First published by Allen & Unwin in 2017
Copyright © Text, Marcus Emerson 2012
Copyright © Illustrations, David Lee 2012
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording or by any information storage and retrieval system, without prior permission in writing from the publisher. The Australian Copyright Act 1968 (the Act) allows a maximum of one chapter or ten per cent of this book, whichever is the greater, to be photocopied by any educational institution for its educational purposes provided that the educational institution (or body that administers it) has given a remuneration notice to the Copyright Agency (Australia) under the Act.
Allen & Unwin
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Australia
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A Cataloguing-in-Publication entry is available
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ISBN 9781760295561
eISBN 9781952535789
Cover design by Marcus Emerson and Sandra Nobes
Text design by Sandra Nobes
Cover and internal illustrations by David Lee
Set by Sandra Nobes
www.marcusemerson.com
For my wife,
who hates it when I talk like a pirate…
Contents
Begin reading
Monday. Art class.
Monday. Gym class.
Tuesday. Homeroom.
Tuesday. Gym class.
Wednesday. Homeroom.
Wednesday. Gym class.
Thursday. Gym class.
Thursday. Five minutes later. Gym class.
Friday. Homeroom.
Friday. Gym class.
Friday. My dad’s car.
Friday. Buchanan School lobby.
Friday. Dance ′Til Ya Drop.
Friday. Five minutes later. Norwegian obstacle course.
My name is Chase Cooper and since this is my second diary (my dad still insists I call it a chronicle), I’ll fill you in on what’s happened so far. But first a little bit about myself.
Here’s my self-portrait. Ladies, please remain calm.
I’m still eleven years old and still a scrawny dude. As much as I want to say being a ninja bulked me up a bunch, it hasn’t. But that’s a good thing since a beefy ninja would look weird.
Buchanan School has been good to me. I was the new kid at the start of the year, but nobody really gave me gruff about it. Cool kids and sports stars fill the hallways between classes, and I do my best to stay off everyone’s radar.
I’m what some people might call a ‘comic book nerd’ but I prefer the term ‘aficionado’, which means I’m less of a nerd more of an expert. It’s a term I learned from my cousin, Zoe. She’s the coolest cousin in the world, but don’t tell her I said that.
I’ve become better friends with Brayden, the werewolf hunter, but I wouldn’t say we’re best friends. We’ve hung out a couple of times outside of school to watch bad horror movies and make fun of them. Trust me when I say it’s a lot more fun than it sounds. Zoe came over once and even she laughed a couple of times.
About a month has passed since I finished my first diary chronicle. In case you forgot: Wyatt was busted for the theft of all the money raised for the food drive. Since he confessed, there was no reason for the teachers to do any investigating, so the secret ninja clan is safe and still secret. You’ll also be happy to hear that Wyatt was expelled from Buchanan. I don’t know exactly which school he’s at right now, and frankly, I don’t give a spew about it.
Oh, and all that has led me up to this point, but you’ve probably figured it out by now. I’m still a ninja, but I’m also the new leader of the ninja clan.
I fought it at first for a couple of reasons. One – it was because of the ninja clan that I got my butt handed to me during the first week of school. And two – I was only a ninja for less than a week, so how was I supposed to lead an entire clan without any ninjutsu experience? In the end, Zoe convinced me that I shouldn’t let the opportunity go, and I finally agreed with her.
Brayden had begged me to let him into the clan but since I was a new leader, I didn’t want it to seem like I was in it just so my friends could join. I told him he’d have to wait a few months. He wasn’t too happy with the decision.
I also agreed to become the leader because the day Wyatt was busted, one of the ninjas approached me and said Buchanan School was in danger of a pirate invasion.
I know, right? Pirates invading a school? I thought it was just a joke … as it turns out, it wasn’t.
The whole thing can be traced back to early Monday morning in homeroom. How can I remember exactly when it started? Because it was the most annoying thing in the world. It was ‘Talk Like A Pirate’ morning.
‘Arrrrrr, mateys!’ Brayden said as he entered the room.
