Talk about the worst buzz kill.
Once I felt I was done, I straightened. My high had vanished and I was left drunk. Not the kind of drunk where I want to dance it off, either. This was the “I want to go to bed right now” drunk.
“You okay?”
I shook my head. “I want to go to bed.”
“Come on.” Nate brushed my hair away from my face. Squinting my eyes, I tried to un-blur his face. He chuckled and tucked me under his arm. “Let’s get you home.”
I woke up the following morning in my bed with my head pounding. My covers had been draped over my body but I was still in my dress. Sunlight peeked in through the curtains and I could tell it was very late morning. I rolled onto my side and held my temples. It felt as though my brain was pounding against my skull. When the throbbing subsided, I noticed a bottle of water and a small packet of Advil on the bedside table. A little Post-it was stuck to the bottle.
Drink this in the morning. The Advil should help with the headache.
Love, Nate.
Memories of the previous night flooded my head. Nate had taken care of me. I puked in front of him. Where did Del go? How did I get into my room?
I popped the two pills into my mouth and drank the water, laid my head back on the pillow and noticed that Dell's bed was untouched. Though I should have worried about my missing roommate, I needed a few more hours to recuperate.
Sometime later, I heard the room door open. Delaney appeared with her coat covering her dress and last night's makeup still on her face.
“Morning,” she greeted me. She dragged her feet across the floor and kicked her heels off.
I looked over at my clock.
“You mean good afternoon.” My voice was hoarse but my headache had subsided a bit.
She plopped on the bed next to me. “I feel like shit,” she complained.
“Where did you go last night?” I sat up on the bed.
“I wasn't feeling well and I bumped into Chloe, so she took me home. I couldn't find my keys so I crashed at her place. Then, this morning, I found them in my purse.” She pulled the blanket off her bed.
“You just left me?” Anger began to build. Not only had Julian been a complete douche, but my best friend, who begged me to go to the party with her, left me there by myself.
“Nate was there.”
“That's beside the point.” I shook my head. “I was lucky he was there because I got really sick and he's the one who brought me home, because you were gone and Julian was gone and I didn’t even want to go to this party to begin with.” My voice grew higher as my rant continued.
“Brie, I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to leave you. I was really, really drunk and I asked Chloe to tell Nate I was leaving and to keep an eye on you.”
I shook my head. “It’s fine.” I dropped the conversation. Some of the pressure in my head was relieved, but I still wasn't feeling well.
Delaney discarded her dress then threw her UNC sweater over her body and climbed under the covers. “I need to sleep for a little bit,” she informed me.
I kicked my covers off, undressed and put on my bathrobe, and grabbed my toiletry bag. “I'm gonna go take the longest shower possible. I'll be back later.”
I let the scalding water pour over my head as I pushed out the memories of Nate, but they kept invading my thoughts.
I remembered him coming to my rescue when I couldn't find Del. I remembered how he held me on his lap. I remembered the way his hands rubbed up my spine and how it caused my skin to ignite. I remembered how I needed air and he dragged me outside. I remembered how his lips were mere inches away from mine.
I was playing with fire but it felt too good to stop.
When I strolled back to the room, Julian was sitting on the edge of my bed, his head hung low. “Hi,” he whispered.
“I'll let you two talk.” Delaney pushed off her bed and grabbed her toiletry bag.
He waited until Delaney was out of the room before he spoke.
“Brie . . .” Julian’s voice was hoarse. “I’m so sorry I overreacted. I don’t know what came over me. I should have never left you there. You know this isn’t me.”
Placing my stuff back in the drawer, I cleared my throat. “Julian, you can’t act the way you did last night and then think you can come here and all will be forgotten.”
“I know.” He nodded. “I’m sorry, Brie.” When I didn’t respond, he rushed to my side. His hands framed my face. “I’m so sorry. I was a shitty friend.”
I was so ready to yell and scream at Julian, but was I any better? I almost kissed Nate. If I hadn’t puked I couldn’t say that nothing would’ve happened. He can be a better man but can I be a better girlfriend? I shook my head, not wanting to hear the thoughts in my head or his apology.
“Julian, I have exams coming up and then Christmas break. I think maybe we jumped into this friendship. Maybe we should let the dust settle.”
“Brie, I’m so—”
“I know you’re sorry, Julian. I need a little bit of time, okay?”
I noticed his Adam’s apple bob. “Yeah.” He bowed his head. “I can give you time.” He pulled me toward him and hugged me once again. I felt him fill his lungs with air one last time before he let me go.
I stood there in the middle of my dorm room, my hair still wet from my shower and my heart filled with emotion, none that I wanted to analyze at the moment. I wanted to get this semester over and done with, and start the new year on a different foot. The following semester I wouldn’t have a class with Nate, so he wouldn’t be a distraction.
Six weeks without Nate would help.
Chapter 10
Nathaniel
There are things in life that are out of your control. My father leaving me. The foster families I was tossed around from. Everything was out of my control.
Including what I felt for Brielle.
