by Grace Hugh
“Ow, oh god, please, Jans!”
“You want to fuck with me, Abel?”
“No! Jesus, no,” he cries all but blubbering.
Fuck, what a mess this kid is.
“Then you stay the fuck away from my sister,” I growl.
“It’s not up to me!”
“Isn’t it?” I ask my voice low.
It’s a trick I learned from Vinnie. A lot of guys yell and shout thinking that’s intimidating. It’s not nearly as effective as when you make them strain to hear your words. Then you know you have their full attention. They also know you’re serious. You don’t talk shit when you’re not yelling. It’s not hot blood and bullshit, it’s real when you talk soft.
“Okay, I get it, fuck I’m sorry, okay? I don’t even want this shit. I got no interest in her okay? Fuck me,” he whines.
“Fuck you? I’ll make sure you get fucked. You lay a hand on her, touch her in anyway, I’ll have a god damn train of guys come through to treat you like a prison bitch. You know what a prison bitch is, Abel?”
“Yes, god, let me go, Jans! It’s not my idea, I swear!”
“Good,” I say pushing hard on his chest before I let him go. “Clean yourself up, for fuck’s sake. You’re a man, look like one.”
I walk back into the party like nothing happened. That’s one problem taken care of.
I watch Jans walk off with some guy I don’t know out a rear door. My chest tightens and my heart feels constricted. I can’t help but smile realizing I’m jealous he’s doing something with that guy. I don’t have anything to worry about.
There’s a full band set up in the room with violins and everything playing music. Vinnie has gone all out. He takes my mom to the center of the room and they dance. I’m surprised by how good a dancer he is. They’re both light on their feet as they move around the floor and in moments others join them.
Jans walks back into the room and I’m drawn to him. The way he walks catches my eye, he carries himself like a tiger, he owns the room. People part around him without him saying a word or doing a thing. It’s the air of him that parts the sea of people like magic.
Between my legs is sore in a way that’s strangely pleasing. More of an ache and a desire to have him back in me again. A shiver runs down my spine as my thoughts turn back to earlier tonight. It was perfect. I don't think any girl could ask for better. And I feel confident that I pleased him, too. I'd been nervous about that. He's older and I'm sure he's had experience that I haven't had. I would've hated to disappoint him.
Our eyes meet across the ballroom and my heart stops. The emotions swelling in my chest are too much to be contained by my frail body. I want to run to him. Leap over this table and fly on the wings of love straight into his arms. He gives me that half smile, his lip curls, and I melt.
I'm his, always and forever, I want no other.
He breaks the gaze first and continues across the room. The game we are playing is dangerous. No one in here can know how we feel about each other. They'd never understand because in their eyes I'm Vinnie's daughter. It doesn't matter that it’s not true. He and my mom aren't married but this world is its own thing and more than anything Vinnie wouldn’t stand for losing face.
I dig in my purse at my feet and find my cell phone to check the time. All these people, milling about and talking, wanting my attention, is draining. I don't like these big gatherings, it's never been my thing, and I’m exhausted. Twenty more minutes and we can go home. I just have to survive the next twenty minutes.
Jans makes his way towards the gift table and me. As he approaches I can't stop my eyes drifting to the bulge in his suit pants. The way he fills them out is almost as great as the way he fills out a T-shirt and I know firsthand how impressive the bulge really is. I smile as he comes closer but can’t stop thinking about his cock.
"How's it going?" Jans asks, leaning against the table nonchalantly.
"Twenty minutes," I breathe.
"Until?"
"Until we can get the hell out of here," I reply.
Jans laughs. "Yeah. I figured as much."
"So will you go to the graduation party with me?"
"When is it again?"
"Tomorrow night," I say.
"I can't," he says shaking his head. "Vinnie made a bet, I've got a fight tomorrow."
My heart sinks, not only do I not want to go alone I don't like him fighting. I should be there to cheer him on and especially be there if something goes wrong. He must see the look on my face and read my dismay. He smiles, a full smile this time, and shakes his head.
