‘I’m very uncomfortable with this, Kate,’ called Matt from the living room, where he was keeping an eye on the driveway in case Sarah returned. If she did, Kate would just say they thought they’d heard an intruder. Sarah could believe that or not. Kate was past caring.
‘I’m on the last drawer,’ she called to him.
The bottom drawer looked more promising. Letters from Kate’s grandmother in Spain, some holiday snaps, Kate’s school reports – she’d like to look at those but now wasn’t the time. Close to the back of the drawer, she pulled out a file with ‘Jackson’ written on the cover, not a name that meant anything to her. She opened it and something fluttered to the floor. A photo of a young boy. Picking it up, Kate’s heart – and time – seemed to stop. She held the picture, staring at it in disbelief, until suddenly Matt was there. Had she called out? She didn’t know. All she knew was that her world had just collapsed. The file lay where she’d dropped it. Jackson. Jack-son.
It was the early hours of Sunday morning and the ferry was packed with Bank Holiday travellers. There wasn’t a seat to be had so Luke sat on the floor, leaning against the side of the walkway between one of the lounges and the cafeteria. He picked up a magazine from the floor and rested it against his knees but couldn’t concentrate on reading. What a cock-up. He’d left the car in Holyhead because the ferry was fully booked, except for foot-passengers. So were the ferries for the next day. Maybe flying would have been the best option, but airport security was probably tighter. He didn’t want to have to try and explain why he was carrying thirty thousand euro in cash. Not to mention a valuable necklace.
He thought about Kate and the love they’d shared. So brief but so strong. He didn’t want to forget, but it hurt too much to remember: her smile, the affectionate way she would be watching him when he woke in the morning, the habit she had of gently pushing his hair away from his face. He took out his mobile and switched it on. God, so many texts. From Kate, from Matt, from Tim. None from Jack, of course. Why did that bother him? His fingers hovered over Kate’s number. It was so tempting, but what would he say? ‘Hi Kate, sorry I took off, but I just found out you’re my sister.’
He felt sick when he thought of how they’d made love, and he wanted to spare her that. He switched the phone off again and drew his knees up tight to his chest, putting his head down and using his folded arms as a pillow. He felt wretched. Damp seeped into his sleeve, and instinctively his hand went to his face to wipe away tears. Finally, after ten years, he was crying.
It was nearly nine and the bloody church bells were ringing when Sarah arrived home. Did the vicar really expect people to turn up when they’d spent all yesterday gorging and boozing? Most of them would feel like she did – wrecked. All she wanted was to shower and sleep.
She’d spent the night with Justin Somerville, local entrepreneur. He’d found her on the village green before she’d had a chance to completely disappear into her bottle of wine. He’d called himself her white knight and said she shouldn’t be alone on May Day. It had been so easy through the haze of alcohol to let him take charge, but back at his house, she’d not been able to block out thoughts of what she’d said to Luke so romance hadn’t exactly sparked between her and Justin.
She thought about what had happened yesterday. Surely Luke would have to leave now? But what about Kate? Would she get over Luke, or had Sarah ruined her daughter’s life? She leaned her forehead on the steering wheel, the tears close. Crying wasn’t going to help, though. She should think about the positive. Kate might not thank her now but Luke being out of her life would be best in the long run. Sarah got out of the car, looking forward to a long soak in the bath and then bed.
Walking into the kitchen, she almost fainted with fright to find Matt sitting large as life at the table. He was unshaven and looked exhausted. His expression was grim and Sarah’s stomach lurched. Dear God, don’t let something have happened to Kate. She sank into the chair opposite him. ‘What’s wrong, Matt?’
He looked at her as if she’d just crawled out from under a stone. ‘What’s wrong is what you said to Luke yesterday.’
So Luke had talked. The cat was out of the bag. How was she going to get out of this?
‘Yesterday? Did I speak to Luke? Can’t really remember. I’d had quite a lot to drink …’
‘Don’t try to kid me you don’t remember.’ Matt’s voice was cold, hard. ‘You were talking to Luke just before he punched Dad. Why did you do it, Sarah?’
