had to do it very public so you would be ashamed to decline.”
She bursts in laughter. “But proposing in the middle of the hospital lobby as I leave my shift?”
“You’d have to face your co-workers, and they’d ask ‘why didn’t you accept the poor bastard?’,” I chuckle as I take her hand in mine and kiss her knuckles.
“Good plan. I would have said yes wherever you asked it. But the hospital was good. Watching you drop to your knee almost gave me a heart attack.”
I tap a forefinger to my temple. “Thought of everything.”
She chuckles, and the sound fills me, makes me proud. There’s nothing I love more. Her presence, her happiness, her love. I slip out of the car and open the door for her, and we walk into our apartment, hand in hand. We’ve moved in together four months ago. Both our schedules are tight, and we had to take every possible moment together. Moving in seemed wise.
And I’m ever grateful for the steps we’ve taken to this moment. Everything is perfect. Everything is moving smoothly, even if I had to develop some patience. But it’s for my mate. Can’t complain.
“So,” Faith starts as she flops her purse onto the couch. She turns and grips my hips between her hands. There’s a glint in her eyes I’ve learned to recognize. It’s lust coursing through her veins, telling me she wants to be taken. “Sex before dinner?”
I purr deep in my chest. “Can’t refuse that.”
Leaning, I take her lips with mine and there’s no moment to waste. Prying her lips open, I devour her, swiping my tongue over hers and tasting her. My hands run down her back to grip her plump ass, and I pull her to me. My cock hardens in a heartbeat, always anxious to have her.
My lion immediately begins to pace. Telling me to mate her. He hasn’t grown patient with the time. In fact, he’s become more and more unsettled. He doesn’t understand her need to wait. My need to give her space. He doesn’t give a shit.
He has tunnel-vision. Sleep, eat, and fuck are his only interests.
And fucking your mate with the mating bond is so much better than anything else in life. An experience we hadn’t lived through yet.
Faith slides my belt off and opens my pants. She steps away enough to take my length in her hand, jerking me off so slowly I catch my breath. She grins like a cat, rubbing her thumb over the slit of my cock, capturing any precome that seeps there.
Burying my hand in her hair, I tilt her head back and suck on her lower lip, letting it pop after a moment. “Such a tease. I wonder if you’ll keep this grin on when I suck your little pussy until you’re screaming my name.”
She shudders in expectation, even after all the times we’ve fucked each other. “There’s something I want to do before that.”
“Oh?” I take her earlobe between my teeth, nibbling on the skin. “What do you want to do?”
My other hand kneads on her breast, pinching her hard nipple, then down her stomach to my favorite place in the world. The heat between her legs makes me groan, and I rub two fingers over her clit, feeling her quiver beneath me.
“I want you to mate me.”
I pull back, her words settling in my brain. “Are you sure?”
Her gaze is riveted on me as she nods. “I think it’s about time.”
Nodding, I take her to our bedroom, and in moments we’re out of our clothes. My beautiful woman lies in our bed, her lower lip shaking, and it feels like the first time.
It will be, in a sense.
I kiss her, brushing my cock against her folds, covering it with her juices. She grips my hair as she presses her chest into my face, then rolls her hips and moans as I lick her perfect cunt. In moments, she forgets what this all means. The intensity of the moment.
Flipping her, I knead on her backside, spanking it a couple of times. She grins over her shoulder, tilting her hips up for my taking. So plump. So fucking hot.
Parting her ass-cheeks, I press a thumb to her back entrance, the way she likes. Faith’s eyelids flutter closed as I force my cock into her entrance. She takes me in, slowly, a long groan leaving her abused lips. Once I’m hilt-deep, my breath catching in my chest, I lean forward, covering her body with mine, and start to buck.
We make love, and we fuck, and bring each other pleasure. Curling an arm around her hips, I flick her clit, driving her even closer to the edge. She trembles, her eyes rolling to the back of her head.
Kissing her neck, I press my teeth to her shoulder. She doesn’t seem to notice, moving against me, seeking her release. I feel her inner walls clamping down around me, tightening more and more. That’s how I know she’s close. So close I can almost taste it.
I allow my lion closer to the surface. My teeth sharpen. With a gasp, she comes, and that’s when I bite her.
Faith cries out, her eyes snapping open to the sudden pain. But it immediately turns into fierce bliss for the two of us. The mating bond settles as I lick the wound and something like flame licks along my limbs. The tightness of her cunt seems to increase. Her juices cover me in waves, and every sense seems heightened.
She feels like heaven. Control snapping from me, I grunt in euphoria as I pick up my pace, fucking her into the mattress. Hard. Rough. Her moans and cries urge me on. The pulsing of her cunt as she comes again takes me there. I come inside her in a long, trembling sigh, and it finally fits. The puzzle pieces are in place.
When I drop next to her, her eyes shimmer with pure joy. She kisses me as she snuggles closer, and my heart is so full I can’t say a thing.
“I love you,” she sighs into the space between my neck and shoulder.
“I love you too,” I tell her, and the words come out weak, my voice raspy, but it’s the truth. It’s the one thing that matters.
Loving her. Forever.
EPILOGUE
FAITH
Ten Years Later
Releasing a sigh, I plop the last of the fried chicken onto a napkin-covered plate. Wow. It’s a huge pile. The biggest pile of fried chicken ever seen by mankind, I’m sure. I mean, how is it even holding? I’m surprised it hasn’t toppled off by now.
“Marco fell from a tree, but he’s fine,” Nolan says as he approaches me. First, he pr
esses a kiss to my temple. Then his attention is focused on the cake dough he had been mixing before a child’s scream reached us. “I swear, every time they scream like that, I think someone has died.”
I chuckle, whirling around to pick ketchup from the fridge. It is loaded with food, and it requires a bit of pushing for the door to close. We’re having extra kids for the weekend, after all. Austin and Vivian’s cubs are spending a couple of days with us so the two can have a quick outing.
And to think I thought Nolan was cheating on me with her. After everything was settled, he took me to the fire station so I could meet everyone. It was a quick meeting. It had to be. Nolan’s possessiveness made him almost bite one of the guy’s hand off when he touched me.
After I accepted he had made me fall head over heels, I sat down one day with Claire and we read everything we could about the shifter society. It turns out the mating bond and being faithful, and cubs are all common knowledge. For everyone, but for me.
Vivian’s become one of my closest friends after we met. She didn’t even bat an eye when I apologized for thinking Nolan was cheating on me with her. She’s the one who explained they’re physiologically incapable of that after finding their mates.
How sweet is that? Having a man that you are a hundred percent sure will never cheat on you?
A smile spreads across my face. It’s fantastic to know everything I’ve lived through has brought me to this. To Nolan. To our family. Even the pains I lived with my ex have brought me here. Have made me the person Nolan loves.
Nolan’s finger comes in view and he crosses it over my nose and cheeks. I jerk away, pressing a hand to my face as I squint at him.
“What the hell is this?” I snicker as I bring my hand back, finding it covered in cake dough.
“You had a smile on your face. What are you thinking about?” He asks with that grin I love and miss so much when he has to go to work.
I try to clean my face, shaking my head. “Just about how lucky I am of having found you. But I take that back.”