I sighed the moment I heard him. ‘Please,’ I said as I shut my eyes. ‘Not you too.’
‘Lighten up,’ Zoe said, turning around in her seat to face me. ‘Just ’cause you hate pirates doesn’t mean you have to ruin it for the rest of us. Besides, it’s just for the morning. It’ll stop after homeroom.’
‘It’s not that I hate pirates,’ I said. ‘It’s that I hate people talking like them, but y’know what? It’s not even that really. It’s more that people are acting in the middle of school and not even good acting! They’re all just going around yelling, “Arrrr, matey!”’
‘Acting?’ Brayden asked. ‘You mean like in drama club or something?’
‘Yeah,’ I said. ‘It’s super annoying.’
Zoe curled her lip. ‘How ‘bout you keep it to yourself then?’ She lowered her voice and whispered, ‘It’s not like anyone is making fun of you for dressing in black pyjamas during gym class and running around as a ninja.’
I shook my head. ‘Not the same thing.’
‘I’m sure it’s not,’ Zoe said, nodding her head and giving me a thumbs-up. It was obvious she was mocking me, but she meant it playfully. ‘Mister ninja leader.’
I folded my arms. I hated when she called me that, and she knew it. Being the leader of a ninja clan wasn’t easy, and I wasn’t sure if I was doing a good job of it. I knew the name was a joke, but part of me couldn’t help but feel like I was the real joke.
Anyways, everywhere I turned, kids were talking like pirates. It was awful, but I couldn’t get away from it, so maybe Zoe was right and I should lighten up.
‘Sorry,’ I said to Brayden.
‘It’s cool,’ he replied. ‘For a second I thought you were gonna use your awesome nunchaku skills to helicopter out of here. Isn’t that what you do? Don’t ninjas do that?’
‘No,’ I started to say, but Zoe interrupted me.
‘I heard that ninjas can throw an uppercut so fast that it actually travels backwards in time and punches the baby version of the victim!’
‘Har har,’ I said, faking a laugh. ‘Very funny.’
Brayden continued. ‘I heard that some ninjas just paint themselves black and run around naked because wearing clothes isn’t hardcore enough. Any truth to that?’
I sighed and sunk down in my seat.
Brayden laughed. ‘Shiver me timbers! It’s only a joke, mate!’
I ground my teeth, but I forced a smile. Homeroom was only fifteen minutes long, and all I had to do was wait it out.
The clock on the wall ticked over and the bell rang out, signalling the start of the school day. The homeroom teacher, Mrs Robinson, leaned back in her chair and started mak
ing the announcements for the day.
‘Arrr, mateys!’ said Mrs Robinson as she cracked a smile and squeezed one eye shut. ‘Ya scurvy sailors can call me ‘One-Eyed Robinson!’’
The entire room full of students responded, shouting, ‘Arrrrrr!’
It would’ve made me angry if it weren’t actually funny.
‘Here be the announcements, ye scallywags!’ Mrs Robinson continued. She was younger than most teachers and by far the prettiest one at the school. And by pretty, I mean she wasn’t so old that her face looked like it was trying to run away from her skull. ‘Firstly, I must thank the lot of ye for joinin’ me in this wonderful celebration of talkin’ like a pirate!’
Several students grumbled in response. I think they were saying ‘You’re welcome’ in their own pirate way. I don’t think grammar was too important to them.
‘Secondably,’ Mrs Robinson said, confirming the bit about grammar I just mentioned. ‘At the end of the week, thar be the event ‘Dance ’Til Ya Drop’, in which all ye students be required to participate.’
It seems Buchanan School hosts an event every month. Last month, it was the food drive. This month, it’s an event to raise awareness of cardiovascular diseases and also to help students live healthier lives. It’s called ‘Dance ’Til Ya Drop’, and the point is to get adults to pledge a certain amount of money for the amount of time you promised to dance for. The whole thing was going to be two hours long so the idea was to dance the entire two hours anyhow, or at least until you dropped.