"I'll win," he says like he’s reading my mind.
"Of course you will," I say.
His hand darts across the table and takes my fingers in his. He grabs my hand for just an instant and his confidence floods into me. Then he retreats and I’m cold and alone. He nods sharply then turns and wanders off. I know it's for the best but I hate it. I glance at my phone again, fifteen more minutes. I can do this.
I don't know why I'm at this graduation party. I don't like anybody here. I’ve got no friends in school. A few people I socially speak to, a couple of girls I eat lunch with, and that's it. I don't belong here. Jans dropped out of school two years ago and I've wondered since if he isn't the smarter one. If I drop out of school though I'll never be able to become a medical researcher. If I don't become a researcher then I can never fulfill the promise I made to myself after my dad died. I want to help make sure cancer doesn’t ruin anyone else’s life.
So I stick it out. And now, for whatever reason, I'm here at this graduation party. Someone's parents donated the use of their house for the party. It's a massive house just like Vinnie's. Everyone knows damn well there’ll be drinking so several parents got together and decided to host a controlled situation. Keys are taken when you come in and handed out once they're certain you're sober.
There are over a hundred kids standing around drinking, talking, and dancing. A pool dominates the backyard and a lot of people have gathered there. I've been here for thirty minutes and at least a dozen girls are swimming topless.
I’d never do that. I'm not looking for a boy, I have a man.
I wander from group to group visiting with those I know and sipping my drink.
"LeAnne, I'm so glad to see you here," one of the girls from school, Julia, says, walking up to me and holding her arms out for a hug.
I’ve never gotten along with her or even talked much with her before so I’m surprised by the sudden attention. Julia is a cheerleader and so are the three with her. We hug awkwardly as I try not to spill my drink. The other girls crowd around and one of them reaches over and takes my drink for me.
"Oh, here let me freshen that up for you," she says turning and heading to the kitchen before I can stop her.
"So we finally made it! Graduation! What are your plans?" Julia asks.
She's obviously been drinking. I can smell it on her breath and it's more than beer. She smiles big and laughs at nothing. I figure it's best just to play along with her.
"I'm planning on going to college, you?"
"Oh, I'll probably go to some college somewhere," she says laughing. "Mom and dad insist on it, even though I don't see the point. College is for girls who, well quite honestly, don't look like me."
"Oh, I see," I reply chuckling like it's funny and not one of the dumbest things I’ve ever heard.
Her friend returns and puts a full drink in my hand.
"Well, cheers to all of us," Julia says and all the girls raise their glasses.
I raise my glass, too, and they drink deeply so I follow suit.
"Is that Cordelia?" Julia says looking over my shoulder. "You'll have to excuse me, LeAnne. I absolutely have to talk to Cordelia."
"No problem," I say.
As the group walks away and I move towards another set of people I realize I don't feel well.
I'm not sure if it’s the smoke in the air or what but my head feels thick and my stomach is turning.<
br />
I head for the pool area hoping to get some fresh air. As I walk down the hallway the wall seems to twist and turn and the floor beneath me feels like it's shifting. I stop and lean against the wall focusing on my breathing. I'm not sure what's happening but something’s not right. My mouth is dry so I take another drink but it doesn't help. I'm dizzy and the room is closing in. I walk down the hall trying to get outside but I stumble and someone catches me. I look up but I’m having a hard time focusing my eyes so it takes me a moment to realize it’s Danny who caught me.
"Hey, LeAnne," he says.
I blink several times to clear my vision and see that two of his buddies are with him. It takes me a moment to remember who they are. The one on the right has a really bad black eye and the one on the left has a splint on his nose and his face looks swollen.
"Hey, Danny," I say, leaning on him more than I'd like.
"Hey, you don't look so well, you okay?" he asks.
"Don’t feel very good.”
"Ah, that's terrible. Here let me help you somewhere so you can sit down."
I want to tell him no. I think no but I'm sure it doesn't come out of my mouth. I lean into him because my knees are too weak to hold myself up. All I can think of is Jans. Why isn’t he here? I need him, not Danny.