Her heart was pounding. The last thing she needed was to be harassed like this in the morning. ‘It wasn’t my fault. Gavin was the one who told Luke that Kate was Jack’s daughter.’
The shocked expression on Matt’s face told her she’d just made a huge mistake. ‘You didn’t know, did you? You tricked me, you bastard. Get out.’ And he could kiss his job at the Foresters goodbye, too. She was done with the Stewarts.
Matt didn’t leave. ‘Luke’s gone, you know,’ he said quietly.
‘Well, I’m not sorry. He didn’t belong here. And he didn’t belong with Kate.’ He would think her a bitch but she didn’t care. She’d only been protecting her daughter.
‘Kate’s gone, too,’ Matt said.
‘What?’ Sarah’s stomach flipped.
‘Gone,’ Matt repeated. ‘If I were her, I’d never want to see you or speak to you again. You’ve ruined her life. She said she couldn’t live without Luke.’
Sarah felt faint. ‘Matt, what are you saying? Kate wouldn’t do anything stupid – she wouldn’t!’
‘Who knows what was going through her mind? She loves Luke. He’s gone. She’ll be very emotional right now.’
Sarah started to panic. Her baby girl was gone. ‘Get her back, Matt, get her back!’ she heard herself saying. ‘It’s not true. Jack isn’t her dad … but I told Luke he was. I didn’t want them to be together. I’m so sorry.’
‘And what about this? Are you sorry for this, too?’ Matt reached inside his jacket and pulled out a photo, which he pushed across the table to her. Oh dear God, no …
‘How … how did you get this?’ she asked.
‘More to the point, how did you get it?’ Matt asked. The way he was looking at her was more than she could bear. Like she was the scum of the earth, which maybe she was.
‘It’s Luke, isn’t it?’ said Matt.
Sarah looked at the photo in front of her, at the boy with a mass of dark curls and huge, haunted eyes, who looked remarkably similar to the man he’d grown into. Sarah opened her mouth to lie but then Matt reached into his pocket once more and put a sheet of paper on the table.
‘And this,’ he said. ‘A letter Annie sent, ten years ago, begging Claire to act on her behalf and ask my dad for help. He never saw this, and I’m guessing Claire didn’t either. How did you get it, Sarah?’
‘Has Kate seen it?’ she whispered.
‘Why do you think she’s gone?’
‘Oh, God!’
‘Tell me, dammit! How did you get hold of it?’
Sarah was shaking with nerves. Such a long time to keep this secret, it was hard to give it up.
‘Of course, I could take it to the police,’ said Matt. ‘Let them handle it. Maybe they can’t make anything stick but you’ll be ruined by the end of it all. Tell me the truth about this and it stays in the family, I promise.’
It was probably the best deal Sarah was going to get. She’d lost Jack so it didn’t really matter what he thought. But if Kate knew she’d come clean, it might help. ‘Could I have a coffee? Then I’ll tell you what happened.’
‘Annie sent the letter to Claire,’ said Sarah, nursing her coffee. ‘But Richard … intercepted it.’
‘Why?’
‘He said he had to stop her ever coming back here. Your grandparents didn’t want it. Jack had been so upset when Annie left …’
‘
Spare me the altruistic motives,’ sneered Matt. ‘I’m not buying that. Annie was writing to Jack about Luke – wanting him to take care of their son. And he would have done that, if he’d seen the letter.’
Sarah nodded. ‘I know. Richard told me he was going to Ireland, and that he’d tell Annie Jack was in a relationship with me. That he didn’t want to take Luke.’
‘Why did he involve you in all this?’
Sarah looked out of the window to escape Matt’s critical gaze. It was painful to dredge up those memories from so long ago. ‘Twenty years ago, Richard and I … got close …’
‘Were you shagging him?’ demanded Matt, the distaste evident in his expression.
The coarse word shocked her into a nod. ‘It was over almost as soon as it began. But when the letter came, Richard showed it to me … He wanted me to give him Annie’s necklace …’
‘The sapphire and diamond one?’ asked Matt.
‘How did you know that?’