‘The school will host an assembly at the end of the day on Friday,’ said Mrs Robinson. ‘Then the official event be held at five o’clock sharrrrrp. The night-time event be mandatory. Lest ye have an excuse from yer parents, I expect t’see ya thar!’
‘Are you going?’ I asked Zoe.
She turned in her desk. ‘Aye, matey. Aren’t you?’
I sighed. ‘If there were any way I could get out of it, I would.’
‘It’ll be fun,’ said Zoe.
Mrs Robinson was still talking. ‘Remember, there be a prize fer the student who brings in the most money – a trip fer yer family to Hawaii and the opportunity to change the Buchanan School mascot!’
That’s right. A trip to Hawaii and permission to switch the mascot from a wildcat to whatever the winner wanted. Buchanan’s had the same mascot for a billion years and the school was planning on changing it anyway, so I guess they figured making it a prize would get kids to try harder to raise money. They were right.
Mrs Robinson droned on with a bunch of other announcements nobody really cared about – pizza for lunch, something about graffiti in the boys’ bathroom, stuff about issuing library cards.
Zoe shook her head. She turned around and whispered, ‘Seems like a mistake to put the fate of our mascot in the hands of a 6th grader.’
‘I don’t know,’ Brayden said. ‘I think it’s really cool of them. If I win it, I’m gonna make it an alien. Could you imagine that? The Buchanan Aliens?’
‘Yep. Mistake,’ Zoe said. ‘Matey.’
I rolled my eyes.
Zoe must’ve noticed because she chuckled at me. ‘Don’t look so stressed. This whole thing might be annoying, but it’s all in good fun.’
‘Sure,’ I said. ‘My own cousin has betrayed me … speaking like a pirate when she knows I hate it.’
Jabbing me in the shoulder, she spoke again, softer this time. ‘You know I’ve got your back no matter what. Even if it means going deep undercover someday, I’ll always side with you.’
I nodded, glancing at the clock, hoping it was time to dismiss so we could be done with the pirate shenanigans.
Mrs Robinson shuffled a few sheet of papers, making sure she had all the announcements, um … announced. Finally, she smiled and looked up from her notes. ‘Avast! It be time t’part ways!’
Everyone let out one last ‘Arrrrrr’ and started filtering through the door and into the hallway. My next period was art class, which I shared with Zoe and Brayden. Buchanan allowed the sixth graders to set their school schedules to be similar to middle school. They say it allows the transition into seventh grade to be smoother and less traumatic, but I have my doubts about that.
When I arrived at art class, Zoe and Brayden were already there and talking to a new student. The kid was sitting in the desk next to Zoe, which happened to be my desk, but since I’m such a cool guy, I didn’t say anything.
‘Just so you know,’ I said, ‘that’s my seat.’
Okay, maybe I said a little something.
‘Sorry, mate,’ said the new kid as he lifted his book bag off the floor. ‘But don’t ye know that nothing’s sacred in a pirate invasion?’
I put my hand out, gesturing for him to stop speaking. It looked like I was telling him I knew what he was saying, but really I was only trying to get him to shut his pirate mouth. The art desks were arranged in clumps of four, and the two directly across from him were empty, so I took a seat in one of those. The sixth graders didn’t have assigned seats anyways so it’s not like I could’ve done anything. ‘Nobody sits over here. You can have that desk.’
The new kid smiled. ‘Thank ye, kind sir.’
I raised my eyebrows. ‘But only if you stop talking like a pirate.’
Just then, Mr Richardson entered the room and let out a shout. ‘Arrrr, mateys!’
Great, I thought. Apparently the art teacher didn’t get the memo about how talking like a pirate was supposed to be only during homeroom. The entire class erupted in laughter and replied to him in the same way.
‘Seems we have a new student joinin’ us today,’ Mr Richardson said. ‘Everybody welcome Carlyle.’
Zoe turned to face the new kid. ‘Cool name.’
‘I have my parents to thank for that,’ Carlyle said.
