‘I’m going to ask Luke to take a DNA test,’ Jack announced.
Matt’s expression was one of shock, incredulity. ‘Luke’s left home – he’s upset, he’s angry, he’s still mourning his mother, and he’s far from fit – and you want to kick him when he’s down.’
‘I need to know the truth, Matt. I need to know if Annie left me because she had an affair. It’s eating me up inside.’ It was hard for Jack to voice aloud the feelings he’d kept under wraps since he’d been hit with this whole bloody mess, but it was time for everyone to face reality. Luke might not be a Stewart.
‘So you’ll have a DNA test to make you feel better. Even if it turns Luke against you.’
Matt’s voice was dripping with contempt, and Jack almost lost his nerve. Almost. ‘Luke’s already moved out. He’s not talking to me. Now he’s involved with this protest against Stewart Enterprises. How could things get any worse?’
‘And if it turns out he’s not your son – what then?’ Matt was watching him closely.
‘He’ll still be Annie’s son. I’ll see he’s okay.’
‘Yeah – right.’ Matt got up from the sofa and left the living room, slamming the door behind him. Now he’d sulk because Jack had put a question mark over the one thing he’d always wanted – a brother. A need that had made Matt blindly accept Luke as his own flesh and blood. And now Jack would be painted as the bad guy because he couldn’t put on the greatest acting performance since Olivier’s Hamlet and accept Luke without question. Asking for a DNA test was a hell of a risk to take. Being the only one willing to face the truth could make Jack a very lonely man. He’d postpone his decision till Monday. The weekend spent with Emer would calm him and help him see things with greater clarity.
Kate stepped out of the bathroom wearing pyjama shorts that emphasised her slim legs, and a thin top that left little to the imagination. This was the moment she’d been dreaming about since she’d met Luke. Lust at first sight had deepened into love, and she was sure he felt the same. Now they were alone in their own space, with no parents around to disapprove.
‘I’ve got something for you,’ she said. Luke was in bed, eyeing her with obvious appreciation.
‘So I see,’ he replied.
She giggled and threw a key to him.
‘What’s this?’
‘The key to Betsy’s heart,’ she teased. ‘Betsy is Tim’s old car – a nice little Corsa. He said you can use it whenever you want.’
‘You’re kiddin’!’
‘Absolutely not. And don’t you go getting all hung up on charity or whatever. Tim just wants you to feel a bit independent.’
‘Will I phone him now to thank him?’
Kate slipped between the sheets and took the key, placing it on the bedside table. ‘No, you won’t.’
For a moment, they just looked at each other. ‘Hello, handsome,’ she whispered, placing her hand against his cheek and leaning forward to kiss him. His response was soft, gentle, increasing in passion, and Kate pushed him back against the pillows as she kissed his neck and throat. She wasn’t his first but she was determined to be his last – and best. She moved slowly down his body, caressing his arms and shoulders, and planting light, teasing kisses on his chest. Luke’s breathing was becoming rapid. Her hand lingered on a circular scar on his shoulder. ‘Poor baby,’ she whispered. ‘How did you get that?’
Luke gently pulled her hands away from his body and whispered, ‘Let’s just cuddle tonight, okay?’
For a moment, she thought he was teasing, playing hard to get, but once she saw the anxiety in Luke’s eyes, she knew something was wrong. The atmosphere had changed abruptly from playfulness to an edgy tension. Everything had been fine until she touched the scar.
‘Okay.’ Kate settled in the crook of his arm. His heart was pounding. Something had really upset him. The scar looked like a burn, but he obviously didn’t want to talk about it. He’d been through so much. She’d have to be patient, not pressure him. She could do that, couldn’t she?
She placed her hand on his chest, a gesture of affection and protection. And reassurance. ‘I love you, Luke,’ she whispered. His eyes were closed.