The feelings I had for her had a mind of their own. It was as though they had their own blood supply, and regardless of how many times I tried to shut it down, I could never find the source. Each time my heart beat, it fed them, forcing them to grow. It didn't matter how hard I tried to forget her. It didn't matter how many times I tried to focus on Delaney.
All I wanted was Brielle.
It was the way she smiled. When I made her laugh and she bowed her face, a small grin grew across her lips as she gazed up at me through her lashes. I walked around aimlessly trying to make her laugh. It was the way her cheeks flushed when she was frustrated. The way her lips puckered when she was amused. The way she looked at me.
How she teased me and slapped my arms when I said something inappropriate, or she tried to push me away by slamming her delicate hands on my chest.
It was the soft glances she gave me while the professor was discussing some building.
The way she bit her lower lip while she sketched that building.
I was done for.
She had cast her line with the most delectable bait possible.
Hook. Line. Sinker.
I was a fucking goner.
I tried to stay away. I tried to repeat to myself constantly that she was with Julian, my goddamn brother. Julian loved her. I couldn't blame him. I was dating her best friend, and her best friend loved me.
It was out of my control.
And things only got worse after our Christmas bash.
I had lost the bet, so I was forced to dress like Sexy Santa. I knew this would be a problem for Delaney, but a bet was a bet and this party was a tradition.
Our small house filled with our friends and their friends—people I’d never seen before. I made my way through the crowd and said hello to a few buddies, but every time the door opened, I looked for her.
I knew she was coming. I knew my brother was coming with her. And hell, my girlfriend would be there, too. But the need to see Brielle drove me mad.
I strolled into the kitchen and grabbed a beer. It was a mild December so the party had been pushed outside. Taking a swig
of my beer, I made another lap to say hi to people I’d never seen before. I did anything to keep my sanity.
Stu stumbled over to me as I made my way to the beer pong table. He had a bottle of Patron in his hand and a cocky smile on his face.
“Dude,” he slurred. “Take a shot.”
“Nah, man, I'm good.” I lifted my beer and took another swig.
“You're supposed to be fun, not an ass.”
“You don't want me to get fucked up before the party even starts, do you?”
Stu slurred something incoherent, poured another shot down his throat, and swallowed dramatically.
It was then that I spotted her. Ignoring Stu’s rant, I turned to face her. She was holding Julian's hand as she walked, and Delaney was to her left. She looked as if she belonged in a beauty magazine. Her hair was down in long loose curls that made me want to grab them at her nape. Oblivious to my own girlfriend, I watched from afar as she and Julian exchanged words. She slid her coat off her shoulders.
Fuck.
I begged my dick to stay down.
When Julian stormed away, I knew he was pissed and I know exactly why. In the few months I’d known Brielle, I’d never seen her in such a provocative dress. It made her legs look miles long even though she was petite. Brielle always looked innocent.
Until tonight.
I strolled over to them and was greeted with Delaney’s attitude. One glance from her and I knew to stay away until she had a few drinks. Ignoring the desire to be near Brielle, I let them go and focused on the party.
A few hours later, I spotted a happy Brielle on the dance floor. I knew she was a bit intoxicated as her eyes were glassed over and her cheeks were flushed. At first I was pissed because she was wandering the house alone, but then I realized she was alone.
Julian had left and Delaney had disappeared.
She smiled when she looked up at me, and I thought I would have a few moments with her, but then I was called away to take pictures. I only hoped that Brielle would still be alone when I returned.
But Brielle surprised me when she got in line to greet Santa. She stood, gnawing her lips until she was called to sit on my lap.
“Have you been naughty or nice?” I asked. Her legs pressed against mine and I felt my erection grow. Resting my hands on the small of her back, I tried to focus on the task at hand. There was no way she couldn’t feel what she was doing to me.
“I want to be very naughty,” she whispered.
She’d crossed the line we’d both been dancing around for the past few months. She was drunk and her inhibitions were gone.
“Naughty?” I dared to ask. “I can help you with that.” I locked my gaze with hers.
“I need some air.”
I guided her out and to the side of the house. Shielding her from any bystanders, I desperately waited for the right moment to kiss her. I was almost there, mere inches from her lips. I ran my nose up her cheek, inhaling her scent.
It was then she got sick and the timing was ruined.
I held her hair as she emptied the contents of her stomach on the grass. Even puking she looked adorable. Her eyes were watery and her lips puckered in repulsion. “I need to go home.”
Brushing my hands through her hair, I cursed fate. She was the girl I wanted. “Come on, let's go.”
Within five minutes, I had her in my car and was heading toward her dorm. “Do you need to puke again?” She sat in the front seat, her gaze on the road.
“No, I need gum.” She searched for a piece until she found my pack in the center console. “I can’t believe I puked. I’m so embarrassed.” She covered her face. “It’s a good thing I won't remember this tomorrow.”
“You won’t?”
“Nope.” She shook her head. “And because you’re my best friend, you have to never mention this night to me.”
“Really?” Since she seemed better, I decided to take the long way to her dorm.
“Yep. Julian is an ass, and Delaney left me. You’re all I have.”
“Delaney is probably knocked out in my bedroom,” I muttered when we got to a red light.
