“POISON!” Everyone in the room gasped. Harald’s face was ashen. The King and Queen were shocked.
“Oh dear!” said Thorfinn. “Will Mr Goat-Gobbler be alright?”
“I’m not sure yet. It depends what type of poison it is.” Oswald began sniffing the platters, in particular the platter of smoked salmon that the King was about to eat from. “Hmmm.”
“This is an outrage!” cried Magnus, looking dramatically outraged. He leaned in to the King. “Your Majesty, someone here has tried to poison you. The entire village should be burned to the ground.”
“No,” replied the King. “If someone has poisoned the food then whoever is in charge of the food is to blame.” He turned to his guards. “Arrest the chef.”
“Dear me, I wouldn’t dream of such a thing,” Thorfinn laughed. Two guards grabbed Thorfinn’s arm.
“No, wait!” cried Harald, heading for the guards.
Magnus blocked his way. “Yes, quite right,” he addressed the King. “But you should burn the village down anyway; it spoils the view for all the tourists.”
“Oh not again,” the Queen protested. “It so saddens me to see you burning villages.”
The King hesitated for a moment, then looked to his wife. “Very well, dear, as you wish. But take the chef to the stocks!”
“Yes,” said Magnus, “and pelt him with rotten fruit.”
Gertrude jumped in front of the King and flung her arms out. “No, nots Thorfinn. Why would Thorfinn poison the King? Why?”
“Who cares?” said Magnus. “He’s the one in charge, so it’s his fault. Are you questioning his Majesty?” He turned again to the King. “You see how insubordinate this lot are. How about catapulting them all into the sea, instead? I’ve got a cartload of tourists who’d pay to watch.”
Oswald was still sniffing the platters on the table. He raised his head. “Thorfinn had no reason to poison the King and bring disaster to our village. We need to find out who poisoned the food.”
But the guards weren’t listening. They were dragging Thorfinn towards the door.
CHAPTER 15
“You can’t do this to Thorfinn!” cried Velda, jumping between him and the door, her arms outstretched, while Percy flapped at the men’s heads to try and put them off. The room fell silent.
“It’s quite alright,” said Oswald. “You can continue with the feast. Only the smoked salmon was poisoned.”
“But how do you know?” asked Harald.
“I know what poison was used – the juice from an arctic berry that grows in the hills above the fjord. It has a zingy, acidy smell, which I can only smell on this one platter.”
“Are you sure?” Harald picked up a fork and sampled one of the other platters. After a moment, he shrugged. “Tastes about as fine as fish tastes, which is pretty yucky.”
“Pardon me, old friend,” said Thorfinn, who wasn’t remotely bothered that two burly guards were manhandling him. “But what about poor Mr Goat-Gobbler? Is the poison dangerous?”
Oswald shook his head. “The berries are only mildly poisonous to humans, just enough to give the King and Queen a stomach upset. But it would have been more than enough reason for the King to burn down our village.” Oswald turned and fixed his brow on Magnus. “And who do we know that wants rid of our village?”
Meanwhile, Percy landed on Magnus’s shoulder and started nibbling at a small pouch that was hanging from his breast strap.
“Why are you looking at me?” asked Magnus.
“Hey, he was in the kitchen snooping around while we were cooking,” said Velda. “I wondered what he was up to.”
“Those berries may be poisonous to humans, but birds love them,” said Oswald.
Suddenly the pouch burst open and hundreds of tiny red berries spewed out. Magnus glanced down at the mound on the floor, then looked up. Everyone in the room, including the King, was glaring at him.
“Of course you did it!” said Harald, his eye twitching fiercely. “You wanted our village burnt down to make way for your four-wheel-drive chariot tours.”
Magnus began retreating. “Now look, it’s nothing personal, business is business.”
He backed into Gertrude, who whacked him on the head with a frying pan.
BOIIIIIINNNNNGGGG!
“OW! That REALLY hurt!” He rubbed his head, dodged round her and ran towards the kitchen.
“STOP HIM!” cried Harald.
Grut stepped in the way and thrust out his belly. Magnus bounced off it.
BOIIIIIINNNNNGGGG!
He reeled in front of Velda, who yelled and thrust her leg at his face.
“HI-YAA!”
He parried the kick away. “You’ll have to do better than that, little girl.” Magnus turned to find Oswald staring at him from close range. “What’s this, old man?”
Oswald suddenly dropped his stick and jumped in the air. His legs cracked apart and his heel SMACKED against Magnus’s chin.
He sounded like an albatross throwing up.
“OOF!” Magnus’s eyes crossed for a moment and he staggered.