Luke lay on the bed, praying for sleep that wouldn’t come. He was afraid to move too much in case he woke Kate. He was so embarrassed about what had happened. Kate seemed okay with it, but what if it happened again? Making love meant a commitment to emotions that were pretty new to him. Trust and self-belief, for a start. He couldn’t stop loving her, but he didn’t have to act on it. Didn’t have to open himself to more pain and loss. And it wouldn’t be fair on her either. She surely deserved someone better, who could offer her the kind of life she was used to. Which wasn’t the kind he’d had. He wanted to cry …
Luke stared at the football on the table and tried to sound pleased as he thanked his mother.
‘Keep practisin’,’ said Annie, ‘and you’ll be rich and famous one day.’
She was trying to make him feel better because she didn’t have the money to buy him what he wanted most. In his heart, he’d known he wouldn’t get the PlayStation, but he’d still hoped, especially after Danny McDonagh had got one. And he was only eight, not ten like Luke. It hadn’t even cost his parents any money at all, because Danny said they’d found it when it fell off the back of a lorry or something. How come Luke’s family never had that kind of luck, and what use was a football anyway? It’d just get lost or stolen or punctured. Suddenly, he was tired of always having to make do, of always going without, and he couldn’t stop the tears.
‘Luke!’ His mother did the worst thing then and hugged him tight as she wiped the tears with her thumb.
The slam of a hand on the table made Luke jump. ‘Jesus Christ, will you shut that kid up! How the fuck can I concentrate?’ Joe was filling out his betting slip for the horse racing. Nothing was ever more important than that. Not even Luke’s birthday.
‘Stop it, Joe,’ Annie said. ‘You’re scarin’ him.’
‘That’s the idea, you stupid cow.’ Joe slapped the back of Luke’s head – hard. That just made it worse. Luke was wailing for Ireland now and couldn’t stop.
Joe suddenly slapped Annie’s face, his handprint red on her cheek. He scowled at Luke. ‘Shut up, brat. Because that’s what happens if you don’t.’
Luke wanted to stop crying but couldn’t just switch it off. He watched, terrified, as Joe hit Annie again, this time unbalancing her so she fell to the ground. Luke threw himself at Joe, pounding his uncle in the stomach. ‘I hate you, you ugly gobshite!’
Joe pushed Luke against the wall, one hand at his throat. ‘For the last time, stop your whinin’. I’m warnin’ you now … shut your mouth before I shut it for you!’
Luke couldn’t breathe and his chest was hurting. He could see sparkles of light. The room was drifting away.
‘Let him go!’ Annie was screaming, and Joe threw Luke to the floor. It was several days before the bruises on his neck disappeared, but the memory stayed forever. Crying was off limits after that.
Finally, Luke slept, but the memories just turned into nightmares. He was running from Joe, but wherever he went, his uncle was there. Beating him. Punching him. He kicked his legs, trying to escape …
‘Luke! Wake up!’
He opened his eyes. Where was he? He scrambled upright, pain shooting through him from his ribs, which were still tender. He jerked away from a hand on his arm, expecting to see Joe. Then a light went on and he saw it was Kate, her face full of concern.
She touched his arm again, stroking gently. ‘It’s okay, you just had a bad dream. You’re safe.’
He didn’t deserve her concern. Not after the way he’d rejected her. ‘I’m sorry about … what happened, Kate. And I want to explain.’
Kate shook her head. ‘You don’t have to.’
‘I do,�
�� Luke insisted. ‘I need you to know about my life. Mine and Mam’s.’
‘Did … did they treat you badly all the time?’ Kate asked when Luke had told her about those dark moments of his life that he wanted to forget. Moments he’d never wanted to share but perhaps needed to. Maybe it would free him. ‘Did they give you that scar?’
Luke’s hand went to it. ‘Liam was angry about somethin’ I said so he stubbed out his cigarette on me. It turned into one of the best days of my life.’
‘What?’ asked Kate. ‘How come?’
‘Joe went ballistic at him. He wiped my tears, put a cold flannel on the burn and gave me five euro to spend when Mam next took me shoppin’. Then he took me out and bought me an ice cream. I said I wanted to buy him one with my money … I felt like I had a fortune … but he said I was to keep it for myself.