Brielle turned and faced me. “Can I tell you a secret?” Her words were meshed together. I nodded. “Pinky promise you won’t tell anyone?” She held up her pinky. I nodded again. “I kind of really hate the fact you’re with her,” she whispered. “I’m jealous she has you.”
Her words were music to my ears. “Can I tell you a secret, too?” I whispered. Her eyes widened and she nodded. “I really hate that you’re with Julian.”
Her gaze locked with mine until the asshole behind me beeped. The car was silent until she spoke a few minutes later. “You don’t have a right to be mad. Besides, we broke up after Thanksgiving. It’s not like I slept with him.” She shrugged.
“You broke up?”
“Yes.”
“And you didn't care to tell me?”
“Nope. I wanted you to feel a bit jealous.” She leaned her head on the seat and looked at me. “I like making you jealous because you do it to me. You’ve marked her as yours, and I hate it when she doesn’t come home because she’s with you.”
“So you do like me?”
Brielle rested her head on the seat and closed her eyes. Minutes later she responded. “You always want what you can’t have.”
“Trust me, I know.”
By the time we pulled up to her dorm she was peacefully sleeping. “Brie.”
“Hmm.”
“We’re here.”
I jogged around the car and helped her out. She leaned on me as we walked up the stairs and she fumbled with the key.
Handing it to me, she mumbled, “I can’t do it.”
I slid the key into the slot and pushed the door open. Brielle strolled to her bed, pulled the covers back, and climbed in. Digging through their make-shift kitchen, I found a bottle of water and some Advil.
“Nate,” she muttered.
“Yeah.”
“Half kisses are stupid.”
“I know.” I wrote out a note for her. “Maybe one day you’ll let me kiss you.”
“That’s if I don’t throw up on you first.” She giggled.
Placing the bottle of water and the note on her side table, I tucked her into bed. “It sucks that you won't remember this.” I brushed her hair away from her face.
“Maybe it’s better that way. I won't fall any further for you than I already have.” She smirked.
Shaking my head, I leaned forward and gently pressed my lips to the corner of hers. It was another half kiss, because when I fully kissed her I wanted her to remember it. “Goodnight, Brie,” I whispered and left her dorm knowing there was no way I could forget her.
Julian was out of the picture; he would be going home for winter break, while I stayed on campus to work. Delaney would be with her parents. I would find a way to spend every possible chance with Brielle.
Chapter 11
Brielle
Christmas Eve.
Most of the student body had returned home for the holiday season. There were a few stragglers who stayed back and I was one of them. I realized after my first semester that traveling home for the six weeks wasn’t worth the trouble. I’d spend a fortune on gas and tolls, and there was always the chance of a snow shower along my drive. And after I got home I’d only miserable for the entire month and a half until I left again. Even though I loved my mother dearly, I hated my father. And my mother turned a blind eye to his whorish behavior.
I’d settle for staying on campus, jump-starting my workload for the following semester, and enjoying having my room all to myself. I loved Delaney, but being able to blast the music as loud as I wanted and not worrying about bothering my roommate was liberating.
Christmas alone did suck, though. I considered myself a tough person, but even I had a warm place in my heart when it came to Christmas. My father wasn’t always an asshole. If I dug deep, I’d find a memory of him carrying a Christmas tree into our house. My mother’s illnes
s became severe when I was a young girl. I did have many happy memories, even though the bad outweighed the good.
Delaney had gone on her family’s Christmas vacation, and Julian was with his family, so I planned to throw myself a Christmas party with alcohol, carbs, and chocolate.
I placed my items on the conveyer belt of the local grocery store near campus and was greeted by a kind and familiar smile.
“Hey, Chloe,” I said as I grabbed a Snickers bar from the rack. “Merry Christmas.”
“Merry Christmas to you too, Brie.” She slid my items over the scanner one by one. “I thought you usually go home for the holidays.” Chloe was one of the few students I knew who actually lived in Charlotte.
“The drive is really long and it snows a lot in Chicago.” I shrugged. “I'm better off here.” She scanned another item and I tried to change the subject. “Working on Christmas Eve must really suck.”
“It's really not that bad. My parents don't do Christmas Eve dinner till much later in the evening, and since I'm working I don't have to help clean up the dishes while my mom cooks, which is kind of nice.”
I smiled. I’d forgotten what it was like to have a happy Christmas or what it was like to help my mother cook.
“Hey, thanks for taking Delaney home that night. I knew she had a lot to drink.” I put my items in a bag.
“What night? “She cocked her head to the side as she scanned my package of Oreos.
“The Christmas bash. At Nate's house.”
Chloe shook her head. “I didn't take her home.”
“Oh.” Had I confused Chloe for someone else? I shook my head quickly. “I'm sorry, I guess I misunderstood her.” I gave her a big smile. “Del gave me way too much to drink that night.”
“No biggie.” Chloe shrugged. “Your total is forty-six dollars and thirty two cents.”
I swiped my card, entered my pin, and waited until she gave me my receipt. “Thanks, Chloe. I'll see you around. Have a happy New Year if I don't see you.”
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