This made Zoe giggle in a weird way. I also noticed that her eyelashes fluttered. Gross. My cousin just fell in crush at first sight.
I didn’t want to be rude to Carlyle since I was pretty new at the school myself, but honestly I was happy that I wasn’t the newest kid anymore. I leaned forward in my desk. ‘It’s nice to meet you, Carlyle. My name’s Chase.’
The new kid stared at me for a moment. The awkward silence was definitely awkward. Finally, his lips cracked a smirk. ‘Ahoy, Chase. Pleasure to make yer acquaintance.’
I tightened a smile and ignored the way he spoke. Luckily it was Brayden who said something.
‘Oh, that whole pirate thing was just for homeroom,’ said Brayden.
Zoe jumped to Carlyle’s defence. ‘So what if he wants to keep it going? I think it’d be pretty cool if he did. Besides, Richardson spoke like that when he walked into the room. Maybe it should be the entire day.’
Brayden raised his hands in surrender. ‘You’re right. Nothing wrong with that.’
Carlyle slowly turned toward me and spoke. ‘Do ya mind, matey? If I were to speak to ya in pirate tongue?’
It took all my strength to look at him and not laugh. ‘Not at all. It’s a free country.’
To be honest, the rest of art class wasn’t horrible. For a new kid, Carlyle seemed like a stand-up guy. He hit it off instantly with most of the others in class with the way he continued to speak like a pirate. Part of me was impressed that a new kid at a new school would have the guts to do something so odd on his first day. He even made a few jokes that made me laugh.
So I didn’t really mind seeing him in the same gym class as Zoe, Brayden and I. Obviously Zoe was a little more excited than I was.
Brayden and I had already changed into our gym clothes and were waiting out on the basketball court for the other students and the gym teacher, Mr Cooper, to arrive.
When Carlyle walked out of the locker room, he joined us, probably since we just had art class together and we were the only kids he knew.
‘Oh em gee!’ cried Zoe as she exited the girls’ locker room. ‘I can’t believe you’re in this class too!’
Carlyle nodded. ‘Aye.’
‘Well that’s just …’ Zoe said with a twinkle in her eye. ‘That’s just somethin’, ain’t it?’
When the rest of the students were standing on the gymnasium floor, Mr Cooper started making the rounds, checking off names from the attendance list. After he checked my name off, he looked at Carlyle.
‘New kid, huh?’ Mr Cooper said without looking up from his clipboard. ‘Carlyle’s your name?’ ‘And plunderin’s me game,’ Carlyle said.
Mr Cooper’s face didn’t move. ‘Nice,’ he said with no emotion, scratching a checkmark on his clipboard. Then he looked up and spoke loudly. ‘Same as before, children – basketball in here, soccer out in the field, and laps around the track for the unmotivated. For anyone interested, there’s an obstacle course out there, but y’know whatever … Do what you feel like.’
It was pretty obvious that Mr Cooper didn’t love his job.
I started walking swiftly to the gym doors, but slowed down once I realised Brayden and Zoe weren’t keeping up. They were lagging behind, talking to Carlyle.
‘So where did you move here from?’ Zoe asked.
Carlyle scratched the back of his head. ‘Oh no, my family didn’t move or anything. I open enrolled so I could attend here. I heard some pretty nice things about you guys.’
‘Like what?’ I asked, happy that Carlyle had stopped the pirate nonsense.
‘Like the way Buchanan allows sixth graders more freedom than other schools.’
‘What school did you come from?’ Brayden asked.
‘Williams,’ Carlyle replied.
Brayden gasped quietly. ‘That’s where Wyatt was shipped off to.’
So that’s where he was forced to go, I thought. ‘I guess it’s lucky that Carlyle got out of there while he could then,’ I added.
Carlyle paused. ‘Who’s Wyatt?’
Zoe shrugged her shoulders. ‘No one special. Just a bully who used to go here, but he was expelled after the first week of school.’
‘Really…’ Carlyle said. ‘For what?’
Pirate Invasion Page 1