‘I loved him, you see, and I wanted him to love me. I guess I needed a real father figure. I went to bed feelin’ really happy, and in the mornin’ I couldn’t wait to see him. I ran up to him – and got a slap round the head because he was listenin’ to the radio. That’s how it was. I never knew what mood he’d be in. I’d have preferred it if he’d given me a slap every day rather than false hope.’
‘That was just cruel,’ agreed Kate. She seemed near to tears.
Luke hugged her to him, kissing her hair. ‘I did have a kind of relationship with my uncles, but mostly they resented me. And Mam, too.’
‘But why?’
‘She married outside the culture for starters, but they’d never treated her well. My grandmother died givin’ birth to her, so Joe blamed her. Then she had me, and I was another mouth to feed, the son of a Brit who wasn’t a Traveller, not even Catholic. Joe’s just full of hate. His wife left him years ago. Took their little girl, Roisin, with her. He’s never seen her since. And Liam – he used to be close to Mam until he got a head injury on a buildin’ site. Then he had all these mood changes, and that made life even more difficult for us. And apart from everything else, I wasn’t what they thought a good Traveller boy should be. They wanted me to do bare-knuckle fightin’, like they did. But I’m not exactly built to be a fighter! Even if I was, I wouldn’t want to do it.’
‘Why didn’t your mum take you away?’ asked Kate.
‘She’d tried to make it on her own once, which ended with me bein’ taken into care. Maybe she should have left me there. She could have made a life for herself, and I might have had a different childhood. A proper education.’
‘Without your mother?’
‘At the time I wouldn’t have wanted to be without her, whatever. But maybe we’d have been better off. She did what she thought was best but life was hard. She wouldn’t leave my grand-da. He was a good person, but he never got over my grandma dyin’. He was sick for years. Had two strokes. Sometimes I just wanted him to die so’s we could go. How bad is that? When he finally did pass on, we’d lost confidence we could make a go of it. We kept puttin’ it off until they beat me up bad, then I convinced Mam it was time.’
‘Finally,’ muttered Kate.
‘Don’t think badly of her, Kate. You don’t know what it’s like to be penniless. She did her best.’
‘I don’t know if I’ll ever get over her dyin’. Not when it was down to me. Mam always told me to stay calm or it would make things worse for both of us. I should have known fightin’ back was stupid, but I had to be the hero. I always felt bad for not protectin’ her enough, but when I did, it just got me battered. We’d never have been on that road, runnin’ away, if it wasn’t for me. That’s why I have this guilt that won’t go away. I’m sorry, Kate. For last night, and for burdenin’ you with all this.’
He hadn’t told her about the money. Matt’s warning that he’d involved them all in this mess echoed in his head. He hoped the less Kate knew, the safer she was.
‘Don’t be sorry. We’re a couple. We share the good and the bad. Maybe talking about it will help you deal with it. And I want to spend forever making it good for you.’
‘Is that a proposal?’
‘If you like,’ she laughed. ‘Because you’re stuck with me … you’re my soulmate.’
He kissed the top of her head and wound his arms tightly round her. ‘Kate Kiernan has a good Irish ring to it. When I get a proper job, I’ll make an honest woman out of you. I love you, Kate – and I don’t want to disappoint you.’
‘I love you, too,’ she whispered. ‘And you could never disappoint me.’
Her words were like some kind of miracle drug. He didn’t know what he’d done to deserve it, but suddenly life was smiling at him. Maybe he had a guardian angel – was his mother finally helping him in a way she’d never been able to before? He and Kate were now committed to each other, and as sure as the sun would set in the west, he knew he could trust her with his dreams, his emotions – his life. Like some kind of blessing, the growing morning sunlight bathed their bodies in gold as they slowly, tenderly made love.
Chapter Eighteen
Horses were everywhere in County Wicklow, grazing placidly on rich green farmland and being exercised by riders along various side roads. Now the way was blocked by a horse trailer lumbering leisurely along the road ahead, but Jack didn’t care about the delay. The slow pace of life in Ireland’s countryside was so relaxing. A pale sun warmed the landscape and the car radio played mellow folk music.
‘Do you ride, Jack?’ asked Emer.