‘Luke still has it. Dad couldn’t figure out how Annie got it. Did you steal it from him?’
‘No!’ But Richard had and she’d accepted it, so Matt was right. She was kidding herself if she thought otherwise. ‘Jack gave them to your grandmother to be auctioned. Richard “rescued” the necklace before she sorted through the pieces. He knew I’d always liked it. They’re Ceylon sapphires, you know. Best quality.’ Richard had wanted her to wear it when she was in bed with him. Probably gave him some kind of thrill to know he’d tricked both Jack and Grace. ‘He wanted to give Annie the necklace and say Jack had sent it for her to sell or do whatever she wanted with it. So she would know Jack had drawn a line under their marriage and moved on.’
‘Did Richard organise all this on his own?’
‘Well …’
Half an hour later, Matt knew everything she did. ‘Does Richard know why Annie left?’ he asked.
‘He told me he didn’t know. Now please, will you help me look for Kate, Matt? Where do you think she’s gone?’
‘Kate’s fine. She’s at Tim’s.’
Sarah felt weak with relief, then angry. ‘You lied to me!’
‘Doesn’t feel good to be on the receiving end, does it? Maybe you should have thought of that before you kept this from Dad – before you betrayed Claire. How could you do that to her?’
Matt was hardly ever with the same girl twice. What could he possibly understand about unrequited love? ‘I know it doesn’t make it right, but she was never meant to know. She’d had several miscarriages. I thought Richard reached out to me to help him through his own suffering. I was weak, and vulnerable – and lonely. Martin and I had been husband and wife in name only for months.’
Matt looked like he might be physically sick. She wondered if she’d ever see again the smiling, joking Matt she knew so well. ‘What are you going to do?’ she asked him.
‘Get some justice for Luke. And Annie. I think they deserve that, don’t you?’
She nodded, closing her eyes. She didn’t care much about the Stewarts anymore. All she could think about was Kate.
‘Sarah – Sarah?’ Matt sounded agitated. ‘What you said about you and Martin – who is Kate’s dad?’
Oh God. This was a step too far. ‘Martin is her dad,’ she said. But it was too late. She’d already admitted they weren’t living as man and wife.
‘It’s Richard – isn’t it?’
‘Matt – please don’t say anything. For Kate’s sake. I don’t want her to know who her father is, ever. She’d hate me. Richard doesn’t even know she’s his. He asked once, but I panicked and told him I’d had a fling with Jack and that Kate was his daughter. Richard accepted that. He knew I’d always had a thing for your dad. He must have told that idiot son of his, yesterday or before. Probably had a good laugh over it.’
‘So that’s why you didn’t want Luke and Kate to be together! If you hadn’t tried to break them up, Richard would have guessed Jack wasn’t the father – and would probably have guessed he was.’
Sarah nodded. ‘He had asked me to burn this letter and photo – and of course now I see that I should have – but I kept them as insurance in case Richard ever found out and tried to be a part of Kate’s life.’
‘You let Kate go out with Gavin!’
‘She had one date with him – I was away at the time and knew nothing about it. Thankfully, it was over almost as soon as it began. Matt – you won’t tell anyone?’
‘My dad has the right to know,’ said Matt, ‘and if we keep it quiet, it’ll be a burden we bear for the sake of the people we love.’
He left the kitchen without another word.
Jack was drinking his third cup of coffee when Matt arrived. It was a week since his son had left home and Honey was all over him like a thing demented. ‘Any news?’ asked Jack.
‘Plenty. But no sign of Luke yet.’ Matt sat down and poured himself some coffee. He looked rough. Worse than Jack, whose jaw was bruised and still hurt like hell. ‘I do know why he hit you, though.’
‘Insanity?’ suggested Jack.
‘Yesterday, Sarah told Luke you’re Kate’s dad.’
‘What! Jesus Christ! Matt, I swear to you—’
‘Relax, Dad. I know it’s not true. Sarah only said it to split Luke and Kate up. But Luke doesn’t know this. I’ve texted him and tried calling, but his phone’s been switched off. We’re going to head out again today to look for him, but there’s something else …’
Matt took a photo from his jacket pocket and pushed it across the table.