I want Jans.
I won Vinnie's money for him.
Big Tony's fighter was good, real good, but not better than me. I'm the fucking best. The shit part is the fight went for four rounds. I thought I had him in the second but he broke free of my hold. I work my jaw and it cracks loudly. He hit me hard enough to knock it out of place, guy hits like a fucking truck.
I gun my car pushing to try and get to LeAnne's graduation party faster. I want to surprise her. I worried somebody from the family or one of Vinnie’s crew might spot us there but I decided that was stupid. Why would mafia guys be at a high school graduation party? I pull up in front of the address or as close as I can get. It’s half a block away and there’s so many damn cars. I jog down the sidewalk following the sound of music and as I get closer there are kids standing around the lawn or walking up and down the sidewalk drinking. It's late enough in the night no one is paying much attention so I walk right in.
The house is huge and there are hundreds of kids in here most of them drunk. I don't want to spend all night looking for LeAnne so I grab every third guy I see and ask if he’s seen LeAnne. They look at me stupidly and shrug. I spot one of the guys from the football team. His face is bruised and banged up and I remember he hangs out with that douche bag Danny who liked to harass LeAnne. He’s one of the dicks I beat down at the hotel. I make my way to him and tap him on the shoulder and when he turns around his eyes go wide. Something’s wrong, LeAnne’s in trouble.
"Where is she?" I growl.
"Uh, man, uh, I haven't, yeah, haven't seen her, yeah," he stutters.
"You trying to piss me off?"
The music of the party is loud and pounding. The bass beats against my bones. My blood pressure is still up from the fight and it's taking every ounce of control I have to not pound this kid’s face more. I lean in close threatening the boy. He blanches.
"No, man no," he says stepping backwards spilling his beer. "Shit."
"Going to be the least of your problems in about two seconds."
"I wasn’t part of it," he says holding his hands up and dropping the beer.
"Take me to her," I say.
He shakes his head side to side but moves. I follow him but he's too fucking slow so I push him in the back, hard.
"Ow, I'm going," he says.
"Faster fuck bag," I say.
He pushes his way through the party and we enter a hallway with no people. He leads me to a door at the end. As we approach I hear boys giggling on the other side.
"I don't want to be second," somebody says.
I grab the kid in front of me by the back of his shirt and shove him forward and through the door. The latch explodes out as it slams back and hits the wall with a resounding thud. Danny and two of his cronies turn and look at me, their mouths dropping open and their eyes wide. All three of them have their pants off. Their hard-ons shrivel seeing me. Past Danny, I see LeAnne with her pants pulled down to her knees and looking out of it.
I see red, it’s clear what was about to happen.
"What in the holy fuck?" I say and my voice is barely above a whisper.
“Hey!” one of the idiots yells. “You’re the guy from the elevator!”
I tear my eyes from LeAnne and focus on Danny. He’s the leader. I know this is his idea and he’s the one who has to pay.
He raises his hands up palms out towards me. I take one threatening step forward my hands balling into fists. Adrenaline dumps into my system, my muscles twitch and my heart rate increase.
"It's not what it looks like," Danny says.
The boy to his left doesn't hesitate, he leaps forward and swings wildly. I duck and drive my fist into his gut. He doubles over woofing out air. As he comes down I rise up with my other fist taking him under the jaw. His head cracks back and blood flies and some of his teeth do, too. He flips up into the air and over onto his back. One down, two to go.
"Oh, fucking Christ!" the boy on the right says, tears streaming down his face. "I didn't want to do this, they made me."
"Fuck you," I say.
"Look, it was just a joke, okay?" Danny says backing up from me.
I stalk him as rage beats in time with my heart. LeAnne stirs on the bed and my eyes flicker to her.
"Jans?" she asks.
Danny continues to back up until his back comes up against the sliding glass door. Something hits me over the head and everything flashes white as I see stars. My knees shake and I almost fall but it's gonna take more than that to stop me. I roar as I turn around and see the other boy with the remains of a wooden table in his hands shaking and crying.