‘I’m not that keen, but my father insisted I learn. He’s Master of the Baronsmere Hunt.’
‘Sounds important.’
‘It is – and he’s hoping when he retires, I’ll take over.’
‘You don’t sound happy about that.’
Jack sighed. ‘I’m the only son – it’s expected of me.’
‘Well, put your foot down,’ suggested Emer. ‘What’s the worst that can happen?’
She had no idea. A constant stream of cutting comments from his mother and a brooding silence from his father whenever he stepped out of line. ‘I work with my father, Emer. Any tension in our personal lives can spill over and that’s not good for business.’
How lame that sounded. Emer must think him weak. Maybe he was. He’d left home earlier than necessary to avoid Matt, and he’d hinted to Emer during lunch that he needed a break from the subject of Luke, hoping she’d steer clear of it and he wouldn’t have to tell her the kid had left. Was that weakness – or just a desire to enjoy the weekend? ‘Remind me again,’ he said, ‘who’s being christened tomorrow?’
‘Gabriel. Firstborn of my cousin, Cal. Cal’s the Assistant Manager at the hotel where we’re staying, so the room should be grand.’
‘And the name of the place is Glenfiddich?’ he joked.
Emer laughed. ‘You wish! We’re staying in Glendalough. It means Valley of the Two Lakes. A really ancient site. Dates back to the sixth century.’
That didn’t sound like much fun. Ruins weren’t Jack’s thing. Still, he was with Emer, which was all that mattered.
A sudden shower had just cleared when Jack caught his first glimpse of Glendalough. As they drove downhill into the wooded valley, the water on the leaves of the trees sparkled in the returning sunshine. The scene took Jack’s breath away. An ancient round tower in the centre of the village pierced the vision of lakes and mountains in the distance. Houses and churches and ruins were scattered over the rich green landscape. ‘It’s like finding Brigadoon,’ said Jack, in wonder.
‘I know,’ Emer agreed. ‘It’s an amazing place. People come from all over to visit.’
The road veered sharply to the left and soon they were in the courtyard of a large, elegant Georgian country house.
‘Welcome to the Fintan House Hotel,’ said Emer. ‘D’you like it?’
Mansions held little charm for Jack. Too much like Edenbridge. Emer, though, was clearly delig
hted with the place. Not wanting to spoil her day, he said, ‘It’s wonderful.’
A moment later, a grizzled porter in purple uniform came to take their luggage. Jack couldn’t wait to be alone with Emer. Her use of the singular room earlier had been music to his ears. Despite the fact they’d consummated their relationship after his birthday bash, he didn’t like to take anything for granted, preferring her to take the lead – he could presume, now, that she hadn’t been disappointed. During the journey, her laughter, her voice and her subtle scent had increasingly cast a spell on him, and he wanted nothing more than to hold her in his arms and make love to her again.
‘We can have dinner on the terrace,’ said Emer, as they booked in. ‘It’s cool, but they have heaters out there, and it’s worth it for the view of the lake.’
‘We got a grand batch of oysters fresh this morning,’ the receptionist commented with a knowing smile. Hopefully by checkout time tomorrow, that knowing smile would be justified – Jack’s relationship with Emer would be established and they would officially become a couple.
The room was amazing, especially the huge canopied bed, draped with heavy jacquard curtains, and Jack’s imagination fast-forwarded to the many possibilities such a bed could offer. While Emer was in the shower, Jack stood at the picture window, looking at the view. The hotel’s gardens sloped right down to the lake. A breeze ruffled the water, now speckled with gold, and a boat was heading to harbour at the other side. He opened the window and the sweet scent of lilies drifted into the room. Baronsmere was picturesque, but this was like something from a fairytale.
The bathroom door opened behind him, and he turned round. Emer emerged, making the towel wrapped around her look like something from Versace. At that moment, strains of classical music floated up from the terrace. Jack gently pulled Emer towards him, positioning one hand on her waist and clasping her palm with the other. Her free hand went up to his shoulder and they drifted around the room in a slow, sensual waltz.
Beneath an Irish Sky (Choc Lit) Page 27