Jack stared at it. ‘This is Luke.’
Matt nodded.
‘God, he looks so like Annie. Where did you get this?’
‘Sarah’s had it – for ten years.’
Jack frowned. ‘I don’t understand.’
‘This photo was sent to Claire along with a letter. She never got it. Richard found it, opened it, kept it from her.’ He passed Jack a yellowed piece of paper. ‘Prepare yourself, Dad.’
Jack recognised Annie’s small, neat handwriting straight away. There was a growing sensation of pain and anger as he read the words his wife had written.
Dear Claire,
You will be surprised to hear from me after all this time, and I know you must have been shocked when I left. I’m sorry that I went without saying goodbye. Although it was heartbreaking, especially leaving Matt, I had no choice but to go.
I’m writing to you now because I’m desperate and don’t know what else to do. When I left Jack, I didn’t know I was pregnant. My son, Luke, is now 10. I enclose a photo of him. He is a good boy – very bright, and he loves football.
Life is very difficult. I’ve tried to make a home for the two of us, but it’s hard for unqualified people to find work, especially if you are a Traveller. I don’t want to go into much detail now, but I hope you will just trust me when I say that I fear for Luke’s safety.
Because of this I think that although it will break my heart, he should live with his father. I know this is a shock for you, and will be for Jack, too. I should have told him about Luke before now, but I worried he might take him away from me. The courts would likely have said Jack could give him a better life. Now I know that Jack can give Luke the protection I can’t. I’m sure Matt and Luke will get along well together. Matt always said he wanted a brother.
Please, Claire, will you talk to Jack for me? Try to persuade him. I’m afraid he might hate me for leaving and not listen to me.
I have a friend, Jessie, who lives at a Traveller halting site, and you can write back to me care of her at the site address at the top of this letter. I hope you can write back to me soon and let me know if Jack will take Luke. Please trust me, Claire, and treat this as urgent. You’re my best hope.
Your loving friend,
Annie
‘Oh, my God,’ moaned Jack when he finished reading the letter. ‘She wanted me to take Luke. And I didn’t know.’
‘I’m so sorry, Dad.’
As Matt started to share with Jack what Sarah had told him, anger didn’t cover what Jack felt at that moment. If Richard had been within striking distance, Jack doubted whether he’d have been able to prevent himself committing a serious crime. Beneath the anger, though, there was also a deep sense of loss, of grief. Of sheer disbelief, and even more confusion. The letter raised more questions than it answered.
‘Richard made arrangements for Annie – a monthly payment,’ continued Matt. ‘Enough for her to rent somewhere decent in Ireland and to provide for Luke. Richard said she was happy with that because she didn’t want to come back to Baronsmere – she just needed money. I think he was lying, and I doubt she got any of the money. Luke told me Joe and Liam always seemed to have cash but never shared it. We can guess where they got it.’
Jack got up and started pacing the kitchen. ‘Annie must have been desperate if she was prepared to give up Luke. But where did Richard get the money? I can’t believe he paid it out of his own pocket. If he’s been embezzling from the company, I’ll have him …’
Matt shook his head. ‘He didn’t do anything illegal. Richard was just the monkey.’
‘Who was the organ grinder?’ Jack asked the question, but he already knew the answer.
‘Gran. Richard told her about the letter. She didn’t want to get involved, and told him to deal with it in whatever way he saw fit. Just so long as Annie didn’t come back here to Baronsmere.’
Jack sat down again. He felt sick to his stomach.
‘Dad, she must have really hated Annie to go to so much trouble.’
‘Grace Stewart is a shallow snob who’d sell out anyone to keep her reputation. Annie was worth ten of her.’
Matt’s mobile rang. ‘Tim,’ he mouthed, and relayed the conversation in bursts. ‘Luke’s just texted Kate. Text says “sorry” … He’s also texted Tim … Fuck! Fuck! Tim – I’m at my Dad’s. You and Kate get over here right now!’
Beneath an Irish Sky (Choc Lit) Page 32