"I'm sorry," he begs backing away from me. "It wasn't my idea. I don't want to be here. I'm sorry! Fuck, I'm so fucking sorry."
He backpedals until he runs into the wall on the far side of the room. Fight or flight kicks in and he charges at me. I drop low to receive his attack. He screams as he runs and at the last instant I step to one side and set my right foot in front of him and kick into his shin with my left. As he flies forward I wrap my arm around his neck and place him in a choke hold. I drop to the ground pulling him down. I want to choke him out but as I drop to my knees I hear a snap.
The sound is clear as a bell. I know, the way only a fighter can, I know what happened. Such a subtle sound, no loud fanfare, no excessive screams, just a split second and a soft crack. This boy isn't getting back up. An accident.
There’s no time to feel anything about what I’ve just done. There’s a metal click and a ratchet sound behind me. Another sound I know too well, this one from having grown up with Vinnie. I stand up slowly and put my arms out to either side and raise my hands into the air as I turn towards Danny. He's holding a thirty-eight aimed at me. His hands shake, sweat runs down his face, and his lips are pulled back baring his teeth. The gun in his hand is shaking so hard I'm fairly sure he'll miss, but I can't risk him hitting LeAnne.
"New game now, huh, mother fucker?" Danny says.
I don't say anything, just stare and wait. He thinks he's taken control but I've had guns held on me by men colder than him. He's an idiot with a toy in his hand and has no idea what he’s doing.
"Throw my pants over here," Danny says motioning with the gun at the pair of pants by my feet.
I look down at them then slowly raise my eyes back to Danny.
"No."
"God dammit, I have the gun, you have to do what the fuck I say," he says.
I shake my head. "No."
I take a step forward and Danny raises the gun towards my head. He’s shaking so hard he might shoot me by accident. I don't care. He's going to pay for what he tried to do.
"It wasn't supposed to be like this," Danny says, tears joining the
sweat on his face. "It was just a fucking joke."
"You think," I say very softly "that doing something like this to a girl is a joke?"
"We weren’t supposed to really do it," he says. "It's just, fuck, she's always such a bitch."
"Do you know who I am?"
"Yeah," he says.
"Do you know what my father does?"
His jaw chatters and the gun waivers even more as his muscles tremble. He trembles like he's about to collapse. Slowly he nods and swallows hard, the gun dips down.
"Yeah," he says.
"So what do you think a man like my dad would do to a kid like you if he was to find out what you’re doing here?"
"Fuck!"
The gun dips further and his eyes dart to LeAnne. I make my move, stepping left so that if he does shoot I'm between the gun and LeAnne. He reacts, raising the gun, and I swing at his bicep. A deceptively dangerous attack. The kind of attack only a fighter like me knows. Idiots think the only place to hit are the sensitive bits like the jaw, the throat, or the nuts. They underestimate the damage that attacking major muscles can do. As I make contact with his arm his finger spasms and pulls the trigger of the gun. Fire explodes in my right shoulder and I'm spun sideways. I see stars as the pain receptors in my brain are overwhelmed. Danny screams and I growl swinging with my right. It hurts so bad I almost scream, too, but I don't let it stop me. I hit him in the throat and then swing with my left and take him in the jaw. He drops to the ground.
Blood runs down across my arm and chest. It looks like the bullet went clean through but it hurts like a son of a bitch. I don't have time for this. I make sure Danny's out then turn back to LeAnne. As I pull her pants up I realize the sounds of the party have stopped and sirens are approaching. This isn't good.
"Jans?"
"Yeah baby, I'm here," I say.
"I don't feel good," she says.
"I know sweetness. I'm here," I say.
The sirens are right outside the house and the room is lit up in flashing red and blue lights. The red accents the blood on my chest in weird ways. It becomes more crimson, a deeper red, almost cartoonish. I lift LeAnne up and hold her with my good arm. My right is going numb and I'm having a hard time controlling it. There are cops outside. They’re loud and obnoxious as they storm through the party breaking up the event, shouting questions, looking for answers.