Velda turned to Olaf. “See? I told you he’s an old master.”
“And I told you I was saving myself,” added Oswald.
Olaf puffed out his cheeks. “Well, you learn something new every day!”
Magnus looked around frantically for another escape route, then dived out the window…
CRASH!
…into the chicken coop outside. There was a barrage of angry clucking from the chickens.
Thorfinn threw open the door of the great hall to see him tearing away, chased by a dozen pecking birds.
Up ahead, Harek was crossing the street carrying a very long plank of wood. He was on his way to repair the hull of their longship. Magnus ducked underneath the plank and kept running.
Velda put her fingers in her mouth and whistled. “Hey, Harek!”
Harek turned round, and so did the long wooden plank.
WHACK!
Magnus crashed to the ground, while Harek waved back at Velda. “COO-EEE!”
Thorfinn turned to his father and beamed proudly. “They’re a great team, my crew, aren’t they?”
CHAPTER 16
Magnus was dragged away by the guards, while the Queen tried the food and assured everyone it was delicious.
“How lovely,” said Thorfinn. “Now, if I may, I’d best make a start on the washing-up.” He bowed, then returned to the kitchens with Percy, leaving everyone else to enjoy the feast.
A short while later his crew burst in to find him and Percy at the sink. Thorfinn’s sleeves were rolled up, and he was calmly scrubbing pots and humming to himself.
“Thorfinn, the feast was a great success!” cried Velda. “The Queen said the pickled sturgeon was the best she had ever tasted.”
“And the seared plaice… and the stuffed turbot…and the charbroiled bream!” added an even-more-excited-if-that’s-even-possible Harek.
Harald was with them too. “This will be the making of our village.”
A cry soon went up through the hall: “BRING IN THE CHEF!”
“The Queen wants to thank you,’” said Harald.
Gertrude nudged Thorfinn. “On you goes boss! You’ve earned it.”
“My dear friends,” replied Thorfinn with a little smile. “We all did this together. Either we go in as a team or not at all.”
So, a moment later Thorfinn entered the great hall leading his entire crew, all dressed up in their white chefs’ outfits. Even Grut, who was still suffering and had to be carried in by Torsten and Harek.
Everyone – including the King and Queen – stood and cheered. “That was the best seafood I have ever tasted, Thorfinn,” the Queen said. “And this has truly been our finest feast.”
“Well done, young man,” added the King. “And thanks to your pet for identifying the true poisoner.”
Percy seemed to bow from his perch on Thorfinn’s shoulder.
“Did I mention he’s my son, your Highnes
s?” replied Harald.
“Indeed? Then you should be very proud.”
Harald beamed. “I am.”
“Pleeeaase come back again, your Highnesses,” screeched Gertrude. “Next time I’ll cooks you a nice dung-beetle hotpot.”
At that point the applause stopped.
***
After the feast, Harald, Erik and the others dragged Magnus to the marketplace where they locked him in the stocks and pelted him with fruit and vegetables.
“You can’t do this!” Magnus yelled. “I’m a chief! It’s not fair!”
“Think yourself lucky, Bone-Breaker!” cried Erik. “If it wasn’t for the Queen begging for your life you’d have been catapulted into the sea.”
“I beg your pardon, dear Father,” said Thorfinn, interrupting Harald just as he was launching a giant soggy cauliflower towards Magnus’s head.
“I do so hate to bother you, but what shall I do with all the leftover fish?”
Harald’s eyes lit up. “I have a great idea.” He divided out the remaining fish between Thorfinn’s crew. “Let’s chuck them at Magnus.”
“OUCH! YUCK! STOP IT!” Magnus cried as they bombarded him. “I HATE fish!”
“So do we!” cried Velda as she span round like a discus thrower and let loose a giant flounder towards his face.
“It’s DIS-GUSTING!” cried Gertrude.
“Oh dear.” Thorfinn shook his head. “What a strange and delightful bunch.” He tapped his shoulder and Percy flapped onto it. “There’s a good bird. Now let’s go home for tea.”
Copyright
Young Kelpies is an imprint of Floris Books
First published in 2016 by Floris Books
This eBook edition published in 2016
Text © 2016 David MacPhail. Illustrations © 2016 Floris Books
David MacPhail and Richard Morgan have
asserted their rights under the Copyright,
Designs and Patent Act 1988 to
be identified as the Author and Illustrator of this work
All rights reserved. No part of this book may
be reproduced without the prior permission
of Floris Books, Edinburgh
www.florisbooks.co.uk
British Library CIP data available
eISBN 9781782502326
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Thorfinn and the Disgusting Feast Page 4
